REVIEW: Eggo Seasons Limited Edition Pumpkin Spice Waffles

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Eggo Seasons Limited Edition Pumpkin Spice Waffles

With fall in full swing and Halloween just around the corner, everyone has got pumpkins on their foods and on their minds. I’ve recently consumed pumpkin pies, pumpkin breads, pumpkin spice lattes, and pumpkin ice creams. I’ve decided what my favorite pumpkin microbrew is (Woodstock Inn Autumn Ale), who would be Pumpkin Spice in a Spice Girls reboot (Snooki), and whether or not I can pull off calling people “pumpkin” (I can’t).

Despite not knowing what a real pumpkin even actually taste like, I was starting to get pretty sick of eating pumpkin flavors, thinking about pumpkins, and typing the word pumpkin.

The most recent contributor to my pumpkin fatigue is the Eggo Pumpkin Spice Waffles. As part of the Eggo “Seasons” line, these waffles are supposed to contain the autumn flavors of pumpkin, cinnamon, nutmeg, and ginger. I found them at Target on sale for $2.00 for a pack of 10.

When I opened the package, the fantastic aroma of the waffles hit me immediately. All the spices shined together and really captured what I imagine as the scent of autumn, or at least as the scent of autumn desserts. Throwing two waffles in the toaster was equivalent to lighting a flavored Yankee Candle in making my apartment smell delicious.

The waffles also tasted pretty appetizing, though not nearly as appetizing as they smelled. Cinnamon was the most noticeable spice, while the pumpkin flavor was fairly understated and left the waffles with slightly more sweetness and a touch of bitterness that regular Eggos don’t have.

Eggo Seasons Limited Edition Pumpkin Spice Waffles Closeup

If you generally have maple syrup with your waffles, these Pumpkin Spice Eggos are definitely not flavorful enough to allow you to forgo your usual sweetening. (Sidenote: I love the Target brand maple syrup. I love their syrup on pancakes, I love it on pizza. I take their syrup and put a little bit in my hair when I’ve had a rough week. What do you think holds it up, slick?)

I wouldn’t say the Pumpkin Spice version is the best limited edition waffle that Eggo has ever released, but they tasted good, smelled wonderful, and came at a really great price. If you’re tired of eating pumpkin flavors, too, you should still think about buying a couple packs – considering the waffles are just 20 cents each, I plan to leave them around the apartment and never go to Yankee Candle again.

(Nutrition Facts – 2 waffles – 210 calories, 80 calories from fat, 9 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 10 milligrams of cholesterol, 380 milligrams of sodium, 60 milligrams of potassium, 29 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 6 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein.)

Item: Eggo Seasons Limited Edition Pumpkin Spice Waffles
Price: $2.00
Size: 10 waffles
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Smelled fantastic. Tasted cinnamon-y and a bit sweeter than regular Eggos. Only $2 a box. Target brand maple syrup. Wedding Crasher quotes.
Cons: Didn’t taste as good as it smelled. Didn’t really taste all that different from a regular Eggo. Pumpkin fatigue. Not knowing what real pumpkins taste like. I don’t actually shop at Yankee Candle. But seriously, why are those Yankee Candles so expensive?

REVIEW: BK Chef’s Choice Burger

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BK Chef's Choice Burger

Smokey the Bear taught me only I can prevent forest fires. Bell Biv DeVoe instructed I should never trust a big butt and a smile. And, Chef Boyardee made me learn to not have high expectations when it comes to foods with the word “chef” in its name. So I’m a little skeptical about the new BK Chef’s Choice Burger from the Home of the Whopper.

Burger King’s latest burger is constructed using a flame-broiled 5.5-ounce burger patty, American cheese, thick hardwood-smoked bacon, romaine lettuce, red onions, tomatoes, BK’s original grill sauce, and a Brioche bun.

It looks and sounds good, but, to be honest, so does a big butt and a smile. Speaking of things that are round and juicy, perhaps the most interesting part of the burger is the beef patty, which, according to the BK website, is made using United States Department of Agriculture-certified ground chuck and is seasoned with salt and pepper.

The USDA certification kind of worries me, but not about the BK Chef’s Choice Burger. I’m worried about everything else on the menu. I might be mistaken, but it’s the first time Burger King has ever used the USDA card to describe their meat. So it makes me wonder if their other beef, like the flame-broiled patty on the Whopper, is USDA-certified.

