REVIEW: Sonic Trick or Treat Blast

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Sonic Trick or Treat Blast Cup

Never, in the history of man, has anyone ever proclaimed “Oreo” to be their favorite Halloween treat. This is because, quite obviously, Oreo cookies are not a Halloween candy. Much like a succulent ham, or a roast leg of lamb, they are an everyday indulgence that knows no seasonality. Therefore, the King of Sandwich Cookie’s inclusion in Sonic’s new Trick-or-Treat Blast is a bit confounding.

That said, it’s actually one of this treat’s few bright spots. I’ll explain in a bit.

But first, you’re probably asking, “What is this Sonic Trick-or-Treat Blast, anyway?” Well, let me tell you. This seasonal Sonic Blast comes in either vanilla or chocolate ice cream, and features Oreo cookie crumbles, mini M&M’s, and Snickers candy bar pieces.

So, you know, two perfectly fine Halloween candies and a random creme-filled cookie.

Sonic Trick or Treat Blast Top

Like I said, though, the cookie works well in the midst of all the ice cream chaos. And really, it’s because the ice cream-softened pieces give your teeth a much needed break. If you are at all familiar with ice cream “mix-ins,” you’ll know that M&M’s — particularly those of the miniature variety — are a cracked molar just lurking in a mountain of sugary goodness. Biting into the Blast for the first time, that was my initial thought: Dear God, please protect my teeth.

Sonic Trick or Treat Blast Spoon

My next thought was, hey, was that peanut butter, and if so, why? However, a nugget of nougat quickly followed and reminded me about the presence of Snickers; I’d simply encountered a rogue nut. The Snickers was a nice respite, but unfortunately, it seemed to be the least prevalent of the three inclusions.

Sonic Trick or Treat Blast Topless

By the lower 50% of the confection, in fact, it was a virtual wasteland, void of candy (and cookie) chunks; there was nothing left but plain ice cream featuring colorful streaks from the ghosts of M&M’s past.

And truly, that was the story of this Blast: bits and piece of mostly-indiscernible sweet stuff in regular vanilla ice cream. Nothing was bad (well, with the exception of the painful candy shard factor, I suppose), but nothing was really great, either. I was left thinking the whole thing felt a little one-dimensional. My 6-year-old had a bite and said, “YUMMY!” which, sure, why not. Perhaps she’s the target audience. And so, if you are a 6-year-old reading this review, this Sonic Trick or Treat Blast is a 10. But also, if you are a 6-year-old reading this review… huh? Shouldn’t you be not on the internet at all, please? I beg of you.

Anyway, what would have made this better? Well, some Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, for one. Maybe some Twix? How about a Butterfinger? You know, other actual Halloween candies. In true gluttonous American fashion, why not, as they say, go “big” or go “home”? Remember going to the soda fountain at the gas station when you were a kid and making a “suicide” with 10 different kinds of soda? Do that, but make it a Blast. That would have been a winner. Maybe next October.

Purchased Price: $4.59
Size: Small
Purchased at: Sonic
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: Unavailable on website.

REVIEW: Dairy Queen Oreo Mocha Fudge Blizzard

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Dairy Queen Oreo Mocha Fudge Blizzard Cup

What is the Dairy Queen Oreo Mocha Fudge Blizzard?

It’s proof that the marketing department at Dairy Queen is lazy! OK, maybe they are not lazy, and I’m sure they have lots of other important work keeping them busy. But the Oreo Mocha Fudge Blizzard was part of the fall Blizzard menu announced back in early September (which, by the way, was still summer), and now the same flavor is the Blizzard of the Month for October. The DQ website even proclaims it to be “new.” This new-ish Blizzard features Oreo cookies, choco chunks, and coffee.

How is it?

Let me preface this review by saying I’m not a coffee drinker, and I think I’ve only had it maybe five times in my life. With that said, it’s not that I dislike the taste of coffee but rather that I view it simply as a vehicle to get caffeine into my bloodstream. As a kid, my preferred vehicle (besides the Ferrari poster on my wall) was Mountain Dew, then Red Bull and Monster, and now just any of the 217 varieties of energy drinks at the convenience store will do the trick for me. So I’ve never really felt the need to drink coffee, and being one who spills drinks with great regularity, I’ve found it better not to mess with liquids that are hot and/or brown. I trust your enjoyment of this Blizzard will partly depend on whether you like coffee, but I was a bit surprised how much I enjoyed this considering my coffee indifference.

