REVIEW: Limited Edition Filled Cupcake Oreo Cookies

Limited Edition Filled Cupcake Oreo Cookies

The year was 1922 when Sir Leonard Woolley began his excavation of the Mesopotamian city-state of Ur. It was here where he found a pair of dice dating back 4000 years, thus proving that humans have been degenerate gamblers since the ancients.

And it looks like Oreo is here to carry on the gambling legacy.

Indeed, diving headfirst into max-capacity, all-hands-on-deck lunacy, Oreo follows the shadow of its perfect cinnamon bun predecessor with a take on the original Hostess Cupcake, a nostalgic (if sometimes dry) packaged good with a highly specific flavor and repute of great renown.

No matter your thoughts on the Hostess chocolate cupcake itself, there’s no denying its very specific, mildly chocolate-y, super sweet, slightly preservative-twinged taste. To take on such a classic calls only the High Rollers to the gambling halls, but do you hear the wind? That’s the whisper of an Oreo accepting a challenge.

Limited Edition Filled Cupcake Oreo Cookies 2

The chocolate cookies are of the classic disc form, providing the crisp, dark, earthy, almost French-roasted-coffee chocolate flavor that toes the line of sugary charcoal briquettes while still avoiding tasting like you’re gnawing on your grill grates.

The chocolate frosting is dark and sugary as well, but also slightly muted, like dark chocolate that got sent through the car wash. It wants to harken back to Brownie Batter Oreos, but lacks the same fudgy, dark chocolate pudding-like flavor. No biggie, though. It’s really just a protective circumference for the dollop of white frosting in the center.

Hyper-sweet like the classic, yet also gooier that regular Oreo creme, the cookie’s center dab of white floof strikes a special place between Betty Crocker Frosting and Toaster Strudel Decorative Icing. What’s more, its unobstructed sugar balances out the roasted dark chocolate cookie with a texture and flavor that revives the cookie from the dull chocolate frosting, harkening back to the contrasts that gave the original cookie its reputation: the bitter with the sweet. The crunchy with the creamy. The Surrealist experience with the Euclidean Geometry of cookie design. That’s real life mathematics.

For a company that’s constructed its status on how to eat sandwich cookies, these new biscuits present new horizons. Sure, you can still chomp, twist, nibble, and dunk, but you can also eat just the creamy white center separately. You can have the icing all in one go. You can twist and dip your cookie in the white floof like a nacho. You can stack, dissolve, crush, crumble, and cure the common cold. (This statement has not been approved by the FDA.)

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What with their apparent skill at taking gambles, it’s a wonder that Oreo hasn’t launched a car line, lifestyle website, and competitive TV series. While some of Oreo’s efforts have seen immediate demise, this new spin does a moderately good job. The hyper-sweet frosting coupled with the surrounding dark chocolate harkens back to the flavors of its Hostess inspiration. Unfortunately, the humdrum chocolate frosting alongside the notably small number of cookies given in the limited time package mutes the experience a bit.

All in all, though, I can’t be too disappointed: the floof of white crème, crispy cookie, innovative construction, and capacity to be a massive Dunkaroo brings them up past Average to Enjoyable. They’re sugary, slightly chocolate-y, and do a respectable job at mirroring their inspiration. Heck, if you pay close attention, you can even taste the whisper of preservatives at the end. That’s detail.

(Nutrition Facts – 2 cookies – 140 calories, 60 calories from fat, 7 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 95 milligrams of cholesterol, 50 milligrams of sodium, 50 mg of potassium, 20 grams of carbohydrates, Less than 1 gram of dietary fiber, 13 grams of sugar, and Less than 1 gram of protein.)

Item: Limited Edition Filled Cupcake Oreo Cookies
Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: 10.7 oz package
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Crispy chocolate cookie. Floofy, sweet white frosting. Potential to be a massive Dunkaroo. Mimics Hostess Cupcake flavors well. Geometry in real life. Ancient Mesopotamian city-states.
Cons: Not much different than an original Oreo. Chocolate frosting got sent through the car wash. Package is significantly smaller than standard Oreos. Not yet proven to cure the common cold. Lifestyle websites.

