REVIEW: Betty Crocker Hot Fudge Brownie Warm Delights

A couple of months ago, Impulsive Buy reader Muneer asked if I could review the Betty Crocker Hot Fudge Brownie Warm Delights. About a month later, I picked up a package, but did so with a lot of trepidation.

When I picked it up, it was about the same time that Impulsive Buy reader Ultimate Best Vamp Ever sent me an email asking me to review the Warm Delights. I told her I would, but didn’t tell her about my dark, deep secret, which prevented me from actually trying the Warm Delights.

Finally, this week, Impulsive Buy reader Jamie also asked me if I could review the Betty Crocker Warm Delights. With this many people asking for a review of the Warm Delights, I’ve decided to overcome my fears and let you know about one of my dark, deep secrets.

I trim my pubic hairs…

Oh wait, that was the wrong dark, deep secret.

Um…the actual dark, deep secret I wanted to tell is that I REALLY suck at baking.

Much like Trivial Pursuit, Connect Four, expressing myself emotionally with women, double dutch, shuffleboard, getting girlfriends to not break up with me using pathetic amounts of begging, and getting change back after sticking a twenty dollar bill under a stripper’s thong, baking is something I’m not very successful at…especially brownies.

I’m not talking about baking brownies from scratch, because I wouldn’t even dream of attempting that. I’m talking about from the easy-to-make brownie mix box. I have attempted to make brownies twice in my life and both times I failed miserably.

The first time I made brownies was in college, while playing Crash Bandicoot on the original Playstation. I added all the ingredients, except two eggs, which I kept out to make a “healthy” brownie.

About 30 minutes later, when I had to stick a toothpick into the brownies to see if they were done, the brownies broke the toothpick because the surface of the brownies was as hard as the pan they were in. It was so hard, I could’ve probably used it if I was in a tag-team wrestling match and wanted to knock out my opponent when the referee wasn’t looking.

The second time I made brownies, I added a little too much liquid and ended up with something that was less like brownies and more like chocolate cake.

So for years, I’ve stayed away from baking brownies, because I’d like the number of failed brownie baking attempts to be significantly less than the number of David Blaine “magic” television specials.

So it was with a lot of caution that I attempted to “bake” the single-serving Hot Fudge Brownie Warm Delights. On the packaging there were several “easy” steps, but not so easy for someone who not only sucks at baking brownies and pleading with women not to leave him, but also sucks at unit conversion.

After adding the brownie mix to the provided bowl, the instructions say to just add one tablespoon of water plus one teaspoon of water. Unfortunately, I only had a tablespoon spoon and I didn’t know which unit of measurement was larger. However, this problem was quickly solved thanks to our future overlords, Google.

So after mixing the water and brownie mix, the whole thing went into the microwave for 45 seconds. Yes, only 45 seconds. Enough time to get milk from the fridge, but not enough time to get milk from a cow.

When I pulled it out of the microwave, I had a decent-sized brownie that was about four inches in diameter and three-fourths of an inch thick. It definitely had more substance than Nicole Richie.

Included with the Warm Delights kit was a pack of fudge topping, which I drizzled on top (see picture above). I was surprised by how much topping there was to put on top of the brownie. It was enough to make people say, “Would you like some brownie with that fudge topping?”

After letting it sit for a while, I dug into it with a fork. Fortunately, the fork didn’t bend. With it still being a little warm, the brownie was a little bit on the cake-y side. So since I prefer my brownies to be chewy, I ate half of it and stuck the rest in the fridge, which really didn’t do much.

Overall, it was surprisingly good. The fudge topping added a lot of flavor to it, but if you’d like to make it a little better, you might want to think about adding some ice cream on it, chocolate chips in it, or going to your friend’s place that always smells like incense and getting some “special” ingredients to put in it that they grow hydroponically in their closet.