The BK Chef’s Choice Burger was smaller than I thought it was going to be. It’s roughly the size of a McDonald’s Big Mac. Just like the recent BK Toppers, the BK Chef’s Choice Burger has a thick patty. The seasoned ground chuck was a good choice because it created a flavorful meat disc. The puck of ground chuck was a little dry and I couldn’t taste the salt and pepper, but it was good nonetheless.

The BK grill sauce had a really tasty peppery parmesan flavor. It reminded me of a caesar salad dressing. Just like the use of ground chuck, I thought it was a good choice to put on the BK Chef’s Choice Burger. The Brioche bun was soft, pleasant, and held together as my mouth made its way through the burger. The use of romaine lettuce was surprising and it’s definitely a step up from the pale, pathetic lettuce they use on their other burgers. But the tomatoes were the same old tomatoes and the cheese was the typical cheese. As for the red onions, they had a nice mild flavor that complemented the flavor of the ground chuck patty.

You might be wondering why I haven’t mentioned anything about the thick hardwood-smoked bacon. Well, let’s just say that little piggy didn’t go wee wee wee all the way into my burger, thanks to a Burger King cook. Am I disappointed there wasn’t any bacon? Of course. But even without the bacon, I think the BK Chef’s Choice Burger is really good.

However, I do have a problem with its price. I understand that it’s being marketed as a premium burger and it should have a price that matches, but when I look at the size of the burger, I can’t help but feel kind of ripped off. As I mentioned earlier, the BK Chef’s Choice Burger is about the size of a Big Mac, which in this day and age of Angus Third Pounders is kind of small. I paid $6.49 for just the sandwich, but even if I paid a dollar less, I would still feel like I’m not getting my money’s worth.

(Nutrition Facts – 650 calories, 40 grams of fat, 15 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 100 milligrams of cholesterol, 1,330 milligrams of sodium, 40 grams of carbohydrates, 7 grams of sugar, and 33 grams of protein.)

Other BK Chef’s Choice Burger reviews:
Grub Grade

Item: BK Chef’s Choice Burger
Price: $6.49 (sandwich only)
Size: N/A
Purchased at: Burger King
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Really good burger. BK Grill Sauce was really good. Ground chuck patty was good. Getting to quote Bell Biv DeVoe. Romaine lettuce is a step up from the usual pale lettuce BK uses.
Cons: Pricey for the size of the burger. My burger didn’t come with bacon. Never trust a big butt and a smile. Typical BK tomatoes. USDA certification for the meat in this burger makes me wonder about their other burgers.

REVIEW: Dunkin’ Donuts Pumpkin Donut

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Dunkin' Donuts Pumpkin Donut

In my lifetime, I’ve put a lot of questionable things in my mouth and raw pumpkin is the least troubling of them. The other things I’d rather not say. One year, being really bored, I ate a slice when I was carving a Jack O’Lantern for our annual Halloween party. I was a bit stunned because pumpkin has no real flavor. Go ahead and eat a piece when you are carving out those triangle eyes or nose.

See? It’s like the edible version of my boring cousin who is a short wave radio fetishist…no character whatsoever. Seriously, the only excitement that guy gets is when he hits one of those weird “number stations” that repeat digits in an eerie robotic voice. Don’t even get me started with the spooky ones that have “The Lincolnshire Poacher” playing after the numbers are repeated. I’m still creeped out when I hear the sound of a recorder or a flute. It’s a bit WickerMan-ish (not the Nicolas “flaring nostrils” Cage version mind you).

Getting back to pumpkins, what we are really doing is attributing the “taste” to a combination of nutmeg, cinnamon, and some ground ginger which is the major trifecta in pumpkin pies. Think about the pumpkin beers or pumpkin ice creams you have all consumed. Nutmeg is the dominant flavor and the remainder plays varying degrees of intensity.

The nutmeg/ginger combo is perhaps the most popular flavor that invokes our mind for the year-end holidays. The next holiday flavor has to be creamy menthol which is my favorite. When done well, both can be delicious regardless of what vessel is used to transport that essence. I myself like a Midori mixed with some creme de menthe for a holiday cocktail but I have great affection for nutmeg too.

If we’re playing for keeps on holiday tastes, my shout goes for all the lucky Jewish friends I have. They get to gobble up all those latkes during Hanukkah, and who the hell doesn’t love some fried potato pancakes and that eight candle of death: The flamethrower Menorah?

