I really wanted to rant about the meaty-oric rise of protein snacks.

I wanted this review to drip with sarcasm and cynicism about brands slapping a measly gram or two of protein into their recipes and deceptively marketing their junk as some kind of quasi-health food.

I wanted to get on my soapbox and give a FED Talk about how we’re all being bamboozled into believing that a little protein turns everything into a “fitness hack,” but then I realized, it would be I who is the hack.

I’m not anti-tein, I’m pro-tein!

(Please remind me to never say that out loud.)

I feel like we’re close to reaching a tipping point. Maybe it’s just me, but my algorithm has been taken over by influencers screaming at me to add more protein to my diet. Big Protein is locked in on me. It’s stressing me out… and when I’m stressed, I gorge on snacks… snacks like new Doritos Protein!

Who’s ready to get yoked on nacho cheese dust?!

Protein chips aren’t an untapped market, but they’re still fairly new. I like Quest Tortilla Chips, but of the maybe ten flavors I’ve tried, I’d probably only recommend about three.

It shouldn’t shock you to learn that Doritos probably just released the best tasting protein chip. However, if you’re expecting a classic Dorito, I’d temper my excitement a bit.

A serving is ten chips and ten grams of protein, which really isn’t terrible. It’s not Quest-level, but it’s more than a lot of cash grab “PROTEIN” boasting snack releases from legacy brands.

They’re made with casein protein, which is derived from milk. I know what you’re thinking, “No whey!?” Way, it’s casein. Not a bad protein source.

You’re getting eight more grams of protein and nine fewer carbs per serving of these versus regular Doritos. That’s good! If you’re expecting gainz, you’ll get ‘em, but only in the bad way you’d get said gainz with regular Doritos, because everything else is basically the same.

As for the taste, they’re like a solid knockoff of Doritos. The nacho flavor – which they should have called “Macho Cheese,” IMHO (in my hacky opinion) – is close, but you’ll still think you’re eating cheaper alternatives. Something is off, and it’s likely due to the texture.

These are thicker, crunchier, and drier than the regular tortilla chip. They’re like stale, double-fried “restaurant style” Doritos, with a nacho flavor that seems a little spicier because of how dry they make your mouth.

The protein chip textural experience is never a pleasant one. They mash down into a long-lasting, gritty protein paste that turns into cement in your teeth, and I absolutely hate that.

All in all, I guess these are a mild success? We all wanna think we’re living healthier, right? Like me today, I did Bis and Tris! I went to the gym, struggled through a few sets of biceps, and then ate about forty Doritos triangles.

Ya know what, I don’t even know if I recommend these. I didn’t feel particularly satiated. They look like Doritos, smell like Doritos, but in the end, I just yearned for real Doritos. Maybe stick with a small bag of the NKD Doritos and add an extra half scoop of powder to your protein shake.

Purchased Price: $4.47
Size: 7 oz.
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (10 chips) 150 calories, 8 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 150 milligrams of sodium, 8 grams of total carbohydrates, 0 grams of total sugars, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 10 grams of protein.