REVIEW: Pepperidge Farm Limited Edition Banana Chocolate Milano Cookies

Pepperidge Farm Limited Edition Banana Chocolate Milano Cookies

As I sit here gazing out at mounds of dirty snow piled as far as the eye can see, I dream of a better place.

So disillusioned, I choose to believe a bite into Pepperidge Farm’s new Banana Chocolate Milano cookie will result in a reverse York Peppermint Patty effect and I will be whisked away to beautiful Milan, Italy.

Perhaps one single bite will send me to a tropical island, where I can pluck ripe bananas straight from a tree. We’ll soon find out.

It seems wild to call a cookie that is shelved right next to fish-shaped crackers aimed at children “decadent,” but that’s the word that comes to mind when I think of a Milano.

I’m of the opinion you can’t screw up a Milano. I’ve tried plenty of varieties and liked em all. I’m also a massive banana groupie (that doesn’t sound right) so I have no doubts these would be winners.

Pepperidge Farm Limited Edition Banana Chocolate Milano Cookies 2

I don’t know what it is with Pepperidge Farm’s packaging, but I never seem to open it properly. After tearing the bag to shreds, I was hit with an unmistakable banana scent that perked me up. It reminded me of the smell when you walk into a bakery. I was now ready to be whisked away.

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When I took the first bite into the wafer, nothing happened. The world isn’t fair.

It tasted as if the wafer had a bit of banana flavor baked in. But I couldn’t really tell if it was the banana filling bleeding through. I’m pleading ignorance here. I think it just tasted that way since it’s such an airy wafer. That’s one of the best parts about Milano, the crunchy, but not at all dense cookie.

I put it in my mouth and inhaled it like a total weirdo. Who does that? I essentially tried to smoke a cookie. I can tell you there is a nice banana…um, air when you try to smoke a cookie. Don’t smoke cookies, kids.

It wasn’t until I hit the center that the banana flavor come out in full force.

Pepperidge Farm Limited Edition Banana Chocolate Milano Cookies 3

There’s a thin layer of banana filling with the familiar chocolate layer. It had a similar texture to the chocolate. The bag actually refers to it as “banana flavored chocolate.”

Here’s my question: Where has “banana flavored chocolate” been my entire life? This was a revelation for me. I mean, I’m sure plenty of products have used a similar substance before, but why wasn’t I aware of it? I feel like I’ve missed so much. “Banana flavored chocolate” is awesome. I want more of this banana chocolate concoction in my life.

The banana is strong but not overly so. I think banana bread is very dependent on texture, but these should remind you of that flavor. Few things top a nice fresh slice of banana bread, but these are a great attempt at imitating the flavor in cookie form, with the added bonus of chocolate mixed in.

After the initial tasting, I kept a few aside to have with my morning coffee, and it was naturally a delicious pairing. Banana Chocolate Milano Cookies are a home run. As far as I’m concerned, Pepperidge Farm still hasn’t made a bad Milano.

(Nutrition Facts – 2 cookies – 140 calories, 60 calories from fat, 7 grams of fat, 4 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, less than 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 40 milligrams of sodium, 18 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 10 grams of sugar, and 1 gram of protein.)

Item: Pepperidge Farm Limited Edition Banana Chocolate Milano Cookies
Purchased Price: $3.59
Size: 7 oz. (about 16 cookies)
Purchased at: Stop & Shop
Rating: 9 out of 10
Pros: Banana flavored chocolate. Milano’s consistency. Airy wafer. Great for dipping. No artificial flavors or preservatives. A short reprieve from the winter blues.
Cons: No instant transportation properties in each bite. A rapidly growing cookie smoking habit. Fear of missing out on more banana flavored chocolate treats. Pain in the neck packaging. Limited edition.

