Oh my god, Fruity Pebbles, pink was, like, so 2004.
I don’t know if you, like, got the memo, but pink is, like, no longer the new black.
So why don’t you, like, go back home to your South Beach Diet and listen to the Usher song â€œYeah!â€ on, like, your CD player?
Oh my god, you’re, like, so not current. I bet you, like, still call P. Diddy, Puff Daddy.
I mean, like, where have you been for the past five months? Living in, like, a cave?
Not even singer Pink likes pink anymore. I heard she’s gonna, like, change her name to Fuchia or something like that.
Oh my god, like, look at your shoes! Have you been, like, shopping from the clearance rack?
Pffff… You know what? I had those shoes in, like, 2003. But, like, a week later I donated them to Goodwill, because they, like, weren’t in style anymore. I bet that’s where you, like, got them from.
I bet you, like, also still have acid-washed jeans and Benetton clothing in your closet.
Why are you, like, adding a new color anyway? It’s not like you taste any better or look any better. You could’ve, like, added death black, vomit green, or doo-doo brown, you still will, like, taste the same.
Oh my god, like, you have so many colors anyway, Fruity Pebbles. It’s like you got caught in a tornado with, like, Elton John’s wardrobe.
Why don’t you, like, add marshmallows or something? Those are, like, so hot right now. But, like, if you don’t do it by next week, it’s gonna be, like, so not hot, like that pink outfit you’re, like, wearing.
Oh my god, how about some, like, contrast? You look like a bottle of, like, Pepto Bismol.
I think I, like, need a bottle of it right now, because I’m, like, getting nauseated from looking at how uncool you are.
Anyway, I have to, like, go, because, like, your uncoolness is, like, totally rubbing off on me. I think I have to, like, buy a whole new wardrobe because of you. And, like, I guarantee my new wardrobe won’t have, like, any pink.
Item: Post Fruity Pebbles with New Bedrock Berry Pink
Purchase Price: $2.50 (on sale)
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Tastes just like normal Fruity Pebbles. There’s, like, 10 essential vitamins and minerals.
Cons: Pink was, like, so 2004. Like, so not current. Adding, like, a new color is, like, so not hot. The game on the back of the box was, like, hard.