REVIEW: McDonald’s Dollar Menu

McDonald's Dollar Menu

To celebrate McDonald’s 50th anniversary, I decided to review a McDonald’s product for today. Unfortunately, they don’t have anything new out, so instead I decided to order everything on the McDonald’s Dollar Menu and try to eat it all in one sitting.

Yeah! Eat your heart out, Morgan Spurlock. Oh wait, you would probably eat your heart out. After all, you did eat 30 straight days of nothing but McDonald’s food.

For those of you who are smart enough to avoid McDonald’s food, the Dollar Menu is a menu of items that cost only a dollar, but being that you’re smart enough to avoid McDonald’s food, you probably knew that already.

The eight items on the Dollar Menu are: A double cheeseburger, McChicken sandwich, small fries, small drink, hot fudge sundae, fruit ‘n yogurt parfait, two apple pies, and a side salad.

Eating everything on the Dollar Menu may not seem that bad, but consuming 2,455 calories, 107 grams of fat, 175 milligrams of cholesterol, 3,115 milligrams of sodium, 309 grams of carbs, and 152 grams of sugar can’t be a good thing, like being an 8-year old boy in a room with Michael Jackson.

This wasn’t Burger King Enormous Omelet Sandwich dangerous, it was Hardee’s Monster Thickburger dangerous.

As I waited in line at McDonald’s, I thought about the consequences of what I was about to do. I could increase my cholesterol count, have high blood pressure, gain a few pounds, or have really bad gas. After realizing this, I thought about walking out of the line and scheduling an appointment with my doctor to see if my body could handle this, or at least, pick up some Beano.

However, I said to myself, “Balls to the wall.”

Then I wondered if that saying even existed, but eventually shrugged it off and ordered my food.

I came away with five McDonald’s bags and as I drove away I wondered if it would’ve been safer for me to eat in the restaurant, just in case something happens. Oh, how I wish I had a medical alarm bracelet. “Help I’ve eaten three times the amount of McDonald’s food in one sitting than I should and I can’t get up because of my fat ass.”

When I got home and laid the food out on the table, a serious problem arose. Which food item should I start with? With eight food items there were eight way I could start, or as I decided to call it, eight ways to possibly get diabetes.

Since the hot fudge sundae was almost melted, I decided to start there. Oh, how I love the hot fudge sundae. Oh, how I wish I had a girlfriend to lick it off of. Oh, how I wish I didn’t sound like such a kinky freak.

I followed that with the not-so-fresh looking side salad, which could’ve been the healthiest item on the Dollar Menu if it weren’t for the creamy Caesar dressing I added. It’s sort of like eating a tub of ice cream while working out on your BowFlex or adding crack (pharmaceutical or anatomical) to your Kellogg’s Cracklin’ Oat Bran cereal.

The double cheeseburger and small fries were next, which was probably the best and least healthiest parts of the feast. I followed that with one of the baked-but-looks-fried apple pies. By this point, I was full, but took a few deep breaths and put my balls to the wall, finishing the fruit ‘n yogurt parfait, McChicken sandwich, and small soda.

After that barrage of food, all that was left was the other apple pie, but my spider-sense told me that I should leave the apple pie alone for now. However, six hours later, that apple pie became my dinner. It was the only thing I had for dinner.

It’s been over 24 hours since my Dollar Menu feast and I feel fine. However, yesterday after consuming everything, I felt extremely sluggish for the rest of the day and just lounged around the house. But at least I now know what it’s like to be Kevin Federline, except without the boinking Britney Spears part.

So what would I do differently next time? I definitely won’t try to eat the entire McDonald’s Dollar Menu in one sitting. Eating that much food on a regular basis could turn me into one of those 500-pound freaks who sit on the couch all day, have other people wipe their ass, and need a whole wall ripped out in order for them to be taken to a hospital.

Also, I really wished I had bought some Beano.

So what have I learned? Nothing new, but this experience has made me swear off fast food…for a few weeks or when someone builds a Hardee’s here, whichever comes first.

Oh yeah, Happy Birthday, McDonald’s!!!

Item: McDonald’s Dollar Menu
Purchase Price: $8.00
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Cheap eats, if bought individually. I’m still alive. Hot fudge sundae. Double cheeseburger. Small fries.
Cons: Expensive if bought all together. Same nutritional values as a Hardee’s Monster Thickburger sandwich. Too much food. Fruit ‘n yogurt parfait. Side salad. Couldn’t finish it all. Experienced what it’s like to be Kevin Federline. Really bad gas.