Dunkin’ Donuts wanting a piece of that holiday proverbial (pumpkin) pie has intelligently chosen a donut as its vessel and just recently introduced the limited edition pumpkin donut (that has to be the most times the word “donut” has been used in a sentence). Which I suppose is much more appealing to the masses versus a fried potato flavored donut or a jelly donut filled with sweet mint cream. I would buy both but I’m also the guy who ate a 7-Eleven Banh Mi which was about as successful as the Vietnam War.

I warn you dear reader and admit that Dunkin’ Donuts can vary from locations. There is one close to me where I swear the elderly riddled with bed sores in nursing homes are given more attention. The donuts here are hard and taste like afterthoughts.

Instead, I frequent the one where every time I go, the smell of fried dough lets me know it’s always damn time they make the donuts! When a “Dunkin'” donut is hot and fresh, it can rival those of the indy (and trendy) boutique donut shops that food/travel shows like to suggest we buy from lest we are bucktoothed knuckle-draggers.

With that said, know that this review is based on a shop with significant foot traffic thanks to being a neighbor with a hospital that has a major emergency trauma center. I bought two, one to eat immediately and the other to leave in that white bag to be scarfed down the following day. I wanted to see if the flavor held up since most of us are not Steven Seagal and do not eat all the donuts in one sitting.

I mean have you seen that guy? He was the freaking “squinting eyes/taking names/kicking ass” hero in Under Siege. Now that he’s a sworn border patrol agent, I’m sure the only Mexican he is going to catch is a chicken burrito or a beef chimichanga with extra sour cream.

I shelled out under two bucks for a pair of pumpkin donuts. The smell of the donut was pleasantly intense with spicy nutmeg and faint cinnamon wafting by. It was similar to the scent of a fresh baked banana or zucchini bread straight from of the oven. Images of roast turkeys, mittens, hot cocoa, and the Holiday Crate and Barrel catalog permeated my brain. Yes, I want a fifty dollar silver reindeer candelabra to validate my life.

Dunkin' Donuts Pumpkin Donut 2

The donut has a thin sheen of sugar glaze which cracked slightly when I bit into the fried cake donut. This was a very welcoming texture and the sweet glaze was just right, not heavy like a frosting. The cake was moist and perfectly dense. Shit, this was a good donut methinks.

The taste of the donut was at the same “Oh. Em. Gee.” level. It was a great hit of autumn spices and a tinge of nuttiness. I really enjoyed the fact the sweetness of the cake came from the translucent sugary coat. Dunkin’ Donuts was smart in not making the batter overly sweet and letting the spices do the singing and the sugar glaze perform its respective job.

Dunkin' Donuts Pumpkin Donut 3

The donut was still warm and practically melted in my mouth with each bite. Instead of a pumpkin pie, I actually want a box of these on Thanksgiving which I am sure some hipster already has thought of doing so he can look so “emo” and ironic-like. Screw you and your collection of Cut Copy t-shirts.

I left the other in the bag and would eat it the next morning while watching my DVR’d episodes of The Venture Bros. Did they hold up? For the most part, yes albeit a bit stale in texture but that’s to be expected. The comforting smell was still present and the taste was not affected. I would actually dunk these in milk or an espresso just to compensate for the slight dryness in the cake. Like Henchman 21, you can depend on these being a crowd pleaser. The pumpkin donut is definitely one of the things you want to put in your mouth this season.

(Nutritional Facts – 340 calories, 170 calories from fat, 19 grams of fat, 9 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 25 mg of cholesterol, 260 mg of sodium, 38 grams of total carbs, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 19 grams of sugar, and 3 grams of protein.)

Item: Dunkin’ Donuts Pumpkin Donut
Price: approximately 80 cents a donut
Size: 1 donut
Purchased at: Dunkin’ Donuts
Rating: 9 out of 10
Pros: The texture and the thin coat of sugar smartly combine into something close to mouth-feel nirvana. Steven Seagal was Above the Law and Hard to Kill. The taste is a pleasant pumpkin spice flavor that you will want to visit again. Dr. Girlfriend is really sexy if you put her on mute. This donut will invoke the holidays and make you feel festive. Cut Copy just rules, especially their second album.
Cons: This donut is only available for a short while. Steven Seagal is now Eating Burritos and is Huevos Rancheros Crazy. You need to buy from the right Dunkin’ Donuts (hint: go to the one near a hospital or other businesses that guarantee foot traffic all day and not just the morning). Brock Samson-less episodes kind of blow. Invoking thoughts of holidays suck when the only memories you have is arguing with Dad and “uncles” passing out on bitter egg nog.

