REVIEW: Dunkin’ Midnight Coffee

Dunkin Midnight Coffee Cup

What is Dunkin’ Midnight Coffee?

In accordance with the present times, Dunkin’ has decided to get a little dark – darker than it’s ever gone before, in fact, with the release of the new Midnight Coffee.

How is it?

I almost always opt for the dark roast when I order my cold brews on the app, but that option seemed to disappear in the past month or so. Thankfully Dunkin’ has decided to go even darker with its new Midnight blend.

I’m just gonna say it – Dunkin’s regular base coffee stinks.

But it is a gateway to a better beverage. If you love it, more power to ya, but I can’t fathom drinking it black. It’s just not that good. 4 out of 10.

Dunkin Midnight Coffee Comparison

To reinforce my opinion, I tried a hot Midnight coffee against Dunkin’s regular roast, and it was (mid)night and day. Of all the crazy sugar bombs Dunkin’ drops monthly, this might be the most important menu addition in years.

Ok, I’m being dramatic. But for a dark roast fan like myself, this is big.

Dunkin Midnight Coffee Mug

Midnight is a rich, darker blend that leans more towards espresso with big notes of bitter dark chocolate.

I found the taste to be softer and dryer than the standard, with a much more pleasant aftertaste. It made the regular coffee sour in comparison.

Anything else you need to know?

After taking a few sips of the straight black coffees, I added oat milk, which is the G.O.A.T. milk, not be confused with goat milk, which is a goat’s milk.

Again, Midnight was considerably better. The oat milk’s creaminess enhanced the dark chocolate notes slightly and left a chocolate-covered espresso bean flavor in its wake.

Conclusion:

Dunkin Midnight Coffee Mug

Look, I’ll probably never order a hot black Midnight coffee again if I’m honest, but that doesn’t change the fact that Dunkin’ finally has a coffee I would drink black. It’s not hard to mask the flavor of Dunkin’s base roast, but I’m still thrilled it’s added a new starting point to my coffee order.

Dunkin’ better expand Midnight into the iced side of the menu because I see no reason to ever go back. If you’re a dark roast coffee drinker, this is definitely for you.

Purchased Price: $1.87
Size: Small
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: Not available on website.

REVIEW: Doritos 3D Crunch

Doritos 3D Crunch Bags

2020 is finally over, and I’m here to say, “Out with the old, and in with the… older?”

Yeah, that’s right, we’re starting 2021 off with an Ecto Cooler-level nostalgia bomb. Doritos 3D’s are back, ushering us into the new and, hopefully, better year.

Who hasn’t yearned for these little puffed up triangle balls? They haven’t been on supermarket shelves in well over a decade, unless you live in Mexico. I loved them so much as a kid that I’ve often thought about buying bags on eBay for the price of a steak dinner.

I had given up hope of a revival until recently when I had an inkling. Call me Nosh-stradamus because as soon as Frito-Lay released Poppables (which rule if you aren’t aware), I had a feeling it was a test run for the inevitable Doritos 3D reboot.

I guess I was right because Doritos 3D’s are back and rebranded as Doritos 3D Crunch.

Gone are the days of Nacho Cheese, Zesty Ranch, and Jalapeno Cheddar. Instead, the new iteration comes in two flavors – Chili Cheese Nacho and Spicy Ranch.

So, I’m just gonna cut to the chase and tell ya these are allllmost as good as I remember.

Doritos 3D Crunch Chili Cheese Nacho

If you’ve ever had Chili Cheese Fritos, you know what to expect from Doritos 3D Crunch Chili Cheese Nacho. The scent and flavor coating were almost identical to me. I love Chili Cheese Fritos, so that was just fine, although the Nacho kinda gets lost in the shuffle. Not sure how you can release a Doritos product with “Nacho” in the name and not tap into that iconic flavor we all know and love, but these still hit the spot.

Doritos 3D Crunch Spicy Ranch

Which leads nicely into my review of Spicy Ranch. Have you ever had Spicy Jalapeno Fritos? Well, these taste very similar to those. The heat level is right on par, clocking in right around your typical jalapeno-flavored chip, but below Frito-Lay’s Flamin’ Hot line of excessively red snacks. The Cool Ranch works better here than the Nacho, pairing well with the jalapeno kick, but again, I coulda used more of it. It comes in with a bang, but gets swallowed up quickly. These are Cool Ranch, but in 2021 we’re used to Cooler Ranch!

I really liked both varieties, but still walked away slightly bummed that the two flavors didn’t pop as much as I’d hoped. I kinda wish they just released the old reliable Nacho Cheese and Cooler Ranch first instead of basically making super-hybrids of the original three 3D’s varieties. I’m sure these will sell enough to warrant more flavors, so we may still see the OGs in 3D.