31 thoughts to “REVIEW: McDonald’s Dollar Menu”

  1. Wish we had those in Norway. Or not. It is a shame that I cannot find any of the products in the stores in Norway. Mabe I should send you a product from my home country. Hehe… Maby an episode of Norwegian Idol og maby I should just go to sleep… God night. Sleep tight.

  2. Balls to the wall is most certainly a saying, at least in this house. Though I have no balls, so I guess I’ll leave that to the Hubs. After watching Supersize Me I am not too interested in McDonald’s food anymore, so you are pretty crazy.

  3. mmm I’ve become addicted to their $1 cheeseburgers, I always order one on my break. Luckily for me, I don’t usually work long enough shifts to have a break.

  4. My tummy hurts in empathy.
    Oh, wait…that might be the McD’s cheapo burger I had this afternoon…
    damn, I do love their fries, tho.

  5. oh, that must have been the hardest review to do. Sick, sick disgusting burgers. So greasy. (the veggie burger, no mayo from Burgerking, though.. not greasy and incredibly delicious! and not meaty!)

    The salads… are HORRIBLE! I’d rather pick weeds out of the cracks of the sidewalk. Ew.

  6. So now a friend of one of the girls I live with, a boyfriend(?), stood ringing at the door until I had to go downstairs and open up. At seven o´clock in the morning!! Now that is not normal. I guess I should have put my balls to the wall and told him how much a wrong time that was to wake me, but I was polite. Not a moment to remember and be proud. So I think I am going to mcDonalds today to eat so much that I get diabetes just to feel less sad. Better to be stuffed and having no mind of my one, rather then waking at seven o´clock. Now did that make sence to you?

  7. I think we should all thank Marvo for taking one for the team here.


    Because eating all that shit will certainly kill you. If not now, then later.

  8. macOtto – I desperately try to avoid American Idol, so sending me an episode of Norwegian Idol might not be a good idea. Could you send me a Norwegian model instead? Oh wait, they’re probably all taller than me.

    david – Yup, those double cheeseburgers are cheap. Usually I get a double cheeseburger, small fries, and a cup of water. All for just two smackeroos.

    Crystal – I watched Super Size Me too and after coming out of the movie, I was going to swear off fast food forever, but this damn quasi-product review blog reeled me back in. Damn you Impulsive Buy. DAMN YOU!!!!

    Damon – You think all that crap coming into my body was bad, just imagine all that crap coming out.

    Lorien – The double cheeseburger is addicting. Not crack addicting, but addiciting.

    Thumper – Yes, McDonald’s does have the best fries. Although I have to admit they aren’t as good as they used to be, ever since that whole oil changing incident.

    kt – Holy crap! Burger King has a veggie burger. Oooh, I can’t wait for the Enormous Veggie Sandwich, which I think totally defeats the purpose of a veggie sandwich.

    macOtto – I remember being woken up at about 7:30 in the morning by a salesperson. Let me tell you, I wasn’t a happy camper. I opened the door, looked at the salesperson and after he said “Good Morning” I interrupted him by saying “It was a good morning, until you woke me up,” and then closed the door. Also, don’t get diabetes. I don’t have it, but it’s definitely not fun to have.

    Peggasus – Don’t I always seem to take one for the team. BTW, why am I the only one who seems to be taking one for the team? Oh yeah, that’s right, I’m the editor of a quasi-product review blog.

  9. all i can think right now is eww. eww times 8 icky food-products. you poor thing. eat healthy things for a week to make it up to your body.

    btw, fun McDonalds fact: did you know beer is on the menu at mcdonalds in germany? i think one day i’m gonna go have a beer and fries at the mcdonalds downtown, just to say i did.

  10. Bravo, you must one of the few to brave it even after having seen that documentary.
    Even braver is the point that you went ahead, even after finding out the nutritional value of the stuff.
    And finally, bravest to expect to find a punchline to this comment…


  11. Thanks for being our Crash Test Dummy, Marvo. Glad you survived the experience to write the review. By the way, if you ever get a girlfriend and don’t have time to go to McDonald’s to get a hot fudge sundae, you can always just microwave some Hershey’s syrup and use that instead.

  12. Coincidently, there are cheaper ways of getting really bad gas, which I’d equate to being Kevo: buy a head of cabbage and eat it raw.

    Around these parts, cabbage goes for $0.99.

