Tag: Funyuns

I once played this video game… I don’t remember the exact name, but the object was to find as many golden rings as possible.

This furry blue dude ran around collecting them so that he could eventually buy his freedom from a mad scientist shaped like an egg. His name was “Static” or something. I think it was based on a true story.

Anyway, those golden rings always reminded me of Funyuns. Why? I don’t know. This is clearly a fake story, so just go with it. I mean, come on, who’s never heard of Sarnac the Muskrat?

I’ll say this: if ol’ Sarnac had to collect Spicy Queso Funyuns, he’d probably just end up keeping them all for himself and dealing with the consequences.

Yeah, those exist. In a rare move, Frito Lay has let Funyuns branch out with a new Spicy Queso flavor.

I needed a little ring redemption after my last review of Snyder’s Oktoberfest Rings, and while I liked these a lot, I gotta let you know the bad before the good – they don’t really taste like Funyuns.

I believe they set out to add a cheese flavor to the iconic flavor, but the onion essence basically gets spiced out. It’s a bit of a bummer, but I suggest approaching these as Funyuns in shape and texture form only. If you’re familiar with Frito Lay’s queso dip, I think these actually tasted like it in crisp form, so there’s some good brand synergy there.

As I crunched on, I started getting flavor vibes of two other snacks – Andy Capp’s Hot Fries and the recent Chili Cheese Doritos 3D’s. If you know Hot Fries, the heat level is slightly below those, but they have very similar textures. The lingering level of spice and cheesiness reminded me of 3Ds, although those leaned more towards a “beefy” chili flavor, so just imagine a Funyun ring that tastes like a spicy cheddar with a pinch of jalapeño. I’ve never tried Flamin’ Hot Funyuns, but I suspect those are slightly hotter overall.

As far as the crunch goes, I was pleasantly surprised. I’ve compared Funyuns to Cap’n’ Crunch in the past because they usually tear my palate up. Thankfully, that didn’t happen here because the usual mouth shred paired with a spicy flavor probably would’ve destroyed my tastebuds.

Overall, these are very solid, but I was completely satisfied with a small bag. The flavor is nice, but I wish the typical Funyun flavor was ramped up. I’ve never dipped an onion ring in queso, so who knows, these could be 100% accurate. They’re not an improvement on the originals but a strong spinoff. As far as ring-based snack reviews go, I’m batting .500.

Maybe this will lead to further expansions of the Funyuns brand. Trader Joe’s used to make a Sweet Onion-flavored Funyun knockoff that was elite, and I’d love to see Frito-Lay try that next.

Here’s hoping my next review isn’t ring-based because I don’t feel like doing a bit about watching that one horror movie. It was about a ghost mime coming out of a videotape or something. I think it’s based on a true story.

Purchased Price: $2.49
Size: 2 1/8 oz bag
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (about 13 pieces) 140 calories, 6 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 160 milligrams of sodium, 19 grams of total carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of total sugars, less than 1 gram of fiber, and 2 grams of protein.

Of all the snacks in the crunchy family and salty genus, Funyuns remain one of the more overlooked specimens. Like the wild Australian Dingo, it defies simple classification. Are Funyuns onion rings? Nope. Are they fun? Not really. What exactly do they taste like? Um…you get the point.

Still, like the untamed dog-wolf hybrid that only lives in the Australian dessert, the corn-based, popped onion ring-shaped “things” have their place. Granted, this place is usually confined to the tops of guilty-pleasure snack lists and last second checkout line additions, but there’s nothing wrong with that.

In fact, I’d go so far to say that Funyuns are easily one of the most underrated snacks on the market. That’s why I had to get my hands on one of the few flavor variations we’ve ever seen from Funyuns — the new Steakhouse Onion Flavored Rings.

If you’re expecting a trip to the Australian Outback Outback Steakhouse in the strip mall down the street, you may be disappointed. Consuming a Bloomin’ Onion appetizer (preferably on your own) is an experience unto itself, and I would never deny a skilled botanist the chance to cultivate what is essentially a 2000 calorie deep fried allium in the shape of a sagebrush.

Still, the Funyuns Steakhouse Onion Rings capture that zesty flavor and crisped texture which makes “onion-flavored” a flavor, while providing just enough savory and salty corn aftertaste to remind you that you’re not actually eating a raw onion, which would probably be pretty disgusting.

