Frankford KFC Colonel’s Favorite Jelly Beans Review

Frankford KFC Colonel’s Favorite Jelly Beans packaging

Jelly bean season is upon us, and the folks at Frankford Candy have given us the unholiest collaboration of Eastertide: Colonel’s Favorite Jelly Beans.

The colonel is Colonel Sanders—the KFC guy.

If you think that sounds terrible, you are correct. These jelly beans are not AI, but I wish they were.

The flavors are fried chicken, sweet corn (maybe we should call him Kernel Sanders?), and gravy. I didn’t expect these to be good, and yet even my low expectations remain unmet.

Frankford KFC Colonel’s Favorite Jelly Beans fried chicken

When I open the bag, I get a strong, off-putting savory smell. I often enjoy mixing savory and sweet (pineapple on pizza, Pumpkin Spice Cup Noodles), but this is not one of those times.

Frankford KFC Colonel’s Favorite Jelly Beans gravy

Even the beige color palette is unappetizing. The corn flavor is yellow, the gravy flavor is orange-yellow, and the fried chicken flavor is Caucasian skin with freckles. At least the texture is pretty typical for a jelly bean.

Frankford KFC Colonel’s Favorite Jelly Beans corn

The flavors aren’t all that different from each other; they are all strong umami, savory flavors with a fruity sweetness. If I concentrate, the fried chicken flavor does make me imagine juicy meat inside a crispy batter, but that’s not something I want in a jelly bean. The corn bean has a very faint corn flavor; it’s the best (i.e., least disgusting) of the three. And I detect an onion note in the gravy bean.

Even after I have eaten them, a weird, unpleasant aftertaste lingers in my mouth. I think these are worse than the notorious turkey dinner candy corn.

Taste the KFC Rainbow

It is difficult to find anything to enjoy about these. So why am I rating them a 2 out of 10 instead of a 1 out of 10? Well, they’re not so repulsive that I need to spit them out. They’re close, but they’re not quite there. And also, I’m pretty sure they’re meant to be amusing and ridiculous, and they’re probably meant to be a little gross. In that way, they’re a roaring success.

Don’t put these in a plastic egg for the annual egg hunt unless you want to ruin a kid’s Easter.

Purchased Price: $3.00
Size: 4 oz bag
Purchased at: Five Below
Rating: 2 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (22 pieces) 110 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 milligrams of sodium, 28 grams of carbohydrates, 27 grams of sugar (includes 27 grams of added sugar), and 0 grams of protein.

Starbucks Iced Ube Coconut Macchiato Review

Starbucks Iced Ube Coconut Macchiato layers

If you’re looking to put some Spring in your step, your mouth, or your Instagram stories, look no further than the Iced Ube Coconut Macchiato from Starbucks. While the new toasted coconut syrup and toasted coconut cold foam are permanent additions to the menu, this ube incarnation is only here for a limited time. Combining milk, espresso, and toasted coconut syrup, this drink is served over ice and topped with a layer of ube coconut cold foam and a toasted coconut topping. For those counting, that’s triple the coconut, so let’s hope this flavor profile is a pleasant one because they’re going all in on it.

This macchiato is visibly striking thanks to its thick top layer of purple cold foam. The foam gets its color from ube powder, and it’s definitely a head-turner. I could sense the eyes of many intrigued kids staring at the cup as the barista set it down; apparently, my Starbucks turns into a fifth-grade cafeteria at 4 pm.

Avoiding the chaos, I took my drink to go and noticed that the foam held up quite well despite the walk and didn’t immediately dissipate into the liquid below. The fuchsia foam is sweet and airy, with a velvety mouthfeel and a nice blend of vanilla and coconut. Does it taste like ube? It’s hard to say; ube is described as tasting sweet and nutty, with notes of coconut and vanilla, so perhaps this does actually taste like ube, but it’s getting a boost from the vanilla and coconut syrups the foam contains. Either way, it’s delightful. The little bits of coconut topping sprinkled over it have a pleasant chew, somewhere between coconut flakes and coconut candy.

