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Cocaine Energy Drink
I NEED A YAK RIGHT NOW, SO I CAN WRESTLE IT! There’s been a lot of hype surrounding the new Cocaine Energy Drink, which doesn’t contain any illegal cocaine, but supposedly does try to recreate some of the feelings one would receive after doing a few lines of yeyo, which is Kate Moss’ favorite past time. [...]
Continue reading...The Shopping Cart #4
25 October 2006
The Shopping Cart takes a quick look at things that I’ve bought, but am too lazy to write a full review for. What I’m Addicted To That Comes From Thailand, But Isn’t Heroin or Male Prostitutes When I think of Thailand, and there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t, I wonder many things, mostly [...]
Continue reading...Firefox 2.0
25 October 2006
Recently, a new version of Firefox, one of the most popular web browsers, was released into the wild. TIB was fortunate enough to sit down with Firefox and discuss the new version. Unfortunately, I don’t speak fox, so a translator was brought in. Marvo: Aww. Awwoooo. Firefox: Grrrr!!! Firefox’s Translator: I’m [...]
Continue reading...KFC Famous Bowl
22 October 2006
BRING IT, GRIM REAPER!!! YOU AIN’T GONNA BRING ME DOWN WITH YOUR SCYTHE!!! I’ve been feeling invincible since the earthquake the other week that rocked these rocks in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. Sure, there weren’t any serious injuries, but it felt like death was coming to my door, but I just [...]
Continue reading...3 Musketeers & Milky Way Slammers
20 October 2006
Copying, cloning, imitating…it seems so easy to do, because it is. Xeroxing your ass at work, Dolly the Sheep, shitty boy bands, and the midterm exams of anyone who sat next to me in my physics, chemistry, and math classes in college are all examples of how easy it is to copy things. Although, I [...]
Continue reading...Mint Chocolate Chip Pop-Tarts
17 October 2006
(Editor’s Note: Today’s review contains links that are either Not Safe For Work (NSFW), Not Safe For Children (NSFC), or Not Safe If You Don’t Want To Have An Erection At Work (NSIYDWTHAEAW). Please click with caution. Thank you.) Did you know that every time a bell rings, an angel gets its [...]
Continue reading...Sealy Posturepedic Sapphire SE Ultra Plush Euro Pillowtop Mattress
10 October 2006
I used to sleep on a futon bed that easily transformed into a couch. If you lift one side up, the other side comes down and it forms a couch. Of course, that’s the only up and down action that futon bed has ever seen since I’ve owned it. Recently, I picked up the [...]
Continue reading...Melon Green Tea Slurpee
8 October 2006
We’ve all heard about the health benefits of green tea. It’s full of antioxidants that can help lower the risks of cancer and heart disease. Green tea advocates claim that it can help with many other things, like cognition, Alzheimers, arthritis, multiple sclerosis, weight loss, helping you look less fugly, and preventing you [...]
Continue reading...Miracle Bubbles
5 October 2006
I’ve gone through an entire bottle of Miracle Bubbles, blowing more bubbles than a bus load of bored bubble gum chewers, and I have found nothing miraculous about it. There’s as much “miracle” in it as there is in a jar of Miracle Whip. Oh wait, I’m sorry. There is one thing [...]
Continue reading...The Shopping Cart #3
1 October 2006
The Shopping Cart takes a look at things that I’ve bought, but am too lazy to write a full review for. What I’m Wearing That Shows My Inability To Properly Use Long Hard Things Yes, I don’t know how to use chopsticks, especially those damn long plastic Chinese chopsticks. My Japanese ancestors are probably rolling in their graves…Oh [...]
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26 October 2006
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