REVIEW: SunChips 6 Grain Medley Creamy Roasted Garlic

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SunChips 6 Grain Medley Creamy Roasted Garlic

I don’t think I’ve ever gotten happiness from SunChips, or sunshine from them, if you will. Potato chips have made me happy (and heavy), but never SunChips.

I do enjoy SunChips, but it’s just that they aren’t as gratifying and addictive as regular potato chips. I don’t know, maybe fried potato has a certain place in my heart…probably the clogged part.

Although there was a time when I regularly bought SunChips, but I did so more for the bag than the snack inside. It was when they came in those compostable bags that everyone complained about because they were too loud. I’d use them to get off the phone with someone I didn’t want to talk to anymore by touching the bag to create static noises and telling the caller, “You’re breaking up. I’ll call you later.”

I thought after eating SunChips 6 Grain Medley Creamy Roasted Garlic, SunChips would bring me happiness because I love garlic, but these don’t quite do it for me.

This isn’t the first SunChips 6 Grain Medley flavor. The line was originally a Target exclusive and came in two flavors — Onion & Thyme and Parmesan & Herb.

So what are the six grains found in these chips?

You’ll find corn, wheat, oats, brown rice, buckwheat, and quinoa. All these grains provide 21 grams of whole grain goodness per one ounce serving. However, it’s mostly corn, wheat, and oats, which are three of the first four ingredients listed. As for brown rice, buckwheat, and quinoa, they make up three of the last four ingredients listed.

SunChips 6 Grain Medley Creamy Roasted Garlic Moneyshot

As for the chip’s garlic flavor, I was hoping for something strong enough to ward off Twilight fans who are on Team Edward and make it uncomfortable for someone to have a conversation with me in a Fiat 500, but it had a disappointing garlic flavor. Actually, I wouldn’t really consider it garlic. The three different cheeses (cheddar, Romano, and Parmesan), spices, and roasted garlic on the chips created a flavor that tastes more like ranch seasoning. Also, the chips aren’t heavily seasoned. I expected to have a lot of powdery goodness on my fingers to suck off, like with many other Frito-Lay snacks (Doritos and Cheetos), but my fingertips were just lightly dusted with seasoning.

The SunChips 6 Grain Medley Creamy Roasted Garlic was disappointing, and I don’t ever see myself craving them, unless my body evolves into a baby making machine. Then, I could experience pregnancy cravings that may involve me wanting these SunChips, and other weird foods to crave, like pork rinds, mustard, pickles, and mustard pickle sandwiches.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 ounce/about 15 chips – 140 calories, 60 calories, 6 grams of fat, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 1 gram of polyunsaturated fat, 3.5 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 150 milligrams of sodium, 18 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 1 gram of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.)

Other SunChips 6 Grain Medley Creamy Roasted Garlic:
Junk Food Guy

Item: SunChips 6 Grain Medley Creamy Roasted Garlic
Price: $2.99 (on sale)
Size: 9 ounces
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Crunchy. Not horrible. 21 grams of whole grains per 1 ounce serving. No artificial flavors. No preservative. Getting to eat something called quinoa.
Cons: Weak garlic flavor that tasted more like ranch. Too lightly seasoned. Not addictive, like potato chips. Doesn’t come in noisy compostable bag. Having a conversation with a garlic lover in a Fiat 500.

REVIEW: Kellogg’s Eggo Low Fat Homestyle Waffles

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Kellogg's Eggo Low Fat Homestyle Waffles

Let’s say we lived in a place where the mild and inoffensive ruled. Let’s call it Bland Town.

This is a place where the ellipsis is favored over the exclamation point… Where UFC championship fights have been replaced by Bob Ross reruns… Where people camp out for days in front of stadiums to see Bon Iver instead of Bon Jovi… Where Tabasco sauce is rare and unfathomable, shrouded in mystery and thought of only as an urban legend. In this innocuous little village, Eggo Low Fat Homestyle Waffles are King of Breakfast Foods.

I suppose that the Eggo branch of Kellogg’s has been given some kind of kick in the pants recently because the division has unleashed a cascade of new products within the past few months. One of these is the low-fat version of their Homestyle frozen waffles, already a pretty tasty product. It wasn’t a bad idea to make a more healthful and nutritious Homestyle waffle, especially since the only other low-fat Eggo waffle options were the positively ancient Low Fat Nutri-Grain waffles. It’s just that “healthier” shouldn’t mean “less delicious” or “boring.”

