Category: Reviews

REVIEW: Sonic Frychos

Vin 3 Comments

Sonic Frychos 1

Am I the only person who has never gotten fries at Sonic?

The fast food chain just has way too many unique things on its menu. I never have any desire to hit an old reliable. I don’t want a burger and fries at Sonic. I want a corndog and tots. I want a chili burrito and whatever “fried vegetable” du jour it’s pumping out as a limited side dish. Sonic would have to do something big with its fries to get me to order them.

What’s that, you say? Nachos with fries instead of tortilla chips?

That does sound distinctly Sonic. I guess it’s time to try Sonic fries.

Sonic’s new “Frychos” consist of fries, creamy cheese sauce, bacon pieces, diced onions, spicy jalapenos, and a zesty “baja” sauce all piled together in a stupidly named hill of slop.

Ok, that’s a little rough, but I don’t like the name. It’s a play on its “Totchos,” which is a good name, and I don’t have any better suggestions, but when it comes to “Frychos,” I think they chos wrong.

I like to think the old Sonic guys would have made that line work, but they got replaced by random people who pale in comparison, so we’ll never know.

But I digest…

As you might expect, nachos with fries substituted for chips would be pretty hard to screw up, but Sonic did try. While I found the overall flavors mostly worked well together, there were some major flaws.

I expected the fries to be instantly soggy despite being told they were “crispy,” and I was right. They essentially just mashed together into a giant fry ball and made it difficult to eat, even with a fork.

Sonic Frychos Fork

I’m of the opinion that jalapenos enhance almost everything, but I think they completely swallowed up whatever flavor “baja sauce” is supposed to be. I loved the heat and crunch they brought, but at no point did I notice any “baja” bite. If anything, that just got blended into the cheese, which was nice despite not really being nacho flavored.

The onions didn’t need to be there. You’re already getting a little veggie crisp from the peppers, and their flavor was also lost completely.

Sonic Frychos Bacon

The bacon pieces were definitely the main attraction. Midway through, I realized that nachos without crispy chips don’t work nearly as well, but the bacon pieces were so crispy that they almost made up for it.

Overall, I’d say Frychos are ok. Not bad. They never screamed “Nachos!” They just tasted more like a decorated side of sweaty cheese fries, and unfortunately, I still don’t actually have a good gauge on the flavor and texture of a Sonic fry.

Sonic Frychos Fries

Frychos are only available through the app, so I’d recommend tinkering with the ingredients. Go light on the sauce, and ax the onions. You can even add chili if you’re feeling frisky.

If you end up grabbing these, stop there because this is a hefty, substantial meal on its own. Also, literally stop there and eat in one of the designated parking spaces because I don’t think these would survive the drive home without turning into a congealed wad of regret.

Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: N/A
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: Not available on site.

REVIEW: Blue Bell Oatmeal Cream Pie Ice Cream

Denis 7 Comments

Blue Bell Oatmeal Cream Pie Ice Cream Pint

What is it?

The Blue Bell website describes this new Oatmeal Cream Pie flavor in great detail, and since I assume many meetings and memos produced the synopsis, I’m just going to copy it: “A delicious oatmeal flavored ice cream with hints of brown sugar mixed with soft oatmeal cookies and a vanilla icing swirl.”

How is it?

Blue Bell Oatmeal Cream Pie Ice Cream Top

Is this delicious, as the Blue Bell website promised? Well, almost. Let’s start with the “oatmeal flavored ice cream.” I’m not even sure oatmeal has a flavor, and that’s why you add cinnamon, sugar, fruit, or if you have the imagination of a 5-year-old like I do, gummy bears to your oatmeal. If I did a blind tasting of this ice cream, I’m not sure I would have pegged it as oatmeal flavored, and even with the power of suggestion, I didn’t really get an oatmeal vibe. The “hints of brown sugar” was also a bit of a miss, as it took my complete concentration to just sorta, kinda maybe think I tasted a little bit of brown sugar.

Blue Bell Oatmeal Cream Pie Ice Cream Spoon Cookie

Things do improve substantially for the second half of the description. The oatmeal cookies are indeed soft, as well as pleasantly chewy, and generously mixed throughout the ice cream. There are some good-sized chunks in here. The vanilla icing brings a nice sweetness to the mix with a bit of a different texture that I did like. While this flavor as a complete package doesn’t quite live up to its billing, it’s still pretty tasty.

Anything else you need to know?

Doing these reviews has allowed me to compile plenty of knowledge that, while interesting, is totally useless for any other purpose except for filling space in said reviews. Since the Little Debbie brand is synonymous with oatmeal creme (not cream) pies, it got me wondering if Little Debbie is a real person. It turns out she is, and Debbie McKee-Fowler is no longer little and is now the executive vice president of McKee Foods, which owns Little Debbie. If I ever get on Jeopardy! then maybe that knowledge will pay off, but if not, I’ve just cluttered up my brain – and now yours – with information none of us will ever need.

Conclusion:

Blue Bell Oatmeal Cream Pie Ice Cream Spoon Base

This flavor to me is like a band that I wouldn’t pay full price to see because I only like some of their songs. If a friend has a free ticket or I see a discounted Groupon deal, then I’ll probably go, but I wouldn’t have the urge to go out and find tickets myself. I’m going to finish this pint and enjoy it, but next time I’m at the store, I’ll probably buy a different flavor.

