Author: Mark

QUICK REVIEW: Market Pantry Sugar Cookie Milk

Mark 1 Comment

Market Pantry Sugar Cookie Milk

What is Market Pantry’s Sugar Cookie Milk?

Target’s store brand has created a new holiday milk, meant to taste like sugar cookies. It has only five ingredients: milk, sugar, natural flavor, carrageenan, and vitamin D3.

How is it?

Market Pantry Sugar Cookie Milk 2

As I first drank it, the flavor was extraordinarily familiar to me. It was on the tip of my tongue (literally), but I couldn’t quite place it. Then it came to me: caramel corn.

This milk tastes exactly like caramel popcorn. But without those annoying kernels that get stuck between your teeth!

So, does it taste like what it’s supposed to? Well, it could. There are so many sugar cookie recipes that there’s probably one out there that tastes like caramel corn. I did detect a bit of butteriness, a key ingredient of sugar cookies. There was also a vibe of baked goods. I like it, but it doesn’t taste like any sugar cookies I have had.

Is there anything else I need to know?

Unopened, this milk has a longer shelf life than typical unflavored milk. It’s early November, yet the best-by date is Christmas Eve.

Conclusion:

Market Pantry Sugar Cookie Milk 3

I don’t like this as much as chocolate milk, and it doesn’t really taste like sugar cookies, but I had no problem consuming a whole glass of it. And it has half the calories of eggnog, making it a not-quite-as-bad-for-you option for a holiday party.

Purchased Price: $2.49
Size: 1 quart
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 cup) 200 calories, 7 grams of fat, 4.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 25 milligrams of cholesterol, 100 milligrams of sodium, 26 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 26 grams of total sugars, 15 grams of added sugars, and 7 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Starbucks Witch’s Brew Frappuccino

Mark 1 Comment

Starbucks Witch's Brew Frappuccino

“What’s that? [Bat]’s wart, mmm! And [toad]’s breath? Nothing’s more suspicious than [toad]’s breath! Until you taste it, I won’t follow a spoonful.”

So apparently the folks over at Starbucks weren’t quite creative enough to come up with their own ingredients for the Witch’s Brew Frappuccino, so they had to take worm’s wart and frog’s breath from Sally’s soup on The Nightmare before Christmas, and they replaced the animals to avoid copyright infringement. I’m surprised they didn’t add deadly lampshade in place of deadly nightshade.

According to various official descriptions, this purple concoction also has swamp fog, goblin regret (whatever that is), and lizard scales.

I’ve got to hand it to Starbucks: this is a visually stunning drink. The orange-flavored purple base, the green-colored chia seeds, and the green sugar on top of whipped cream. Purple and green will never overthrow orange and black as the ultimate Halloween colors, but this is a fittingly spooky treat.

Will this brew gain the approval of Samantha Stephens, Winifred Sanderson, Sabrina Spellman, and Minerva McGonagall? Ehh.

While I was waiting for my drink, I overheard the barista talking disparagingly about it with a man who I assume was his boss. I didn’t dislike it like they did, but it wasn’t amazing.

The purple base tastes like generic orange Creamsicle. It was a nice enough flavor, but halfway through my Tall drink, I couldn’t really taste it. I don’t know whether I had sucked all the flavor out (like with a Slurpee), or if I had gotten numb to it. Regardless, the second half wasn’t as tasty as the first.

Starbucks Witch's Brew Frappuccino 3

The slimy, green chia seeds (bat warts, I assume) were disappointing. They had no flavor, and they seemed out of place in this drink. It’s nice to break up the monotony in a drink like this, but the chia seeds weren’t the best way to do it. At least you’re getting a minuscule amount of nutrients from their presence, right?

Starbucks Witch's Brew Frappuccino 4

Oddly enough, my favorite part might have been the green-colored sugar (lizard scales?) resting on the whipped cream. I don’t think it’s supposed to taste like anything, but it seemed better than regular sugar. But I doubt you’re supposed to consume it separately.

