Oh Ben & Jerry’s, I can never stay away from you.
Yes, I made a big fuss last time about how I wasn’t interested in B&J’s latest offering, Cannoli Ice Cream. But when it came down to it, I was weak. For as much as I enjoyed the pumpkin coffee ice cream, I couldn’t wait to get the cannoli flavor home and take a taste. I hope I don’t sound like a frozen dessert whore when I tell you that the two are sharing space in my freezer right now. In my defense, I’ve never had a bowl of each in the same night. A man has to have some morals.
So what convinced me to sample the forbidden ice cream? Well, the package promises mascarpone ice cream (and fuck you, red squiggly spellcheck line, that IS how you spell it) with fudge-covered cannoli pastry shell chunks, plus a mascarpone swirl. Actually, spellcheck is not a friend of “cannoli” either, which I think evinces a clear anti-Italian-American bias on the part of Microsoft. Which in turn reminds me of that Sopranos episode where Paulie Walnuts got upset because schools weren’t properly celebrating Columbus Day, but we’re getting waaaay off topic, so never mind.
To be honest, I’m just a tad disappointed that the cows on the carton aren’t wearing suits or eating spaghetti bolognese or something, but that might’ve been culturally insensitive. (For obvious reasons, leather jackets were a no-go.) I do think they missed out on a prime opportunity to give us Ben & Jerry’s “Leave the Gun, Take the Cannoli” ice cream, although the description on the back does advise you to leave the spoon, take the cannoli. Which… doesn’t make much sense (how are you going to eat it without a spoon?), but whatever.
When you first remove the lid, you’re met with what looks like chocolate chip ice cream, and that general appearance persists as you dig deeper. Never fear though, because like that guy you wouldn’t go out with in high school but then he becomes a moderately successful internet writer with cute kids, there’s more going on under the surface than it initially appears. For starters, the primary flavor is sweeter than vanilla ice cream, with a lingering but pleasant aftertaste. It’s fairly rich and you do have to have a bit of a sweet tooth to properly enjoy it; my wife, who subsists on salt licks and seawater, was not as much of a fan as I was.
The chips/chunks do indeed have that extra little fudge element, plus they taste a bit like waffle cone, which I presume is the “pastry shell” element. As for the mascarpone swirl, well, it’s not so much a visible swirl cutting through the ice cream as flecks peppered throughout the entire body. Overall the texture is pleasing, thick and creamy with enough elements to keep it interesting, and the chunks aren’t tough to chew.
It is also super fattening, so you might want to be doing leg lifts or squats while eating it (or bicycle crunches if you’re crazy coordinated). The calorie count is high though not ridiculous, but the saturated fat content is a cool 55% of your daily recommended value. It’s okay though, the total fat is only 25%! So as long as you’re okay with a 1/4 carton of this functioning as your entire lunch, go forth and conquer.
All jokes aside, like most of what Ben & Jerry’s has to offer, this is some good stuff. It’s limited batch, so if you’re interested, best not delay in grabbing a carton. Just make sure you’re committed to spending an extra 20 minutes at the gym the next day.
(Nutrition Facts – 1/2 cup – 280 calories, 140 calories from fat, 16 grams of total fat, 11 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 65 milligrams of cholesterol, 60 milligrams of sodium, 28 grams of total carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 23 grams of sugars, and 4 grams of protein.)
Item: Ben & Jerry’s Limited Batch Cannoli Ice Cream
Purchased Price: $3.99 (or 2 for $7)
Size: 1 pint
Purchased at: Giant
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Very sweet and nuanced. Good texture. Effective way to bulk up for wrestling? Fudge and pastry shell bits are delicious and relatively liberal. Not too fattening if you only eat two bites at a time.
Cons: Missed Godfather jokes. Probably even more fattening than most real cannolis. You do have to have a taste for sweetness. Cheating on the ice cream you brought home first.