REVIEW: Kellogg’s Eggo Drizzlers Strawberry Waffles

Kellogg's Eggo Strawberry Drizzlers

Right now in my freezer there are only two food items that have been in there for over six months — a half full bag of store brand chopped broccoli and Guy Fieri’s S’mores Indoor Pizza.

In another six months, I expect both to still be occupying freezer space because I’m scared to open them, especially the s’mores pizza, but for the six months they’ll be joined by a Kellogg’s Eggo Drizzlers strawberry topping packet because the topping made with real fruit is…

What do the kids say nowadays?

Um…

Oh yeah, weak sauce.

Each Eggo Drizzlers box comes with six waffles and three topping packets, each of which holds about an ounce of strawberry weak sauce. The Eggo waffles included are the exact same circular breakfast modules that you know and love (or have nothing else better to eat). They are prepared in the toaster the same way as any other Eggo waffles. The topping, according to the box, can be heated in two ways:

1. Place the topping packet in a cup of warm water while the waffles are being toasted.

2. Warm topping packet in hand while toasting waffles.

But if you really want to multitask, I’d recommend a third option. Clip the topping packet to an ID lanyard around your neck and take a shower with it while the waffles are in the toaster.

Kellogg's Eggo Strawberry Drizzlers Closeup

After the waffles are done and the topping is warmed up, tear open the strawberry sauce-filled packet like it’s a condom wrapper and squeeze out its contents. As you can see in the photo above, there’s enough in one packet to cover two waffles.

But, again, the strawberry topping is weak sauce.

If your child is used to syrup from Mrs. Butterworth’s, Aunt Jemima, or anything else that’s dark, viscous, sugary, and comes in a plastic bottle, then the strawberry topping might not satisfy their taste buds and sweet tooths. Although, the topping has a gooeyness similar to pancake syrup, its strawberry flavor was light and not that sweet.

However, the strawberry topping has around 50 percent less sugar than syrup from Mrs. Butterworth’s, Aunt Jemima, or anything else that’s dark, viscous, sugary, and comes in a plastic bottle. So if you’re looking to cut your child’s sugar intake (or want to make your paunch disappear), use the strawberry topping packet.

Since I don’t have a child with a sugar problem or a paunch big enough to encourage me to do something about it, and I don’t care for the Eggo Drizzlers strawberry topping (and I turned the last two waffles into a peanut butter and jelly sandwich), the last topping packet will keep my freezer burned broccoli and s’mores pizza company in the freezer…and, when I decide to clean out my freezer, in the trash can also.

(Nutrition Facts – 2 waffles & 1 topping packet – 250 calories, 70 calories from fat, 7 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 15 milligrams of cholesterol, 370 milligrams of sodium, 55 milligrams of potassium, 41 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 12 grams of sugar, 4 grams of protein, and a bunch of vitamins and minerals I’m too lazy to list.)

Item: Kellogg’s Eggo Drizzlers Strawberry Waffles
Purchased Price: $3.00 (on sale)
Size: 6 waffles & 2 topping packets
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Same ol’ Eggo waffles, if you like Eggo waffles. Leftover packet keeping company other frozen food. Topping has less sugar than regular syrup. Enough topping to cover two waffles. Topping is made with real fruit. Multitasking.
Cons: Strawberry topping was light on flavor and not that sweet. Only six waffles per box. If you’re addicted to pancake syrup, topping will not suffice. Freezer burned broccoli. Showering with a topping packet.

SPOTTED ON SHELVES – 1/23/2013

Here are some interesting new and limited edition products found on store shelves by us and your fellow readers.

Birthday Cake Golden Oreo

Celebrating Oreo’s 101st birthday by eating Birthday Cake Golden Oreos. Or, perhaps, add more birthdays to your life by not eating any Oreos. (Spotted by Stephen at Giant.)

Nutrigrain Fruit Crunch Granola Bars

After years of offering cereal bars, Kellogg’s Nutri-Grain now makes granola bars. But that space is dominated by Nature Valley, Quaker, and Kashi, so I’m sure Quaker isn’t quaking in their boots, Nature Valley isn’t retreating into a valley, and Kashi isn’t giving a Kashit. (Spotted by Charmi at Target.)