Starbucks Witch's Brew Frappuccino 5

If you want to try Starbucks’ Witch’s Brew Frappuccino for the seasonal novelty of it, then go for it. It’s not terrible. I love these holiday gimmicks; also, I don’t drink coffee, so I was glad to have another alternative at Starbucks. It’s a fun offering.

If, however, you’re hoping for a delicious drink, there are better ways to spend five dollars.

Purchased Price: $4.95
Size: Tall
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (Tall) 270 calories, 100 calories from fat, 11 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 170 milligrams of sodium, 39 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 35 grams of sugar, 4 grams of protein, and 0 milligrams of caffeine.

REVIEW: Ben & Jerry’s Exclusive Flavor Minter Wonderland

Mark 2 Comments

Ben Jerry s Exclusive Flavor Minter Wonderland

“Imagine a wild ride through the wintriest, chocolate mintiest wonderland of ice cream filled with crunchy cookie swirls and marshmallowy drifts. Honestly, if this flavor was a toboggan, you’d already be on it.”

So says the back label of Ben & Jerry’s Minter Wonderland, which is dark chocolate mint ice cream with marshmallow swirls and chocolate cookie swirls. If it was a toboggan, I totally would be on it. They’re right. But “wintriest” and “chocolate mintiest”? Not so fast with those superlatives!

As a mint-thusiast, I was hoping for a more potent mint flavor. After all, that’s the only element that’s actually mentioned in the name. It’s barely there, and it’s the least noticeable part of the ice cream. I wouldn’t call it especially wintry or Christmassy.

Ben & Jerry's Exclusive Flavor Minter Wonderland 2

I’m guessing part of the wintry claim is the chocolate and marshmallow combination, reminiscent of hot cocoa. Dark chocolate is the dominant flavor. But this isn’t the dark chocolate of those snooty bars that brag about their cacao percentage. It’s more like a Dove dark chocolate, and it works well here.

Ben Jerry s Exclusive Flavor Minter Wonderland 4

It doesn’t take long for the surface area of the ice cream to start melting and smearing on the bowl. In its melted form, the cream is like a rich, delectable chocolate sauce. No complaints here.

Ben Jerry s Exclusive Flavor Minter Wonderland 3

The marshmallow swirl, which looks like the gooey interior of a roasted campfire marshmallow, is interesting to gaze at, but it was hard for me to even notice it in my mouth when it was with the ice cream. When I isolated it, it had an undeniable marshmallow taste and a bouncy texture.

By far the best part of this concoction is the chocolate cookie pieces. They’re chewy and gritty, but gritty in a good way. The back label calls it a crunchy cookie, but it’s more like a cross between a cookie and a brownie. They’re so good that I might say I would like more, but that’s not entirely fair; there already is a good ice cream to cookie ratio.

This flavor is exclusive to Target. That might seem like an inconvenience, but let’s be honest: isn’t it always great to have an excuse for a Target run?

Ben & Jerry’s Minter Wonderland is a wonderful ice cream. But I hoped it would have a stronger mint flavor, and I don’t think it’s particularly groundbreaking. It’s mostly just cookies/brownies in chocolate ice cream.

Purchased Price: $3.33
Size: 1 pint
Purchased at: Target (Exclusive Flavor)
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1/2 cup) 270 calories, 140 calories from fat, 15 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 45 milligrams of cholesterol, 60 milligrams of sodium, 31 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of dietary fiber, 24 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein

QUICK REVIEW: Brach’s Unicorn Horns and Dragon’s Teeth Candy Corn

Mark 1 Comment

Brach's Unicorn Horns Fruity Candy Corn

What are Brach’s Unicorn Horns and Dragon’s Teeth Candy Corn?

Brach’s has joined the unicorn fad with its new Unicorn Horns Fruity Candy Corn, which has five different flavors in pastel colors.

Brach's Dragon's Teeth Candy Corn

Also joining the party is Dragon’s Teeth Candy Corn, which has yellow and brown candies that taste like chocolate, and red and white candies that taste like strawberry.

How are they?

Brach's Unicorn Horns Fruity Candy Corn 2

Let’s start with the Unicorn Horns. Although it says there are five fruity flavors, it doesn’t identify what those flavors are. The yellow and lighter orange are obviously lemon and orange. The darker orange is either mango or melon. The pink might be strawberry? And I assume the purple is grape, but I can’t taste that.

