REVIEW: Taco Bell Strawberry Twists

I wish Taco Bell’s new Strawberry Twists were a vibrant pink color. I’m talking a shade so intense that you could walk right into a showing of the Barbie movie with an order of them raised in one hand like a torch, and no theater employee would confront you about bringing in outside food, but instead think of it as part of your ensemble.

In Taco Bell’s promo photos, they’re pink but with a tint that’s less Barbie and more like Pepto Bismol that’s been diluted with milk of magnesia. But, in real life, it’s hard to pick out the pink with these twists.

The Strawberry Twists are crispy, puffed pieces sprinkled with a strawberry-flavored dusting and sugar, and they are only the second other Twists variety that the chain has offered other than cinnamon. I assume whatever pink there is comes from the strawberry-flavored dust that accumulates in the nooks and crannies of every piece like they’re the Pink Panther hiding from Inspector Clouseau. But they’re primarily off-white, which made me initially think they would have little flavor.

However, they have as much as the cinnamon ones. I mean, don’t expect it to hit your tastebuds like you’re dipping your tongue in a container of Strawberry Nesquik powder, which, after typing it, sounds like something I should try to do as an adult. (Hey, Siri. Add Nesquik powder to my Grocery list.) Instead of a bold taste, expect a mild artificial strawberry flavor that’s far from cloying but also far from being bland. They have just the right amount of berry to make them quite dang tasty.

That said, Taco Bell’s Strawberry Twists aren’t more enjoyable than the original cinnamon ones, but I think they’re another pleasant way to end your Taco Bell meal. With their introduction, I hope it leads to other twists of Taco Bell’s Twists. A Baja Blast-flavored version would be perfect to release in 2024 for Baja Blast’s 20th birthday.

Take my idea, Taco Bell.

Purchased Price: $1.39
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 170 calories, 6 grams of fat, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 115 milligrams of sodium, 27 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 10 grams of sugar (including 10 grams of added sugar), and 1 gram of protein.

REVIEW: Wendy’s Loaded Nacho Cheeseburger

Wendy’s is ready for Fall, and with gameday food in mind, they’ve decided to smother their cheeseburgers in nacho fixings. The Loaded Nacho Cheeseburger starts with classic elements – beef patty, American cheese, lettuce, tomato – tops them off with poblano queso, spicy chipotle sauce, tortilla strips, and crispy corn, and stuffs them all in a jalapeño cheddar bun. Anyone who’s ever ordered loaded nachos or a nacho helmet at a baseball game knows that these cheesy chips are a fickle mistress. The first few will be crunchy and satisfying, but things will eventually devolve into a soggy mess. Will a burger suffer the same fate? Will Wendy’s version of Corn Nuts save it?

Let’s start with the bun. Despite the obvious cheddar spots on top and jalapeño bits baked in, it doesn’t taste like much on its own. Notably, both times I tried this, there was a nicely browned-looking cheese crust along a third of the bottom bun, like the cheddar had been conveniently placed to spill over into a picture-perfect frico, but it isn’t actually as crispy as it seemed and lacks discernible flavor.

Atop that bun is a standard slice of American cheese (which you’d never notice unless you chose to pick it apart), a single patty of Wendy’s beef (which I consider to be pretty good quality for a fast food burger), a generous helping of poblano queso, tortilla strips, surprising corn kernels, lettuce, tomato, and the spicy sauce. There’s enough of the queso and sauce that the whole thing is a messy experience and definitely eats like what you’d find if you persevered to the bottom of your nacho plate and found everything had become a little too homogenous. The queso is tasty and more flavorful than I expected, while the chipotle sauce either got lost or I didn’t get as much of it. The sandwich has a slight kick, but it never crosses into truly spicy territory or tastes like chipotles. Lettuce would usually add a little crunch to a burger, but here, it forfeits its texture to the cheese/sauce mix, which brings us to the tortilla strips and crispy corn.

Before trying this, I couldn’t picture what the crispy corn would be and wondered if it was just a redundant explanation of the strips. It turns out they’re a unique entity: zestily seasoned jumbo corn kernels akin to Corn Nuts. The few that escaped my burger were nice on their own, but the ones that stayed on managed to either be startlingly crunchy amid the otherwise squishy situation or sogged by cheese into an unpleasant texture. The tortilla strips, not surprisingly, met a similar end, and most of them were left lifeless.