The thing is, they’re not terribly different from the standard Funyuns, a fact which could either be good or bad depending on your stance on Funyuns. The additional flavor—in reality just a bit of tomato-y sweetness, black pepper, and garlic seasoning—is moderate, but doesn’t win the battle for the aftertaste, which remains distinctively like the classic Funyun.

Similarly, the there’s no texture variation from your good ‘ol Funyuns. For me that’s a big deal. I love the aerated fried crispness of Funyuns, which in a lot of ways remind me of Asian shrimp chips, but I can see how the lack of a really substantial crunch can be problematic. Likewise, the salty corn and onion powder aftertaste which characterizes regular Funyuns still wins the flavor fight, so unless you’re already well indoctrinated into team zesty onion ring snack, it’s unlikely you’ll be swayed over by the additional seasoning.

Funyuns Steakhouse Onions rings have all the great characteristics that have helped to make Funyuns such a niche (some might say cultish) snack, with just enough zest and seasoning to kind of sort of taste like Outback Steakhouse’s iconic appetizer. They won’t leave you saying “g’day,” and aren’t going to win over any new converts from the chip world, but they make a great addition for those of us looking for a new take on a guilty pleasure snack.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 ounce – 140 calories, 50 calories from fat, 6 grams of fat, 1.0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 270 milligrams of sodium, 19 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 1 gram of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.)

Item: Funyuns Steakhouse Onion Flavored Rings
Purchased Price: $3.28
Size: 6 oz. bag
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Classic Funyuns texture and fried crunch. Zesty seasoning is a bit sweet, a bit salty, and very garlicky and peppery. Aftertaste combines the best of the shrimp chip world with the best of the corn nuts world. The wild Dingo of the chip aisle.
Cons: Not an acceptable substitute for an iconic Outback Steakhouse appetizer. Seasoning adds only moderate flavor value. Strong corn aftertaste may be distracting for some. The inconsistent spelling and phonetic usage of “onion” compared to “Funyun.”

(Editor’s Note #1: It’s the final day of Reader Request Week here at the Impulsive Buy and today’s review comes from the same person who requested the first review this week, lightpinksheep. This time we will be reviewing the scary, yet intriguing Funyuns With Wasabi.

Don’t know what wasabi is? Well read on.)

(Editor’s Note #2: The following review features stunts performed either by professionals or a not-so-bright quasi-product review blog editor. Accordingly, the Impulsive Buy must insist that no one attempt to recreate or re-enact any stunt or activity performed in this review.)

Otherwise known as Japanese horseradish, wasabi is a very spicy condiment, sort of like mustard, except with wasabi, you may experience pain comparable to having your nipples twisted with metal clamps.

No wait, that actually feels kind of good.

Wasabi is so spicy that it has been known to make grown men cry. It’s green in color and is usually eaten with sushi.

To prepare for this review of Funyuns With Wasabi, I decided that I needed to remember what wasabi tastes like, because the only time I ever tried it was for a dare in college, which involved me consuming a pea-sized dollop of wasabi.

Well the experience was so traumatic, that I don’t remember what wasabi tastes like. All I remember from that is a blur of constant glasses of water and laughter directed towards me. Oh, and the dollar I earned for doing it.

The dollar was sooo not worth it.

As I said before, wasabi has been known to make grown men cry. I’m a total wuss, so imagine how much of a little crybaby I became when I put a dime-sized dollop of wasabi into my mouth to try and jolt my memory of what it tastes like.

Let me tell you, it did jolt.

After swearing like a sailor, drinking several glasses of water and milk, and wiping the tears away from my eyes, my mouth slowly returned to normal. The taste and burning sensations of wasabi are now tattooed on my brain permanently.

Now that I remembered what wasabi tastes like, I could now move forward and try these new Funyuns With Wasabi.

After I opened the bag, I could instantly smell a hint of wasabi coming from it. I gagged a little bit, but composed myself and began chomping them down.

I could definitely taste the wasabi. It’s not even close to being as strong as eating wasabi straight, but I could feel a slight spicy burn from them. I got through about one-sixth of the bag and then I had to stop. I couldn’t eat anymore, so I them gave them to my friend, who ate the rest of the bag.

He thought they were pretty good.

I guess mathematically someone in the world had to.

Item: Funyuns With Wasabi
Purchased Price: $1.29
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Unusual flavor. Waaay better than eating just wasabi. Eating wasabi straight makes for a wonderful dare or prank. My friend likes them.
Cons: The wasabi flavor is definitely not for everyone. Slight spicy burn. Leave eating straight wasabi to professionals and not-so-bright quasi-product review blog editors.