REVIEW: Frito Lay Cheetos x Pepsi Shuwa Shuwa Cola Corn Snack (Pepsi-Flavored Cheetos)

Pepsi-flavored Cheetos 1

In 1818, Mary Shelley publishes Frankenstein, arguably the world’s first science fiction novel. It tells the harrowing tale of Victor Frankenstein, a single-minded student of science driven to ruin by his obsession with bestowing life on inanimate matter.

In the 1990 documentary RoboCop 2, director Irvin Kershner leads us on an exploration of the science of transferring human consciousness into deadly law enforcement robots. We quickly discover the dangers of such a procedure, as multiple test subjects commit suicide after finding themselves forever trapped in their mechanical bodies.

In 1994’s Jurassic Park, noted chaotician Dr. Ian Malcolm sums up the fears of late twentieth century society when commenting on the science of an island resort filled with genetically resurrected dinosaurs, saying, “your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could that they didn’t stop to think if they should.”

Time after time we are warned against charging recklessly into the untamed wilderness of science and technology, yet even in the last few years we find ourselves with peanut butter and jelly vodka, cronuts, Doritos Locos Tacos, Cherry Coke, and pizzas with hot dogs in the crust. These aren’t dinosaurs or robots. These are things we put willingly into our bodies.

So today I publish this review not so much as a review but as a mile marker for future historians to look to when our inevitable self-destruction finally occurs.

These Pepsi-flavored Cheetos are the latest food hybrid to spit in the eye of Mother Nature. They are from Japan.

Pepsi-flavored Cheetos 3

The nosegrope upon opening the bag gave me pause. I immediately identified something very close to flat cola. Flat Pepsi? I dunno. My nose palate is not so refined. Something else was there in equal measure and it took me a moment to realize that the aroma was the same given off by powdered cinnamon donuts. You know, the Entenmann’s ones in the three pack with powdered sugar and plain.

Pepsi-flavored Cheetos 4

In these snacks the cheese powder has been replaced with a cola powder that is disturbingly not brown. The first sensation, which I did not expect, was a very acidic bite. It’s very citrusy, almost sour. And it hits hard. It tries to capture the citrus notes of Pepsi, but it’s over the top. Too lemony. The sweeter cola flavor is there but it’s subtler and overpowered by the intense citrus. The flavors are very distinct and don’t really ever mesh well together. But they do linger in the mouth for quite a while to leave you with a weird, marginally accurate, if lemony, Pepsi aftertaste. The corn puff tastes like it should. It doesn’t do a lot besides acting as a vehicle, which is good because there is already a lot going on.

Pepsi-flavored Cheetos 2

Oh, did I mention these also fizz a little?! Yea! Not like crazy Pop Rocks fizzing, but there is some definite popping and crackling. It’s all about attention to detail, guys. I tip my hat to Frito-Lay for that one.

Overall, this is a pretty accurate flavor recreation. It’s an impressive effort to be sure. That said, I don’t like them. I could only get through a few of them. They’ve got a lot going on and are kind of intense. A few tweaks to the levels of citrus and cola and these could be passable.

These wouldn’t be in my top 100 dream flavor what-ifs, but I’m glad they exist. They either point to a futuristic flavor-fusion utopia in which anything is possible or an apocalyptic hell place where cyborg velociraptors chew our faces off with laser teeth.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 package – 414 kcal, 24.8 grams of fat, 614 milligrams of sodium, 44.6 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of protein.)

Item: Frito Lay Cheetos x Pepsi Shuwa Shuwa Cola Corn Snack
Purchased Price: $3.99 (plus shipping)
Size: 75 gram bag
Purchased at: eBay
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Pepsi-ish. A for effort. Fizzing snacks. Science.
Cons: Lingering aftertaste. Lemon. robot dinosaurs.

SPOTTED ON SHELVES – 8/7/2013

Here are some interesting new and limited edition products found on store shelves by us and your fellow readers. If you’ve tried any of the products, share your thoughts about them in the comments.

