REVIEW: Pop-Tarts Frosted Strawberry Ice Cream Sandwiches

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It’s the biggest news in Pop-Tarts since Jerry Seinfeld inexplicably got every comedian on Earth to appear in a movie about the great toaster pastry war of the 1960s. Have you seen that movie? To misuse Jerry’s iconic joke set-up, “What’s goin’ on with this?!” (We have to pay him royalties if we use the real line.)

That extremely strange film aside, I’ve got a better question for ya — Have you seen these new Pop-Tarts Ice Cream Sandwiches? Well, let me tell ya what’s goin’ on with this!

Whether you’re a toasted Pop-Tart fan or a “straight out the box” Pop-Tart fan, I’m afraid you’ve been living a lie because Pop-Tarts taste best frozen.

Frozen Pop-Tarts are my jam (pun probably intended), and I think the good folks over at Kellogg finally had the same realization. A frozen Pop-Tart is the best Pop-Tart. Now, picture two frozen Pop-Tarts with some ice cream between them. To quote Cosmo Kramer, “Ohhhh, mama!”

Yeah, despite having a box of P-T’s in my freezer next to some ice cream numerous times, I never once thought to combine the two. It took this drop to make me realize I’ve been missing out for years.

Do they live up to the hype I literally just created in my head?

Yup. These sammiches are really good, but they’re pretty small. If you want the “Big Pop-Tart,” you’re gonna have to go to Monk’s Cafe. They must have been in the pool, because we’ve got a little shrinkage happening. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Seinfeld!

I’ll get my one knock out of the way and say that the size actually acts as a deterrent. These aren’t the most satisfying bites. When I freeze my Tarts, I find that the icing and the filling develop a really pleasant chewy texture. With these adorable mid-sized pastries, there’s not enough of those elements, so the crumby bready part kinda just tastes like a dry Pop-Tart. These Pop-Tarts… are making me thirsty!

That’s a nitpick because, beyond that, I really like these. They’re building off the iconic Strawberry Frosted Pop-Tart and slapping in some light Strawberry ice cream that’s not as cloyingly sweet as you’re probably expecting.

The little block of ice cream is a great mimic of the Strawberry Pop-Tart flavor, even down to the strawberry jelly ribbons that play on the filling. Again, there isn’t much, so, no scoop for you! … but there’s enough. Anything more would have been overkill.

So yeah, mini Pop-Tarts don’t make for the best ice cream sandwich bread, but the flavor is good enough to make up for it. If you have even a little love for Strawberry Pop-Tarts, these should be right up your alley. You won’t be screaming “Serenity Now” after a couple of bites.

Before leaving, I should note that I tried to toast one of these and I would not recommend doing that. It made an absolute mess and ruined my toaster. The cleanup was definitely spongeworthy.

(Might have to pay royalties on that one.)

Purchased Price: $6.87
Size: 16 oz. box/4-pack
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 230 calories, 9 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 85 milligrams of sodium, 37 grams of total carbohydrates, 19 grams of total sugars, 2 grams of dietary fiber, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Wendy’s Frosty Fusions

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Remember Wendy’s Frosty Swirls that came out (checks notes) a month ago?

Well, they have been whip kicked to the curb by Wendy’s red ponytails and replaced with the upgraded Frosty Fusions. Just kidding. These are the Frosty Swirls, which are very much still around, with a crunchy topping. Brownie batter gets Oreo cookie pieces, caramel has toffee pieces, and strawberry comes with strawberry Pop-Tarts Crunchy Poppers.

Like the Frosty Swirls, all three are available with either a chocolate or vanilla base. For my review of the previous line, I went with chocolate, so this time I decided to go with vanilla.

An issue I had with the Caramel Frosty Swirl was how weak the caramel sauce was. Unfortunately, and not surprisingly, it’s still weak here with this Frosty Fusion. But the tiny, plentiful toffee pieces add a bit of sweet butteriness to make up for the sauce.

However, even with the toffee, I can confidently say this one isn’t as flavorful or outstanding as the other two. Also, even though I know toffee is going to toffee, I was a bit annoyed by how the pieces stuck to my teeth. Although, maybe that’s me projecting my disappointment with this dessert since I love caramel.

The Oreo Brownie Twist Frosty Fusion combines two chocolatey flavors with the brownie batter sauce and Oreo pieces. Not surprisingly, the cookie pieces enhance the already delicious swirled sauce, and on this vanilla canvas, they both stood out.

