Author: Mark

REVIEW: Kellogg’s The Elf on the Shelf North Pole Snow Creme Cereal

Mark 3 Comments

Kellogg s The Elf on the Shelf North Pole Snow Creme Cereal Box

What is it?

The Elf on the Shelf line of cereals* has a new Walmart-exclusive flavor that “magically cools your mouth as you eat.”

*I can’t believe Elf on the Shelf is now a line of cereals, plural.

How is it?

Kellogg s The Elf on the Shelf North Pole Snow Creme Cereal Dry

Let’s start with the promise of cooling. When I eat a piece dry, I do notice a sensation in my mouth, one that I don’t get from other cereals. Is it cooling? I don’t know; you might be able to convince me it’s a warming sensation.

Kellogg s The Elf on the Shelf North Pole Snow Creme Cereal Milk

But in milk, the feeling is diluted. I do get some kind of cooling phenomenon when I drink the leftover milk, but that might just be the literal temperature.

I compared the ingredients with the Elf on the Shelf Sugar Cookie Cereal, and it appears that the magic ingredient is calcium carbonate. Any geologist worth their halite* can tell you that’s limestone.

*salt

As for the flavor, I have no idea what “North Pole Snow Creme” is. But the waffle cone on the box suggests that it’s supposed to be vanilla. It does taste like vanilla, which is hard to mess up. But really, this just tastes like any other generically sweet corn cereal.

Kellogg s The Elf on the Shelf North Pole Snow Creme Cereal No Marshmallows

The marshmallows are so rare that Kellogg’s needn’t have bothered.

Anything else you need to know?

I compared this new cereal with the Sugar Cookie variety, and the Snow Creme version is better. So if you’re at Walmart, there’s no need to pick up that red and green variety.

The wintry color scheme of this cereal is my favorite part.

Conclusion:

The Elf on the Shelf branding means this cereal is an opportunistic cash grab, not a worthwhile cereal on its own. The “cooling” sensation is too subtle to be, well, cool.

Purchased Price: $4.48
Size: 12.2 oz. box
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 1/3 cup, 39 grams) 140 calories, 1 gram of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 0 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 200 milligrams of sodium, 34 grams of carbohydrates, 4 grams of dietary fiber, 13 grams of sugar (including 13 grams of added sugar), and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Burger King Ghost Pepper Whopper

Mark 15 Comments

Burger King Ghost Pepper Whopper Whole

Between pumpkinundation and trick-or-treating, there’s a lot of sugar to consume at this time of year. So it’s refreshing when companies bring something spooky to savory foods for a change. Burger King gave us Halloween Whoppers in 2015, 2018, 2019, and this year it brought the concept back.

Burger King’s website describes the 2022 version, the Ghost Pepper Whopper, as “1/4 lb. flame-grilled beef patty, melty Ghost Pepper cheese, bacon, crispy jalapeños, and queso sauce all on a toasted orange and black sesame seed bun.” Apparently, spicy things are for Halloween now just because one pepper has “ghost” in its name.

Burger King Ghost Pepper Whopper Orange Bun

When I unwrapped my sandwich, it struck me how beautiful the bun was! A perfectly festive orange with black sesame seeds. It’s stunning, and that alone is worth the purchase. Much better than the greenish bun of the 2018 sandwich. Visuals aside, it’s soft and slightly sweet. It’s just a bun, but it gets the job done!

Let’s go through the toppings from top to bottom:

Burger King Ghost Pepper Whopper Jalapeno Chips Queso

The queso sauce has a standard nacho flavor but with a kick. I don’t always love queso, but I like this one.

The crispy jalapeños have the texture of potato chips, and I like them better than fresh or canned jalapeños. They provide a welcome textural contrast, and the crisps bring the heat without the hiccups. BK made a solid choice here.

Burger King Ghost Pepper Whopper Bacon

The bacon is as good as any, and it’s neither too chewy nor too crispy.