Dairy Queen Oreo Mocha Fudge Blizzard Spoon

The coffee taste is rather mild and subdued, and if you get enough Oreo cookies and chocolate in a spoonful, you might forget the coffee flavor is even there. Oreo and choco chunks are two Blizzard staples that have appeared many times over the years, along with various sugary friends and for a good reason.

Dairy Queen Oreo Mocha Fudge Blizzard Dig

The big Oreo pieces are always tasty, especially when you get one with some crème filling still attached, and I love the way the magical Oreo dust gets mixed in throughout the Blizzard. And the choco chunks deliver an extra dose of chocolatey goodness throughout. The coffee flavor is just enough to make this version different, but not so much that it overpowers the chocolate flavors. It’s like the coffee knows that he or she is not the star of the show and is happy to play a supporting role.

Anything else you need to know?

This Blizzard does not contain coffee straight from the pot but instead has coffee concentrate, which includes ingredients that I can neither pronounce nor define, like polydimethylsiloxane. According to Wikipedia, my one-stop-shop for all research, polydimethylsiloxane is the “most widely used silicon-based organic polymer due to its versatility and properties leading to a manifold of applications.”

Dairy Queen Oreo Mocha Fudge Blizzard Top

Now that I have cleared that up for you, I researched whether this Blizzard might have any caffeine. After minutes more of research, my answer is that it probably has little, if any, but I don’t really know. Judging by the mild coffee taste, I don’t think too much coffee concentrate is used, so I had to drink a can of Lightning Tornado Laser Super Turbo Energy Drink that I picked up at 7-Eleven to finish this review.

Conclusion:

In general, I think there are three types of Blizzard: ones that are just OK (with ice cream and candy/cookies/brownies a Blizzard can never truly be bad), ones that are solidly good, and then a handful that truly stand out, like the long-gone-but-not-forgotten Nerds Blizzard.

This one falls into the middle category. It’s not worth dropping what you are doing to head to DQ (especially since it will likely still be around in November as part of the fall menu). But it’s certainly worth ordering one the next time you visit.

Purchased Price: $3.99
Size: Small
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (Small) 740 calories, 30 grams of fat, 17 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 50 milligrams of cholesterol, 340 milligrams of sodium, 108 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of dietary fiber, 84 grams of sugar, and 14 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Dunkin’ The Charli Cold Brew Coffee

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Dunkin The Charli Cold Brew Coffee Cup 2

What is Dunkin’s “The Charli”

What? You don’t know TikTok superstar Charli D’Amelio’s favorite Dunkin’ order?

Pff, I scoff at you. Everyone knows it’s a medium cold brew with whole milk and three pumps of caramel!

How is it?

How is it, or WHY is it?

I have to admit, I didn’t get “The Charli,” literally or figuratively. I technically cheated and got a small, which I nicknamed, “The Chaz.” (A large is obviously “The Charles.”)

Dunkin The Charli Cold Brew Coffee Cup

I mean, it’s a cold brew with milk and a lot of sugary caramel syrup. I think smalls only get two pumps, but even that was a bit too sweet for my blood. I don’t get flavors in cold brew because it masks the cold brew flavor and makes it taste like a regular iced coffee. It’s a subtle difference, but I notice it. Whole milk is not my #1 dairy choice, but it was fine.

Now to get to the why…hmm, how do I write about this weird collaboration without sounding like an angry geezer?

Dunkin The Charli Cold Brew Coffee Bottom

Anything else you need to know?

“Charli Cold Brew” sounds like the name of the guy who gets the mafia coffee, or the worst mixtape rapper of all time. Notice how I said “mixtape rapper” instead of “Soundcloud rapper.” That should give you an indication that I probably shouldn’t speak about a 16-year-old girl who dances for 15 seconds on an app I’ve never used, the eponymous Charli D’Amelio.