Starbucks Iced Ube Coconut Macchiato coconut flakes and ube cold foam

The first few sips are mostly just sweet, though never cloying, and then the espresso integrates itself, bringing some bitter notes to balance things out. Things get increasingly coconutty as you go further into the drink, and it feels like a true coconut flavor as opposed to artificial or sunscreen-adjacent.

I was impressed that, even though this looks like it could be a gimmicky drink, it doesn’t fall into the category of dessert masquerading as coffee. You could drink this and feel like you’re having a normal, albeit purple, coffee drink and not just a cup of sugar. It’s also worth noting that you will look normal (well, assuming you look normal to begin with) after drinking this and won’t be left with a purple mouth.

The last time I had an ube macchiato, it came from Dunkin’ and was underwhelming in both appearance and flavor. Where they failed, Starbucks delivers in spades. At over $7 for a grande, I’m not sure I can afford to treat myself to this as often as I’d like, but it’s such a playful and enjoyable drink that I can’t be mad at it. If a perfect blend of vanilla, toasted coconut, and coffee sounds appealing to you, ube-tter get to Starbucks before this macchiato leaves the menu.

Purchased Price: $7.16
Size: Grande
Purchased at: Starbucks
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 380 calories, 18 grams of total fat, 12 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 60 milligrams of cholesterol, 180 milligrams of sodium, 43 grams of total carbs, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 41 grams of total sugar, 11 grams of protein, and 150 milligrams of caffeine.

Starbucks Iced Toasted Coconut Latte Review

Starbucks Iced Toasted Coconut Latte in a cup

Starbucks keeps rolling out spring drinks like it’s trying to will warm weather into existence, and honestly? I respect the optimism. This year’s lineup features toasted coconut everywhere: in a cold brew, a macchiato, and a Toasted Coconut Latte, which Starbucks now offers hot or iced. The drink combines the new toasted coconut syrup with signature espresso and milk.

OK, so here we go right out of the gate: The biggest downfall of this drink was that the coconut wasn’t strong enough. It was very mellow and muted, despite there being three pumps of syrup in a tall. Between the toasted flavor and the milk, it just… fell a bit flat. I wonder how it would differ if you swapped dairy milk for coconut milk? Coconut on coconut could be interesting…

Looking down at Starbucks Iced Toasted Coconut Latte in a cup

But what I DID like about it was that it wasn’t a super sweet drink. Even with 19 grams of sugar in a tall, I felt like I was having my morning latte versus a dessert. I was also pleasantly surprised with the protein content – always an added bonus!

If you’re a coconut enthusiast, it’s worth a try. But I’d be interested to see if the flavor shines through more in the other new toasted coconut drinks. Let me know if you’ve tried any of the others!

And as a small aside, when I got this drink, my two-year-old tried the new Frog Cake Pop, also here for spring. She would definitely give it a 10 out of 10!

Purchased Price: $5.45
Size: Tall
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 130 calories, 3.5 grams of total fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 15 milligrams of cholesterol, 90 milligrams of sodium, 19 grams of total carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 19 grams of total sugars, 6 grams of protein, and 75 milligrams of caffeine.

Sonic Sour Shamrock Slush Review

Sonic Sour Shamrock Slush green color

When you hear that something is “shamrock” flavored, you probably assume it’s mint. But why does that have to be? I’ve never eaten an actual shamrock, but I’m guessing it doesn’t taste like mint. For years, I’ve been saying we should include other green flavors with our annual March treats.

Sonic seems to agree, because its new Sour Shamrock Slush is not mint but apple. It’s a green apple slush with sour popping candy throughout, capped with whipped topping and a rainbow candy piece.

Sonic Sour Shamrock Slush cloud, rainbow, and pot of gold

This thing is a beauty. It evokes not just green fields of shamrocks but also a cloud with a rainbow and a pot of gold at the end. It’s much more creative than all the mint shakes we get at this time of year.