The ghost pepper cheese is the only element that’s lacking for me. It just tastes like regular American cheese. If it has a pepper flavor, it’s drowned out by the queso and the jalapeños.

The beef patty was everything I hoped from a BK burger: substantive and with the perfect amount of chew.

Burger King Ghost Pepper Whopper Bites

Altogether, these elements made for a tasty sandwich. Sometimes I didn’t enjoy having both the cheese and the queso; I might have liked it better without the Ghost Pepper cheese. But that’s just me.

Now, as for the spiciness: I didn’t find the burger that spicy. My nose ran a little, but I ate the whole sandwich without needing to drink anything. People hoping it will be as spicy as an actual ghost pepper will be disappointed. But the mildness means that a larger segment of the population will get to enjoy this fantastically festive burger.

The previous iterations of spooky Whoppers didn’t rise from the dead on subsequent Halloweens. But I wouldn’t mind if this one did.

UPDATE: Thanks to our readers’ helpful comments, I realized that I originally got plain American cheese instead of the ghost pepper cheese it was supposed to be. So I went to a different location on a different day and got the real cheese.

Burger King Ghost Pepper Whopper Actual Cheese

It has a discernible kick, and it’s much better than the American cheese. This burger also came with a more generous helping of jalapeño crisps, so overall it was noticeably spicier. I definitely got the hiccups this time. But still, most people should be able to handle it.

Purchased Price: $6.99
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 750 calories, 44 grams of fat, 17 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 115 milligrams of cholesterol, 1,510 milligrams of sodium, 51.2 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 9.1 grams of sugar, and 38 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Brach’s Funfetti Candy Corn

Mark 10 Comments

Brach s Funfetti Candy Corn Package

What is it?

Brach’s has brought us Funfetti Candy Corn to join the seasonal counterparts of Funfetti Jelly Beans and Funfetti Candy Canes.

Brach’s is the best brand of candy corn (at least that I have tried), so I’m happy it’s the one taking on this challenge.

How is it?

Honestly, I’m not sure if I’ve ever had an officially licensed Funfetti cake. But I have eaten plenty of cake.

And this candy corn really does taste like cake!

Or rather, it takes like frosting. But haven’t we all wanted to eat frosting by the spoonful out of a can? This candy corn allows us to do that without the shame.

Brach s Funfetti Candy Corn Closeup

Of course, frosting is just intense sweetness without a particularly strong flavor. The same could be said about candy corn. So Funfetti candy corn isn’t that different than regular candy corn.

Anything else you need to know?

Candy corn is usually known for its vibrant colors, so it’s a bit surprising they opted for drab shades of yellow and pink for the Funfetti variety. That’s not fun! But the edible confetti pieces help out.

Conclusion:

Funfetti Candy Corn tastes like cake icing. But if you snuck some of this flavor in with regular candy corn, the eater probably wouldn’t notice much of a difference. I enjoy eating Funfetti Candy Corn, but it is not better or worse than its ordinary Brach’s counterpart.

Purchased Price: $3.49
Size: 8 oz. bag
Purchased at: Walgreens
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (15 pieces) 110 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 60 milligrams of sodium, 29 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 22 grams of sugar (including 22 grams of added sugar), and 0 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Gatorade Tropic Flash

Mark 1 Comment

Gatorade Tropic Flash Bottle

What is it?

Gatorade has a new yellowish flavor, Tropic Flash. The label claims “Limited Edition,” but I don’t know whether that applies to the flavor itself or the Serena Williams bottle.

How is it?

Gatorade Tropic Flash Glass

Well, I don’t have anything against it. But I don’t really have anything for it, either.

It has a generically fruity flavor, but what that is, I have no idea.

I was happy to drink it (after a seven-mile trail run in the heat), but I like it less than literally every other regular Gatorade flavor (except for Cool Blue). There’s something bland about it.

Anything else you need to know?

