REVIEW: Wendy’s Harvest Chicken Salad

Wendy s Harvest Chicken Salad

You know that meme that says “name a more iconic duo” and then hits you with a pic of anything from Keenan and Kel to a guy jumping off a bridge with another guy watching the Cleveland Browns?

I tend to think apples and walnuts fall into that category of stuff that belongs together.

Apples, walnuts, feta, bacon, chicken, and cranberries? Now we’re complicating things. Perhaps that’s why I’m ambivalent towards Wendy’s new Harvest Chicken Salad, which not only attempts to Noah’s Ark-it out of pretty much every Wendy’s salad ingredient but also skates a little too close to the regular-menu Apple Pecan Chicken Salad.

Wendy s Harvest Chicken Salad Fruits

I don’t mean to imply Wendy’s homage to autumn-in-salad-form isn’t good. Like most of Wendy’s salads, the ingredients push into fast casual territory. Skin-on red and green apples are crispy and mildly sweet; the chicken juicy and slightly smoky; the vinaigrette tangy and a tad bit tart. Add in crunchy, meaty glazed pecans (which were left off the first full-sized salad I ordered, unfortunately), and you’re looking at a filling meal.

Wendy s Harvest Chicken Salad Bacon

But then there’s the bacon, complicating things. It’s not bad in and of itself since, duh, it’s a scientific impossibility that bacon detracts from anything and because Wendy’s makes really good bacon -— thick cut, substantial, with a great balance of fat and smoke. But I have no idea why it’s on this salad. Not only did it arrive on my full-size salad (I bought another half-sized one later since Wendy’s forgot my walnuts) in strips meant for sandwiches, but it took away the spotlight from the apples and walnuts.

Much like the bacon, the feta cheese feels out of place, like me when I show up to a wine and cheese party with a six pack of Shinerbock. Perhaps Wendy’s didn’t want to infringe on the Apple Pecan Chicken Salad, but the salty, mostly flavorless feta lacks the tang and funk of blue cheese that helps complement the apples. Even goat cheese would have been a better option than feta, especially since it’s tangy and has a slight sweetness that would have played well with the oddly-included dried cranberries.

Wendy s Harvest Chicken Salad Closeup

I’m usually a big fan of Wendy’s salads, and while I loved the quality of the ingredients featured in the Harvest Chicken Salad, I can’t deny there’s a genuine lack of cohesion binding the salad together. Is it jump off a bridge because the Browns still haven’t won since 2016 dysfunctional? Goodness no. But when your iconic duo gets lost amidst even well executed extra ingredients, it’s time to get back to your bread and butter — or apples and walnuts.

(Nutrition Facts – Full Size – 570 calories, 23 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 115 milligrams of cholesterol, 1300 milligrams of sodium, 47 grams of carbohydrates, 37 grams of sugar, 5 grams of fiber, and 23 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $6.79
Size: Full
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Apples are surprisingly crisp and flavorful for a prepackaged salad. Great execution on individual ingredients, especially the juicy chargrilled chicken. Meme potential in the apple and walnut combination.
Cons: Too many ingredients crowding up that apple and walnut synergy. Feta cheese is a real disappointment. Why are their cranberries in this salad? Botched salad construction.

REVIEW: Taco Bell Chipotle Triple Double Crunchwrap

Taco Bell Chipotle Triple Double Crunchwrap

If you thought that last month’s Double Cheesy Gordita Crunch was one filling S.O.B., the Triple Double Crunchwrap is back to prove you woefully wrong, and this time, it’s got some seriously sassy backup in the form of a seriously spicy chipotle sauce.

I hope you have some of that Baja Blast waiting off to the side, son.

The infamous disc-like shape of the Crunchwrap effortlessly holds the best and brightest of Taco Bell’s menu in an easy-to-transport carrying case, barely containing plenty of cheese, plenty of meat, and plenty of chipotle. It’s a monstrosity, a real two-hander judiciously wrapped in a mostly-bulging tightly-pressed tortilla, ready to carnalistically explode in a flame of intense flavor.

Once again, the patented Taco Bell nacho cheese sauce takes full control here, mixing most hedonistically with the heated chipotle sauce, bringing an unexpected twinge of sweet hurt to the proceedings, a small controlled burn that only a culinary arsonist could ever truly love. Without a doubt, the cheese and the chipotle are the true crossover stars here, mostly thanks to those unsung taco artists back in the kitchen doing an excellent job of laying it on thick and heavy.

Taco Bell Chipotle Triple Double Crunchwrap 2

The top layer of lettuce and tomatoes are a veritable bed of much-needed greens for vitamins and minerals, but are quickly forgotten when the hidden action that lies in Taco Bell’s always provocative seasoned beef is devoured. Spread across two hard tostada shells and wrapped in the aforementioned pressed tortilla with a good bit of reduced-fat sour cream here and there in the folds, this might be the Bell’s best creation yet.