Kellogg's Eggo Low Fat Homestyle Waffles Closeup

Like most other Eggo frozen waffles, Low Fat Homestyle Waffles come in serving sizes of two. After toasting, they come out a lovely golden brown, smell great, and have a nice, crisp exterior upon first bite. But here’s where things go south. The texture of the Low Fat Homestyle waffle is rather chewy… much different than the full-fat version. It’s also not very flavorful, which is puzzling considering the aroma encourages visions of buttery, delicious homemade batter being poured into a waffle iron. Not so. These were some of the most uninspiring waffles I’ve ever eaten. And that means a lot coming from someone who’s frequently motivated to break into dance moves whenever she eats something delicious.

So, those of us who may want a lighter waffle breakfast are stuck with the somewhat rubbery, less-tasty version of the original Eggo’s Homestyle waffles. It’s not a terrible breakfast option, just blah. When you dine on Kellogg’s Eggo Low Fat Homestyle waffles, you’re firmly planted in Bland Town. And Bland Town, while clean and filled with nice, inoffensive residents who smile casually when they see you, maybe even tip their hats (because hats are still in fashion), is not where it’s at. Bland Town is a nice place to visit, but I wouldn’t want to live there, if you catch my drift.

(Nutrition Facts – 2 waffles – 160 calories, 20 calories from fat, 2.5 grams of fat, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 15 milligrams of cholesterol, 280 milligrams of sodium, 65 milligrams of potassium, 31 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 4 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein.)

Other Kellogg’s Eggo Low Fat Homestyle Waffles reviews:
Option Pitch and Waffle Crisp

Item: Kellogg’s Eggo Low Fat Homestyle Waffles
Price: $3.99
Size: 12.3 oz/10 waffles
Purchased at: Pavilions
Rating: 5 out of 10 (The perfect “meh” rating.)
Pros: Mild and inoffensive. Low in fat. Crispy and golden brown. The dulcet tones of Bob Ross.
Cons: Living in Bland Town. Chewy, rubbery texture. Spicy urban legends. Beard music.

REVIEW: Häagen-Dazs Limited Edition Salted Caramel Truffle Ice Cream

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Haagen-Dazs Salted Caramel Truffle

Just like yours truly in the bedroom, Häagen-Dazs ice cream doesn’t disappoint. I’ve purchased a number of Häagen-Dazs varieties and, just like 99 cent, physics-based iPhone games, they’re really hard to put down and I can’t say I’ve disliked any of them.

The only thing I don’t like about Häagen-Dazs is having to put that damn umlaut above the first “a” and remembering to include the hyphen whenever I type their name.

Häagen-Dazs’ Limited Edition Salted Caramel Truffle ice cream is another Häagen-Dazs flavor I’ve had trouble putting the lid back on and sticking back in the freezer. I want to eat the whole not-quite-a-pint container in one sitting, but I can’t. The only thing that prevents me from doing so is looking at the nutrition facts and calculating how much saturated fat, calories, and sugar I’d be consuming if I did so.

By the way, in case you were wondering, if I did eat the entire container, I’d take in 38.5 grams of saturated fat, or 192.5 percent of my recommended daily allowance; 980 calories; and 87.5 grams of sugar.

If you enjoy caramel, the Häagen-Dazs Limited Edition Salted Caramel Truffle ice cream has enough of it that it should be arrested For Unlawful Caramel Knowledge. The ice cream consists of sweet-cream ice cream, salted caramel ribbons, and chocolatey salted caramel truffles. What’s “sweet-cream ice cream”? After tasting it, it’s just a fancy way of saying vanilla ice cream.

Haagen-Dazs Salted Caramel Truffle Closeup

But back to the caramel. The salted caramel ribbons are rich and buttery, but, to be honest, the salted caramel didn’t taste any different from regular caramel. Häagen-Dazs says the French fleur de sel influenced this ice cream, so I was hoping there would be a slight salty crunch, but there wasn’t one.

There are lots of chocolatey salted caramel truffles. In fact, I’ve gone through half of the container, and I’ve been able to scoop one up with each spoonful. Though they’re sitting in frozen cream, the truffles aren’t rock hard, and, surprisingly, they’re more caramel-y than chocolatey in flavor.

Despite all the niggles I have with the Häagen-Dazs Limited Edition Salted Caramel Truffle Ice Cream, I really enjoyed it. But that’s because I love caramel. Thank goodness for the FDA-required nutrition label, because without it I’d eat a lot of this delicious ice cream.

(Nutrition Facts – 1/2 cup – 280 calories, 150 calories from fat, 17 grams of fat, 11 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 75 milligrams of cholesterol, 160 milligrams of sodium, 28 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 25 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein.)