Pillsbury Heat-N-Go Mini Waffles and Pancakes

Do you hit snooze several times each morning? Well, you could go to sleep earlier so you don’t have to hit snooze so many times and enjoy a proper breakfast. Or you could go to sleep at an unreasonable time, hit the snooze button several times, and run out the door with these Pillsbury Heat-N-Go Mini Waffles or Mini Pancakes. (Spotted by Dubba at Walmart.)

Banquet Morning Bakes

Or if you cut back the snooze button hitting to one or two, you could fit in the five minute preparation time for these Banquet Morning Bakes. (Spotted by Jarred at Walmart.)

Lipton Indulge Soothe Refresh Keurig K-Cups

These Lipton Tea K-Cup names could also be the names for body washes. (Spotted by Joshua at Target.)

Wrigley's 5 Focus Peppermint

Wrigley's 5 Focus Spearmint

Wrigley’s 5 Focus gum have a strong burst of mint when you first chew it. I don’t know. A strong cooling sensation in my mouth sounds more like a distraction to me. (Spotted by Conal at Wawa.)

Thank you to all the photo contributors! If you’re out shopping and see an interesting new or limited edition product on the shelf, snap a picture of it, and send us an email ([email protected]) with where you found it and “Spotted” in the subject line. If you do so, you might see your picture in our next Spotted on Shelves post.

REVIEW: Popeyes Chicken Waffle Tenders

Popeyes Chicken Waffle Tenders

Living in New York, I’ve watched firsthand fried chicken get gentrified. Over the last few years yuppies and foodies and rich people have been trying to perfect fried chicken.

It’s akin to making the best mafia movie or writing the consummate coming-of-age novel or creating the perfect sports moment when, in this very world, there already exists The Godfather II, The Catcher in the Rye, and The Mark Sanchez Buttfumble, respectively. Why pay $100 for the Momofuku fried chicken when you could get on the L train and get a bucket of Popeyes, the perfect fried chicken, for one-tenth the price? (For the record, I have tried the Momofuku fried chicken dinner – feel free to skip it.)

I’m glad to see Popeyes is reclaiming the fried chicken media spotlight with a brand new product. Thankfully they’re making no claims on improving their already perfect fried chicken; Popeye’s is clearly just unveiling the new Chicken Waffle Tenders to try and capitalize on the recent chicken & waffles flavor craze. Their chicken breast strips are marinated in the regular mix of spices before being battered and fried in a “waffle-style coating”. I already like the chicken tenders on Popeyes everyday menu, so I was excited to taste their latest limited time item.

Popeyes Chicken Waffle Tenders Comparison

A coworker joined me in my recent foray to Popeyes, as I figured his British accent and sensibilities might add additional snark to the already snarky process of review writing. Our combo meals came with three Waffle Tenders, along with a biscuit, small side, fountain drink, and cup of honey maple dipping sauce. A Waffle Tender was noticeably darker in color and oilier in texture compared to the regular tender I bought as a point of comparison, though both had the same delicious, but depressing smell of fast food grease (I’m sure they came out of the same fryer).

Popeyes Chicken Waffle Tenders Innards

As for taste, the Waffle Tenders were really quite good. The meat was moist and well-seasoned, and pieces with concentrated areas of batter had a faint but distinctive sweet, yeasty flavor. While regular Popeyes tenders tend to taper off at each end, resulting in dry and almost too-crunchy parts of chicken, the waffle ones had more uniformity in the width of the meat, so they were consistent in their moistness and crunchiness.

I also enjoyed the Honey Maple dipping sauce. For some reason I had expected something with a mustard base, but the sauce was thick with the consistency and color of actual honey. The dipping sauce was sweet without approaching saccharine and even added a touch of tanginess to the proceedings.

What about the opinion of my cheeky coworker? He claimed, “It was like eating a sponge filled with grease, but in a very good way.” He had a point – the Waffle Tenders were clearly greasier than the regular ones, and I felt a little sick after eating all three.

Still, it’s something of a silly complaint since no one goes to Popeyes expecting to down a healthy meal that soothes an upset stomach. If that’s what you’re expecting us to review, maybe you should go start your own quasi-review website. (FYI, thedeliberateandsensiblebuy.com is available for $10.99 on GoDaddy.) Stay away from the gentrified fried chicken places, get down to your local Popeyes, and try the Chicken Waffle Tenders as soon as you can.