Taco Bell Chipotle Triple Double Crunchwrap 3

An exciting improvement to the original Triple Double Crunchwrap — which is back on the menu too — this chipotle variation is not just another random notch on Taco Bell’s belt, but instead, a welcomed, spicier take on some of their best menu items, with only one real minor drawback. This thing is so massive and filling that you’re not going to have room in you for anything else, except for that Baja Blast.

Is it too much of a good thing? Perhaps, but I’ll take it anyway. Sure, they may be going back to the well two (or three) times over, but each new additional ingredient, no matter how small, proves that Taco Bell keeps on knocking it out of the border ballpark with every ingenious turn of the tortilla. Cómpralo ya!

(Nutrition Facts – 770 calories, 38 grams of fat, 10 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 gram of trans fat, 50 milligrams of cholesterol, 1650 milligrams of sodium, 86 grams of carbohydrates, 9 grams of fiber, 8 grams of sugar, and 8 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $3.49
Size: N/A
Rating: 10 out of 10
Pros: Ingenious move. Absolutely huge. Great oral burn.
Cons: No need to order other items other than a Baja Blast.

QUICK REVIEW: Dairy Queen Snickerdoodle Cookie Dough Blizzard

Dairy Queen Snickerdoodle Cookie Dough Blizzard

What is it?

A new Blizzard gracing the menu for September, snickerdoodle cookie dough and cinnamon sugar mixed with vanilla soft serve.

How is it?

The Snickerdoodle Cookie Dough Blizzard reminds me of the fantasy football draft I participated in while eating it. The prospect of cinnamon sugar cookie dough leaves me salivating just as a new season’s roster full of fantasy goodness does. Unfortunately, both end the same way as well —- with me chagrined.

Dairy Queen clearly spent its first pick on cinnamon sugar rather than invest in a bell-cow cookie dough. The base presents a heavy cinnamon flavor that pervades throughout in spite of DQ fumbling at thoroughly mixing my Blizzard. Meanwhile, the promised sugar teammate provides the distinct crunch and fun grit that one expects to find in a snickerdoodle.

Dairy Queen Snickerdoodle Cookie Dough Blizzard 2

Despite the hot start, the cookie dough fails to impress. While it contains the standard soft and gritty DQ texture, whatever innate flavor the dough possesses is entirely overwhelmed by the cinnamon sugar ice cream. Furthermore, the pieces lack any hint of the tanginess found in a traditional snickerdoodle cookie. Rather than serving as a star player, this relegates the dough to a flex spot. This predictably caps the Blizzard’s upside. And I realized this as I was being kicked out of a league for trying to draft Cookie Monster at QB.

Is there anything else I need to know?

The Snickerdoodle Cookie Dough Blizzard is the only new offering on Dairy Queen’s Fall Blizzard Menu. Also available are the returning Oreo Hot Cocoa, Dipped Strawberry with Ghirardelli, and September’s Blizzard of the Month, Pumpkin Pie.

Conclusion:

Dairy Queen Snickerdoodle Cookie Dough Blizzard 3

Dairy Queen replicates the superficial elements of a snickerdoodle cookie, but it fails to capture enough of its spirit to truly impress. The end of the cup didn’t leave me dejectedly crying in the shower like this year’s draft, but it isn’t taking home the Shiva Bowl Trophy either.

Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: Mini
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (Mini) 400 calories, 16 grams of fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, .5 gram of trans fat, 30 milligrams of cholesterol, 180 milligrams of sodium, 56 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 42 grams of sugar, and 8 grams of protein.

Click here to read our other DQ Blizzard reviews

REVIEW: McDonald’s Sweet N’ Spicy Honey BBQ Glazed Tenders

McDonald s Sweet N Spicy Honey BBQ Glazed Tenders

I love the insolence of Honey BBQ.

Think about it. In an oversaturated food landscape where barbeque has become hyper-regionalized, all about the smoke, and increasingly shaped by other cuisines, Honey BBQ announces itself as unapologetically one-note.

Where other barbecue sauces hit you with a variety of flavors from fruity to tangy to smoky to hot, Honey BBQ essentially announces itself as the potluck contribution of Winnie the Pooh.

McDonald s Sweet N Spicy Honey BBQ Glazed Tenders 2

At the risk of glancing over the “Spicy” in McDonald’s new Sweet N’ Spicy Honey BBQ Glazed Tenders, that’s basically the story with the latest LTO from the Golden Arches. Sure, there’s a slight kick of cayenne on the backend of the tenders, but it’s more “hmm” than anything else.

Heatseekers be warned, these are not a reincarnation of Chick-fil-A’s unicornish Spicy Chicken Nuggets. If you’re looking for genuine heat, these are not the tenders you’re looking for.

McDonald s Sweet N Spicy Honey BBQ Glazed Tenders 4

The thing is, they don’t have to be. The first bite of the first tender was chicken tender heaven. Suddenly, marketing buzzwords like “crispy,” “juicy,” and even the highly suspect, if not potentially reprehensible, “finger licking” carry meaning beyond a 30-second radio spot cliché.