Item: Häagen-Dazs Limited Edition Salted Caramel Truffle Ice Cream
Price: $4.69
Size: 14 ounces
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: If you love caramel, you’ll enjoy this ice cream. Creamy sweet-cream ice cream. Slightly addictive. FDA-required nutrition labels. Rich and buttery caramel ribbons. Lots of truffles.
Cons: Limited edition flavor available from February to December. No salt granules to provide crunch. Salted caramel doesn’t taste any different than regular caramel. Constantly forgetting how to add an umlaut.

REVIEW: Quaker Life Strawberry Crunchtime Multigrain Cereal

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Quaker Life Strawberry Crunchtime Cereal

I’ve been having nightmares ever since I started eating the Quaker Life Strawberry Crunchtime Multigrain Cereal. Just look at the closeup picture below, but don’t stare at it too long or else you’ll be having scary dreams as well.

Maybe I’ve read too many issues of Fangoria Magazine, but I think they look like the deformed faces of evil demonic spirits who want to devour my soul. Yeah, they’re smiling, but that’s because feasting on some of my life force will make them happy.

Oh geez, I gotta turn the box around because they’re freaking me out again!

I really wish Life Crunchtime Cereal came in normal, boring square pieces, much like regular Life Cereal. Or what my imagination thinks Kellogg’s Honey Smacks look like. Or, at least, a shape that doesn’t remind me of Scream‘s Ghostface.

You’d think with the Highlights for Children-like puzzle on the back of its box, Life Crunchtime Cereal is supposed to appeal to children, but it’s really more of a cereal being marketed to moms who are worried about their children eating too much sugar and not enough fiber. I don’t know of any children who would get excited about the “30% less sugar than the leading kids’ cereals” printed on the front of the box, but I know of moms who would.

What are these leading kids’ cereals? If you happen to be the in cereal aisle with one of those sugar-fearing moms, the leading kids cereals are probably the ones her child brings to her and instantly rejects with a loud “No! Put that back!” These cereal might include Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes, which has 11 grams of sugar per 3/4 cup serving; General Mills’ Honey Nut Cheerios, which has 9 grams, and Cap’n Crunch’s Crunch Berries, which has 11 grams of sugar.

Quaker Life Strawberry Crunchtime Cereal Closeup

Speaking of Cap’n Crunch’s Crunch Berries, that’s what Life Strawberry Crunchtime smelled like. However, I shouldn’t be surprised by this since Cap’n Crunch’s Crunch Berries is also made by Quaker. Its flavor, however, was significantly less Crunch Berry-like. It initially tasted like nothing, but then several moments later the berry flavor, which didn’t taste like strawberry, lightly stroked my tongue. The strawberry flavor came, but in the form of an artificial strawberry aftertaste that lingered in my mouth for a little while.

For a cereal that has just six grams of sugar per serving, Life Strawberry Crunchtime Cereal is decent. If you’re expecting a Froot Loops- or Trix-level of fruitiness, your expectations will not be met. Just like Froot Loops, Life Strawberry Crunchtime Cereal doesn’t contain any fruit and is made using natural flavor, but unlike Froot Loops, it’s also made with artificial flavor.

Overall, I can’t say I’ll be picking up another box of Life Strawberry Crunchtime Cereal because its flavor doesn’t impress the sugar-addicted kid in me and their shape totally freaks out the easily scared adult in me, but, with its six grams of fiber (23% RDA), six grams of sugar, and vitamin content, I would recommend it to parents looking for a healthier breakfast cereal for their children.

Wait a minute…six grams of fiber, six grams of sugar, and is an excellent source of vitamin B6?

6-6-6!

It is evil!

(Nutrition Facts – 3/4 cup (cereal only) – 110 calories, 15 calories from fat, 1.5 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 0.5 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 90 milligrams of sodium, 75 milligrams of potassium, 27 grams of carbohydrates, 6 grams of fiber, 6 grams of sugar, 15 grams of other carbohydrates, 2 grams of protein, and a bunch of vitamins and minerals.)

Item: Quaker Life Strawberry Crunchtime Multigrain Cereal
Price: $2.99
Size: 7.7 ounces
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Good for a cereal that has just six grams of sugar per serving. Provides 100% RDA of folic acid. Six grams of fiber.
Cons: Doesn’t contain real fruit. Puzzle on back of box is kind of difficult if you have morning brain. Cereal shape looks like deformed faces of evil demonic spirits. What my imagination thinks Honey Smacks look like.

REVIEW: DiGiorno Three Meat Pizza Pizza Dipping Strips

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DiGiorno Pizza Dipping Strips Three Meat Pizza

Pizza Hut did it!