As for the texture, I definitely understand the “Crunch” addition to the name. These are closer to Bugles than I remembered them being. I could be wrong, but I feel like the shape is even closer to a Bugle these days. I thought they were a bit rounder and airier back in the day.

Doritos 3D Crunch are fully enclosed, slightly crunchier versions of Bugles featuring Fritos flavors. I’d sign up for that on paper, wouldn’t you?

Doritos 3D Crunch Spill

I wanna nitpick and say I pretty much hate the bag artwork, but these were still a welcome sight. I missed 3D’s, and I had no problem polishing off the small bags I got. In reality, I’d probably give Spicy Ranch a slight nod, but since these both tasted good and boosted my spirits, it’s a dead heat.

You owe it to yourself to snag both as soon as you see ’em. Best of luck to everyone in the new year!

DISCLOSURE: I received free samples of this product. Doing so did not influence my review.

Purchased Price: FREE
Size: 2 oz. bags
Purchased at: Received from Doritos
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (about 27 pieces) Chili Cheese Nacho – 130 calories, 7 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 210 milligrams of sodium, 18 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, less than 1 gram of sugar, 2 grams of protein. Spicy Ranch – 130 calories, 6 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 200 milligrams of sodium, 18 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, less than 1 gram of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Kellogg’s Eggo Chocolate Waffle Cereal

Kellogg s Eggo Chocolate Waffle Cereal Box

It’s been a hot minute since I’ve had a waffle-flavored cereal.

Ok, it’s actually been a couple lukewarm-at-best decades.

If you don’t count French Toast Crunch, which had a similar flavor profile, I’m positive I haven’t had a waffle cereal since the very first iteration of Waffle Crisp way back in 1996, aka “the Before Times.”

While I’ve wanted to give Eggo Cereals (and that insane Post Chicken & Waffles abomination) a try, I never got around to it. When I heard Kellogg was releasing a chocolate version, I had to put an end to my 24-year waffle cereal drought.

Kellogg s Eggo Chocolate Waffle Cereal Back

I approached Chocolate Eggo Waffle Cereal with the hopes it would maybe blend the promised chocolate with something like a maple syrup accent. I like most chocolate cereals enough, but they usually leave me feeling like I just had another bowl of Cocoa Puffs. I think a good chocolate cereal needs a co-star.

So, does this have a co-star in the form of maple?

No. No, it really doesn’t. This is pretty much just another Cocoa Puffs clone.

Which isn’t to say it’s bad. I’m not quite cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs, but it’s still a classic breakfast cereal. I’m just bummed to say these really don’t break the waffled mold.

They exist in a taste range between Count Chocula’s cereal pieces and Cocoa Puffs. It’s not a super wide range, but there’s just slightly enough to separate each chocolate cereal from the other.

Kellogg s Eggo Chocolate Waffle Cereal Milked

The fun little waffle-shaped pieces are lightly dusted with a sugary coating that I kept trying to convince myself was maple, because it should be. I just don’t think it is.

I want to tell you they taste like genuine waffles, but when was the last time you even had a chocolate waffle? Chocolate chips, maybe, but straight chocolate? Even if these attempted to “taste” like a waffle, the chocolate was always gonna overpower that.

I will say the texture was perfect, but that’s probably because of it being fresh on shelves. Despite having a similar shape to Honeycomb, they aren’t quite as soft, but they also aren’t as pebbly as Cocoa Puffs can be. They maintained a nice outer ring of crunch as the center developed a manageable sog.

There’s a sweet chocolate milk afterburn as you’d expect, and they smell like brownie batter, so there are still plenty of positives. They also make a nice dry snack.

I’m still just mildly baffled about the choice to not include a maple-like flavor.

Kellogg s Eggo Chocolate Waffle Cereal Box Bowl

How many more straight chocolate cereals do we really need? There are already the tried-and-true classics, and we basically get a new one every couple of months. At least these aren’t as dreadful as the Hershey Kisses cereal I picked up a few months back. I thought those were pure trash.

I say pick these up if they’re on sale. Otherwise, I think they’re safe to “Leggo.” They’re good, but nothing revolutionary.

Purchased Price: $3.88
Size: 8.8 oz.
Purchased at: Shop Rite
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 1/4 Cup) 170 calories, 3 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 160 milligrams of sodium, 35 grams of total carbohydrates, 2 grams of dietary fiber, 15 grams of sugar, and 1 gram of protein.

