Author: Vin

REVIEW: Dunkin’ Wraps Chorizo & Egg

Vin 10 Comments

I owe Dunkin’ a bit of an apology.

Last year when it changed its app’s rewards program, I threw a full-blown hissy fit. “What do you mean I won’t ‘earn’ free coffees as often as I used to?! Wahhh, I’m a big fat entitled baby!” – real quote.

Ya know what, though? I’ve actually grown to like the new rewards. Every month when Dunkin’ releases something new, there’s usually a nice deal or two to be had within the app. Without said deals, I probably wouldn’t be trying and enjoying half of its new menu items.

Case in point – the new Chorizo & Egg Wrap. I may have skipped this one if not for this month’s offer. I got a $3 wrap with the purchase of a drink I was already getting. That’s not the BEST deal ever, but it worked on me. I’ve long been a fan of Dunkin’s line of Wake-up Wraps, so I figured this one couldn’t be too bad.

I figured…

It turns out it’s kinda bad.

The idea of chorizo being on Dunkin’s menu probably should have been my first red flag, but I assumed it does breakfast sausage, so how different can it be? Oh, it be different.

When I unwrapped the Chorizo and Egg Wrap, it looked like a giant Cheez-It, or rather a brittle, red, dusty dry brick. When I bit in, it was all of those words, but thankfully did not taste like a brick. Instead, it tasted like quite the opposite, pure lukewarm slop.

Along with cubes of scrambled egg, there are chunks of rubbery chorizo, roasted veggies of which I couldn’t even register, a few beans, and a “dose” of some kind of (Mexican?) cheese sauce. On paper, that doesn’t sound bad at all, but no single ingredient really stood out. The egg got swallowed up, and the rest just blended together into an unpleasant mix of mildly spicy – I gotta use the word again – slop. I like my chorizo more crumbled and way crispier.

Now I’ll be fair, the spice was nice. There’s just enough there that it won’t derail your morning. I imagine it came mostly from the chorizo and the cheese. Either way that zesty flavor was almost enough to get a passing grade, but nothing else landed.

The cheese, oily sausage balls, and mushed-up veggies just made for a wet mess that, to be fair, somehow stayed within the walls of the red pepper wrap that I genuinely didn’t like. It’s more of a sandwich wrap than a soft taco or burrito. Those may seem similar, but this should’ve absolutely been served in a soft tortilla.

So yeah, this is the first misfire I’ve had from Dunkin’ in some time. I’d compare it to a sausage Pillsbury Toaster Scramble, but worse. Without the app deal, I would’ve never spent five bucks on this. I kinda wish I didn’t spend three. I’m gonna have to rescind my apology. I want the old reward system back! In conclusion, wahhhh, I’m still a big fat entitled baby.

Purchased Price: $3.00 ($4.99 regular price)
Rating: 3 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 410 calories, 21 grams of fat, 10 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 140 mg of cholesterol, 1010 milligrams of sodium, 34 grams of total carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 3 grams of sugar, and 20 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Burger King Fiery Nuggets

Vin 7 Comments

After multiple tries, Burger King is once again throwing its paper crown into the spicy nugget ring. Will it finally strike while the iron is hot, or will it flame out again?

Spicy chicken is nothing new for BK, but I feel it has always lagged behind the other behemoths in that category. Its spicy nuggets came and went with zero fanfare, the sandwiches never made much noise, and while I like hot Chicken Fries just fine, BK definitely has some catching up to do.

Those countless feeble attempts are actually what intrigued me about BK’s new Fiery Nuggets. I just assumed they were a re-branding of the previous spicy nugget, but they turned out to be much more. The innovators of the chicken fry have created something familiar but new here – chunks of chicken that exist between a standard nugget and a boneless buffalo wing.

“MEHHHH, boneless wings ARE just saucy nuggets.” – You. That’s you, right now.

You’re partially right when it comes to Fiery Nuggets, but I still think these are unique.

They may look like a redder version of BK’s traditional chicken nuggets, but they’re coated with “an irresistible spicy glaze” that contains cayenne pepper, bird’s eye chili pepper, and black pepper. Those flavors combine to give these a mildly sweet and spicy flavor unlike anything on the menu.

The nuggets are somehow both dry and super greasy. The coating isn’t quite a dusting, but also not quite a sauce. They feel a little slimy but still hold a slight crispiness. I don’t know how they landed in the middle of everything here, but they did.

The flavor is all over the place, but it’s… excellent? I’m still not sure what’s going on. The sweet into heat reminded me of teriyaki on some bites, but honey BBQ on others. It almost tasted like a Lay’s Flamin’ Hot BBQ. They ride the line between spicy, sweet, and salty really well. That grease though…

They’re so greasy! It’s definitely to their detriment. The bag was dripping. I devoured the eight nuggets and didn’t feel great about it. That being said, they went down pretty easy in the heat department. I saw some rumblings that this might be the hottest chicken in fast food, but I think I had spicier chicken at Wendy’s and Chick-fil-A during recent visits.

