REVIEW: Herr’s Natural Kettle Cooked Sundried Tomato Pesto Potato Chips

The potato chip is the kingpin in the world of greasy, salty, and lip smacking-good snack foods that are currently on the FBI’s Most Wanted List since there’s a “War on Childhood Obesity.” Of course, our friends on Capitol Hill are trying to put an end to delicious snacks in schools, because the fat kid is now the morbidly obese kid who had a special about him on TLC, as well as a tear-jerking episode on Dr. Phil.

Herr’s (and some of the potato chip big boys) is trying to shed the stigma of the standard potato chip. The stereotypical scene of an overweight man, wearing a tight undershirt with several unidentified stains, sitting on an equally stained couch with one hand on the remote and the other in his jumbo-sized bag of potato chips comes to mind when thinking about the classic snack food, but slap the word “natural” on them, you’re speaking to an entirely different demographic.

Besides having a name longer than the line at the Cheesecake Factory, Herr’s Natural Kettle Cooked Sundried Tomato Pesto is a very crunchy, tasty snack. If you’re a fan of kettle cooked chips (being a native New Englander I was practically raised on Cape Cod Chips, and I didn’t turn into the fat kid, so you can suck it health food lobbyists), and live in an area where Herr’s is available I suggest you pick up a bag of any of their kettle chips, because they are all good, but the Sundried Tomato Pesto are exceptionally good; like slap your momma and say “Wham Bam Thank Ya Ma’am” good (I suggest you do NOT do that to your mother and I suggest you don’t “word” her either, because she will think you’re lame, especially if you’re still wearing Zubaz and have your eyebrows trimmed like Vanilla Ice circa 1991).

The chips are perfectly crunchy, but not like chomping on glass like how some brands of kettle chips are. There’s not really a sundried tomato taste to them, which I personally didn’t mind since I did buy them for the pesto aspect, and I was very pleased with the pesto flavor they provided.

Like all bags of snacks, half of the bag was pumped with air, which left me with less chips than desired, but the amount was perfect to pair alongside a nice sandwich on herb bread.

Herr’s Natural Kettle Cooked Sundried Tomato Pesto may not be as exotic as some of the flavors Kettle Chips pops out with, like Yogurt & Green Onion, but they hold their own, and since they are natural, they don’t have to hide from the feds.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 ounce (about 13 chips) – 140 calories, 8 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 300 milligrams of sodium, 16 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 2 grams of sugar, 2 grams of protein, 2% iron.)

Item: Herr’s Natural Kettle Cooked Sundried Tomato Pesto Potato Chips
Price: 99 cents
Size: 2.125 oz (60.2 g)
Purchased at: Wawa
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Kettle cooked, but doesn’t feel like chewing on glass. No preservatives. Nice herb taste. Low in saturated fat compared to other chips. A mother making fun of her 35-year-old son who still wears Zubaz. TLC shows that have nothing to do with Jon, Kate or the number eight.
Cons: Small size. The new generation not knowing the word moderation. Not available in all areas. People who still say “Word to your mother” in serious conversations. Can’t taste tomato in them. Vanilla Ice’s facial grooming habits in the early 90’s.

REVIEW: Pringles Restaurant Cravers Onion Blossom

Pringles Restaurant Cravers Onion Blossom

The Pringles Restaurant Cravers Onion Blossom potato crisps are based on the Outback Steakhouse appetizer known as the Bloomin’ Onion, which is not Australian in any way. For those of you who haven’t had the pleasure of being introduced to a Bloomin’ Onion and the unknown amounts of saturated fat and sodium it provides, it’s basically the worst thing one can do to get revenge on onions for giving us bad breath.

Imagine having more than a dozen deep slices around your body, then opening up those wounds more, coating those open gashes with a batter, then deep frying your entire body to a golden brown, and having your body picked apart and dipped into a spicy sauce. That’s what the onion has to experience for turning the gum and mint industry into a multi-billion dollar one and also for making us cry whenever we cut them.

Of course, I could make it much worse for onions, but I have yet to figure out a way to make them eat themselves and then blow heavily on themselves.

I imagined the Pringles Restaurant Cravers Onion Blossom would be like eating a potato and an onion making sweet, sweet love using a spicy dipping sauce as lubricant, but instead it mostly tasted like the spicy dipping sauce lubricant, which made sense because a Bloomin’ Onion without its sauce pretty much bloomin’ sucks. It’s lightly covered with an orange powder that give each potato crisp a mild horseradish flavor with a little bit of garlic and onion.

