Author: Vin

REVIEW: Spicy Queso Funyuns

Vin 6 Comments

I once played this video game… I don’t remember the exact name, but the object was to find as many golden rings as possible.

This furry blue dude ran around collecting them so that he could eventually buy his freedom from a mad scientist shaped like an egg. His name was “Static” or something. I think it was based on a true story.

Anyway, those golden rings always reminded me of Funyuns. Why? I don’t know. This is clearly a fake story, so just go with it. I mean, come on, who’s never heard of Sarnac the Muskrat?

I’ll say this: if ol’ Sarnac had to collect Spicy Queso Funyuns, he’d probably just end up keeping them all for himself and dealing with the consequences.

Yeah, those exist. In a rare move, Frito Lay has let Funyuns branch out with a new Spicy Queso flavor.

I needed a little ring redemption after my last review of Snyder’s Oktoberfest Rings, and while I liked these a lot, I gotta let you know the bad before the good – they don’t really taste like Funyuns.

I believe they set out to add a cheese flavor to the iconic flavor, but the onion essence basically gets spiced out. It’s a bit of a bummer, but I suggest approaching these as Funyuns in shape and texture form only. If you’re familiar with Frito Lay’s queso dip, I think these actually tasted like it in crisp form, so there’s some good brand synergy there.

As I crunched on, I started getting flavor vibes of two other snacks – Andy Capp’s Hot Fries and the recent Chili Cheese Doritos 3D’s. If you know Hot Fries, the heat level is slightly below those, but they have very similar textures. The lingering level of spice and cheesiness reminded me of 3Ds, although those leaned more towards a “beefy” chili flavor, so just imagine a Funyun ring that tastes like a spicy cheddar with a pinch of jalapeño. I’ve never tried Flamin’ Hot Funyuns, but I suspect those are slightly hotter overall.

As far as the crunch goes, I was pleasantly surprised. I’ve compared Funyuns to Cap’n’ Crunch in the past because they usually tear my palate up. Thankfully, that didn’t happen here because the usual mouth shred paired with a spicy flavor probably would’ve destroyed my tastebuds.

Overall, these are very solid, but I was completely satisfied with a small bag. The flavor is nice, but I wish the typical Funyun flavor was ramped up. I’ve never dipped an onion ring in queso, so who knows, these could be 100% accurate. They’re not an improvement on the originals but a strong spinoff. As far as ring-based snack reviews go, I’m batting .500.

Maybe this will lead to further expansions of the Funyuns brand. Trader Joe’s used to make a Sweet Onion-flavored Funyun knockoff that was elite, and I’d love to see Frito-Lay try that next.

Here’s hoping my next review isn’t ring-based because I don’t feel like doing a bit about watching that one horror movie. It was about a ghost mime coming out of a videotape or something. I think it’s based on a true story.

Purchased Price: $2.49
Size: 2 1/8 oz bag
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (about 13 pieces) 140 calories, 6 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 160 milligrams of sodium, 19 grams of total carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of total sugars, less than 1 gram of fiber, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Snyder’s of Hanover Limited Edition Oktoberfest Rings

Vin 15 Comments

I once watched this movie… I don’t remember the exact name, but it was about a ring.

These two small dudes and a schizophrenic frog-man were climbing a mountain, and then they had to throw their wedding ring into a volcano or else some fire wizard would blow up New Zealand or something? I think it was a true story.

Anyway, until today, I thought THAT ring was the worst, most evil ring to ever exist. Then… I tried Snyder’s new Oktoberfest Rings infused with Beer Flavor, and now I’m not so sure.

I reviewed Snyder’s Beer Cheese Pieces in the past and loved them, so while I assumed these cheese-less pretzels wouldn’t stack up, I was still shocked how much I disliked these.

First of all, they’re barely pretzels. These are glorified bread sticks curved into a circle.

They went light on the salt crystals here, and I can only imagine it was in an attempt to let the beer flavor shine, but that “beer” flavor is as dull as dull can be. I’ll give them a tiny bit of credit because I did taste the essence of a sweet lager, or more likely an Oktoberfest-appropriate Marzin-style beer, but it quickly changes as you munch down on the pretzel.

All I could taste after that was, and this is oddly specific, black olive. These taste like someone soaked a breadstick in the water from a can of black olives and then let the breadstick air dry and crisp back up for a few hours. They’re not stale, but the flavor just has an air of staleness to it, like old bread.

I once had “healthy” pretzel twists. They were whole wheat, low sodium, and gluten free, and were one of the biggest buzzkill snacks I’ve ever had. I thought of them immediately while eating these.

I’ll be fair and say that while I sound like a hater, I did eat about 20 in one sitting. I craved something crunchy, but I never shook that weird hint of black olive. I kept thinking the next one would taste better, and it never did. I also never found the crunch all that satisfying.