These aren’t plain fruit flavors; they’re more of a fruit and cream. The yellow and both oranges have a satisfying taste, and the yellow is noticeably softer than the other colors. The pink is OK, but I don’t care for the purple. Overall, though, it’s a delightful candy amalgamation, in part for the kitsch factor.

Brach's Dragon's Teeth Candy Corn 2

Now for the Dragon’s Teeth. (It’s just one dragon, apparently.) The chocolate ones taste the same as the Harvest Corn (formerly known as Indian Corn). The strawberry ones have a decidedly artificial flavor; I would have guessed it was cherry. Unlike the Unicorn Horns, there is no creaminess to it. It’s an OK combination.

Is there anything else I need to know?

The Unicorn Horns have a disclaimer that “no unicorns were harmed in the making of this product.” There is no such disclaimer for the Dragon’s Teeth. So I’m guessing Brach’s actually had to slay the dragon.

Conclusion:

I liked Brach’s Unicorn Horns more than I expected. They remind me of the Starburst Candy Corn from a few years ago. But you can take a pass on the Dragon’s Teeth.

Purchased Price: $1.69 each
Size: 9 oz. bags
Purchased at: Smith’s (Kroger)
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Unicorn Horns)
Rating: 5 out of 10 (Dragon’s Teeth)
Nutrition Facts: (15 pieces) Unicorn Horns – 110 calories, 0 grams of fat, 60 milligrams of sodium, 28 grams of carbohydrates, 23 grams of sugar (including 23 grams of added sugars), and 0 grams of protein. Dragon’s Teeth – 110 calories, 0 grams of fat, 60 milligrams of sodium, 28 grams of carbohydrates, 21 grams of sugar (including 21 grams of added sugars), and 0 grams of protein.

QUICK REVIEW: Limited Edition Chocolatey Winter Lucky Charms Cereal

Mark 4 Comments

Limited Edition Chocolatey Winter Lucky Charms Cereal

What is it?

General Mills has launched a new festive cereal just in time for the holidays.

Except that it isn’t new. Chocolatey Winter Lucky Charms is just regular Chocolate Lucky Charms with the marshmallows from last year’s Cinnamon Vanilla version.

How is it?

Limited Edition Chocolatey Winter Lucky Charms Cereal 2

Limited Edition Chocolatey Winter Lucky Charms Cereal 3

I am disappointed that this cereal is so unoriginal. But I’m not that disappointed, because Chocolate Lucky Charms is great, and I would even say it’s better than the original. It’s OK dry, but it creates chocolate milk, which makes consumption delightful.

Limited Edition Chocolatey Winter Lucky Charms Cereal 6

I wonder if this cereal is an attempt to be a hot cocoa flavor, since it already has the essential elements of chocolate and marshmallow. So I heated up some milk and ate it in a mug. The marshmallows became foamy and dissolved, just like the marshmallows in a packet of Swiss Miss. It takes a lot of cereal to make the milk chocolatey, but this would be a comforting breakfast or snack when it’s actually cold outside (i.e. not September).

Is there anything else I need to know?

Limited Edition Chocolatey Winter Lucky Charms Cereal 4

This cereal contains my biggest yuletide pet peeve: eight-pointed snowflakes. Snowflakes only have six points, people! It’s basic science!

Limited Edition Chocolatey Winter Lucky Charms Cereal 5

Scientific inaccuracy aside, I cannot possibly think of anything more appropriate for someone to eat while watching The Leprechauns’ Christmas Gold.

Conclusion:

If you’re looking for something new, this isn’t what you want. But it’s a fun tweak to a classic cereal.

Purchased Price: $3.64
Size: 21.2 oz. box
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (3/4 cup) 100 calories, 10 calories from fat, 1 gram of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 0.5 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 150 milligrams of sodium, 65 milligrams of potassium, 23 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of dietary fiber, 10 grams of sugar, 12 grams of other carbohydrates, and 1 gram of protein.