Category: Reviews

REVIEW: Mtn Dew Fruit Quake

Marvo 11 Comments

Mtn Dew Fruit Quake Can

The fruitcake is a hot mess of ingredients that somehow became a holiday staple. It’s also one of those things that people either love or instantly throw away when the giver of the fruitcake is not looking.

While I don’t automatically throw away those that I receive, I do treat them like the McRib. I give it a try every year to find out if my taste buds have changed enough that I actually think it’s good, and when I realize nothing has changed, I sigh, gobble the rest up, and then say, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me 26 times, WHY HAVEN’T I LEARNED MY LESSON?! AM I A MASOCHIST? DO I NOT CARE ABOUT MY TASTE BUDS? SHOULD I CUT OFF MY TONGUE?”

Mtn Dew Fruit Quake Glass

While an actual fruitcake is a complex recipe containing spices, fruit, nuts, and cake, Mtn Dew Fruit Quake’s fruitcake flavor is simple. It starts with a strong, sweet fruit punch taste that I’ve never experienced when it comes to fruitcake, but it’s something that I’ve tasted a few times when it comes to fruit punch-flavored Mountain Dew. After that fades, some fruitcake spices are noticeable, although barely. The addition of spices makes me wonder if there’s a bit of Gingerbread Snap’d’s recipe in Fruit Quake.

Mtn Dew Fruit Quake Graphics

But that’s it, just fruit punch and a smidge of spices that your taste buds might not even notice. There isn’t any cake flavor here, despite Mtn Dew having experience creating the taste with the brand’s Cake-Smash. And, even though the can’s graphics show nuts, the soda lacks the flavor of nuts. But if it did have it, that would be impressive and a bit odd.

Speaking of weird, the soda’s aroma has an expected intense fruitiness, but at times there’s a little something that reminds me of egg nog that probably comes from whatever spice flavors are included. Perhaps Mtn Dew Egg N’gg will be a future holiday variety? Just throwing it out there, PepsiCo.

With Mtn Dew Fruit Quake, I expected a beverage that’s a bit more unusual tasting, much like last year’s Gingerbread Snap’d flavor. So it’s a little disappointing that it’s a fruit punch Dew with a hint of spices that could be easily missed. With that said, it’s a decent tasting Dew that I wouldn’t throw away when no one is looking.

Purchased Price: More than one should pay on eBay
Size: 12-pack 12 oz cans
Purchased at: eBay
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 can) 160 calories, 0 grams of fat, 55 milligrams of sodium, 43 grams of carbohydrates, 43 grams of sugar (including 43 (including 43 grams of added sugar), 0 grams of protein, and 54 milligrams of caffeine.

REVIEW: Taco Bell Cherry Bliss Freeze

Karen 3 Comments

Taco Bell Cherry Bliss Freeze Cup

What is it?

Taco Bell’s new Cherry Bliss Freeze is for the kind of people who steal all the red Jolly Ranchers out of the bag. You know who you are.

How is it?

As big a sugar fiend as I am, I’m not a huge consumer of sugary drinks. I don’t dislike them, but my reasoning is that if I have a limited calorie allotment for treats, then I’d rather have my fun in the form of cake, or maybe a sundae, as opposed to a liquid. That said, I was excited to try the Cherry Bliss Freeze because it gave me an excuse to do something unusual for me. I also prefer black cherry soda on the rare occasions when I have soda, so I’m already something of a cherry fan.

Circumstances aligned themselves in favor of me liking the CBF: I got it on an unseasonably warm day, and I was feeling pretty thirsty by the time I got it home. It was actually hard to wait long enough to take a photo, because I was that parched.

Taco Bell Cherry Bliss Freeze Top

My first sip, all I could think about was Luden’s Cough Drops. Apparently, they’ve rebranded as Throat Drops because they were never actually cough drops, or something, but you probably know what I’m talking about. The more I sipped, the more it started to taste like fruit punch. Apparently, Taco Bell uses the flavors of strawberry, raspberry, and blackberry in this freeze, so it stands to reason that it would taste like a mix. The final impression it left me with is liquified Cherry Starburst. I think those of us who are into cherry-flavored products will approve of that.

As you would expect, this thing is incredibly sweet. I actually liked it more toward the second half of the drink, as the ice started to melt and the water diluted the flavor a little bit.

Anything else you need to know?

Taco Bell’s promotional images for this depict it as red and purple in color, but what I received was pink. Was this a mistake, or is something else going on here?

Conclusion:

If you like cherry-flavored things, you’re not going to do much better than this.

Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: Small
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 180 calories, 0 grams of fat, 70 milligrams of sodium, 47 grams of carbohydrates, 45 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Limited Edition Snickerdoodle Oreo Cookies

Vin 7 Comments

Limited Edition Snickerdoodle Oreo Cookies Package

Well folks, “Spooky Season” is just about over.

Crazy, right? It feels like it just started.

No, seriously, it feels like “Spooky Season” literally just started. That term seemingly appeared out of thin air and now every single person insists on saying it fourteen times a day.

For that reason alone, I was relieved to see Christmas snacks like Snickerdoodle Oreo Cookies starting to hit the shelves.

Are snickerdoodles even a Christmas thing? I’ve never really thought of them as distinctly Christmassy, but who am I to argue?

Snickerdoodle Oreo has both cinnamon-flavored cookies and crème, which are both speckled with red and green crunchy flavor crystals, so ya know what? Sure, these are Christmas cookies.

I love a good snickerdoodle. I love Oreo. Surely, I love these, right?

Ehhhh, I have some gripes. Bah humbug and whatnot.

Limited Edition Snickerdoodle Oreo Cookies Stack

First of all, there’s something very “synthetic cinnamon” about the scent these cookies emit. There’s a fine line between appetizing and “candle,” and these smell like the latter.

The cookie wafer itself has a very mild cinnamon flavor. There’s no mention on the package, so I may honestly just be tasting a cinnamon Ghost of Christmas Past radiating from the crème. These might just be decorated Golden Oreo, but I think I’m right. Either way, it’s a pretty bland cookie.

The crème is nice, but not exactly bursting with cinnamon. It’s like the classic Oreo crème with a dash of cinnamon. They’re not cloyingly sweet as a result, so that’s a positive.

Limited Edition Snickerdoodle Oreo Cookies Creme

Don’t get me wrong, there’s no mistaking the cinnamon, but these are a little on the boring side. I do love the colorful flavor crystals though. They’re basically the sprinkles you’d decorate Christmas sugar cookies with, and they made the wafers look like Doritos Cool Ranch Oreo, which excited me for some strange reason.

I should acknowledge that while I find these tame, they do a nice job of emulating the cookie’s flavor. It’s not like snickerdoodles typically burn your mouth like a shot of Fireball or a stick of Big Red, so I’m not sure what I was ultimately expecting.

Another thought I couldn’t shake was that snickerdoodles are usually as much a textural cookie as they are a flavor experience. If I’m eating one, I want it to be soft. I associate this cinnamon profile with a soft cookie, so maybe these never even had a chance to be a favorite.

Snickerdoodle might literally be the center point on an Oreo flavor scale. I don’t really remember the exact taste of the Cinnamon Bun Oreo, but I’m positive I liked those more. In reality, these probably aren’t that much of a far cry from those, but they’re definitely worse.

Limited Edition Snickerdoodle Oreo Cookies Sleeves

With these being released in October, I’m curious to see if Oreo has an even more Christmassy variety up its three sleeves. If not, you’re stuck with Snickerdoodle, which is… fine. They’re fine. They’re inoffensive and probably worth a try, but they certainly don’t pack enough of a punch to eat during something called “Spooky Season,” so maybe wait a week or two. Merry Christmas.

Purchased Price: $4.69
Size: 12.2 oz package
Purchased at: Shop Rite
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2 Cookies) 140 calories, 7 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 gram of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 85 milligrams of sodium, 21 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 12 grams of sugar, and less than 1 gram of protein.

REVIEW: Papa John’s Pepperoni Crusted Papadia

Jenna 2 Comments

Papa John s Pepperoni Crusted Papadias Top

If you’re not hip to the lingo, Papa John’s defines its Papadia as “a delicious pizza sandwich calzone combo.” Previous Papadia flavors, featuring stalwarts like Philly cheesesteak and Italian meats, were pretty squarely on the “sandwich” side of the spectrum. But there’s no question which of those three words the new Pepperoni Crusted variety most evokes.

You may be able to tell that this is not my first Papadia rodeo, but it is the first time I can remember distinctly thinking, “Wait… isn’t this literally just a personal pizza folded in half and with extra pepperoni added to the outside?” It’s also possible that I’m more observant than usual today on account of being three cups of coffee deep and so highly caffeinated that I’m hearing colors. But in any case, any potential pretense that you might be eating something healthier than you actually are is out the window with this one.

Sure, it doesn’t look THAT much different than the previous Papadias, but somehow, seeing that familiar exterior festooned with pepperonis so red and round they’re nigh cartoonish just makes the same triangular shape, smattering of parmesan, and rounded crust-like edge scream “PIZZA!” so much louder.