REVIEW: Nabisco Cinnamon Bun Oreo Cookies

Nabisco Cinnamon Bun Oreo Cookies

Here’s a fun fact: a Cinnabon Classic Roll has 880 calories, 37 grams of fat, 17 grams of saturated fat, 820 milligrams of sodium, 127 grams of carbohydrates, 58 grams of sugar, and 12 grams of protein.

Here’s another fun fact: the amount trees needed to make the napkins used per year by those eating the messy Cinnabon Classic Roll equals to 197,000,000 square miles of rainforests.

Okay, that last “fun fact” is a complete lie and the entire surface of the Earth is 197,000,000 square miles, but, I swear, I use five or six napkins whenever I eat Cinnabon.

Cinnabon’s huge Classic Rolls are yummy, but they have the nutritional content of a meal and make my hands sticky enough that I wonder if I could climb walls with them. But what if you want cinnamon bun flavor without the huge amount of calories and mess?

Cinnamon Bun Oreo Cookies might work.

Nabisco Cinnamon Bun Oreo Cookies 2

The new variety is the first with a cinnamon flavored cookie, which looks like a Golden Oreo wafer that’s spent some time in a tanning salon. There are red specks baked throughout the cookie, but, even though the sweet spice is listed as an ingredient, I’m not sure if they’re cinnamon, just red specks to give it the appearance of cinnamon, or if my cookies have the measles. Whatever they are, they make the cookie taste similar to Cinnamon Teddy Grahams.

Nabisco Cinnamon Bun Oreo Cookies 3

As for the creme, it looks like plain ol’ Oreo stuff, but softer. So if you’re one of those people who likes to twist off a wafer and lick the creme, it probably won’t come off clean. The creme’s flavor is also a bit like what’s on a plain ol’ Oreo, but lighter, not as sweet, and with maybe a tinge of cinnamon.

When I lick the creme, all I think about are glazed donuts. Mmm…donuts. I was hoping these had the cream cheese-flavored creme found in the Red Velvet Oreo, but the creme is still great.

The cookie as a whole tastes Holy Cow Awesome and I think it does a great job at getting the right balance between cinnamon and frosting. They also smell wonderful. Although if you’re a Cinnabon employee, they probably smell like work.

But if you want to make them slightly more Holy Cow Awesome, heat one up for 10 seconds in the microwave oven. (Hat tip to the anonymous commenter who suggested that.) The creme gets a little gooey and it’s warm like an actual cinnamon bun.

With new Oreo flavors there’s usually a “Limited Edition” printed on the package, but that’s not the case with these. They’re a new regular flavor, like original Oreo, Cool Mint, Peanut Butter, and Birthday Cake, which I’m glad about because I would hate to have to send angry, profanity-filled emails to Nabisco demanding they bring them back if these delicious cookies were limited edition.

I’ve tried two dozen Oreo flavors over the past few years. Most of them are good to great, and a few are mediocre. But none of them are horrible. And none have been unbelievably spectacular…until now.

I think the Cinnamon Bun Oreo stands above all the flavors. Not only does it have the flavor, but just the little things like those red specks in the wafer and the use of softer creme to emulate a cinnamon bun’s frosting make eating the cookie more of an experience. These are my new favorite Oreo cookies and I think you’ll love them too.

(Nutrition Facts – 2 cookies – 150 calories, 60 calories from fat, 7 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 70 milligrams of sodium, 15 milligrams of potassium, 21 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 13 grams of sugar, less than 1 gram of protein.)

Item: Nabisco Cinnamon Bun Oreo Cookies
Purchased Price: $3.50
Size: 12.2 oz.
Purchased at: Times Supermarket
Rating: 10 out of 10
Pros: Unbelievably spectacular. Flavor does remind me of a cinnamon bun. Not a limited edition. Tastes slightly better when warmed up. Red specks in wafer and softer creme are a nice touch.
Cons: The nutritional numbers for a Cinnabon Classic Roll. Softer creme makes it harder to cleanly twist off wafer.