McDonald s Sweet N Spicy Honey BBQ Glazed Tenders 3

For chicken tender aficionados, that first bite is less a taste sensation and more a moment, as if the combined flavors of every horrible-for-you food came together and created a slow-motion music video of you chomping away.

The glaze, meanwhile, is a double-edged sword, one that invites you to lick the sticky-sweet goo as you would a popsicle, but at the cost of precious crispiness on the part of the tender’s breading. While excellent as far as Honey BBQ goes, the sauce was inconsistently applied.

While I’d avoid sticking the c-word label on the tenders, I’ll be the first to admit that to some taste buds they may seem cloying. Such is the biological reductionism of Honey BBQ, which functions at its best when paired with crispy, fatty foods like those $1 Wise Honey BBQ potato chips it sells at Dollar General, or, as I’ve found, boneless all-white meat chicken strips at McDonald’s.

If you can make peace with this, you will like these tenders. If not, well, there’s always a petition to get Chick-fil-A’s spicy nuggets to go national.

(Nutrition Facts – 4 pieces – 640 calories, 27 grams of fat, 4 grams of saturated fat, 0 gram of trans fat, 105 milligrams of cholesterol, 1780 milligrams of sodium, 63 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 35 grams of sugar, and 39 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $4.19
Size: 4-piece
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Nails the Honey BBQ flavor. Addictively saucy. Tenders stay fairly crispy despite excess moisture. Gives “all-white meat” a good name.
Cons: Spice is modest and not exactly caliente. Inconsistent saucing. Terribly, terribly messy to eat.

REVIEW: Carl’s Jr. Froot Loops Mini Donuts

Carl s Jr Froot Loops Mini Donuts

I love hip-hop.

And I love junk food.

Those may seem like unrelated interests, but truth be told, they have a lot more in common than you think. They both have very high highs – Travis Scott’s Astroworld and Krispy Kreme’s Reese’s Outrageous Doughnut, and very low lows – Hostess’ Cotton Candy Twinkies and the general existence of Lil Pump. They both simultaneously flourish and hurt themselves with excessive output.

Like Nabisco’s continual push to release more Oreo flavors than the year before with only a few true gems, or when E-40 released “The Block Brochure,” with nearly 60 songs and only a handful worthy of repeat listens. But the shining light of commonality between these two separate things is their ability to thrive in collaboration. Hip-hop tracks that bring together three or four of the hottest MC’s in the game are almost always bangers, and when junk food titans join forces to create a cohesive product, it isn’t always great, but at the very least it’s fun.

Welcome to the world, Carl’s Jr’s Froot Loops Mini Donuts!

First things first, the packaging is fantastic. So much of the allure of limited time junk and fast food lies in the bag or box that it comes in, and this Froot Loops-branded carton that looks like it could house mozzarella sticks or jalapeno poppers sets the stage for a wonderful fulfilling experience before the eating even begins.

Carl s Jr Froot Loops Mini Donuts 2

Opening the box is a sight and smell to behold, with five different colored donuts that mimic Froot Loops’ signature rings perfectly and carries the bold, strong scent of the cereal with absolute precision. It’s a sensory symphony of artificial fruit flavor and sugar. Some of the donuts have a thicker coating like a layer of frosting, and some have a thinner, more dissolved look like a traditional glaze.

Carl s Jr Froot Loops Mini Donuts 4

My hypothetical rule of collaborative truth continues to thrive as these donuts taste as good as they look and smell. Super soft and slightly crispy, the donuts burst with a perfect fruity citrus-forward flavor that tastes EXACTLY like the love child of Little Debbie and Toucan Sam. This revelation leaves me with some pretty haunting visuals, but it’s the absolute realest description possible.

The rings with a thicker, more visible layer of icing unsurprisingly pack a heftier taste bud punch, but the lighter glazed ones still get the point across, just a bit less convincingly. Like the actual cereal pieces, despite the glaringly different colors schemes, they all taste the same, like “froot.”

Carl s Jr Froot Loops Mini Donuts 3

In the vast land of junk and fast food collabs I can safely declare Froot Loops’ appearance at Carl’s Jr. a super hot feature. It’s such a natural and well-done pairing that I can’t believe one of the bigger companies like Dunkin’ or Krispy Kreme didn’t get to it first, but as a company known for welcoming bigger brands into their home with open arms, Carl’s Jr. just earned themselves another gold star.

(Nutrition Facts – 5 donuts – 320 calories, 15 grams of fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 20 milligrams of cholesterol, 360 milligrams of sodium, 44 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 24 grams of sugar, and 3 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: 5 donuts
Rating: 9 out of 10
Pros: Perfect Froot Loops flavor packed into a soft mini donut. Great box art. Awesome vivid colors
Cons: Slight inconsistency in the glaze/coating that leaves some donuts a little less spectacular than others. $2.99 is a bit high for 5 donuts, but I saw in other markets it’s $1.99, which seems perfect