The slush has a typical green apple candy flavor. It’s vibrant and enjoyable, a bold flavor choice. The texture of the slush is just the right amount of grainy and liquidy. Sonic has mastered making slushes, and this one is no different.

Usually, when popping candy is included in things like this, the popping is the only thing you get. Since I don’t drink in my car, I could hear my drink snapping during the 18-minute drive home, and I definitely feel a little crackle in my mouth. But with this drink, the popping takes a backseat to the candy’s sour nature. There is no mistaking the sourness here! Not quite the level of an actual lemon, but closer to the sour dusting on Sour Patch Kids. Since the candies are small, they don’t overpower the drink, but you can’t miss them.

The rainbow candy bite seems to be an artificial cherry flavor, like those multicolored candy canes you get in elementary school. I enjoy it, but it’s so chewy that it feels like I’m taking a break from the slush to eat the candy. I’m fine with that, but it doesn’t feel like a cohesive part of the whole.

The whipped topping is the typical grocery store variety, like Cool Whip. It’s not something I ever considered putting on a slush before, but I’m not mad about it. Since it’s mostly oil, it doesn’t really integrate into the slush the way that actual whipped cream or ice cream might.

Sonic Sour Shamrock Slush mixed

As I got to the bottom, I mixed the topping with the rest of the slush, and I didn’t like it as much. But I don’t know whether the whipped topping ruined the flavor, or whether the drink was already losing its flavor as I sucked the slush through my straw.

I’m really delighted with this drink. And I’m hoping this can also help us move into embracing green flavors more broadly during March: lime, pistachio, pear, honeydew, kiwi, avocado, pickle…Think of the possibilities!

Purchased Price: $3.99
Size: Only available as medium
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 440 calories, 6 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 90 milligrams of sodium, 98 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 94 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Taco Bell Chocolate Fudge & Caramel Empanadas

Taco Bell Chocolate Fudge & Caramel Empanadas with Taco Bell bag

With the success of the Taco Bell Caramel Apple Empanada, the chain has apparently decided to find out if lightning can strike twice with the rollout of Chocolate Fudge & Caramel Empanadas. An order comes with one of each variety — two different empanadas for one price. Two empanadas enter and one empanada leaves. Okay, there’s no Mad Max competition. But if it were, I know which one should walk away.

Taco Bell Caramel Empanadas split open

Taco Bell Chocolate Fudge Empanadas split open

After opening each with a pair of kitchen shears, I noticed the caramel filling was shy, while the chocolate filling looked ready to jump out of its shell. That’s also the case with their flavors — the caramel was muted and somewhat swallowed by its shell, while the chocolate filling stood out confudgently, I mean, confidently. If the caramel filling had been more generous, I imagine the flavor would’ve been better. So if you happen to find yourself having to share one with another person, give them the caramel one and tell them I said it’s the better one. They’ll never know because they probably have no idea who I am.

Taco Bell Chocolate Fudge & Caramel Empanadas split open side by side

The two shells behave quite differently as well. The caramel one has a shell that’s slightly tough, while the chocolate one crumbles under the pressure of a bite, making it messier but easier to eat. And when the person you generously surrendered the caramel one to notices that, you can shrug and say, “See, the shell is so crumbly. You definitely got the better one.”

Taco Bell Chocolate Fudge & Caramel Empanadas shells

Because you’re stuck with one of each, the caramel empanada drags down the overall experience. It’s pretty much mid, and while the chocolate fudge is a step up, it’s not Choco Taco mind-blowing. Both could probably be improved with a scoop of ice cream — Taco Bell Chocolate Fudge & Caramel Empanadas a la Mode has a nice ring to it — but as they come, there’s no need to run to the border for these or Live Dás, I mean, EmpanaDás.

Purchased Price: $3.99
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (for both) 320 calories, 15 grams of fat, 4 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, less than 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 290 milligrams of sodium, 42 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 16 grams of sugar, and 3 grams of protein.

*Because I live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, things are a bit pricier here. You’ll probably pay less than I did.

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