REVIEW: Limited Edition Hot Cocoa Chips Ahoy Cookies

Limited Edition Hot Cocoa Chips Ahoy

Every year Nabisco puts out the same uninspired winter products.

There’s Snowflake Ritz with the image of a snowflake on each cracker. While no two snowflakes are alike, the millions of Snowflake Ritz crackers are. There’s Holiday Wheat Thins, which could’ve been called Snowflake Wheat Thins if not for the other holiday shapes stamped into some of the crackers. Then there’s Winter Oreo Cookies that have a creme that tastes like a regular Oreo, but has enough red food coloring to make a Maraschino cherry think that’s a bit too much food coloring.

This year, Nabisco brought back those boring snacks, but they also introduced the Limited Edition Hot Cocoa Chips Ahoy Cookies.

The chocolate cookie features marshmallow-flavored chips, fudge chips, and a disc of hot cocoa-flavored goodness in the center. If you look at the beautifully Photoshopped cookie on the wrapper, it looks like it’s supposed to have a viscous goo center. Because the packaging says, “Heat for a treat,” I assumed sticking them in a microwave oven would achieve that gooey center. Unfortunately, the appliance has no effect on the center of these cookies.

Despite what Ron Popeil and George Foreman might say, the microwave oven is the greatest kitchen innovation in the past few decades. It’s a powerful radiation pulsing cooking machine that can boil water in under 90 seconds and make a Hot Pocket burst open in two minutes. But it appears the mighty microwave oven has met its match with these cookies.

There are instructions that say to warm them in pairs for 6-7 seconds. I tried that, but the centers remained completely solid. Then I microwaved another two cookies for 8 seconds. No gooey. Then just one at 9 seconds. Nothing. Then another one at 10 seconds. Still solid.

Limited Edition Hot Cocoa Chips Ahoy 3

Since time is endless and the amount of cookies in the packaging are not, I decided to up the intervals. 14 seconds. Nope. 20 seconds. Noooooo. 25 seconds. Noooooooooooo. Then I decided to heat up one for 30 seconds. Only the edges of the chocolate disc in the cookie melted. The rest of it was still solid.

While the chocolatey center didn’t turn into a pool of goo, microwaving beyond the 6-7 seconds did affect the rest of the cookie, making it crumble apart during any attempt to pick it up.

When eaten straight out of the package, these cookies are good. But when heated up, they’re damn good. Both ways have a hot cocoa flavor, but the flavor is amplified when the cookies have spent a few seconds in a microwave oven. I thought the marshmallow flavor was strictly with the white chips, but it tastes like the hot cocoa center also has a bit of marshmallow flavor. When heated up at the recommended time, the exterior of the cookies have a wonderful softness to them, and the center, while not melted, does give easily.

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There have been many new Chips Ahoy varieties over the past two years, but the only ones I’ve truly enjoyed were the Ice Cream Creations Root Beer Float and Limited Edition Chocolate Banana, both of which are no longer available. But I’m happy to say these cookies brought me as much joy as those did. They are wonderful…when warmed up.

Sure, I’m disappointed with the center not being gooey, but they’re tasty enough that I definitely would love to see them next holiday season with the Snowflake Ritz, Holiday Wheat Thins, and Winter Oreo Cookies.

(Nutrition Facts – 2 cookies – 150 calories, 60 calories from fat, 7 grams of fat, 3.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 1 gram of polyunsaturated fat, 2 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 115 milligrams of sodium, 75 milligrams of potassium, 21 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 14 grams of sugar, and 1 gram of protein.)

Item: Limited Edition Hot Cocoa Chips Ahoy Cookies
Purchased Price: $3.50
Size: 10 oz.
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Wonderful flavor. Tastes like hot cocoa. Good when eaten straight from the package, but awesome after being heated up in the microwave. Soft exterior when microwaved. Much more exciting than Snowflake Ritz, Holiday Wheat Thins, and Winter Oreo Cookies.
Cons: Center doesn’t get gooey. Only available for a limited time. Not knowing if they’ll be back next year.