Purchased Price: $3.29
Size: One Pint
Purchased at: H-E-B
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2/3 cup) 260 calories, 13 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 25 milligrams of cholesterol, 110 milligrams of sodium, 33 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 25 grams of sugar, and 5 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Kellogg’s Eggo Froot Loops Waffles (2022)

Brandon 3 Comments

Kellogg s Eggo Froot Loops Waffles Box

What is it?

We’ve known for some time that Froot Loops is discontent with their lot in life. Dissatisfied for years now with their small corner on the grocery store shelf, nestled between the Honey Smacks and the Apple Jacks, they’ve been throwing themselves around like some rummed-up pirate on shore leave.

They were gummies for a spell after they were Pop-Tarts; they’ve been made into bars and straws. They were Easter Peeps once, and who could forget the time they became donuts from Carl’s Jr.? Well, now they’ve made their way into Eggo waffles. (Well, again. The first time was in 2003. Given the shared parentage, maybe it’s surprising it’s not a standard offering.)

How is it?

Kellogg s Eggo Froot Loops Waffles Plated

It’s exactly as you imagine: mostly run-of-the-mill Eggo waffles, but every so often, you get an aggressively sweet bit of Froot Loops cereal. There was no discernible textural difference between the regular waffle and the cereal piece, but I could see them, and I sure as hell could taste them.

I tried them plain and then in a universally standard waffle format — i.e. with butter and syrup — and it is worth noting that, while the Froot Loops taste is powerful on the naked waffle, when gussied up, it loses 95% of its impact. With butter and syrup, you’re just eating a normal waffle that gets weirdly chemical-tasting at the end.

Kellogg s Eggo Froot Loops Waffles Closeup

Anything else you need to know?

These weren’t bad; I don’t want anyone to think that. I’m just not sure under what circumstance they get eaten. Most people eat waffles with toppings, yeah? And if you’re topping these things, there’s no point in having them be Froot Loops waffles. It’s a real Catch Twenty-Toucan Sam. (Oh wow, I am so sorry about that. It just slipped out.)

Conclusion:

Froot Loops should work on their self-esteem and realize that, as the world’s preeminent artificially fruit-flavored, ring-shaped cereal, they are good enough, they make us proud, and all we want is for them to be happy with who they are.

Purchased Price: $2.69
Size: 12.3 oz/10 waffles
Purchased at: Sun Fresh
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2 waffles) 190 calories, 6 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 370 milligrams of sodium, 30 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 7 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Fanta What The Fanta Mystery Flavor

Jenna 26 Comments

Fanta What The Fanta Mystery Flavor Bottle

I should start off by explaining/apologizing for how, when I recently finished a thriller whose twist ending blew my mind, I was quickly informed by online reviews that I was the only person in the world who hadn’t seen it coming by the third page. Please bear that in mind when I tell you that I had no idea what to make of my first sip of Fanta’s What The Fanta Mystery Flavor. It smelled like Marshmallow Fruity Pebbles, looked like dishwasher detergent, and tasted like a sudden inability to remember a single other flavor to which I could compare it.

After a few addled attempts, I realized that it reminded me of Fresca, the zero-calorie drink known to me throughout my childhood as equally for its sparklingly synthetic taste as for its inexplicable presence at every gathering my dad’s side of the family ever held. Fresca was grapefruit-flavored, but I don’t think the same can be said of this blue beauty. I don’t drink much sugar-free soda, so that was just one of my few frames of reference for the bright, biting, and ever-so-uncannily artificial flavor that overwhelmed any other tastes I might detect here.

Still, “fruit of some sort” seemed like a promising start, and I kicked into detective mode to find more leads.

My first clue was a message on the bottle that read, appropriately, “Find Clues: #WhatTheFanta.” Attempting to follow those directions immediately led to me drowning in a sea of disgruntled Twitter users comparing this soda’s taste, with varying degrees of tact, to a rear end. (Fortunately, another recurring guess was the way more helpful — not to mention plausible — “orange creamsicle”).

Eventually, I made my way to Fanta.com, an oasis of information where, for the price of my email address and birthday, I was granted access to a secret world by way of QR code.

Spoilers ahead!

Fanta What The Fanta Mystery Flavor Glass

The QR code transports you to a mysterious website where you’re greeted by an array of images: first, there is just an innocuous blue Fanta bottle, which quickly reconfigures itself into an ice cream truck, a weird bluish blob that I initially parsed as an octopus but eventually realized was probably meant to be a stylized scoop of ice cream, an ice cream cone (okay, I thought I got it!!!), an ear of corn (never mind, I was confused again!!!), a carrot, a traffic cone, and finally some sort of reddish donkey-thing.

The three pieces of ice cream imagery and the two iconically orange items lend a lot of credence to the orange creamsicle theory, but I must admit I still have no idea how the corn or donkey play into it. I guess if the cerulean color for an ostensibly orange flavor is any indication, Fanta isn’t above throwing in a few red (or blue) herrings (or donkeys).

So, that’s the mystery of the flavor resolved (probably). What about the resolution of this review? Unfortunately, the tinny tang that comes along with the “zero sugar” label meant that I regrettably found the QR code caper more compelling than the actual beverage that inspired it. Drink this if you’re thirsty for a good case to crack, but perhaps not if you’re thirsty for a good soda.

Update: We also tried the Burger King Frozen What The Fanta! Click here to read our review.

Purchased Price: $2.19
Size: 20 oz
Purchased at: Wawa
Rating: 4 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 bottle) 0 calories, 0 grams of fat, 65 milligrams of sodium, 0 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.