Betty Crocker Warm Delights Minis

Hi, boys and girls. Today, we’re going to learn about sharing. Can you say sharing?

Good job!

Have you ever heard the saying, “Sharing is caring?” Well it’s true, when you share it shows you care. Sharing is fun and cool. Not sharing is bad and evil. Do you know what we call people who don’t share? Take a guess. Poopie pants? No. Meanies? No. People who don’t share are called, “assholes.” Can you say, “asshole?”

Very good!

Here in front of me I have a package of the new Betty Crocker Warm Delights Minis, that come with two 1.23-ounce bowls. They’re much smaller than the regular Betty Crocker Warm Delights.

Now boys and girls, because I have two bowls, can I share it with someone? Yes, I can share it with someone. Who should I share it with? It should be someone who deserves or needs it. A friend? Yes. A family member? Yes. An Olsen twin? Definitely. An entire Ethiopian village? Possibly. Women who walk out of Curves? Most definitely.

Now boys and girls, if you were to give a bowl of Better Crocker Warm Delights Minis to a woman who walked out of Curves after a workout, it wouldn’t affect her too much. It has only 150 calories per bowl, but don’t tell her that, because it’s more fun that way. Let the guilt spread and if they feel bad about it, they can conveniently turn around and walk back into Curves to burn it off.

It’s not evil, boys and girls. It would be evil if you gave her both bowls or if you gave her a bowl of each Warm Delights Minis flavor: Chocolate Raspberry Decadence, Molten Chocolate Cake, and Molten Caramel Cake. The important thing is that you shared it with her, and in return she’ll probably share something with you, like a dirty look or a peek at her leopard leotard covered body. Can you say “tacky?”

Great job!

A bowl of Warm Delights Minis is so easy to make that you could do it yourself without parental guidance, and if you understand measurements. Just empty the cake mix into the bowl and mix well with one tablespoon water plus one teaspoon water. Squeeze the topping pouch ten times, cut off corner of pouch, and squeeze four to six lines of the topping over the batter. Microwave uncovered on high for thirty seconds. Let stand for two minutes.

Now boys and girls, you know how the school bully uses their bad body odor and fat ass to overpower you for your lunch money? It’s sort of like how the raspberry topping for Chocolate Raspberry Decadence overpowers the chocolate cake, making it overly tart and a little too sweet. The chocolate topping with the Molten Chocolate Cake is like the shy kid in the back of the room who doesn’t like to stand out and is an average student. It didn’t really make the chocolatey cake any more chocolatey. As for the Molten Caramel Cake, it’s like a B-grade student, because they’re both good and have the potential to be really good, but for some reason they fall short. The cake in all three of them is light, fluffy, and chocolatey. Not bad for something made out of cake mix and a little water.

So remember boys and girls, sharing is caring, and if someone doesn’t want to share, you should call them an “asshole.” If they still won’t share, punch them in the face and say to them, “I just shared my fist with you.”

(Nutrition Facts – 1 bowl (varies per flavor) – 150 calories, 3.5 to 4.5 grams of fat, 1 to 2 grams of fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, zero grams of cholesterol, 160 to 180 milligrams of sodium, 25 to 26 grams of carbs, one gram of fiber, 15 to 17 grams of sugar, two grams of protein, very little calcium, very little iron, and 50 grams of sharing.)

Item: Betty Crocker Warm Delights Minis
Price: FREE
Purchased at: Received from nice PR people
Rating: 3 out of 5
Pros: Quick and easy to make. Molten Caramel Cake was the best. 150 calories per bowl. Cake was light, fluffy, and chocolatey. Feeding dessert to women who walk out of Curves. Mini bowls cover my A cup titties well.
Cons: Raspberry topping overpowered the chocolate cake. Chocolate topping didn’t seem to add anything to the cake. Trans fat. Those who wear leopard leotards.

17 thoughts on “Betty Crocker Warm Delights Minis

  1. You just shared your fist with us, huh?

    Marvo, I think all the sugar in these products is making you unstable and violent. Perhaps you should start reviewing more whole grains and vegetables.

  2. Okay…I bought the caramel one a couple of weeks ago…but as I was kneading the caramel packet, I decided that the caramel was going to be too sweet (no, I actually haven’t tasted it)…so I used peanut butter instead. Peanut butter makes these ROCK!!!

  3. “Sharing is caring”… but it’s chocolate!
    Oh, fine. If you bring the peanut butter, I’ll bring the molten chocolate.

  4. You should have tried combining the raspberry & chocolate toppings and the caramel and chocolate toppings on different cakes to cancel out the extreme sweetness of the raspberry or caramel toppings alone and the relative blandness of the chocolate topping alone. However, Danalyn’s use of peanut butter is beyond genius!

  5. Those seem like the type of food that LOOK really good, but then TASTE subpar. And I’m surprised that they have trans fat, most foods are getting away from it. PS I loved the revies – very commical.

  6. stephanie – Why is it that most bullies are fatasses? The bullies who messed with me were also fatasses, which now that I think about it, if I ran away, they wouldn’t have been able to catch me.

    webmiztris – Meh, you shouldn’t listen to what I say, because I am no expert.

    mallory – I say we call the A cup club, “The Itty Bitty Titty Committee”

    Karen – I think the crack I’m smoking is making me unstable and violent. ;-)

    Chuck – You’re going to need a manzzier?

    Danalyn – I have a couple bowls left, so I will be replacing the raspberry packet with peanut butter and see if I have an orgasm.

    Cassis – So you licked the bowl, didn’t you?

    demondoll – But what about the cake?

    Molly – If the peanut butter is good, I think I’ll save the packets for a rainy, whenever-I-have-a-woman-over day…actually it will probably be night.

    Melonie – I was surprised by the trans fat too. What is this? 2006? Come one Betty Crocker, get with it!

    Calvin – Dude, of course I shared my shit. I’m no asshole.

    Alisha – I would not want readers to have nightmares for weeks…or for some…wet dreams.

  7. Abi – I think all snacks should come with a Taebo DVD. That would help dieters.

    Cassis – I followed Danalyn’s advice and added peanut butter to it and it fucking rocks.

    aeromat – Yeah too much water ruins it. I accidently did that to one of them. I was trying to eye ball it like I had my own Food Network tv show, but failed miserably, proving that I should never have a Food Network tv show.

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