I don’t know what “Tropic Flash” is supposed to be, and the term “natural flavors” on the ingredients list doesn’t help me. I live in the desert, so I don’t have much experience with tropical fruit. The flavor seems like it belongs to something with the texture of cantaloupe, honeydew, or papaya. But I find it exceedingly strange that I taste the texture of a fruit more than I taste the flavor of a fruit.

Conclusion:

If I finished a long workout and someone gave me a Tropic Flash Gatorade, I would gladly drink it. But when I look at the Gatorade flavors in the fridge at the gas station, I would never pick this one over, say, Glacier Freeze or Lime Cucumber.

Purchased Price: $2.69
Size: 28 fl oz
Purchased at: Miller’s
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (12 fl oz) 80 calories, 0 grams of fat, 160 milligrams of sodium, 22 grams of carbohydrates, 21 grams of sugar (including 21 grams of added sugar), 0 grams of protein, and 50 milligrams of potassium.

REVIEW: Brach’s Late Night Taco Truck Jelly Beans

Mark 12 Comments

Brach s Late Night Taco Truck Jelly Beans Bag

In 2020 and 2021, Brach’s treated/trolled us with turkey dinner candy corn and most reviews thought they were terrible. (I never tried the 2021 version [thanks supply chain issues], but I know Brach’s got rid of my favorite flavors from 2020, ginger-glazed carrots and sweet potato pie, and kept the worst ones, stuffing and green bean.)

For 2022, the jelly bean brand is treating/trolling us with another bonkers product: Late Night Taco Truck Jelly Beans. It’s an Easter candy that also works for April Fools’ Day.

There are six flavors, so let’s dive in:

Brach s Late Night Taco Truck Jelly Beans Row

  • The margarita, green with no spots, has a strong citrus flavor. As a teetotaler, I have never had a margarita, but I love this jelly bean! Its flavor feels classier than a typical lime or orange candy. 9 out of 10.

  • Churro, brown with white spots, has a faint cinnamon flavor, but I wouldn’t say it’s like a churro. It vaguely tastes like some kind of fried treat, but I wouldn’t guess that if I didn’t know. I still like it, though. 7 out of 10.

  • Salsa, light red with dark red spots, is fascinating. I taste tomatoes! I taste peppers! It has a mild kick, and it really does taste like salsa. It’s not my first choice for a jelly bean flavor, but I also don’t dread it. 6 out of 10.

  • The beef taco flavor looks like a tortilla, off-white with yellow or brown spots. I get a slight beef flavor, but it mostly tastes like taco seasoning. That sounds gross, but it isn’t. 6 out of 10.

  • Guacamole, green with green spots, has a taste that reminds me of Southeast Asian food. I think that’s the cilantro talking. I like cilantro, so I don’t know how this would be for people who think the herb tastes like soap. I detect a mild kick, perhaps onion. It doesn’t really taste like avocado to me, but it’s a perfectly acceptable bean. 7 out of 10.

  • And horchata, white, has a strong cinnamon flavor. It tastes more like a churro than the churro one does. This is not the cinnamon that you’d expect from a red jelly bean, but more like actual ground cinnamon you’d find in horchata. It’s my favorite of the bunch. 9 out of 10.

Brach s Late Night Taco Truck Jelly Beans Pile

I tried to recreate a taco by combining the salsa, guacamole, and beef taco flavors. The salsa dominated. Then I tried all six flavors together, and once again, salsa dominated, with a little more sweetness. This batch is best savored one flavor at a time.

Are there better-tasting jelly bean assortments out there? Absolutely. But none of these flavors are truly gross, and they’re so fun that I can overlook the weirdness.

If your experience with the turkey dinner candy corn scares you away, don’t let it. These jelly beans maintain the novelty but not the repulsiveness.

Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: 12 oz bag
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (21 pieces) 110 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 10 milligrams of sodium, 27 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 20 grams of sugar including 20 grams of added sugar, and 0 grams of protein.