REVIEW: Ben & Jerry’s Schweddy Balls

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Ben & Jerry's Schweddy Balls

Hi, everyone.  I’m Drew, and you’re reading The Impulsive Buy.  Well, the holiday season is almost here, and if you’re not an avid Delicious Dish listener like me, you may have missed this tidbit: frequent guest Pete Schweddy has sold his Season’s Eatings bakery to ice cream chain Ben & Jerry’s.  This is good news for consumers nationwide who have long dreamed of enjoying those famous balls, but were prevented by distance from doing so.  Thankfully B&J’s didn’t leave us hanging, developing a new flavor that Mr. Schweddy has repeatedly expressed a desire to dip his balls into.  And now it’s finally ready to be thrust upon the general public.
 
Even so, don’t think it was easy.  Schweddy Balls was released over a month ago, but it proved surprisingly hard to find.  I had to visit a lot of places, some less savory than others; but finally my persistence paid off and I was able to get my hands on Schweddy Balls.  Let’s give it a once-over, shall we?

The first thing that jumps out at you about Schweddy Balls is the color — very, very white, with just a few visible black spots that might concern you at first.  No worries though, as closer inspection reveals them to be malt balls and fudge-covered rum balls.  Yes, that’s right: B&J’s subscribes to the notion that if one ball is good, two are clearly better. The texture, as you’d expect, is quite different between the two varieties.  The rum ones, though lent some firmness by the fudge, are still fairly soft and squishy.  In contrast, the malt balls are quite hard and (be warned) make a loud noise when chewed.  No lie, my wife was actively annoyed by how loudly I was crunching my balls next to her.
 

Ben & Jerry's Schweddy Balls Closeup

Noise aside, both kinds of balls are pleasing to the tongue, the fudge and rum melding into a nice richness and the malt balls being… well, basically just regular malt balls.  They’re smaller than you might’ve expected, perhaps due to the cold.  In addition, they’re spread quite liberally throughout the mixture, so if you were worried about there not being enough balls to go around, think again.
 
The other thing you’ll notice right away about Schweddy Balls is the smell — if you put your nose right up there, you can really detect the rum fragrance.  Unfortunately, that also leads me to the biggest problem: the aroma is far stronger than the taste.  Perhaps in fear of overwhelming their audience, B&J’s made the hint of rum much less than a hint.  It’s barely detectable on its own, so you’re essentially just eating vanilla ice cream with balls in it.  Plentiful balls, to be sure, but not so much so that you’ll have one in every bite.  Probably half of your spoonfuls will just be vanilla ice cream; and while B&J’s know how to make a decent vanilla, it still could’ve benefited from a fudge swirl or something to keep things interesting.  You have to feel bad for Pete Schweddy, with the entire weight of the dish resting on his balls.
 
I’d be remiss if I didn’t briefly mention the durability of Schweddy Balls.  This may be a non-factor for most of you, but I purchased a carton on my lunch break, stored it in the work freezer, and then took a 40-minute car ride to a van rental place, a 10-minute wait, a 5-minute drive to a furniture store, 10 minutes of loading a table and chairs into the van, and a 5-minute drive to my house before it saw the inside of a freezer again.  Yet when I opened the carton the next day, there were no signs it had melted even a little.  Give them credit, those balls held up remarkably well.
 
I really wanted to give this flavor a higher score, because of both the salacious name and those panties-in-a-bunch parent groups protesting it being in stores while their kids are home viewing the original sketch on Hulu.  But while I’d love to tell you there’s no beating these balls, that’s just not true — they can be beaten, and beaten soundly, by many of B&J’s other flavors.  Weighted against average, everyday ice cream, this holds up pretty well.  But we’ve come to expect a lot more from those gentlemen from Vermont, and unfortunately their Schweddy Balls just don’t quite measure up.  It’s not terrible, but with the exception of the titular item, is just somewhat underwhelming.
 
Mmmm, balls!

(Nutrition Facts — 1/2 cup — 270 calories, 140 calories from fat, 15 grams of total fat, 10 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 60 milligrams of cholesterol, 65 milligrams of sodium, 31 grams of total carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of dietary fiber, 26 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein.)

