REVIEW: Funyuns With Wasabi

Funyuns With Wasabi

(Editor’s Note #1: It’s the final day of Reader Request Week here at the Impulsive Buy and today’s review comes from the same person who requested the first review this week, lightpinksheep. This time we will be reviewing the scary, yet intriguing Funyuns With Wasabi.

Don’t know what wasabi is? Well read on.)

(Editor’s Note #2: The following review features stunts performed either by professionals or a not-so-bright quasi-product review blog editor. Accordingly, the Impulsive Buy must insist that no one attempt to recreate or re-enact any stunt or activity performed in this review.)

Otherwise known as Japanese horseradish, wasabi is a very spicy condiment, sort of like mustard, except with wasabi, you may experience pain comparable to having your nipples twisted with metal clamps.

No wait, that actually feels kind of good.

Wasabi is so spicy that it has been known to make grown men cry. It’s green in color and is usually eaten with sushi.

To prepare for this review of Funyuns With Wasabi, I decided that I needed to remember what wasabi tastes like, because the only time I ever tried it was for a dare in college, which involved me consuming a pea-sized dollop of wasabi.

Well the experience was so traumatic, that I don’t remember what wasabi tastes like. All I remember from that is a blur of constant glasses of water and laughter directed towards me. Oh, and the dollar I earned for doing it.

The dollar was sooo not worth it.

As I said before, wasabi has been known to make grown men cry. I’m a total wuss, so imagine how much of a little crybaby I became when I put a dime-sized dollop of wasabi into my mouth to try and jolt my memory of what it tastes like.

Let me tell you, it did jolt.

After swearing like a sailor, drinking several glasses of water and milk, and wiping the tears away from my eyes, my mouth slowly returned to normal. The taste and burning sensations of wasabi are now tattooed on my brain permanently.

Now that I remembered what wasabi tastes like, I could now move forward and try these new Funyuns With Wasabi.

After I opened the bag, I could instantly smell a hint of wasabi coming from it. I gagged a little bit, but composed myself and began chomping them down.

I could definitely taste the wasabi. It’s not even close to being as strong as eating wasabi straight, but I could feel a slight spicy burn from them. I got through about one-sixth of the bag and then I had to stop. I couldn’t eat anymore, so I them gave them to my friend, who ate the rest of the bag.

He thought they were pretty good.

I guess mathematically someone in the world had to.

Item: Funyuns With Wasabi
Purchased Price: $1.29
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Unusual flavor. Waaay better than eating just wasabi. Eating wasabi straight makes for a wonderful dare or prank. My friend likes them.
Cons: The wasabi flavor is definitely not for everyone. Slight spicy burn. Leave eating straight wasabi to professionals and not-so-bright quasi-product review blog editors.

20 thoughts to “REVIEW: Funyuns With Wasabi”

  1. i’d never try these even on a dare.. i just don’t like wasabi at all. it’s not the spice, really. it’s the flavor of horseradish. yuck.

  2. Julie – Nope, they are the same yellow color that we all know and love. But a tint of green would’ve made them pretty cool and given them a nice puke color.

    Jamie – Ugh! I’ll patent it, but I won’t eat it.

    suki – I’ll give you a dollar if you try them. 😉

  3. I miss Crystal Pepsi…

    I don’t think I could bring myself to try the Wasabi Funyuns. A friend once sent me a bag of Wasabi Peas, and I barely touched one to my tongue before the pain started. Had I actually placed it in my mouth, I think my tongue and the roof of my mouth would have been covered in blisters, and they would have gotten infected, and I would have died.


    Wasabi is evil.

  4. Melissa – I don’t know about staying off the crack. It keeps me warm at night and I enjoy the hallucinations. Also, Pepsi Blue kicked Crystal Pepsi’s ass.

    Thumper – “Wasabi is evil.” You know, that would make a great t-shirt.

  5. A little wasabi goes a long way! I’ve never seen these funyuns you speak of! ‘But you could roll it in rice and call it an evil roll.

  6. Suzanne – I think if you killed a puppy (or any cute animal), cut it up, and rolled it in rice, that would be considered an “Evil Roll.”

  7. I LOVE wasabi. First tried it when I lived in Japan in the mid 80s. A dime sized dollop is a bit much though if you’re not used to it. A little wasabi goes a long way. I’d actually try the Wasabi Fung-uns but I have a feeling they don’t fall into any real food group.

  8. Two comments:

    1.) My family and I were at a japanese buffet restaurant one time and my grandpa put this HUGE dollop of wasabi on his food. For some bizarre reason he thought it was guacamole. He took a big bite of food covered with the stuff and learned very quickly that it wasn’t guacamole. Needless to say, he spat out the food and didn’t eat the rest of it. Good thing we were at a buffet.

    2.) Although my 1 1/2 years of living in Japan allowed me to be more accustomed to wasabi, I still won’t touch any wasabi flavored stuff, like the peas. I can be a wuss when it comes to spicy food. Hell, I can’t even do Spicy Cheetos. And I like Cheetos.

  9. Grins – Funyuns fall into the “Foods We Shouldn’t Be Eating” food group. It’s waaay at the bottom of the food pyramid.

    Toni – I’m surprised your grandpa couldn’t smell the wasabi before he put it in his mouth. The smell of wasabi also burns.

  10. First off, Marvo, the Funyuns would be way at the top of the food pyramid, where the least amount of our “nutrition” should come from.

    Secondly: I am a wasabi fiend. My husband always shakes his head at me when I order sushi, because he knows a tear fest is in the works. I’m crying and smiling at the same time. I do this with prime rib and full strength horseradish, too. Oooooh, it hurts so good.

    Third: If you still have the codex for WP 1.5, you must email it to me (it’s currently not available online). Send it over with a dollop of wasabi, please.

  11. Mellie – Oh, I’m sorry. I was looking at the Junk Food Pyramid, which also happens to be upside down.

  12. Since they aren’t green, I could dare try one. I don’t eat any green crunchy things…Same thing with those guacamole Dorito’s they came out with for awhile….Green shouldn’t crunch. It goes against everything I stand for.

  13. This has to be one of the strangest permutations of a product that I’ve ever seen. I mean, what the hell is a “funyon” in the first place. Is there actually any organic onion substance in a funyon? I doubt it. Aren’t they completely synthetic in the first place? So why they got go get all upscale with wasabi. If they wanted an interesting taste combination, they could have just doused them with gasoline. That would have been more in line with the essence of the funyon.

  14. i need to try this. my friend got me some wasabi cashews from trader joe’s. they are like cashews in a wasabi-crust. they are way too strong but i have built up my tolerance.

  15. kimdog – I think Funyuns are in the same category as hot dogs and other sausages. I don’t know what’s in them, but all I know is that they taste good.

    lightpinksheep – Wasabi-crust? Bleh! I think my tongue would hide at the back of my throat if it sensed one of those wasabi cashews coming.

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