REVIEW: Leaf Hydrox Cookies (2015)

Leaf Hydrox Cookies (2015)

All over the Internet there are posts that lament and list discontinued snacks. Here are two examples:

44 Beloved Snacks You’ll Never Be Able To Eat Again

25 Foods You’ll Never Be Able To Eat Again

There are two issues with these lists. One, several products on them have come back (oops). Two, Hydrox cookies were not on either list. 

There are some of you out there pounding your desks and yelling, “Blasphemy! How dare they forget Hydrox!” But, to be fair, the people who wrote those lists might be too young to remember what Hydrox are.

For those young folks who have written a listicle with an inaccurate title, before Oreo there was Hydrox. They’re both chocolate sandwich cookies, but Hydrox made its debut four year earlier in 1908. Or, if you’re a hardcore Hydrox fan, let me rewrite that to say, Oreo totally ripped off the idea of Hydrox in 1912.

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But Hydrox cookies are back, thanks to Leaf Brands and trademark law. You can listen to all about what happened in this NPR story. But if the soothing voices of NPR personalities make you fall asleep, here’s a short version of what happened. Kellogg’s owned the Hydrox trademark, but admitted they weren’t using it and had no plans to use it. According to trademark law, if that’s the case, someone can swipe up that trademark. And Leaf Brands did that.

Unfortunately, that trademark didn’t come with the Hydrox recipe. So like the Six Million Dollar Man, a reference those listicle writers also won’t get, it had to be rebuilt. So this new version might taste different than the original. But, to be honest, I don’t remember what it tastes like. I believe the lard in the original Oreo cookies I ate as a kid have blocked most of my memories of Hydrox.

Leaf Hydrox Cookies (2015) 3

To be honest, Hydrox and I had a rough first date. I didn’t like them at first. I thought the creme was bland and the wafers had bursts of saltiness. Also, it appeared my package was missing a cookie or two. But then we went on a second date, then a third, and then we were living together because I admitted to Hydrox that I love them. I’m going to chalk up my unfavorable first impressions to my taste buds being so used to Oreo cookies.

They’re less sweet than Oreo. I mean, they’re still sweet, but they demonstrate how hypersweet Oreo cookies are. And that hypersweetness comes from the Oreo creme. The difference between the two cremes are dramatic. The Hydrox creme is mellow like reggae and the Oreo creme is whatever noise kids are listening to these days. Get off my lawn, Oreo! 

The less sweet creme gives Hydrox a better balance with the chocolate wafers. As for the chocolate wafers, I think the Hydrox ones have a darker chocolate flavor and a lighter crunch than Oreo’s. They’re not necessarily better, just different.

But as a whole, I enjoyed Hydrox more than regular Oreo cookies. Their balanced flavor and moderate sweetness remind me a lot of Oreo Thins, which I prefer over regular Oreo cookies. Because with Oreo cookies I can eat two and have no desire to eat more. But with Hydrox and Oreo Thins, I just want to chain eat them.

(Nutrition Facts – 2 cookies – 130 calories, 50 calories from fat, 6 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 130 milligrams of sodium, 19 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 12 grams of sugar, and 1 gram of protein.)

Item: Leaf Hydrox Cookies (2015)
Purchased Price: $6.10
Size: 13 ounces
Purchased at: Amazon
Rating: 9 out of 10
Pros: I want to chain eat them. Not as hypersweet as Oreo cookies. With creme being less sweet there a better balance of flavors between the creme and chocolate wafers. No high fructose corn syrup.
Cons: Not widely available yet (Available on Amazon and a few retailers). Some (or many) eaters might think it tastes bland compared to Oreo. My first impressions. My package looked like it was missing a cookie or two. Pricey if you’re buying it from Amazon.

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