Other Ben & Jerry’s Schweddy Balls reviews:
Junk Food Guy
Foodette Reviews
On Second Scoop

Item: Ben & Jerry’s Schweddy Balls
Price: $3.39
Size: 1 pint
Purchased at: Wegman’s
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Obscure “The State” references FTW.  The longer you search for Schweddy Balls, the more satisfying it is when you find it.  Carton references the “racy double entendres” of the original skit.  Plenty of balls to go around.  Plaid logo = nice little touch.  Rum/fudge balls are succulent and rich.  I got paid money to make fifty ball jokes — deal with it.
Cons: Malt balls make loud, annoying sound when chewed.  Kind of bland when you don’t get a ball in your mouth.  Doesn’t 26 grams of sugar just mean they dumped an entire jar of sugar in the carton?  Missed opportunity for “Waffle Coneheads” and “Chocolate Chip in a Box” cross-promotions.  Rum scent more powerful than rum flavor.  Ball jokes stopped being funny after the first three.

REVIEW: Triple Double Oreo Neapolitan

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Triple Double Oreo Neapolitan

The Triple Double Oreo Neapolitan has been out for a few months, but it only recently showed up at my local Superstore-Behemoth-That-Must-Not-Be-Named. However, I wouldn’t have noticed they carried it if I didn’t have to take a shortcut through the aisle of canned goods, at the end of which I found their stock of these Superstore-Behemoth-That-Must-Not-Be-Named-exclusive cookies.

No, I didn’t find them in the cookie aisle with all the other Oreo varieties. I found them somewhere a person would hide them if they didn’t want anyone to find them. Also, if I was a few inches shorter I may not have noticed them at all because they were on the top most shelf.

Actually, it’s surprising that my local Superstore-Behemoth-That-Must-Not-Be-Named carried it because when it comes to carrying new products, it sucks. For cheap goods, getting bruises from shopping carts being driven by children, and watching people frantically dig through the $5 DVD bin and get excited when they find the movie Double Impact, it’s quite good.

You see, I can walk into a Target and almost always come out with a new product to review. The same can be said about Safeway. But when it comes to the Superstore-Behemoth-That-Must-Not-Be-Named, all I’ve usually come out with is disappointment…and bruised ankles. It’s happened so much that I decided to give my disappointment a name — Blue Balls.

But after finally ending up at my local Superstore-Behemoth-That-Must-Not-Be-Named and trying the Triple Double Oreo Neapolitan, I have to say perhaps they were located at the end of the canned goods aisle because they’re not that great.

The Triple Double Oreo Neapolitan uses three crunchy Golden Oreo cookies and in between those are a layer of strawberry creme filling and a layer of chocolate creme filling. The color scheme looks like they would make an ugly pair of knee high argyle socks, but as a creme sandwich cookie, it’s not bad looking.

The issue I have with the Triple Double Oreo Neapolitan is that the strawberry creme’s flavor overwhelms the chocolate creme. It’s as if the strawberry creme is a Superstore-Behemoth-That-Must-Not-Be-Named and the chocolate creme is an unsupervised child who gets lost in the Superstore-Behemoth-That-Must-Not-Be-Named. Having what is basically a strawberries and creme Oreo is fine and it’s good, but the chocolate creme needed to stand out more in order for the cookie as a whole to stand out.

Overall, the Triple Double Oreo Neapolitan may not be Blue Balls-disappointing, but they are a letdown.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 cookie – 110 calories, 40 calories from fat, 4.5 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 1 gram of polyunsaturated fat, 2.5 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 65 milligrams of sodium, 15 milligrams of potassium, 15 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 8 grams of sugar, less than 1 gram of protein and 2% iron.)

Item: Triple Double Oreo Neapolitan
Price: $3.48
Size: 13.1 ounces
Purchased at: Superstore-Behemoth-That-Must-Not-Be-Named
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Crunchy Golden Oreo cookies. Three cookies and two different cremes. Finally, finding something somewhat new at the Superstore-Behemoth-That-Must-Not-Be-Named.
Cons: Disappointing. Strawberry creme overwhelms the cookie. Chocolate creme flavor is non-existent. One cookie has 110 calories. Parents who let their children drive shopping carts. My local Superstore-Behemoth-That-Must-Not-Be-Named not getting it sooner. Getting lost in a store.

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