Your mileage may vary on BK nuggets. I like ’em, but I can see how someone might say they taste like an old yoga mat. I think Fiery Nuggets are a hit despite the sickening amount of grease. If they had the dry, crispier structure of McNuggets, I might’ve flirted with a perfect score.

I don’t know if I can say they’re better than the old reliable Wendy’s spicy nuggets just yet, but I have them above Spicy Chicken McNuggets.

I like to think BK dropped these in honor of the Heat-Nuggets NBA Finals, but the truth is they put them out for me. These are for me and people like me, and I appreciate it. Try ’em. They’re only three bucks.

Long live The King.

Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: 8 pieces
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 530 calories, 39 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 55 milligrams of cholesterol, 1220 milligrams of sodium, 26 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 2 grams of sugar, and 19 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Sonic Strawberry Shortcake Snowball Slush Float

Vin 8 Comments

Sonic sells Strawberry Shortcake Snowball Slush Floats now, and I gotta tell you, they’re a mouthful.

Sonic. Sells. Strawberry. Shortcake. Snowball. Slush. Floats.

Yeah, that’s literally a mouthful. Sally should ditch the seashells and lace up some roller skates. I’m sure there’s a Sonic drive-in near her sea town.

How fast can you say that? Because I honestly get a little tripped up at “shortcake,” which will be a running theme of this review.

Sonic sells Strawberry Short—ah!

Yeah, I can’t get past that without slowing down. Brain freeze before the brain freeze, right? Anyway…

The S5F consists of “strawberries and a sweet shortcake flavor all swirled into an icy slush. Topped with a snowball of ice cream and sugary snow crystals.”

The float starts with a huge plop of vanilla ice cream sprinkled with crystalized sugar, which really got the snowball off and rolling. Not sure why simply adding a little generic sugar helped the ice cream, but man, was it good. I mean, it’s ultimately unnecessary and quickly gets swallowed up in the rest of the float, but those first couple of crunchy spoonfuls were awesome.

Once I dug around the ice cream blockade a little, I got into the nitty-gritty of the float, which was the strawberry and shortcake (?) flavored slush.

I don’t know why this threw me off so much, but I don’t understand which flavor was doing what here. Don’t get me wrong, I really liked it, but the shortcake flavor just seemed to exist as its own entity, which I couldn’t pinpoint. I thought I was gonna get a bunch of actual cake at the bottom, but no, an air of cake was just there, emanating.

Sonic’s site simply calls it “shortcake flavor,” with a picture of a generic powdery swirl underneath it. The ice cream isn’t cake flavored, and the cake pieces never came.

Why are there no genuine cake pieces in this thing? They toss stuff like that into floats and shakes all the time. I thought for sure that was gonna be a lock.

Whatever, I’m overthinking it because this genuinely tasted like a strawberry shortcake. The syrupy pieces of real strawberry blended in popped, and that strong unexplainable angel’s food cake flavor powder tasted real to me.

So, I guess this is simply crushed ice, strawberry, cake flavor swirls, and vanilla ice cream. Let’s go with that. Hey, it works. It reminded me a lot of Little Debbie’s Strawberry Shortcake Rolls, which recently got an ice cream spinoff, so I definitely need to try that.

Even without real cake, I’d recommend this. I’d also recommend just dumping it in a bowl and eating it like ice cream if you can. Half the float is too thick for a straw, and I didn’t think mine was layered all that well. You could even toss some actual cake in the bowl, like Sonic should have.

Oh, and a small one is plenty. You’ll be more than satisfied unless you were really hoping for cake pieces. Ok, that’s enough of that.

Sonic sells Strawberry Shortcake Snowball Slush Floats. Got it.

Purchased Price: $2.79
Size: Small
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 280 calories, 9 grams of fat, 5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 30 milligrams of cholesterol, 105 milligrams of sodium, 48 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 41 grams of sugar, and 3 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Burger King Spider-Verse Whopper

Vin 3 Comments

Burger King, Burger King
Get a load of this burger thing,
Crimson bun, Whopper-sized,
Order with a side of fries,

Look out!
Here’s the… New “Spider-verse” Whopper.

Yeah, that ended with a whimper. Sorry, the lyrics aren’t as clever as BK’s current theme song, WHOPPER, WHOPPER, WHOPPER, WHOPPER, WHOPPER *repeat x10*

Before I review Burger King’s new “Spider-verse” Whopper, I just wanna give my quick review of 2018’s “Spider-man: Into the Spider-verse.” 10 out of 10. Certified banger. Best Spider-man movie ever made. No notes. If you haven’t seen it, find whoever is streaming it, and fire it up.

While you’re at it, flame broil up Burger King’s new “Spider-verse” Whopper, a burger that somehow almost lived up to the hype of the movie.

I say “somehow” because, in reality, there isn’t much difference from a tried-and-true Whopper here, but that’s the thing, reality is only a perception. This is a multiverse Whopper.

The obvious eye-catching draw of this burger is the beet-dyed red bun. As far as “photo versus expectations” goes, I gotta say, the real thing ended up looking way better than my Spidey sense thought it would. It tastes like a normal bun, but I swear it was a bit more “toothsome.” Perhaps mine was just mildly stale, like the current Marvel Cinematic Universe. (Sony paid me to say that.)