Item: Betty Crocker Hot Fudge Brownie Warm Delights
Purchase Price: $2.00 (on sale)
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Tasty with the fudge topping. Lots of fudge topping. Takes less than five minutes to make. Convenient. Microwaveable. More substance than Nicole Richie. Trimmed pubic hair.
Cons: A little too cake-y for me. My abilities to make brownies from a boxed mix. David Blaine. My ability to express myself emotionally with women. My unit conversion skills.

38 thoughts to “REVIEW: Betty Crocker Hot Fudge Brownie Warm Delights”

  1. Ooooh Nicki has scoop on you! I *so* love scoop. And you pine from afar! Will there by haikus expressing your longing on The Other Blog?

    I thought people with English degrees mostly went to law school.

    I always say if the whole lawyer thing doesn’t work out (or I hit the MegaMillions lottery), I’m going to go to culinary school.

  2. I used to date a guy who preferred a shorn scrotum. Bleh, he was an asshole.

    My bf and I actually have a chef as a next door neighbor. He’s a graduate of the California School of Culinary Arts in Pasadena. One time my bf invited him and his roommate over to watch movies with us, but they were kind of busy and instead gave us these red velvet cupcakes with cream cheese frosting. They. Were. Amazing. I wish I could get the recipe, but I’m sure he’s not one to share those types of things.

  3. Come on, Marvo, you can’t say you’re bad at something just because you didn’t have success at it the first two times you attempted it! I know you’re not dating right now, but you HAVE dated in the past, and I bet you didn’t get a girlfriend after asking someone out on a date only twice. Practice makes perfect!

  4. Hey, I was thinking about something my mom did when she had hard brownies. She took some sugar and cherry brandy and mixed them together in a bowl and then poured the mixture over some hard cake. In no time, we had a delicious and moist (read that as able to cut through) dessert! No reason one couldn’t substitute creme de menth or rum on brownies. Its not herbal, but it would be good in a different way.

  5. Yes… Marvo I’ve tried the warm delights before, and I assure you, they are perfect for adding those “special ingredients”.

  6. kiki – Naked major league baseball!?! That must be painful without a cup.

    Nicki – Yeah, but she already has a boyfriend. Besides not even brownies can overcome my looks. 😉

    Amber LB – I prefer writing love poems on paper, then folding the paper into a plane, and flying the plane into her window.

    Gia on Guam – When you’ve got your own restaurant, you can make your employees cook for you, so you’ll never need to worry about cooking for yourself.

    Toni – I think I know what the recipe is. Cream cheese, cupcakes, and love. 😉

    Sasha_Kitty – An interracial or German porno ad.

    Chuck – Yes, after years of practicing making out with my pillow, I believe that I am an awesome kisser. Not Superman sucking out Lois Lane’s memory good, but almost there.

    Thumper – I realize that this comment is a few days later, but I hope you got to try it. THEN!!!

    MrCorey – I’m afraid I would drink the rum and then not have enough for the brownies. Then I would be so drunk that I would actually try to eat the brownies, chipping my teeth in the process.

    Karen – Such a one track mind. 😉

  7. Great job Marvo. I thought it tasted really good. Cut the choclate chip one like this tasted like doody.

    Sorry I am a little late. Been too busy to read by blogroll.

  8. Sevy – Yes, I dew.

    Muneer – I didn’t see the chocolate chip one, but I did try the cake one. That one was good too. I thought the most tastiest powdery substance mixed with water was paste, but now it’s probably this…Or jello.

  9. oh fine. i guess all you need to get something DONE around here is be muneer, ultimate best vamp ever, or jamie. if THEY say “review something”, then we get a review. that’s just great. boy o BOY. i suppose we should be grateful. at least now we know who’s calling the shots. (p.s. that’s some great drizzlin…)

  10. If it wasn’t for all the talk about shorn pubic-y areas I might be craving brownies now….who am I kidding, I’m always craving brownies.

  11. Sarah – Yes, Sandra Lee should be stopped. Or be put in a bikini mud wrestling match with Rachael Ray.

    Mia – Brownies are the quicker-picker-upper, except when there’s weed involved, then it’s the opposite.

Comments are closed.