REVIEW: Dunkin’ Sugarplum Iced Macchiato

Dunkin Sugarplum Macchiato Cup

What is Dunkin’s Sugarplum Iced Macchiato

One of the most flavorful coffee concoctions Dunkin’ has ever released, and certainly its most purple!

How is it?

I love it, but I have to admit, I didn’t know what a sugarplum was, and I still kinda don’t?

Are they even a real thing, or did that dude who wrote “Twas the Night Before Christmas” make them up? Is it just a candied plum? Is “sugarplum” just a cute blanket word for “sweets,” kinda like how the British use “pudding” to describe everything from actual pudding to cake to, like, toothpaste?

Every time I hear the word, I think of a hard-boiled noir detective being a jerk to some poor dame. “Hows about grabbin’ me a cuppa joe, sugarplums?”

Perhaps that bit of poorly aged dialogue somehow inspired this delicious coffee drink?

I decided to skip any and all research in an attempt to figure out what sugarplum actually tastes like, and I settled on “berry bomb.”

Dunkin Sugarplum Macchiato Berry Closeup

I may have been influenced by the whimsical color of the drink itself (seriously, how cool looking is that?). But on any given sip, I tasted just about every “dark fruit” from grape to blueberry to its namesake, plum. I’d describe it as vaguely “Fruity Pebbles After-milk.”

If Nestle Quik released an all-encompassing “Berry Milk” flavor, it would probably taste like the lower level of this drink, and I can’t compliment Dunkin’ enough.

Anything else you need to know?

As you can see from the oil and vinegar-style separation, the top layer is espresso, and it packs a wallop. I was able to take sips of each layer individually just by moving the straw. That’s some of the strongest coffee Dunkin’ has to offer.

After sampling each layer a few times, I mixed it up, and while the milky sugarplum layer lost a lot of its punch, it still made for a really nice iced macchiato. Then again, I’m the type of freak who likes to order blueberry flavor shots in my coffee.

Conclusion:

I doubled back to Dunkin’s press release, which described sugarplum as “bright berry flavors of blueberry, raspberry, blackberry, and plum,” so I was in the ballpark. I love that a fruit like plum gets to shine a bit for once, and I think this was a creative new spin on holiday gimmicks. I can see this becoming a yearly thing, and I fully expect more brands to get on the Sugarplum Express. We all know imitation is the sincerest form of fattery… flattery.

Purchased Price: $4.39
Size: Medium
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (with whole milk) 280 calories, 6 grams of fat, 0 gram of trans fat, 3.5 grams of saturated fat, 20 mg of cholesterol, 160 milligrams of sodium, 47 grams of total carbohydrates, 44 grams of total sugars, 0 grams of fiber, and 9 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Drake’s Alpine Yodels

Drake s Alpine Yodels Box

What are Drake’s Alpine Yodels?

I don’t know about you, but Yodelers remind me of fresh alpine snow.

I guess the good folks at Drake’s agree because they’ve decided to invert the color (and flavor) of their classic chocolate snack rolls.

How are they?

I grew up with a guy named Al Pine.

He was just another generic white dude who didn’t really bring much to the table. I can’t say I necessarily enjoyed his presence, but he was… fine? Pretty boring. Decent guy, I guess.

Ok, I’m lying. Al Pine’s not real, but everything I said about him rings true to new Alpine Yodels. I’m pretty sure they’d be dead center on the “best snack cake” chart. These could literally be the barometer for average.

Drake s Alpine Yodels Coating

Obviously, the usual Yodel chocolate is replaced by a bland, “as mildly salty as sweet,” white plastic fudge. I think? I don’t actually know what Drake’s classifies its shell as.

Drake s Alpine Yodels Filling

When you couple that thin coating of milky nothing with a yellow cake and the usual crème, you’re left with just a benign vanilla-ish flavor that will make you yearn for chocolate.

Anything else you need to know?

Drake s Alpine Yodels Wrapper

Fresh Yodels have a great texture, so while these don’t burst with flavor, that aspect was still as enjoyable as I remember. Yet I’m bummed because I love a good Yodel, or Devil Dog, or Ding Dong.

Conclusion:

If the shell was double the thickness with a stronger white chocolate flavor, these would creep up the list. But for now, I stand by the assessment that they are the most average snack cake of all time. Maybe that’s your thing, but if I indulge in a snack cake, it might as well be worth the calories.

Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: 11.6 oz box
Purchased at: Acme
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2 Cakes) 280 calories, 15 grams of fat, 0 gram of trans fat, 9 grams of saturated fat, 170 milligrams of sodium, 36 grams of total carbohydrates, 24 grams of total sugars, 1 gram of fiber, and 1 gram of protein.