Look, I love olives, and come to think of it, I’d probably really enjoy a full-blown olive-flavored crunchy snack, but this beer-infused flavor just really didn’t do it for me.

I might as well say I think rings might be the worst pretzel shape while I’m at it. Just give me the classic pretzel knot. I didn’t like a single aspect of these other than the bag with that classic blue Oktoberfest checkerboard pattern.

I wouldn’t even serve these to a frog-man. The shape of the pretzel almost represented my score. You’d be hard-pressed to find a worse bag of pretzels in the aisle. Snyder’s has rows of amazing pretzels, so just get one of them instead. This was a slip-up for the company, but I guess it tried.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m hitting up Google Maps to find the nearest volcano in my area.

Prost!

Purchased Price: $3.99
Size: 10 oz.
Purchased at: Shop Rite
Rating: 2 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1oz – 10 pretzels) 110 calories, 2 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 250 milligrams of sodium, 21 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, less than 1 gram of sugar, and 3 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Starbucks Summer Remix Iced Chai Tea Latte with Matcha Cream Cold Foam

Vin 4 Comments

I’ve been having a rough go with the Starbucks app lately. It’s completely my fault, but I just can’t seem to grasp its payment options. It’s like my brain resets after every order I successfully get through. I had a few bucks left on a gift card, and while ordering a cold brew, I somehow managed to refill said gift card with $50. I should know how to use the app by now, but I always seem to mess this up.

Long story short, I had to go back and forth with Starbucks customer service to get my money back, but every single time I opened the app to check if my balance was clear, I noticed something – the new “Summer Remix” *insert air horn blast here* Iced Chai Tea Latte with Matcha Cream Cold Foam.

While the fact it was an “app exclusive” was a little daunting to me, an apparently 97-year-old tech-challenged man, I knew I had to try that two-toned beauty, even if it meant yet again messing up the payment.

I’m not exactly a stranger to chai, but I’ve somehow never gotten it from Starbucks. If I’m there, I want coffee. That being said, I might start getting chai, because man, this latte hit the spot. You might tell me your local coffee spot does chai better, but I really liked how smooth and sweet Starbucks made it. Actually, if I’m being honest, it may have been a tad too sweet, but it worked because of the nice nutty, not quite gingery, almost nutmeg heavy eggnog-like flavor to it.

That alone would have been just fine, but the matcha cold foam is what sets this apart. I really like matcha, but sometimes I think it tastes like straight-up dirt. This did not taste like dirt. I don’t know if matcha cream cold foam has always been around at Starbucks, but it was a revelation to me. It was as if they took some green tea ice cream and threw it in a milk frother.

The texture was as good as any whipped cream I can recall having in a long time, and it added a nice little green tea offset to the black tea chai. It was the best of both worlds. Also, unlike Dunkin’s cold foam, this matcha fluff had legs. It lasted the entire length of the drink. I was able to take a sip, then lift the straw and get a hit of foam every time. That’s unprecedented. If this was sold in cans, I’d stay stocked up and probably take a few rips a day from the nozzle.

I loved it, and kept coming back to thinking that the whole thing tasted like a light eggnog-based latte, while somehow not making me think of winter. Does that make sense? It’s as if they translated eggnog into a cool summer drink.

I’m a big fan. It’s pretty expensive even for Starbucks, so maybe I shoulda just let the $50 ride, because I can definitely see myself getting this latte a few more times before the summer is out.

Purchased Price: $4.95 + 1.25 for the foam. (She had to ring it up separately b/c as mentioned, I’m bad with the app)
Size: Small
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: Not available due to this being an existing drink with customizations.

REVIEW: Taco Bell Shredded Beef Grilled Cheese Dipping Taco

Vin 18 Comments

Have you heard about this new lawsuit against Taco Bell?

Some dude is suing the company because he says it deceives customers, stating the product is nothing like the advertising. I just wanna go on record right now that I am NOT the dude suing Taco Bell… despite the photos that will follow.

Look, I adore Taco Bell. When I wake up in the morning, my first thought is, “¡Yo quiero Taco Bell,” so I was obviously gonna try its new birria-inspired Shredded Beef Grilled Cheese Dipping Taco no matter what.

On the surface, the SBGCDT sounds great – a hard-shelled taco with a three-cheese blend of cheddar, mozzarella, and pepper jack baked on the outside. Inside you get braised shredded beef, a creamy jalapeño sauce, and more cheese for good measure. And if that’s not enough, it comes with two dipping sauces — nacho cheese and “red sauce.” How could you go wrong?

Well, I won’t mince words; my taco was an absolute crime scene. It was the messiest thing I’ve ever had at Taco Bell, and I’ve eaten the horrendously overrated Mexican Pizza.