This sounds like a list of complaints, but I enjoyed this burger. Not all of the textures worked out as Wendy’s intended and I would have liked some more jalapeño flavor, but the cheesy-without-being-gloppy poblano queso makes it worth a try as a novelty item.

Purchased Price: $6.29
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 710 calories, 43 grams of total fat, 17 grams of saturated fat, 1.5 grams of trans fat, 95 milligrams of cholesterol, 1390 milligrams of sodium, 51 grams of total carbohydrates, 4 grams of dietary fiber, 11 grams of total sugars, and 33 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Dairy Queen Royal Reese’s Fluffernutter Blizzard

Sometimes I really dislike being an adult. I’m not talking about paying taxes, having a job, or things like that. I just don’t like how it changes what is appropriate when it comes to food. If I were a toddler, it would be no big deal if I took off my shirt and ate mac and cheese with my hands, and people would say how cute I was when I got sauce in my hair. If I try that as an adult at Applebee’s, I’ll probably be asked to leave. If I were in kindergarten, a fluffernutter sandwich would be a perfectly acceptable lunch. But if I suggest we have peanut butter and marshmallow creme sandwiches at a work meeting, then some co-workers might suggest I’m a bit immature (but I know others would secretly think it’s an awesome idea). Thankfully, Dairy Queen has the new Royal Reese’s Fluffernutter Blizzard that both mature and immature adults can purchase without being judged.

If you are not familiar with the “Royal” line of Blizzards, they have the bonus of a hidden core, which, in this case, is filled with marshmallow topping. I thought about bringing a small handsaw so I could conduct a Blizzard autopsy and show you exactly how it looks inside, but I figured that would be frowned upon and maybe a little dangerous. Besides, the DQ website features a cross-section view if you are interested. Surrounding the marshmallow core of this Blizzard are Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, peanut butter topping, and, of course, vanilla soft serve. The core might be hard to see in the photos, and as the Blizzard around it melts, it all blends together, but trust me that it’s there.

I’m not sure if this is the case everywhere, but at my local DQ, the Royal Blizzards will set you back an extra $1. After having this one, I can tell you that’s a buck well spent. The standard PB Cup Blizzard is already one of my favorites, but it becomes truly glorious with the marshmallow flavor running down the center. The marshmallow topping by itself is quite sweet — almost too sweet — but it is balanced out perfectly by the decidedly less sweet peanut butter flavor. The smooth, creamy texture of the marshmallow topping also pairs wonderfully with the chunkiness and thickness of the pulverized peanut butter cups in the soft serve. I tried to think how I would improve this Blizzard, and I’ve got nothing to suggest. I think it’s my new all-time favorite.

My only disappointment is that I ordered a small, which really limits the real estate available for the marshmallow core. So my suggestion is to live like a king or a queen and at least order the medium for this one. Nah, just get a large.

Purchased Price: $5.99
Size: Small
Rating: 10 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 750 calories, 31 grams of fat, 13 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 50 milligrams of cholesterol, 390 milligrams of sodium, 104 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 87 grams of sugar, and 17 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Starbucks Iced Pumpkin Cream Chai Tea Latte

Starbucks Iced Pumpkin Cream Chai Tea Latte Cup

As we all know, only three things are certain in life: death, taxes, and pumpkin spice season. I wasn’t feeling particularly autumnal as I exited my local Starbucks into the 90-degree heat, but at least with its orangey-brown hue and dense pumpkin spice topping the color of fallen leaves, my Iced Pumpkin Cream Chai Tea Latte looked the part. This is a new offering for Starbucks’ fall menu, but I don’t foresee it becoming a mainstay…

Maybe this is supposed to be obvious from the drink’s name, but I certainly didn’t realize before looking it up, so let me warn you that the base of this beverage is just Starbucks’ regular chai tea latte. The unique “pumpkin cream” factor specifically refers to the cold foam on top; the drink itself doesn’t have anything in it that’s different than the usual. That felt a little unsatisfying to me at first, but hey, pumpkin spice mix is generally a combination of cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, and cloves, and with the exception of nutmeg, all of these ingredients are already present in Starbuck’s chai tea concentrate. (Others include water, black tea, cardamom, black pepper, star anise, sugar, honey, vanilla, and citric acid, if you were wondering). So, it might not be an immediate member of the pumpkin spice nuclear family, but at the very least, Starbucks’ chai tea latte is probably a not-too-distant cousin.