Honey Bunches of Oats Tropical Blends

Here on this tropical rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, tropical blends are just called blends. (Spotted by Justin at Walmart.)

Totinos Pizzaria

With flavors like Cheesy Garlic, Meatball Marinara, and Chicken Parmesan, I guess these Totino’s Pizzeria Rolls are a step above their regular Pizza Rolls. I hope Totino’s one day takes it up another step and makes Totino’s Ristorante Italiano Rolls with flavors like Chicken Alla Pomodori, Lasagna, and Chicken Marsala. (Spotted by Justin at Walmart.)

Thank you to all the photo contributors! If you’re out shopping and see an interesting new or limited edition product on the shelf (or really unusual), snap a picture of it, and send us an email ([email protected]) with where you found it and “Spotted” in the subject line. If you do so, you might see your picture in our next Spotted on Shelves post.

REVIEW: Limited Edition Jumpin’ Jack Doritos

Jumpin' Jack Doritos

Man, these Limited Edition Jumpin’ Jack Doritos take me back.

I remember eating bags of it while (insert 90s reference here) or (insert 90s reference here). Except for the acne and bullying, those were good times. Heck, I think I still have those (insert 90s fashion here) somewhere in my closet. But when Jumpin’ Jack Doritos went away, I was a little sad, just like when they cancelled (insert 90s television show here). For years, I wished I could (insert Back to the Future DeLorean/flux capacitor reference here) and experience those chips again.

But thanks to Frito-Lay’s recent trend of bringing back old chip flavors in retro packaging and no thanks to nonexistent time travel technology, I can enjoy these pepper jack cheese-flavored tortilla chips once again, but for a limited time.

Like the outfits in the first few seasons of Friends, the retro Doritos packaging SCREAMS 90s. It also screams 80s…and 70s. Okay, it just screams old and the font used for the “Jumpin’ Jack” makes me wonder where its leopard print leotard is. Oh wait, I was in high school when these first came out, so that makes me old. I. Am. Old. I feel like I should pull my pants down and let my doctor use his latex glove-covered finger to check my prostate.

Jumpin' Jack Doritos Closeup 2

The chips don’t look as cheesy as regular Doritos, but that’s because the cheese-flavored powder blends in with the color of the chip, like medium 28 camel Sephora tinting moisturizer blends with my skin tone. The cheesy seasoning is made up of cheddar, Monterey Jack, and Swiss cheeses. It sounds like a lot of cheese but according to the level of cheesy powder that accumulated on my fingers while I ate my way through the bag, the chips didn’t seem to have a heavy coating of powder. However, they were some damn tasty chips.

Now some of you cheese connoisseurs might be taking off your monocles, putting down your cup of tea, and asking yourself, “If those chips are pepper jack flavored, where’s the pepper part?”

Jumpin' Jack Doritos Closeup 1

Well, I was just getting to that, Mr. or Ms. Fancy Pants. Along with the cheesy coating, the tortilla chips have a sprinkling of black and red seasonings, which I assume was the jalapeño pepper powder listed in the ingredients. The jalapeño powder gave the chips a level of heat that would be on the lowest Scoville scale level. To be honest, as someone who likey the spicy, the lack of heat was a little disappointing.

While the amount of spice the Limited Edition Jumpin’ Jack Doritos doesn’t make my taste buds want to jump, the chip’s wonderful, but not overpowering Monterey Jack flavor makes them wonder why they’re not a regular addition to the Doritos line.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 ounce – 150 calories, 80 calories from fat, 8 grams of trans fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 240 milligrams of sodium, 17 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 0 grams of sugar, 2 grams of protein, 2% vitamin A, and 2% thiamin.)

Item: Limited Edition Jumpin’ Jack Doritos
Purchased Price: $2.98
Size: 11 ounces
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Nice cheesy flavor. Doritos bringing back flavors from the past. Doesn’t leave your fingers stained orange. Retro bag brings back memories of being asked to the Junior prom as a sophomore. The way medium 28 camel Sephora tinting moisturizer make me look.
Cons: Level of heat doesn’t make my taste buds jump. Not for MSG haters. Limited edition. Leaves your fingers stained yellow. Retro bag brings back memories of being the third option for the girl who asked me to the Junior prom. Checking prostates.