(Nutrition Facts – Not available on Popeyes’ website.)

Other Popeyes Chicken Waffle Tenders reviews:
Grub Grade
Brand Eating
Thrillist

Item: Popeyes Chicken Waffle Tenders
Purchased Price: $5.99 (for 3 piece combo)
Size: N/A
Purchased at: Popeyes
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Meat was tasty and well-seasoned, with consistent moistness and crunchiness. Sweet, yeasty flavor occasionally shone through. Honey Maple dipping sauce was sweet and tangy. Waffle Tenders combo meal is a great deal. Mark Sanchez jokes. British snarkiness. Everything at Momofuku except for the fried chicken.
Cons: Really greasy. You’ll probably get a stomachache. Gentrification of fried chicken. Being a Jets fan. Forcing your coworkers to go to Popeyes. Thedeliberateandsensiblebuy.com.

QUICK REVIEW: Weight Watchers Smart Ones Smart Creations Chicken Fajitas

Weight Watchers Smart Ones Smart Creations Chicken Fajitas

Purchased Price: $3.79
Size: 8 oz
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: It may not look like it, but there’s enough chicken, peppers, and onions to more than stuff the two tortillas. Tortillas are easy to bite through (I thought they were going to be tough after being microwaved). Adding beans and rice to the fajita gives them a little more flavor. Good source of fiber (thanks red beans). Doesn’t sizzle and draw attention to your table like Chili’s fajitas do.
Cons: Slightly bland fajitas. Rice and beans have a slightly weird buttery flavor. Chicken should’ve been marinated. Tortillas make my hands look huge.. Soggy, sad vegetables with no crunch. Not that filling.

Nutrition Facts: 290 calories, 45 calories from fat, 5 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 1.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 1 gram of monounsaturated fat, 30 milligrams of cholesterol, 580 milligrams of sodium, 44 grams of carbohydrates, 5 grams of fiber, 3 grams of sugar, 16 grams of protein, 20% vitamin A, 10% calcium, 25% vitamin C, and 10% iron.

REVIEW: General Mills Hershey’s Cookies ‘n’ Creme Cereal

Hershey's Cookies 'n' Creme Corn Puff Cereal Box

As a youth, I wasn’t very fond of chocolate, further solidifying my status as a “weird kid” and once again making my chocolate-loving mother wonder if there had been an accidental baby mix-up at the hospital when I was born.

I did, however, like white chocolate, and as time went on, I grew to enjoy milk chocolate in small amounts. So when Hershey’s introduced their Cookies ‘n’ Creme candy bar in 1994, it instantly became my favorite candy. White chocolate studded with crunchy, Oreo-esque cookie balls? Sold.

These days I’ve become more fond of milk than white chocolate. I would like to credit that to a refined palate, but given that I still eat like a college freshman, I don’t think I could say that with a straight face.

Hershey’s Cookies ‘n’ Creme will always hold a fond place in my heart, though. So when I saw that General Mills had teamed up with the chocolate powerhouse to make Cookies ‘n’ Creme Corn Puff Cereal, that weird kid that’s still inside of me said, “Yes. This is obviously a work of genius.”

Immediately afterward, the pessimistic adult in me said, “They probably went and fucked it all up.”

Before I could taste victory or disappointment, however, I couldn’t help but admire the back of the box.

Hershey's Cookies 'n' Creme Corn Puff Cereal Box Back

There’s something about sitting at the kitchen table eating cereal that just lends itself to staring at the back of the cereal box. I don’t know why; I just know that kids do it. Even if it’s boring as hell, they just…stare. So it’s nice that Hershey’s gave them something fun to stare at.

Hershey’s bills these as “brainteasers”, but even as a kid, I’m pretty sure my half-awake brain would have figured them out pretty easily. There’s some words “splashed with milk” to “obscure” the letters, some puff-shaped anagram puzzles, and a sudoku-esque number puzzle in a spoon. Just enough to get you through this part of your complete breakfast.

