Category: Spotted on Shelves

Like a Jonas brother wearing a purity ring, the new DASANI essence bottled water doesn’t go all the way. It only has a touch of fruit flavor and it accomplishes this without sweeteners, preservatives or calories. It’s the equivalent of just making out in the back seat of a Trans Am. The DASANI essence (yes, that’s how it’s spelled) is similar to the Hint Water we reviewed years ago.

Some of you might be thinking DASANI already has fruit flavored water, and you would be right, but that line of bottled water has a level of flavor that is equivalent to getting to third base in the back seat of a station wagon.

The DASANI essence comes in three flavors: black cherry, strawberry kiwi and lime. It’s being sold in 18.5-ounce bottles or 16-ounce bottles in a 4-pack.

An 8-ounce serving contains 0 calories, 0 grams of fat, 25 milligrams of sodium, 0 grams of carbohydrates and 0 grams of protein.

No matter how cool the limited edition subway series cans that contain the Arizona All City NRG look, I can’t help but feel some trepidation about them. Not only do they bring back the upsetting memories I have of airbrushed clothing, they also make me feel like I’m in the wrong part of town and I better get the hell out. I’ve watched enough Law & Order to know where the wrong part of town is.

The energy drink has a pomegranate flavor and is non-carbonated. According to Arizona Beverage Company, “Going ‘All City’ means going all out” and the All City NRG has enough caffeine, taurine and guarana to give you the energy to run away from the popo after they catch you tagging a wall or their police car. An 8-ounce serving contains 150 milligrams of caffeine, 100 milligrams of guarana and 1000 milligrams of taurine.

The Arizona All City NRG comes in 16-ounce cans and an 8-ounce serving contains 100 calories, 0 grams of saturated fat, 10 milligrams of sodium, 28 grams of carbohydrates, 27 grams of sugar, 50% vitamin C, 100% vitamin B6, 100% vitamin B12 and 100% pantothenic acid.

I’m feeling much better about my attempts to thwart aliens from reading my mind, prevent cell phone waves from reaching my brain and to prohibit Martha Stewart from brainwashing me through the picture radio, thanks to the new Reynolds Wrap Foil from 100% Recycled Aluminum. Now I can use an entire roll of it to make a foil hat and not feel bad when I have to make a new one the next day since the power of the foil hat lasts only 24 hours.

It’s made from post-consumer and post-industrial aluminum, which may include: scraps from industrial cable, automobile components, cookware, gutters, siding, and stadium seats. So perhaps, if you’re lucky, sometime next year you might have a small part of Yankee Stadium or, if you’re unlucky, you might get a little bit of Shea Stadium this year. The Reynolds Wrap Foil from 100% Recycled Aluminum is as clean and safe to use with food as regular Reynolds Wrap Foil made from virgin aluminum.

Even the packaging is made from recycled and eco-friendly materials. It’s available in 50-square-foot rolls in standard strength and 35-square-foot rolls in heavy duty strength, which is the strength of choice for those looking to prevent aliens from reading your mind.

Hot off the heels of their Death Valley Chipotle Potato Chips, Kettle Brand recently introduced their Jalapeno flavored chips, which they describe as, “Striking a perfect balance between fresh, well-rounded flavor and the simple spicy bite of green jalapeno peppers.”

Being a fan of Kettle Brand Potato Chips and jalapenos (I once drank the juice from a jar of pickled jalapenos for two dollars), I’m eager to give these a try. Look for it in grocery and hippie natural food stores nationwide. They will be available in 2 oz., 5 oz., and 9 oz. bags.

A one-ounce serving contains 150 calories, 9 grams of fat, 1 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 1 gram polyunsaturated fat, 7 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 200 milligrams of sodium, 400 milligrams of potassium, 15 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 1 gram of sugar and 2 grams of protein.

The new Star Trek Cereal boldly goes where other cereals that promoted movies with the word “star” in them have gone before.

It’s made up of sweetened oat cereal and marshmallows, which were the same ingredients found in 2005’s Star Wars Cereal. These similarities might lead to a confrontation between Star Wars and Star Trek fanatics about which cereal is better, which would be much like the disagreements those nerds have over which movie franchise is superior.

Oh, I can’t wait for the Force-Fx lightsaber replicas and the plastic phasers set to kill to be drawn at each other. All I would need are some Princess Leias in gold bikinis and a few Lt. Uhuras and it would give me a total nerdgasm that would take weeks to recover from.

A 3/4 cup dry serving of the Star Trek Cereal contains 120 calories, 1 gram of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 220 milligrams of sodium, 55 milligrams of potassium, 26 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 12 grams of sugar, 3 grams of protein and a bunch of vitamins and minerals.