There was only cheese on one side of the shell, and about five tacos worth of sauce blasted inside, which completely ruined the integrity of the entire thing. For something called a “dipping taco,” I had a really hard time picking it up, let alone dipping it.

I’m not one to complain (lol), and the (very nice) employees had a lunch rush to deal with, so I just soldiered on. I figured it looks bad, but I bet it still tastes good… and ya know what? It did, for the most part. You can literally see the lowlights, so I’ll focus on the highlights.

The birria-style shredded beef was excellent. It was seasoned well, super tender, and not even a little bit stringy. If it becomes a menu staple, I’m customizing all my meals going forward with shredded beef. The half-cheesed shell was limp, but I dig the general idea. It’s like a Cheesy Gordita Crunch without the outer soft tortilla.

There’s an epidemic in our society with over-saucing everything, and this jalapeño cream sauce went way beyond that. While it has a nice, slightly spicy kick, it needed to just be a dollop. Better yet, it should have been the dipper in place of nacho cheese, which is completely redundant.

The red sauce is really just a vague taco sauce, but I liked the consistency, which was similar to a thin spiced-up tomato bisque. It was actually a good “dip.”

I’m a little baffled by the concept in the sense that even if mine was clean and compact, it’s just a taco. That doesn’t seem like the right delivery system for a “dipper.” I get dipping taquitos, but an entire taco?

Assuming I got a properly constructed taco, I’d still toss this overall concept in the upper “mid” category. The grilled cheese taco shell and the pulled beef were both winning ideas. This isn’t the first time Taco Bell has done either of those things, but it should become a standard… just take it easy with the sauce.

I decided to rate this on taste and ignore the presentation. It was an absolute disaster to look at and a huge pain to eat, but I’d still rank it a “Hot” on the Taco Bell sauce chart. Sue me.

Purchased Price: $3.99
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 300 calories, 19 grams of fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 40 milligrams of cholesterol, 580 milligrams of sodium, 20 grams of carbohydrates, 4 grams of fiber, 1 gram of sugar, and 13 grams of protein.

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REVIEW: Sonic Aloha Tropical Colada Slush

Vin 3 Comments

I’ve been on a slush kick since Free Slurpee Day at 7-Eleven.

It was the first slush-style drink I’d had in what felt like years, and something inside of me reawakened. I made up for that lost time in rapid fashion. Wawa hit me with a surprise free ICEE reward, which I immediately cashed in on. I had a few unearned pina coladas, grabbed a slushie with an otherwise gross McDonald’s dinner, and I’ve gone back to 7-Eleven two times since. Needless to say, I’ve been overdoing it.

In my defense, it’s basically the hottest summer ever, but I do need to nip this in the bud now before it gets out of hand. I don’t wanna get addicted to these sugar bombs, so here I am, vowing to return to a slush-less life… as soon as I try Sonic’s new Tropical Colada Slush.

What you’re looking at here is basically a pina colada sans rum – Sonic’s version of a mocktail.

Pineapple, coconut, and banana are arguably my three favorite fruits, and as far as I’m concerned, three flavors that usually blend together perfectly. Usually.

A pina colada with the added banana flavor sounds incredible, but something here just didn’t jive. The Tropical Colada Slush is good, but I really wanted it to be amazing.

This is very pineapple-forward. It dominates the flavor, especially for the first few sips, which I think gave me a brain freeze in world record timing. The Guinness Book later confirmed my claim, but bluntly stated, “No one cares, bro.”

After a few sips, I started to notice a little banana peeking through, which mellowed the sharper pineapple flavor. The real surprise of this slush was how lowkey the coconut was. I don’t like when coconut is so strong you think you’re drinking suntan lotion, but I needed the flavor ramped up about 60% here.

Ultimately it was refreshing, but the recipe needs a tweak. I love Sonic ice, which is closer to a Slush Puppy than a Slurpee, but with this flavor profile, I think I would have preferred the fluffier 7-Eleven style. This thing is dense.

I’m a bit bummed overall for the lack of coconut, but mostly for how soft the banana flavor was. It’s so rare to get something like this with banana. I almost wish I could’ve tried it without the pineapple entirely. Still, I think this scratched my banana itch —- and yes, that does sound awful. I apologize for writing those words.

I wanted this to be the best slush I’ve ever had. Instead, it was only okay. It hit the spot on another 95-degree day at least.

I’d recommend asking for an extra shot of banana if possible. I noticed you could add a shot of blue coconut syrup, which might also be a good idea to counteract the pineapple. As an added bonus, it’ll probably make the slush a satisfying sky-blue color instead of the nondescript off-white.

I’d say give this a try, but go during happy hour and get it for half price. Just be careful, though, because slush drinks can be very addictive.

Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: Medium
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 270 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 45 milligrams of sodium, 73 grams of carbohydrates, 72 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.