Method Sweet Water Aroma Ring

Written by | August 20, 2007

Topics: 3 Rating, Home, Method

Meditation is something I try to do whenever I want to clear my mind, body, and soul. I’ll just sit on the floor with my legs crossed, close my eyes, inhale deeply, hold each breath for a moment, and then slowly exhale. Chanting sutras are optional…and so are clothing.

I like to call my quiet place, “solitary confinement,” because just like actual prison solitary confinement it allows me to spend time alone with myself and I get away from the daily anal raping, except anal raping to me is a metaphor for the daily grind, while for inmates it’s actual anal raping.

To get to my quiet place, I need to have optimal conditions, which is somewhat similar to the conditions needed for me to get down and shake my thang on the dance floor — a large open space, not much light, and a nice aroma in the air.

The first two are easy, because I live alone with the curtains always closed, but getting a nice aroma has been difficult to accomplish. I’ve tried obtaining meditating scents through the usual means, like incense, flowers, and cheap unemployed strippers, but I can’t light incense since I can’t have an open flame in my apartment, flowers are expensive to buy on a weekly basis, and cheap unemployed strippers quickly become employed again when they either work at another club or they decide to do porn.

A relaxing scent is essential when meditating because it’s hard to align my chakra when I’m smelling my own sweaty, deodorant-less, naked body. So over the past few weeks I’ve been trying the Method Sweet Water Aroma Ring while I meditate. It consists of a plastic ring that has slots for what Method calls a “fragrance disc,” which has a liquid fragrance that diffuses through a membrane. Think of it as aroma osmosis trying to cover up the stank that is my putrid body odor.

The Method Sweet Water Aroma Ring doesn’t need electricity or batteries to operate and it contains two fragrance discs, each of which lasts up to four weeks. If you live with a roommate who doesn’t understand the concept that higher humidity minus deodorant plus more sweat equals horrible stank, you can use two of the fragrance discs at the same time in the Aroma Ring and attach it around your neck, but for most situations, only one is needed. Additional fragrance discs can be purchased in packs of two for around five dollars.

The Sweet Water’s sweet floral scent was kind of awkward at first, but just like the aroma of my own poop, I got used to it. I also thought the Aroma Ring would make a wonderful car air freshener, but apparently its membrane hates the triple-digit temperatures that my car’s interior reaches while it’s parked in the sun. After several days in my car, the edges of the fragrance disc cracked, making it sort of look like the Eye of Sauron or the eye of one really stoned mofo.

While using the Aroma Ring during my hardcore meditation sessions I could smell its sweet scent as I sat in the middle of my darkened open space, but it wasn’t strong enough to overcome the other smells circling the room, like the frozen pizza I was baking in my oven and my sweaty, deodorant-less, naked body.

According to the packaging, the Method Aroma Ring works best in smaller rooms, like bathrooms, bedrooms, walk-in porn closets, or the secret little area you hide in whenever the police come knocking on your door. Since my meditation room is a medium-sized room, it probably wasn’t the optimal place for the Aroma Ring to do its thing.

Overall, I found that the Method Sweet Water Aroma Ring can’t provide me with a nice consistent aroma in my meditation room due the room’s size. However, the Sweet Water scent was pleasant after I got used to it and the fragrance discs lasted for a good amount of time. Personally, I think I need something with a stronger scent, because my sweaty, deodorant-less, naked body is pretty stank.

Item: Method Sweet Water Aroma Ring
Price: $8.00
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 3 out of 5
Pros: Sweet Water scent was pleasant after I got used to it. Comes with two fragrance discs. No batteries or electricity needed. Fragrance discs lasts around four weeks. Biodegradable. Kid and pet friendly. No animal testing. If you’re French, instructions also come in French. Cheap unemployed strippers.
Cons: Pricey. Replacement fragrance discs are pricey. Not good enough for a consistent aroma while I meditate. Can’t use as car air freshener. Meant for smaller rooms. Scent not powerful enough for my stank body. Looks like something drunk dudes would hump. My stank sweaty, deodorant-less, naked body. Cheap employed strippers.






12 Comments For This Post I'd Love to Hear Yours!

  1. Chuck says:

    For meditation, I recommend Aromatherapy candles. Helps put you in the mood with a calming gentle light, and their scent helps mask putrid body odor.

  2. Al says:

    I’ve got the plug-in version of that scent going in my basement at the moment, and it’s scenting practically the whole house. I didn’t know the rings existed; that’d be good for my stupid closet with no air flow.

  3. Brie says:

    I also use the plug in kind; Glade has a great linen scented oil. But I think I inhaled too much at a time; I got kind of messed up and couldn’t smell anything else (except Linen) for an hour.

  4. bikerbabeee says:

    Marvo,
    You could try putting that thing on the ah.. donught holder… of your sweaty,deoderantless,naked body. The scent would be stronger and you would not need the cheap unemployed strippers as much.
    Then again,… oh nevermind.
    I like the plug in better too. works in those larger areas.

  5. Mia says:

    What exactly do cheap unemployed strippers smell like? Glitter and designer knockoff perfume?

  6. Domokun says:

    Nice scented diaphragm you got there! Perfect for the ladies who don’t feel quite so fresh, but, at the same time, like to get it on and make sperm trampoline!

  7. Erika says:

    Maybe it’s just your photography skills Marvo, but it looks like a condom. Can’t you kick it old school with some candles?

  8. Marvo says:

    Chuck – I can’t have an open flame in my place. Nor plants. Boo.

    Al – Hmm…Maybe I need the plug-in version for meditating.

    Brie – Inhaling too much at a time is a problem I have.

    bikerbabeee – The aroma ring is too small…Okay, it’s too big…Waaaay too big.

    Mia – Oh god, super strong designer knockoff perfume, especially when they shove my face into their chest.

    Domokun – If I had a hoohaa, I would be afraid to stick this up it.

    Erika – No open flames in the apartment. So no romantic candlelight dinners and showers. Boo.

  9. Natalia says:

    Everything about this looks vagina related.

  10. Vel says:

    I thought it was a super size condom.

  11. Webmiztris says:

    wow, $8…that’s kind of expensive. I’m too cheap to buy stuff like that. I like buying incense at the dollar store for a buck and making my house smell like a head shop. ;)

  12. Marvo says:

    Natalia – Oh wait, let me check if I grew one since using it. Nope.

    Vel – Yes, a porn-cock-sized condom, as my friend likes to say.

    Webmiztris – I wish most public restrooms would use incense because it would make it much more pleasant to try and not step on a wet spot.