REVIEW: Doritos Ketchup and Doritos Spicy Mustard

Doritos Ketchup and Spicy Mustard Bag

Name a more American flavor combination than ketchup and mustard. I’ll wait.

Doritos boldly shares its take on this iconic combo with its new limited edition Classic Ketchup and Spicy Mustard flavored chips.

To clarify, the ketchup flavor is only new to the United States as our upstairs neighbors in Canada have been noshing on this since 2014. The spicy mustard one is completely new, inspired by Chinese hot mustard.

Before we get into each flavor, I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention that Doritos’ texture is always on point. It’s never soggy or stale – unless it’s user error and I leave the bag open. These baddies followed suit and were crunchy.

Doritos Ketchup Closeup

With that, let’s start with ketchup first: if I could only use one condiment for the rest of my life, it would be Heinz ketchup. This was no 57, but for once, I wasn’t not mad about it. The chips were simultaneously pungent, tangy, sweet but perfectly counterbalanced with the softer corn note of the tortilla chip. It was so flavorful that it almost reminded me of the punch of sea salt and vinegar chips, but with a bit of a sweeter flavor. I was also surprised by the pop of flavor because the seasoning did look a bit sparse.

Doritos Spicy Mustard Closeup

Onto the spicy mustard one – I regularly consume Chinese hot mustard. I make it to eat with dumplings, dim sum, bratwurst, and more! So, I am thrilled to share the fantastic news that we can all consume Doritos Spicy Mustard flavored chips without destroying our nasal passages! The chips were relatively mild compared to the actual condiment but were still distinctly mustard. It was almost Dijon-like but with a bigger kick on the end. Depending on how sensitive you are to heat, this could taste spicy to you.

Eating them together, however, was…underwhelming. Clearly, they weren’t necessarily meant to complement because the ketchup overpowered the mustard. Also, I sure as heck will not be using these to replace the actual condiments on my food any time soon. These are a great side of plate friends though!

Doritos Ketchup and Spicy Mustard Back

Unfortunately, these were available as a limited time on Frito-Lay’s website (Snacks.com) and they’re officially sold out. But, I wouldn’t be surprised to see them in store in the future! When that day comes, make sure to snag a bag (or a couple!)

Purchased Price: $5.59 each
Size:
Purchased at: Snacks.com
Rating: 9 out of 10 (Ketchup), 9 out of 10 (Spicy Mustard)
Nutrition Facts: (28g/about 11 chips) Ketchup – 150 calories, 7 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 190 milligrams of sodium, 18 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 1 gram of sugar, and 2 grams of protein. Spicy Mustard – 140 calories, 7 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 190 milligrams of sodium, 17 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, less than 1 gram of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Doritos Twisted Southwest Ranch

Doritos Twisted Southwest Ranch Bag

Frito-Lay seems to be slacking.

(Drops mic)

Well, if I’m on the company’s holiday card mailing list, I’m definitely off it now. Or maybe I’ll be on a different list that’ll get lumps of caked Flamin’ Hot seasoning.

Why do I think they’re slacking?

Well, recently, they seem to be slightly tweaking flavors that already exist. The Doritos Tangy Tamarind I reviewed the other day tastes like a less spicy version of Doritos Flamin’ Hot Limon. And after eating these Doritos Twisted Southwest Ranch, my taste buds think they’ve been eating a significantly less hot version of the Doritos Flamin’ Hot Cool Ranch that came out early this year. I guess you could say this new flavor is a Smolderin’ Warm Cool Ranch Doritos, if you will.

Doritos Twisted Southwest Ranch Closeup

Doritos Twisted Southwest Ranch is currently a Sam’s Club exclusive in a pillow-sized 19.375-ounce bag. While looking to see if my local Sam’s Club had this in stock (it didn’t), I noticed a review for it that said there’s no ranch flavor and another that said it was gross. However, much like the Doritos Flamin’ Hot Cool Ranch, I thought the ranch seasoning sticks out the most. While it may not have the trademarked “Cool Ranch” in its name, it could be mistaken as a Cool Ranch cousin.

Doritos Twisted Southwest Ranch Tangy Twist

But along with the ranch’s tang, there’s an added sour cream tanginess that’s surprising. It was odd at first, but then it grew on me. Also, a faint sweetness comes from the brown sugar in the seasoning. According to the back of the bag, these chips have a “desert heat with a tangy twist.” So I guess that added tang on top of the ranch is the “twisted” part.