SPOTTED ON SHELVES – 1/21/2013

Here are some interesting new and limited edition products found on store shelves by us and your fellow readers.

Sour Cream & Onion Doritos

Sour Cream & Onion Doritos are back again. Or maybe they never left after being available early last year. Or maybe I used a time machine to travel back to the 1980s, took a picture of these chips at a store that no longer exists, traveled to the present day, and did an awesome Photoshop job with the “Limited Edition” banner in the upper corner. (Spotted by Marvo at Safeway.)

New Rockstar Energy Drinks

Rockstar Energy now has even more ways to fill you with insane amounts of caffeine, taurine, ginseng, and B vitamins. Here’s a Rockstar Recovery Tea/Lemonade review and a Rockstar SuperSours review. (Spotted by Marvo at Safeway.)

Heinz Ketchup Pouch

It’s like a giant ketchup packet I don’t have to open with my teeth. (Spotted by Marvo at Safeway.)

Kashi Soft n' Chewy Bars

I’ve lost count, but it feels like Kashi has 700 ways to get their 7 Whole Grains into my digestive system. (Spotted by Adam at Weis Markets.)

Head & Shoulders Old Spice 2-in-1

Awesome! My hair can smell like my dad did in the 1980s! (Spotted by Raymond at Target.)

Thank you to all the photo contributors! If you’re out shopping and see an interesting new or limited edition product on the shelf (or really unusual), snap a picture of it, and send us an email ([email protected]) with where you found it and “Spotted” in the subject line. If you do so, you might see your picture in our next Spotted on Shelves post.

REVIEW LIGHTNING ROUND (FROZEN FOOD EDITION) – 1/18/2013

Here are some quick reviews of new-ish store brand products we’re too lazy to write full reviews for:

Lightlife Amaz'n Asian Sesame Chik'n

Item: Lightlife Amaz’n Asian Sesame Chik’n’
Purchased Price: $3.99 (on sale)
Size: 9.7 ounces
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Not amaz’n, but appetiz’n. Awesome source of fiber and protein. Low fat. Lots of chik’n pieces. Contains a bunch of vitamins and minerals. Non-GMO soy used allows me to brag about eating non-GMO soy.
Cons: Pricey, unless you’re really good at shoplifting. Could use more noodles. A bit salty. Overriding my computer’s autocorrection of “Amaz’n” and “Chik’n”

Lightlife Bella Portabella Tuscan Chik'n

Item: Lightlife Bella Portabella Tuscan Chik’n’
Purchased Price: $3.99 (on sale)
Size: 10 ounces
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Tasty sauce. Lots of veggie chik’n pieces, spinach, and red peppers. Low fat. Awesome source of fiber. Despite being called Lightlife, it’s filling. Good source of protein. Made with non-GMO soy. Meat-free, if you’re into meat free stuff.
Cons: Pricey, if not bought on sale. My spellcheck not liking the word “chik’n.” Not a lot of mushrooms and asparagus. Might be hard to find.

Ball Park Bakery Wrapped Brats

Item: Ball Park Bakery Wrapped Brats
Purchased Price: $3.99 (on sale)
Size: 2 brats
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Decently seasoned bratwursts. Bun reminded me of the exterior of a corndog. Steaming pouches to warm them up are kind of cool. Not Bratz dolls.
Cons: Not even close to being the best brats I’ve had. Sauerkraut would probably have a hard time staying on. Looks European phallic. Only 2 per box. Bratwurst aren’t as thick as other brats I’ve seen. Wisconsinites will shun them.

Lean Cuisine Salad Additions

Item: Lean Cuisine Southwest-Style Salad Additions
Purchased Price: $3.42
Size: 7 1/8 ounces
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Filling. Easy to prepare, if you like dumping things on lettuce. Had a decent spicy kick. Good souce of fiber and protein. Awesome source of vitamin C. Tortilla strips were surprisingly crunchy. Eating salad.
Cons: Chipotle ranch dressing could’ve had more flavor. Lean Cuisine not discovering a way to flash freeze lettuce. Chicken didn’t have much flavor. Dressing took longer to thaw than heating the chicken in the microwave.

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