Papa John s Pepperoni Crusted Papadias Split

You probably already have a good idea of what this tastes like just by looking at it. The crust is buttery, the cheese mild, and the pepperoni zesty (plus there’s a side of Papa John’s signature sweet sauce if you feel like making a dish that’s advertised for its portability slightly less convenient to eat on the go). All of those flavors are wonderful, but they’re not really what I want to focus on, because to me, what’s just as, if not more, important for a pizza or pizza-adjacent product is its texture. I want my crust chewy, my cheese dense, and my pepperoni tough enough for a primitively satisfying give when I tear into it. How does this Papadia live up to those super-specific standards? Well, I am not exaggerating when I say that that first bite was a near-religious experience (though again, that might just be the three-times-my-usual-caffeine-intake talking).

As a native New Yorker, I’m used to folding a slice of pizza before I eat it, and I hope this delicious Papadia officially validates that behavior for all the out-of-town friends who’ve made fun of me for it. Because, like I said, a folded pizza is basically what this Papadia is and that improves the experience tenfold (yes, emphasis on the “fold”).

Papa John s Pepperoni Crusted Papadias Flip

To test this assertion, I took a small bite of my Papadia after I’d opened it up, and it just didn’t hit the same way. Perhaps the crust was a bit thinner and the layer of cheese and toppings a bit thicker than I’d usually expect from Papa John’s, but the dissected Papadia still didn’t feel like anything extraordinary. There’s just something about biting into those two thick layers while they’re squished up against each other and masterfully enveloped by a crisp bready crunch on either side that’s so gratifying that I can barely put it into words, even as someone who is literally paid to put food into words. And maybe that’s not such a bad thing, because that means that in order to really understand the magic of the Pepperoni Crusted Papadia, you’ll just have to try one yourself.

Papa John s Pepperoni Crusted Papadias Box

Purchased Price: $7.99
Size: n/a
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 1080 calories, 61 grams of fat, 29 grams of saturated fat, 2710 milligrams of sodium, 77 grams of carbohydrates, 7 grams of sugar, and 50 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Monster Reserve Orange Dreamsicle Energy Drink

Marvo 2 Comments

Monster Reserve Orange Dreamsicle Energy Drink Can

It’s too bad that ice cream truck music doesn’t play when I open this Monster Reserve Orange Dreamsicle Energy Drink can because it captures the flavor of the popular frozen novelty. Although, it’s not perfect.

This isn’t Monster’s first product with this sweet, citrusy taste profile. That would be from the Reign Total Body Fuel line, which I haven’t tried, so I can’t compare. But it wouldn’t be a fair comparison since the Reign line is sugar free and this is (reads 28 grams of sugar in the Nutrition Facts) definitely not.

So what’s the deal with the Monster Reserve labeling? Is this fancy Monster that’s been aged in oak barrels? Is this Monster made with a special recipe that only a select few got to try at private tasting sessions in an underground energy drink cellar where to enter you had to say the password, which I assume is some crazy trick combo in Tony Hawk Pro Skater?

Sadly, no. Here’s what the company says about it on its website, “No juice, tea, coffee or any tweaks to the energy blend. Monster Reserve is straight-up original Monster in new amazing flavors. It’s the ideal combo of the right ingredients in the right proportion to deliver the big bad buzz that only Monster can.”

So it’s a regular Monster, but in a different flavor. Okay. Cool.

But here’s the thing, it’s not exactly a regular Monster, but in a different flavor. Although it’s not sugar-free, I get an aftertaste that reminds me of energy drinks that are. And that’s because there’s Sucralose in it, which I’m pretty sure “straight-up original Monster” doesn’t have, and I find it odd that it’s in this.

Monster Reserve Orange Dreamsicle Energy Drink Glass

While the aftertaste is unexpected, it’s not off-putting and everything before is delightful. First off, it smells soooo good. It’s like I’m trying to eat an actual orange Dreamsicle with my nose. Then there’s the orange sherbet and cream flavor that excites my taste buds and makes me wish I could get my caffeine via an ice cream bar on a stick.

But, again, once that fades, I’m left with an artificial sweetener-enhanced aftertaste that reminds me a bit of orange-flavored medicine tablets. As someone who enjoys Monster’s Ultra line, I’m okay with other sweeteners. But in this, it creates a slightly disappointing end that’s inconsistent with this energy drink’s delicious and sugary beginning.

Purchased Price: More than one should pay on eBay
Size: 16 fl oz can
Purchased at: eBay
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 can) 120 calories, 0 grams of fat, 360 milligrams of sodium, 32 grams of carbohydrates, 28 grams of sugar (including 28 grams of added sugar), 0 grams of protein, and 160 milligrams of caffeine.