REVIEW: Hershey’s Whoppers Twosomes

Hershey's Whoppers Twosomes

Oh, if only Dr. Frankenstein used milk chocolate and Whoppers to create his creature instead of cadavers, then maybe everyone would have loved his creature, instead of running away in fear.

Fortunately for us, the Hershey company decided to use milk chocolate and Whoppers to create something that we could all possibly love and not want to burn to death with torches, the Hershey’s Whoppers Twosomes.

If you’re not familiar with Whoppers, they are malted milk balls, that are about half an inch in diameter and come in either a cardboard box or a box that’s similar to a milk carton. You can suck on them or bite them to get to the milky malted goodness.

The good thing about them is that they’re great to eat in movie theaters because of its chocolatey goodness, they’re easy to share, and they’re easy to throw at the screen when they show irritating commercials or a preview of the next Jennifer Lopez movie.

There are also a few bad things about Whoppers, like the malted milk can get stuck on your teeth, I can’t fit more than seven of them in my mouth, and they make horrible replacements for eyeballs and testicles.

The Whoppers in the Hershey’s Whoppers Twosomes were mini ones, which are roughly the size of BB pellets or my balls when I go swimming in really cold water.

The top of the candy bar looks like a typical Hershey’s chocolate bar, but the bottom of it has dozens of bumps from the protruding mini Whoppers, which reminded me of a few things, like a Nestle Crunch bar, my pimple-covered skin when I was fifteen years old, and the most confusing braille sign ever.

When I took a bite into the candy bar, the Whoppers dominated the taste of it, which was good, because I really like the taste of Whoppers. The candy bar had a similar crunch and texture of a Nestle Crunch bar.

The Hershey’s Twosomes not only come in a Whoppers version, there’s also a Reese’s Pieces version and a Heath Bar version.

Unfortunately, all three are limited edition candy bars, so once they’re gone, they’re gone…until Hershey decides to tease us again next year by reintroducing them as limited edition candy bars and then taking them away, making us want more.

I guess Hershey believes if this teasing works well for drug dealers, it should work well for candy bars.

Item: Hershey’s Whoppers Twosomes
Purchase Price: 55 cents
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Really good. Get the Whoppers taste without big chocolate balls in your mouth. Has the crunch and texture of a Nestle Crunch bar.
Cons: Limited edition. Back of candy bar can be used as the worst braille sign ever. My complexion when I was fifteen.

34 thoughts to “REVIEW: Hershey’s Whoppers Twosomes”

  1. I think you forgot a con, cold water shrunken balls. Don’t forget that, although I guess if your jockies are too tight, it6 could be a pro. Glad to see the whoppers won. I don’t think this limited edition made it to GA though, i have not seen these things yet!

  2. I never liked Whopper’s much, myself, but the Heath and Reese’s one’s sound interesting…so, Marvo, if this candy bar was in prison, would regular Hershey’s bars be its bitch?

  3. why must you torture me with this? whoppers are the best, so i know i’d love this, but the limited supply will be gone when i return to the good old US of A and there is no way we’ll get them in germany.

  4. When I saw your initial post to vote I was excited to see that this bar even existed. I found it at a liquor store last week and was going to review it on my blog. But I ate it before I could even take a picture.

    IT WAS FANTASTIC! Why haven’t they made this kind of bar before?

    I’m not one for writing fan letters, but I’m going to send one to Hershey’s to tell them to keep this one (actually, make it in the Nuggets, that’d be even better).

    Since that first bar I’ve searched ever grocery store, convenience store and drug store I’ve been in … no one seems to have it! Back to the liquor store for me tonight.

  5. Don’t eat the reese’s pieces one…it tastes nothing like reese’s pieces. i’m not sure what it tastes like but it was thoroughly unenjoyable.

    for those who can’t find it check CVS as they appear to have a nice stock of all the falvors.

  6. Ah, but I LIKE big chocolate balls in my mouth… dangit, now I want a box of Whoppers. Big Ones. REALLY big ones…

  7. mmmm . . . big chocolate balls. Where was I? Got lost for a minute. I’m glad to see that my vote counted! Now I really have to try this!

  8. If Hershey’s does pull this “limited edition” bar from the shelves, you can always buy a Nestle Crunch and a box of Whoppers and just shove ’em both in your mouth at the same time. Well, not the box itself…unless you’re in to that.

  9. celebrate woo-woo – Mmm…When I ate them it was like I was having a Whoppers convention in my mouth.

    Amy in GA – Yeah, I haven’t seen them anywhere else, except at my 7-11. Actually, I went to my 7-11 yesterday to get more, but they were sold out, but the Heath Twosomes were still there.

    Chuck – No, I don’t think so. Regular Hershey’s bars are pure and simple and I like items that are pure and simple (except women), because sometimes you want a candy bar, but without having to choose whether you want it with almonds or Heath pieces.