I’m not much of a horseradish kind of guy, but I have to say that I did enjoy the flavor of these Pringles. But they weren’t as appetizing as Outback Steakhouse’s Bloomin’ Onion because I think they lacked the three things that make a Bloomin’ Onion so special: high amounts of saturated fat, lot of sodium and being surrounded by a faux Australian ambience that makes Aborigines and Australians angry.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 ounce – 150 calories, 11 grams of fat, 3 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 230 milligrams of sodium, 14 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 1 gram of sugar, 1 gram of protein and 6% Vitamin C.)

Item: Pringles Restaurant Cravers Onion Blossom
Price: $2.49
Size: 6.38 ounces
Purchased at: Walgreens
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Tasty. Tastes like the spicy sauce given with the Bloomin’ Onion. Nice horseradish flavor. Super Stack. No trans fat. Significantly healthier than a Bloomin’ Onion. Getting revenge on onions.
Cons: People who don’t like horseradish won’t like it. Slightly high in sodium. A Bloomin’ Onion without sauce. Having to chew gum after eating onions. Eating an entire Bloomin’ Onion by yourself. Eating an entire can on Pringles in one sitting.

REVIEW: Popchips

Let me tell you what sucks about getting old; it’s not being able to eat things that I used to eat in the quantities I want to eat them in. I remember when I could eat an entire can of Pringles in one sitting and the only consequence would be constipation. Today, if I were to eat an entire can of Pringles in one sitting not only would I have constipation, I would also increase my blood pressure and make it harder for me to fit into my waist 32 jeans.

I also remember a time when I could eat an entire pint of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream during a viewing of the movie The Notebook. But thanks to the pints of ice cream I’ve consumed over the years, not only are my arteries clogged, but apparently so are my tear ducts, which makes it extremely hard to express my sadness through crying when Noah and Allie die peacefully together holding each other’s hand at the end of The Notebook.

Because of my ever-slowing metabolism, ever-expanding waistline and the ever-deepening indentation in my couch, I’ve been having to choose healthier snack choices and eating them in reasonable serving sizes. That’s why I’ve been eating these Popchips, which I’ve seen at every Jamba Juice I’ve been to. They’re all-natural potato chips and they contain no preservatives, artificial flavors, cholesterol, saturated fat and trans fat. What separates these from regular potato chips is that they aren’t fried. Instead they’re “popped,” which according to the company involves applying heat and pressure to the potatoes until they pop. The Popchips are slightly greasy, but that’s due to their use of safflower and sunflower oil in the seasoning.

Popchips come in flavors for a variety of palates: original, barbeque, parmesan garlic, salt & pepper, and sea salt & vinegar. I’ve tried every flavor and I enjoyed all of them. My favorite out of the bunch was the parmesan garlic.

Are they better tasting than regular fried potato chips?

The short answer.

No.

The long answer that’s long due to too many adjectives.

There’s something about thin, round slices of potato placed in a huge, scalding oil bath that warps them into deformed, golden shapes that tastes so good and makes them extremely crunchy and crack-addictive, which the Popchips can’t match.

They may not be addictive and as crunchy as regular potato chips, but they’re quite delectable and make Lays Baked Potato Chips, which was my previous guilt-free potato chip alternative, taste even more like cardboard. I do wish I could find bags bigger than the one-ounce ones I can get from Jamba Juice because I finish the entire bag at around the 35 minute mark in The Notebook, when Noah and Allie are trying to make sweet, sweet love for the very first time but are interrupted by Noah’s friend.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 bag – (some nutrition values varies between flavors) – 120 calories, 4 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 250-310 milligrams of sodium, 20 grams of carbs, 1 gram of fiber, 0-2 grams of sugar, and 1 gram of protein.)

Item: Popchips
Price: FREE
Size: 1 ounce
Purchased at: Given by nice PR people
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Delectable. Crunchy. Healthier than regular potato chips. No saturated and trans fats. Better than Baked Lays. Comes in a number of flavors. The Notebook.
Cons: Not as tasty or crunchy as regular potato chips. Hard to find bigger bags of it. Constipation from eating a can of Pringles. My ever-slowing metabolism, ever-expanding waistline and the ever-deepening indentation in my couch. Being interrupted while trying to make sweet, sweet love for the very first time.