Or maybe the “twisted” part is that even though there’s fire on the packaging, the heat is paltry. The warmth from the chips is the equivalent to what you’d get from standing in front of your TV while Netflix’s Fireplace For Your Home plays on it.

Overall, Doritos Twisted Southwest Ranch is a chip I’m willing to eat 19.375 ounces of. But I think that extra tanginess, sweetness, lack of heat, or a combination of the three might turn off other taste buds. My wife grimaced the first time she tried a chip, but after eating a few more she admitted the flavor grew on her. Your amount of grimacing may vary.

Purchased Price: More than one should pay on eBay*
Size: 19.375 oz bag
Purchased at: eBay
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (about 12 chips) 150 calories, 7 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 190 milligrams of sodium, 17 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 1 gram of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Doritos Tangy Tamarind

Doritos Tangy Tamarind Bag

Despite having several beverages with tamarind in them, I can’t tell you what it is.

Its name makes me think of an obscure wind instrument or an obscure children’s cartoon character known for making body noises that sound like an obscure wind instrument. But it’s none of those things because I imagine a beverage with either one blended into it would taste horrible and not provide the sour flavor that tamarind offers.

I’m not even going to do the usual thing I do when I don’t know what something is or want to spoil the plot of a TV show/movie I haven’t watched yet — check Wikipedia. I’m just going to be clueless about tamarind until, I dunno, someone decides to share what it is in the comments below that hopefully gets lost among explanations that other folks fabricate.

Doritos Tangy Tamarind’s bag evokes thoughts of cheese. Wait. Is tamarind orange in color? Again, I’m ignorant of the, um, whatever it is. Is it a fruit? Is it a root? Is it a plant? Or is it an ant? Is it used as ink? I don’t know what to think.

Doritos Tangy Tamarind Closeup

With its dark red seasoning, the chips could be mistaken for something on the Flamin’ Hot side of the family. They smell like regular corn tortilla chips with a sweet aroma that includes a little something that hints at spiciness.

Doritos Tangy Tamarind Back Bag

The back of the bag offers a big hint that things will get spicy. However, its kick is a few levels below what one’s mouth will experience when eating something with Flamin’ Hot seasoning. Along with the spiciness are a light sweetness and a sour flavor that’s probably supposed to be the tamarind. But I’ve had a lot of lime-flavored Frito-Lay chips, like Hint of Lime Tostitos and Doritos Twisted Lime, and this sure tastes a lot like lime. Again, I have no idea what tamarind is, so maybe it’s part of lime’s family tree. With most chips, the sourness level is about equal to the chip’s spiciness, and that balance, along with hints of garlic and onion powder, makes for a great tasting chip.

Doritos Tangy Tamarind Plate

With that said, I can’t help but think these chips are a less spicy version of Doritos Flamin’ Hot Limon that came out in 2020, which I loved. So if you liked the taste of those chips, but you’d enjoy them more with a tad less heat, Doritos Tangy Tamarind is here to tantalize your taste buds. Even if you don’t know what tamarind is.

Purchased Price: More than one should pay on eBay
Size: 2 3/4 oz bag
Purchased at: eBay
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (about 11 chips/28 grams) 150 calories, 7 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 180 milligrams of sodium, 17 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 0 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Doritos Roulette Cool Ranch

Doritos Roulette Cool Ranch Bag

I’m not much of a gambler. I’ve been to Las Vegas once, a couple of years ago on a work trip, and I played (and lost) $5 in the hotel casino slot machine just so I could say I did it. It’s not that I don’t like risk; I will skydive or play basketball with brittle 40-year-old man knees or scream obscenities at a bull in Pamplona any day of the week. What I don’t like about gambling is the part where I am forced to part with money (mostly) due to things outside of my control.

But what about gambling with food? I do plenty of that, actually. I’ll eat pizza that was accidentally left out on the counter all night and slather my sandwiches with mayonnaise well north of its expiration date. As a young man brimming with virulent stupidity, I once ate a chicken tender from a trashcan on Bourbon Street. So is an extremely hot Cool Ranch Doritos any worse? (Well, okay— it’s undoubtedly safer than Trashcan Chicken, that’s for sure.) Let’s discuss.

The original Doritos Roulette chip — of the nacho cheese ilk — debuted in the US in 2015. (It’d been available abroad the year prior.) To the delight of spicy snack fans, they resurfaced last year in their original nacho incantation. But with the recent advent of Flamin’ Hot Cool Ranch Doritos, it seemed fated that Frito-Lay would eventually try its hand at Cool Ranch Roulette. So is it worth the gamble?