    Megan – I’m sorry. If it makes you feel better I can lie and say I didn’t enjoy it. 🙂

    cybele – If you’re desperate for an image, you can take mine. Anyway, I think if one of these “limited edition” candy bars are really popular, they might make it a regular candy bar. I’ve seen it happen before with the Jalapeno Pringles. It was labeled as a limited edition flavor, but a few months later it became a regular flavor.

  10. Star – If you didn’t like the Reese’s Pieces version, I wonder if ET would enjoy it?

    Thumper – How about big chocolate salty balls? (Yes! South Park reference!)

    Lucy – I’m sorry, I don’t know. But I think what it says is part of some conspiracy. I believe it could tell us where Hoffa is or if there was another shooter on the grassy knoll or if Tom Cruise like sausages.

    pel – If I were you, I’d drop everything you’re doing right now and go look for them, because they might be hard to find. I knew I should’ve bought a whole bunch of them. I could’ve sold them for three or four times more than I paid. Dammit!

    Mellie Helen – Well I hear cardboard is chock full of fiber, so maybe I wouldn’t have to drink Metamucil to get my fiber.

  11. Oh man, that reeses one sounds like love….

    It’s the only way I’ll eat peanut butter. 😛

  12. hey you all, aren’t you craving for a healthy, yummy, flavorful italian fish soup, after all those junkie chocolate and burgers?? 😉

  13. I was always a bit scared of Whoppers. Their smooth texture means you might swallow them before you were ready, which could result in an embarrassing autopsy.

  14. Marvo, when it comes to women, I’m not a fan of pure and simple either. Simple is boring and I can’t afford pure.

  15. “…they’re easy to throw at the screen when they show irritating commercials or a preview of the next Jennifer Lopez movie.”

    Oh God, they’re gonna let her make another one? Maybe I should just claw out my eyes and replace then with a couple Whoppers.

  16. kt – I’ll eat peanut butter anyway that I can. I would eat it in a boat and I would eat it with a goat. I would eat it in a box and I will eat them off of Eva Longoria, that fox.

    dandyna – Actually, I’m craving some authentic Italian food, but not Italian fish soup, because I don’t really like fish. I think I’d have FInding Nemo nightmares.

    Damon – Dude, you must be specific when talking about threesomes. It’s either two girls and a guy, two guys and a girl, three girls, or three guys.

    klew – An even more embarrassing autopsy? Being found that you died from listening to Celine Dion.

    Chuck – Yes, simple is boring.

    Sven – A Jennifer Lopez movie is bad, but when she also does the movie’s soundtrack, it’s really bad.

  17. I tried all three: the Resee’s one sucks, the Whopper one is great, but the best, surprisingly, is Heath. Tastes different… better when cold.

  18. Damon – Just making sure. 🙂

    Brandon – The Heath one is still in my fridge, but you’ve tempted me to eat it.

  19. Whoppers are like, the greatest candy ever devised. They can do no wrong…. unless you made like a Pepsi with Whoppers. That would suck.

  20. marvo – you are truly evil. this review made me miss whoppers and i wound up buying a pack of whoppers (since i cant get this limited edition candy) today at lunch. not only are you evil for making me crave whoppers, my coworker then called ME evil because i brought them back to the office and shared. did you know one little review could sabotage two women’s healthy eating for a day?

  21. Wana Fanta, dont cha wana, wana Fanta… YES, irritating to say the least! I cant stand the Fanta girls.

    Glad you went with the Whoppers though! Yum! Now we can all enjoy chocolate balls in our mouths!

  22. The chocolate balls reference reminded me of Chef’s “Salty Chocolate Balls” song from South Park. Put ’em in your mouth!

  23. “Hey everybody, have you seen my balls, they’re big and salty and brown.”


  24. Ken – Crushed Whoppers and vanilla ice cream totally rock!

    Megan – Again, I’m sorry and, if it’s any consolation, I don’t think you’re evil.

    Ultimate Best Vamp Ever – I regret putting that song in this review. Now it’s stuck in my head.

    Chuck – Oh, one of the classic South Park episodes.

    Jeff – I like Big Mac too, but I think he might have done steroids.

    Brandon – I ate it and it was pretty good. Although I slightly prefer the Whoppers Twosomes.

  25. Thanks for the offer Marvo of the photo. I found the 7-11 by the office carries them (I bought two … um, and ate one before I got home).

    Now I just need to photograph this one (with lots of attention to the braille that you mentioned on the bottom which I didn’t notice the first time because I WOLFED it down).

  26. cybele – Man, my 7-11 is all tapped out. I think I should go to all the other 7-11s, buy up their stock, and then sell them on eBay.

    Webmiztris – Mmm…Reese’s.

  27. CT – I’m glad you liked it and I hope you bought in bulk because I think people might pay some big bucks for them. Of course, when I say “big bucks” I mean a dollar or so.

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