As for Cookies ‘n’ Creme Cereal itself: the balls were the perfect size for scooping into your mouth. This may not sound important, but it is. It’s been a while since I’ve eaten a corn puff cereal, but they seemed a little smaller than Kix, but not so small that I felt like I was eating a mound of spherical Pebbles. Size counts when it comes to cereal and…other things, and these puffs hit the sweet spot.

Penis-size joke and reference to balls in your mouth, all in one paragraph. I’ll take that Pulitzer now, thanks.

Hershey's Cookies 'n' Creme Corn Puff Cereal Puffs

Speaking of sweet, C’n’C Music Factory Cereal had just the right amount of sweetness. The chocolate balls actually had a toned-down chocolate flavor, which I appreciated. In fact, they tasted remarkably similar to Cocoa Puffs.

The vanilla balls were even more muted in flavor. Too muted, in fact. I keep calling them vanilla instead of white chocolate because, well, they tasted like vanilla, which is quite different than white chocolate. While I would have liked a stronger flavor from these, they did add a nice vanilla note that paired excellently with the chocolate. Putting it in other terms, I’d say the ratio of chocolate to vanilla in C’n’C is about 85/15. I would have preferred something more like 65/35.

Hershey's Cookies 'n' Creme Corn Puff Cereal with Milk

As for the texture, I’m pretty sure General Mills has got corn puff cereal down to a science at this point. They had just the right amount of crunch that doesn’t immediately go to mush when you add milk, but doesn’t cross the line from “crunch” to “I think I might be eating a bowl of pebbles. The literal kind.”

Oh, and those little flecks that make this cereal look similar to its Hershey’s Cookies ‘n’ Creme namesake? Yeah, that’s purely decorative. They really brought nothing to the flavor party.

In fact, Hershey’s Cookies ‘n’ Creme Cereal really tasted nothing like the candy bar. I mean, I’m not going to sue them for false advertising – I’m not even that irritated by it, because I really liked the cereal – but if you’re expecting an exact replica of the candy magically transformed into cereal form, that’s going to be a wish unfulfilled.

Remember how I mentioned that the chocolate portion of this cereal tasted remarkably like Cocoa Puffs? Well, in my research, I found something interesting: chocolate and vanilla Cocoa Puffs already exist, or existed, and The Impulsive Buy even reviewed them back in 2008. And hey, look at that – those are also made by General Mills! This seems suspiciously like a case of “re-branding and adding some little flecks”.

Despite this, I really did like Hershey’s Cookies ‘n’ Creme Cereal. It wasn’t too sweet, the chocolate wasn’t overwhelming, and the size and texture were just what I want from a puff cereal. The vanilla added a nice complimentary note to the chocolate, but I would have liked it to be a little more prominent. Also, while I enjoyed the fact that the chocolate was mild, chocolate lovers may be disappointed by that.

I’m not generally a cereal eater, and it’s not often that I’ll go back and buy an item I’ve reviewed just for my own eating pleasure, but I think Hershey’s Cookies ‘n’ Creme Cereal is going to have a place in my cupboard as long as it stays on store shelves. And if it doesn’t, I guess I could just try and find some Cocoa Puffs Combos!

(Nutrition Facts – 3/4 cup – 110 calories, 25 calories from fat, 3 grams of fat, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 1.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 1 gram of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 125 milligrams of sodium, 55 milligrams of potassium, 21 grams of carbohydrates, 1 grams of dietary fiber, 9 grams of sugar, 11 grams of other carbohydrates, 1 gram of protein, and a number of vitamins and minerals.)

Item: General Mills Hershey’s Cookies ‘n’ Creme Cereal
Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: 10.5 oz box
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Tastes like Cocoa Puffs complimented with vanilla. Having something fun to stare at on the box as you eat. Balls are the perfect size puffs for a spoon. “Balls in your mouth” jokes. Perfect crunch that holds up in milk. Celebrate if you miss Cocoa Puffs Combos.
Cons: Doesn’t really taste like Hershey’s Cookies ‘n’ Creme candy. Being the weird kid. Would have liked a bigger vanilla presence. Little chocolate flecks seem just for decoration. Chocolate flavor may be too mild for some. Now I have “Everybody Dance Now” stuck in my head. Pretty much just re-branded Cocoa Puffs Combos.

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