    I’ve eaten a few of the side salads in my day. There isn’t much for a vegetarian to eat at McD’s except that or the, and this isn’t on the menu, veggie pattie deluxe. Burger King has a veggie Whopper which similarly doesn’t appear on the menu.

    I’ve always wondered how the apple pies taste, since I occasionally see them sitting under the heat lamp. Next to the fries. And the chicken. I assume they taste like chicken.

  13. Next time you’re at Mickey D’s, do yourself a favor: Order a FRESHLY FRIED small fry and a vanilla cone. DIVINE!!! And you won’t need to upchuck afterwards!! I order this combo when I’m driving around to COOL OFF after my kids have driven me to the brink of INSANITY!! Works like a charm, and I return home with the secret satisfaction of knowing that I made a trip to their favorite FF spot WITHOUT THEM!!

  14. Megan – I’ve been thinking about eating salads this whole week, but I’m afraid that at some point I’m going to crave meat so much that I’ll gnaw off a finger. Also, does the McDonald’s in German have good German beer or crappy McDonald’s beer.

    S – I prefer lardass and it’s not bravery, it’s stupidity.

    marit – Sorry for my gluttonous experience. Fortunately, I didn’t throw up.

    nat – I did think about trying this with the value menu at Wendy’s, but I’m afraid of finding fingers.

    Chuck – It’s actually better with the hot fudge sundae because there’s a combination of hot and cold. I’ve never tried microwaved Hershey’s syrup before. How long should I stick the syrup in the microwave for? Because as I’ve learned with wax, it’s no fun when it’s really hot.

    TheInfamousJ – Oh yeah, cabbage gas sucks. I don’t eat corned beef and cabbage as much because of it. As for the apple pies, they don’t taste like chicken.

    Nzyme – Oh it will be a while before I step into another McDonald’s. For the next week, it’s Subway.

    John Evans – Maybe next time you can do the Wendy’s value menu for me. 🙂

  15. Wow, I can’t believe you went through that many McD dollar items at once. I was going to try go through it one by one for my site, but now you’ve saved me the trouble! Great post, thanks.

  16. Marvo, it’s a judgement call on the syrup depending upon how powerful the microwave, how full the bottle of syrup, and how kinky your partner is. However, I would say in general 30-60 seconds does the trick. If you’re feeling really adventurous, add some spray-on whip cream (thus adding the “cold” element, even though it isn’t ice cream cold.) And be sure to have laundry detergent available for later. Yahtzee!

  17. Chuck – Oh yeah, combine syrup and whip cream. Oooh, what about chocolate sprinkles?

  18. Marvo – you realize there is such a thing as a salad with meat in it.

    about the beer at McD’s – i havent had it but i know here they have Munich’s brew. I dont know if that is what they have all over Germany. I havent tried it because if I drink a beer, it’s our city’s local brew, but Munich has the biggest Oktoberfest with the most beer tents, so their beer must not be too bad.

  19. Megan – Yeah, I know, but I’ve always believed eating salads with meat defeats the whole purpose of eating salads.

  20. i LOVE the dollar menu items! I get a McChicken with fries at least once a week….I know it’s garbage and that it will kill me, yadda yadda, but it’s a buck!!!

    if they made those Chicken Bacon Ranch salads $1, I’d choose that instead. As if THAT’S any healthier. 🙂

  21. Webmiztris – If they weren’t so bad for me, I’d eat a double cheeseburger EVERY SINGLE DAY. Oh wait, that dude in Super Size Me eats a Big Mac every day, so I should be able to eat a double cheeseburger every day.

  22. WOW Congrats on getting most of the items down in one sitting. Did you see the Supersize Me movie? That was bad well bad for the guy who did it becaue i thought he would die before the end of the 30 days was up. Anyway I am impressed that you could eat that much with out falling over dead yourself.

  23. Becky – Yup, I’m alive and I’ve got bigger plans next time. I’m thinking about eating the whole Taco Bell Big Value Menu. Then the entire Super Value Menu at Wendy’s. I think after eating those, then I’ll be dead.

  24. Dave – Try to be more original? Seriously, is Dave an original way to shorten your name? Geez, you’re just riding the coat tails of Dave Barry, Dave Letterman, Dave Stewart, Dave Matthews, and Dave Thomas. Why don’t you call yourself, Dav or Davy? Oh wait, not Davy, then you would be riding the coat tails of Davy Jones. Why don’t you shorten your name to Da? Or just the letter D, so that I can add in the rest of the letters myself. Maybe I’ll add -umbass or -ick.

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