If you like Cool Ranch Doritos and don’t mind hot, you’ll like these chips. But how hot do they get, you’re wondering? Pretty hot. Like, really pretty hot, but not, “My nose and eyes are leaking, and I’m rethinking some of my life’s decisions, and why did I put off meeting with that guy about the living will. He said that the consultation was free unless they actually drafted paperwork” hot. Fresh jalapeño hot, but not 7 Pot Douglah hot. (It’s a pepper, look it up.) The heat is intense and lingering, and it is almost immediate.

Doritos Roulette Cool Ranch Closeup

The first chip I had was a regular Cool Ranch, and as I reached for a second, I wondered, how many hot chips are there in this bag? Is it like, 1 out of 10? 1 out of — and then as soon as I bit the second chip, my lips were burning, followed almost immediately by my tongue. Alarming as this was, it didn’t hold up statistically. I ate five or six chips before I got another hot one. (You know, just enough time for your mouth to begin feeling sort of okay again.) And really, that seemed to be about the ratio -— one out of every six or seven chips was burny.

It’s also worth noting that just because you liked the Flamin’ Hot Cool Ranch Doritos, it doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll like these. The FHCRD are a bit tangier and have more of a hot sauce burn, if you will, while this is much more of a pepper-based heat. Another reason that I enjoyed these more? If you have a kid who can’t yet read, it makes for a cheap laugh. (And it may also deter them from stealing your precious snacks.)

Purchased Price: $3.00
Size: 9.75 oz bag
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (12 chips) 150 calories, 8 grams of fat, 1 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 190 milligrams of sodium, 18 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of dietary fiber, less than 1 gram of sugar, 0 grams of added sugars, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Flamin’ Hot Cool Ranch Doritos

Flamin Hot Cool Ranch Doritos Bag

Look out! Chester Cheetah and his mischievous buddy Sparky are unleashing their wild sides again, this time blasting fiery clouds of spicy, neon red Cheetle all over poor, unsuspecting Cool Ranch Doritos. What exactly is fueling this fire? Did the folks at Frito-Lay accidentally make way too much Hot dust and the solution to this abundance is to dump it on everything?

Okay, I’m a little biased. I enjoy spicy foods but just can’t get behind Flamin’ Hot Cheetos. It isn’t that they’re too hot, but I find whatever the hot stuff is detracts from my enjoyment of the classic Cheetos taste. I acknowledge that I’m in the minority here because Flamin’ Hot Cheetos have a fierce and loyal following, and Frito-Lay knows it. It’s no accident that they’re sprinkling this seasoning on every product they make. More red dye 40 means more sales. Hot is popular and it’s my own fault I’ve never warmed to the concept.

Flamin Hot Cool Ranch Doritos Compare

With probable disappointment in mind, I still couldn’t help but pick up the familiar blue Cool Ranch bag, now featuring its corny triangle engulfed in flames. A peek inside revealed the expected aggressively red powder, and I figured I knew what I was in for. Some of the chips are liberally coated, but others seem almost like regular Cool Ranch Doritos that were spared the dousing of hell pollen.

Flamin Hot Cool Ranch Doritos Closeup

I ate one. Then three more. These chips still taste like Cool Ranch! In fact, Cool Ranch is the first thing I taste and continue to taste, even if my fingers are bright red. I have to eat several of them before the heat starts creeping in, and when it does make its presence known, it doesn’t overwhelm. It’s a pleasant pepper heat, and the ranch flavor never takes a back seat to it. I actually like these. I like them a lot.

Flamin Hot Cool Ranch Doritos Plated

How hot are they? I’m not sure I’d call them Flamin’ because I have to eat a lot of these before I even begin to feel the need to reach for a cooling beverage, and they certainly aren’t so hot that I ever need to take a break from eating them. My almost empty bag can attest to that. I think a pretty perfect balance has been struck here. These taste like the chips everyone already loves but pack just slightly more of a punch. I can’t say that I prefer them to regular Cool Ranch Doritos, but I can embrace them in a way I’ve never been able to with Flamin’ Hot editions before.

Now that this door has been opened, does it mean I should finally make that box of Flamin’ Hot mac and cheese that’s been sitting in my cupboard for a year and a half? If I do, you can be sure I’m going to pour these Dorito crumbs on top.

Purchased Price: $3.99
Size: 9 1/4 oz bag
Purchased at: Mariano’s
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (28 grams – about 12 chips) 150 calories, 8 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 190 milligrams of sodium, 18 grams of total carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, less than 1 gram of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.