I couldn’t help but yell those four words and rip off South Park when I saw the DiGiorno Three Meat Pizza Pizza Dipping Strips. As you can imagine, this frightened my fellow shoppers in the frozen food aisle and caused them to scurry themselves and their shopping carts away from me.

That was not the first time I yelled the words “Pizza Hut did it!” in public while looking at a DiGiorno product. I also did it when I discovered DiGiorno’s Pizza and Wyngs, DiGiorno’s Pizza and Breadsticks, and I do it whenever I see DiGiorno’s Cheese Stuffed Crust Pizza. It’s as if Pizza Hut is DiGiorno’s R&D Department.

DiGiorno’s Pizza Dipping Strips is made up of 12 pull-apart strips of pizza and comes with a container of marinara sauce and another of garlic dipping sauce. I picked up the Three Meat Pizza one, but it also comes in Pepperoni and Four Cheese varieties. The three meats are sausage, pepperoni, and beef.

Even though they were connected by just crust, the dipping strips weren’t super easy to pull apart. Or maybe I’m as horrible at pulling than a one-legged ox. After burning my fingers trying to split the strips apart, I decided to break out my pizza cutter.

DiGiorno Pizza Dipping Strips Three Meat Pizza Closeup

I prefer DiGiorno frozen pizzas over Red Baron, Tombstone, Totino’s, Freschetta, and a few others, so it’s no surprise I enjoyed the pizza part of the Pizza Dipping Strips. I think DiGiorno’s tasty pizza sauce is what sets it apart from other frozen pizzas, but I also think their crust is a bit too thick. Another slight issue I had with the dipping strips is the amount of pepperoni. Each strip had just one lonely slice of pepperoni. Although, I will admit this is easy to fix by stealing the pepperoni from other dipping strips when your fellow eaters aren’t looking.

What about the dipping sauces? Well, let me just say, one is better than the other and they’re quite watery.

Preparing the dipping sauces is more complex than baking the pizza, which is pretty much just stick pizza in oven, take pizza out of oven, and enjoy. The steps to get the sauces ready are: place sauce packets in hot tap water for 4-5 minutes, tear open packets, squeeze each sauce into separate microwave-safe bowls, heat one sauce for 20-30 seconds in the microwave, heat the other sauce for 20-30 seconds in the microwave, and enjoy.

The garlic dipping sauce is not very garlicy. If you enjoy the garlic sauce from Domino’s or Papa John’s, this DiGiorno garlic sauce will disappoint. Its garlic flavor is mild enough that I would not be afraid to make out with someone after eating it. Despite my not so glowing words, I have to say the garlic sauce is better than the marinara dipping sauce, which has very little flavor at all. As I mentioned earlier, I like DiGiorno’s pizza sauce, so I’m disappointed their marinara sauce is dull.

If there’s one positive thing I could say about the sauces, it would be that each packet has a lot of sauce. When other eater weren’t looking, I was not only stealing their pepperoni, I was also double, triple, and quadruple dipping into both sauces. And despite all of that unsanitary dipping, there was still a lot of sauce left.

The DiGiorno Pizza Dipping Strips is a good idea, although an old idea, but the sauces bring everything down. I do like the idea of pull apart pieces and would like to see DiGiorno do that with their regular round pizzas.

I would also like to see DiGiorno’s combine pizza with cinnamon sticks, much like Pizza Hut does with their $10 Dinner Box. Oh wait, it’s already happened.

Pizza Hut did it!

(Nutrition Facts – 2 dipping strips – 360 calories, 140 calories from fat, 16 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat*, 30 milligrams of cholesterol, 880 milligrams of sodium, 39 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 3 grams of sugar, and 15 grams of protein. Marinara Sauce – 2 Tbsp. – 20 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 125 milligrams of sodium, 5 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 3 grams of sugar, and 1 gram of protein. Garlic Sauce – 2 Tbsp. – 60 calories, 7 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 300 milligrams of sodium, 1 gram of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 0 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.)

*uses partially hydrogenated oil

Item: DiGiorno Three Meat Pizza Pizza Dipping Strips
Price: $6.99
Size: 34.2 ounces
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Pizza is good. Pizza in strip form is easier to eat than pizza slice form. Stealing pepperoni. THREE MEATS! Lots of dipping sauce. Pizza is easy to prepare.
Cons: Garlic sauce isn’t very garlicy. Marinara sauce is bland. Would’ve liked more pepperoni. Having your pepperoni stolen. Getting caught double, triple, or quadruple dipping. Copying Pizza Hut.

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