On Wendy’s website, the description says, “Not gonna lie, there’s a lot going on here—and all of it is delicious.” While I don’t believe there’s a lot going on with this souped-up Frosty because it’s just three components, all of it is very tasty, and the dark cookie pieces add a pleasant contrasting texture.

Much like IKEA instructions, I sometimes don’t read product descriptions until after the fact, and that’s what I did with the Strawberry Pop-Tarts Frosty Fusion. Because I didn’t look it up, I initially thought this came topped with untoasted Frosted Strawberry Pop-Tart pieces. However, I was pleasantly surprised after realizing it came with Pop-Tarts Crunchy Poppers, which, after thinking about it, made more sense texture-wise than untoasted and uncrunchy Pop-Tarts.

I tasted the strawberry sauce more than the Pop-Tarts’ filling, but didn’t mind that because it enhanced the Pop-Tarts’ flavor, making this a sweet, fruity, and crunchy treat. Much like the Strawberry Frosty Swirl was my favorite among the three swirls, this topped treat was the best of the bunch.

My thoughts about Wendy’s Frosty Fusions mirror what I thought about the Frosty Swirls. The Strawberry one is outstanding, the brownie batter one is excellent, and the caramel one is good, but at the same time, a bit underwhelming.

Purchased Price: $5.89 each
Size: Small
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Caramel Crunch), 8 out of 10 (Oreo Brownie Twist), 9 out of 10 (Pop-Tarts Strawberry)
Nutrition Facts: Oreo Brownie Twist – 520 calories, 23 grams of fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 30 milligrams of cholesterol, 370 milligrams of sodium, 68 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 54 grams of sugar, and 10 grams of protein. Pop-Tarts Strawberry – 370 calories, 9 grams of fat, 5 grams of saturated fat, 30 milligrams of cholesterol, 210 milligrams of sodium, 65 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 52 grams of sugar, and 8 grams of protein. Caramel Crunch – 420 calories, 10 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 390 milligrams of sodium, 75 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 60 grams of sugar, and 9 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Baskin-Robbins Strawberry Tres Leches Ice Cream

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Pardon my mixing of languages, but Baskin-Robbins Strawberry Tres Leches Ice Cream is très bien. The sweet treat combines tres leches-flavored ice cream with strawberry pieces, white cake pieces, and strawberry swirls.

Although vanilla-looking, the tres leches base tasted nothing like any vanilla variety or sweet cream ice cream. Instead, there was a unique milkiness that did enough to convince me it was supposed to be three milk cake-flavored. While I believe it tasted pleasant, I wish its flavor had a bit more punch.

The same can be said about the strawberry swirls and pieces. While they had a noticeable berry flavor, they weren’t as sweet or flavorful as what I remember getting from a McDonald’s strawberry sundae. Fortunately, with the ice cream base and strawberry ingredients not being bold, neither overpowers the other, making it possible to taste both in every bite.

Much like the cake pieces in previous Baskin-Robbins offerings, the ones in this scoop were dense and chewy, which was what I expected. Because there is no way light and airy tres leches cake pieces could survive being mixed into an ice cream. As for their flavor, I think the base does a better job than the actual cake pieces at getting across the baked goods flavor.

Baskin-Robbins’ Strawberry Tres Leches Ice Cream is worth a try. However, it is not out of this world like TrES, the Trans-Atlantic Exoplanet Survey. Nor does it hit my taste buds as hard as Green Day drummer Tré Cool.

Purchased Price: $3.79
Size: 2.5 oz scoop
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 160 calories, 7 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 25 milligrams of cholesterol, 65 milligrams of sodium, 21 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 18 grams of sugar (including 14 grams of added sugar), and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Wendy’s Frosty Swirls

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Wendy’s Classic Chocolate Frosty is a top-tier fast-food dessert. Its chocolate malt flavor and icy texture are great on a spoon or on French fries. So the addition of Wendy’s Frosty Swirls that include brownie batter, caramel, or strawberry sauce twirled into the dessert must make them God-tier, right?

Well, read on, my fellow sweet tooths.

This new line follows the Girl Scout Thin Mints Frosty that came out earlier this year that featured a Thin Mints-flavored swirl. Much like that limited time offering, you can get these any way you want as long as it’s the Chocolate or Vanilla base. I got all chocolate ones with the brownie batter, caramel, and strawberry because I find the classic flavor to be the superior Frosty variety. I also was most intrigued by how well the strawberry sauce would go with the chocolate Frosty base, which I assume would create a lovely chocolate-covered strawberry flavor that would’ve been great for Valentine’s Day weeks ago.