Starbucks Iced Pumpkin Cream Chai Tea Latte pumpkin topping

In any case, the pumpkin cream cold foam and its smattering of seasoning on top was as tasty as I’ve come to expect from Starbucks. It was sweet, rich, and creamy, with an appealing melt-in-your-mouth fluffiness, and the pumpkin spice topping added some nice zest (though mine had a bit too much for my liking, with one particularly saturated mouthful calling to mind that old viral challenge where people would eat a straight spoonful of cinnamon with disastrous results).

The foam topping was substantial enough that it took a few sips for me to even get to the chai, but when I did… well, do you know that feeling when you’re sipping a drink that’s so cold that you can’t actually tell what it tastes like beneath the sensation of coolness? That was the case here; of course, I knew from the velvety texture that I was drinking something meant to be indulgent, but the only immediate way I could describe the taste would just be “cold.” That blandness didn’t ever change, leading to a general feeling that I was just drinking some nicely chilled, very mildly sweet, and quite over-expensive milk. There were occasional flashes of the complex spiciness of chai, but they were more of an aftertaste than the main event they should have been, and ultimately, I would say this drink’s creamy texture was more noticeable than its taste.

So sure, the pumpkin cream cold foam is good, but it’s not a big enough part of this drink’s experience for me to really recommend; once it’s gone, the Iced Pumpkin Cream Chai Tea Latte effectively just becomes a plain chai tea latte, so if that doesn’t entice you, you’re better off getting your fall fix elsewhere.

Purchased Price: $7.35
Size: Grande (medium)
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 460 calories, 17 grams of fat, 55 milligrams of cholesterol, 160 milligrams of sodium, 68 grams of total carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 66 grams of sugar, and 10 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Burger King Honey Mustard BK Royal Crispy Chicken Sandwich

I paid $11.49 for this Burger King Honey Mustard BK Royal Crispy Chicken Sandwich.

Yes, just the sandwich.

Granted, I purchased it in a somewhat remote town 40 miles away from another Burger King location and any Walmart. Was it worth $11.49? Well, paying double digits for a fast food sandwich that’s three to four dollars cheaper at most other locations will leave a bad taste in anyone’s mouth. But I would buy it again if I could purchase it in a range closer to its advertised price because I thoroughly enjoyed it.

The limited time offering features a crispy white meat breast fillet topped with honey mustard, Swiss cheese, bacon, lettuce, and tomatoes on a toasted potato bun.

Much like the crispy chicken fillet in the BK Royal Crispy Wrap, the crispiness was mainly on the breading’s edges. And with the wrap, I was okay with the fillet’s lack of thickness since it was in a thin tortilla blanket. However, in the sandwich, it’s much more noticeable since it sits between several layers of topping, condiments, and the fluffy bun. Its thickness makes it look like it should be in a value chicken sandwich. That said, the poultry was tender and had some flavor from the breading that was noticeable with all the other ingredients.

But what made this tasty was the combination of the honey mustard’s sweetness and bacon’s smoky and porky flavors, giving the menu item a nice sweet and savory punch. Thankfully, there were generous portions of both. There were several half-slices of bacon, and honey mustard was slathered on the top and bottom buns.

Speaking of the potato bun, much like the condiment, it also provides some sweetness, and despite all the sauce and liquid from the tomatoes, it didn’t fall apart while I ate it. I’m not sure the Swiss cheese did anything to help with flavor, but it was the glue that prevented the bacon from falling out. As for the vegetables, the lettuce provided a little crunch, and the tomato gave a pleasant acidic kick.

Burger King’s Honey Mustard BK Royal Crispy Chicken Sandwich is a tasty addition to the chain’s premium chicken sandwich line. While it may not be worth it if you pay double digit dollars, it is if you can get it at a significantly lower selling price.

Purchased Price: $11.49*
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 570 calories, 27 grams of fat, 4 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 70 milligrams of cholesterol, 1330 milligrams of sodium, 61 grams of carbohydrates, 9 grams of fiber, 14 grams of sugar, and 31 grams of protein.

*Because I live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, things are a bit pricier here. You’ll probably pay less than I did.