The other key difference from a standard Whopper is that American cheese is swapped out for melty Swiss. Why? I pondered that myself. Is Miles Morales a big fan of Swiss cheese? Is there a Swiss Spiderman out there in the Spider-verse? The only logical explanation I could come up with is that Swiss cheese famously has holes and the Spidey supervillain The Spot has a key role in the new Spider-verse sequel. I think I cracked the case. (Trypophobics need not Google “The Spot.”)

Anyway, I actually think the Swiss compliments the burger really well. It gave it a milder and slightly saltier taste than the usual Kraft single-esque piece of rubber.

It’s been a long time since I’ve sat down and eaten a Whopper AT the home of said Whopper, and I enjoyed it thoroughly.

I do have one minor complaint though. Why did Burger King just stop at a red bun? It has dabbled with flavored buns and hot sauces in the past. I think this bun should have had a *THWIP!* of heat, or there should have been a sauce component. They could have called it “Radioactive Spider-bite Sauce” or something. Then again, maybe it’s best to limit the number of spider references. Some people might think they’re eating bugs.

Either way, I love the movie, I really liked this burger, and I can’t wait to watch the sequel next week. You have until June 11th to try the burger. After that, it’ll be gone like Uncle Ben – the rice guy and Peter Parker’s dearly departed guardian.

Oh, there are also cool little Miles Morales-themed Burger King crowns. I won’t lie; I snagged one. Two. I snagged two. I’m giving one away, I swear.

This was fun. Maybe next time BK can do a Venom-themed burger with black buns and … oh wait, no! No, they can’t do that again, lest they want everyone to expel their own symbiote.

Ok, on that gross note, I’m gonna websling outta here. Try the burger!

Purchased Price: $5.00 (Special Monday only price in the App – a steep $8.19 otherwise)
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 795 calories, 54 grams of fat, 14 grams of saturated fat, 2 grams of trans fat, 115 milligrams of cholesterol, 1700 milligrams of sodium, 56 grams of carbohydrates, 5 grams of fiber, 12 grams of sugar, and 38 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Lay’s Wavy Cuban Sandwich Potato Chips

Vin 3 Comments

Lay’s Wavy Cuban Sandwich chips went down so easily that I’m already thinking about Havana-nother bag.

Let’s just go ahead and move on from the pun, ok? We all see it. It’s not going anywhere. Havana, like the capital of Cuba. Real clever, bro. It is what it is, and I’m not gonna apologize. Anyway…

Cuban sandwiches! We like those, don’t we folks?

Lay’s has been putting out sandwich-based chips for years and even dropped some limited edition city-inspired flavors, so how did it take this long to get to the delicious Miami-born Cuban sandwich?

I can’t believe this wasn’t a “Do Us a Flavor” winner at some point, and we’re just now finally getting it. It has to be worth the wait, right?

Well, I’m Havana hard time trying to decide.

Ok, I apologize for that one.

Right outta the bag, the chips smelled familiar, giving off Cheddar and Sour Cream vibes, so I instantly expected the cheese to dominate. Once I chomped down, I realized it was a soft cheesiness that I just kinda accepted as Swiss. Don’t get me wrong, it was a nice mild flavor, but without previous knowledge, I’m not sure I would have pinpointed that cheese specifically. Swiss is obviously a milder cheese, but I wish it popped more.

I was a little surprised at just how mellow the overall flavor was until I got hints of mustard and pickle that ended up being my favorite pieces of the puzzle that is this chip.

Like the cheese, I wasn’t overwhelmed by the protein element. At first, it just tasted like some kind of vague spiced meat, but it slowly transformed into a pretty impressive hammy pork flavor. At that point, I realized how complex these chips actually were. They somehow managed to sneak in subtle flavors of both pork roast and ham without them canceling each other out.

You really get each individual Cuban sandwich ingredient to the point that I think these might be one of the most successful Lay’s flavor reproductions I can recall… yet I still wished there was MORE flavor.

They have a sensation that makes it seem like they’re ready to get spicy at any second, but the heat never comes. They’re mild but on the verge of bursting with flavors. It’s hard to explain. I left wishing each chip had about 20% more of a dusting. These were so close to perfection, but they needed to be ramped up to “Cubano Xtreme” or something. They’re layered and impressive but ultimately unfulfilling.

I give Lay’s props for deciding to make these Wavy though. I think it’s the perfect level of crunch for the flavor, and the grooves give a great little nod to the panini press grill marks of the real thing. Regular chips would have been too boring, and I think the flavor balance would’ve gotten thrown out of whack on a greasy kettle chip.

So, while these let me down ever so slightly, I guess I’m still satisfied. I wish they were caked in seasoning like Doritos. What can I say?

If you think I’m gonna close with that pun again, you have another thing comin’.

Purchased Price: $3.68
Size: 7.5 oz.
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (13 Chips) 160 calories, 10 grams of fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 mg of cholesterol, 140 milligrams of sodium, 15 grams of total carbohydrates, 1 gram of total sugars, 1 gram of fiber, 2 grams of protein.