My least favorite of the bunch was the caramel one because, for the most part, it tasted like a regular Chocolate Frosty. Despite the amount of sauce that clung to the sides of my cup, I couldn’t taste the caramel’s sweet butteriness as I ate my way down the cup. The only time I could really taste it was when I got to the bottom of the cup, where a pool of it awaited me. I imagine its flavor might’ve been more noticeable with a Vanilla Frosty.

Much like the caramel one, I believe the Brownie Batter swirl would’ve stood out more with the Vanilla Frosty. While it added some oomph to the treat’s chocolatiness in every spoonful, it didn’t make the dessert lean towards being brownie-flavored. Instead, it gave everything more of a darker chocolate flavor. What stood out more than the flavor was the swirl’s grittiness. It was similar to what was in the Thin Mints Frosty, and it added a pleasing texture to the creamy and icy Frosty base. Speaking of the Thin Mints Frosty, now that I think about it, this sauce seems to have the same chocolate flavor but without the mintiness.

If I had to pick a favorite, it would be the strawberry one. Although slightly artificial, the sweet strawberry sauce went well with the Chocolate Frosty and was noticeable in almost every spoonful. As I had hoped, it gave off a chocolate-covered strawberry vibe, which I loved. Even though the sauce had a gloopy texture, it was not noticeable among the Frosty’s iciness until I reached the bottom of the cup, where it pooled, much like the other sauces. I hope this returns next Valentine’s season.

While I liked all three, the sauces didn’t make Wendy’s Frosty Swirls a step up from a regular Classic Chocolate Frosty, but it was also not a step down. They just make things different, but not something that’ll make me want every Frosty from now on to come with swirls.

Purchased Price: $4.49 each
Size: Small
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Caramel), 7 out of 10 (Brownie Batter), 8 out of 10 (Strawberry)
Nutrition Facts: Caramel – 380 calories, 10 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 310 milligrams of sodium, 65 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 52 grams of sugar, and 10 grams of protein. Brownie Batter – 500 calories, 24 grams of fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 30 milligrams of cholesterol, 370 milligrams of sodium, 61 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 50 grams of sugar, and 10 grams of protein. Strawberry – 330 calories, 8 grams of fat, 5 grams of saturated fat, 30 milligrams of cholesterol, 160 milligrams of sodium, 59 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 50 grams of sugar, and 8 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Jack in the Box Pink Pineapple Express Shake

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Jack in the Box’s Pineapple Express Shake was one of my favorite products of 2022, and it’s come back annually since then. This year, instead of just bringing it back for the umpteenth time, the fast food chain decided also to offer a slight variation with some alliteration in its name. The Pink Pineapple Express Shake combines a thick and creamy vanilla shake base with pink pineapple flavoring that’s finished with whipped topping and a cherry.

Pomologists might be intrigued by the idea of a pink pineapple-flavored shake, but this doesn’t taste like THAT pink pineapple. What I’m talking about is the pink pineapple developed by Del Monte that uses lycopene and beta carotene to give it its Barbie-like hue. But it’s just a sweeter, less sour pineapple. However, the Pink Pineapple Express Shake does not taste like a sweeter, less tart version of the original Pineapple Express Shake.

I’ll give you one guess as to what flavor the pink represents. Go ahead, take a guess.

Don’t just peek ahead!

If you said “strawberry” without peeking, congratulations, my honest friend!

The dessert has an intense strawberry flavor that pretty much makes me forget that there’s also supposed to be pineapple. While sipping it through a straw, all I could think of was how it was giving me kids strawberry yogurt vibes. Am I sucking up a strawberry-flavored shake or strawberry Go-Gurt?

Sadly, that delightful citrusy flavor from the original Pineapple Express Shake is absent. Well, it hasn’t completely disappeared; if I focus more than anyone should on the creamy shake rolling over my tongue and savor it like a fine wine or a Diet Coke from McDonald’s, I can detect a hint of pineapple. But when I consume this, like a normal person, with reckless sucking abandon, all I detect is a tart strawberry flavor.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with Jack in the Box’s Pink Pineapple Express Shake tasting like a So Strawberry Express Shake. It’s a tasty, sweet treat that is a pleasant departure from Jack’s usual shake lineup. However, I don’t find it as delightful as the Pineapple Express Shake.

Purchased Price: $6.29*
Size: Regular
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 660 calories. No other nutritional information is available on the Jack in the Box website.

*Because I live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, things are a bit pricier here. You’ll probably pay less than I did.

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