She’s a massive internet star, but I’m just going on Dunkin’s word – there was zero chance I was Googling a teenager dancing.

Look, I’m sure Dunkin’s partnering with Charli has brought them a ton of business from kids who probably shouldn’t be drinking cold brew, but I just don’t understand how absolutely lazy this campaign is. There’s more to the partnership, though. You can win a “virtual hangout with Charli,” but even that strikes me as half-baked.

“It’s her favorite drink, gramps!” Fair, but this is just a regular menu item. Why not fib a little and release something new and exciting? It’s like that ridiculous Travis Scott meal at McDonald’s. People inexplicably flocked there to get Sprite and some BBQ sauce on a Quarter Pounder. They couldn’t at least add a special pickle to the burger or something?!

I don’t like this new trend of brand/celebrity collaborations that aren’t bringing anything new to the table. What’s the point? Why are famous chains doing the “name a deli sandwich after a customer” thing?

Side note: when I realized my local deli didn’t have a “Vin,” I asked, “What am I chopped liver?!” Now they serve a chopped liver sandwich called the “Vin.” (2 out of 10.)

But seriously, am I wrong to be ticked off at the marketing, or am I reading the situation wrong?

Conclusion:

“You’re talking about them, Old Timer?! It’s obviously working!”

I know, I just find it so lazy! I can’t shake that feeling, which is probably a Charli dance video title.

Dunkin Charli Dance

As far as I know, Dunkin’ has never collaborated with a celebrity like this. They decided to break the (way too much) ice with a kid from a niche app by promoting a regular variety of cold brew coffee? Who are the ad wizards who came up with this one?! (I’m showing my age.)

Ya know what? I’m already too deep into “get off my lawn” territory here. I’ll shut up. You want a Charli, go get a Charli. Tell ’em Cactus Jack sent ya.

Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: Small
Purchased at: Dunkin
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: Not available on the website.

REVIEW: McDonald’s Chips Ahoy McFlurry

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McDonald s Chips Ahoy McFlurry

When was the last time you bought regular Chips Ahoy! Cookies?

I’m talking about those run of the mill, plain ol’ blue bag Chocolate Chip Chips Ahoy!?

I bet it wasn’t recently. Why would you? I did the math, and there are approximately 394 better cookie options sold in any supermarket at any given time. Hell, Chips Ahoy (no more exclamation points) spinoffs probably equate for about 50% of those.

They’re iconic, but they’re just not that good anymore. They’ve been lapped. I have no time for the old school “meh” flavor and texture of a regular Chips Ahoy, so why do I wanna try them as an ice cream topper so badly?

I guess I can chalk it up to loving the Chipwich. And the McDonald’s McFlurry.

The newest member of the McDonald’s frozen family blends chunks of Chips Ahoy cookies and caramel in its classic vanilla soft serve ice cream.

A blended Chipwich with caramel swirls? That sounds damn good to me regardless of the cookie.

If you’ve ever had a McFlurry – and I know you have – you know that iconic vanilla soft serve is a perfect base.

McDonald s Chips Ahoy McFlurry Top

McDonald’s soft serve will forever hold a soft spot in my heart. I always reminisce about getting one of those complimentary tiny cones when I went there as a kid. I wish they sold it as a standard vanilla ice cream in stores, so I can mess around and make my own McFlurry Frankenstein monsters at home.

McDonald s Chips Ahoy McFlurry Cookie Closeup

The aforementioned “meh” texture of Chips Ahoy makes for an ideal ice cream add-in. They never lose that crunch, and I just find that it works better in morsel-sized bites.

McDonald s Chips Ahoy McFlurry Caramel Lid

The heaping blob of caramel piped into the ice cream is the star of the show. It acted as a binding agent that delivered a generous bite of cookie with every scoop of ice cream.

As I ate on, I realized exactly what this reminded me of — a coconut-less Girl Scout Samoas Sundae.

I don’t know how I could dislike a cookie so much but love it when it’s added to ice cream. But here we are. I feel the same way about the original Milk Chocolate bag of M&M’s. I would never buy them on their own, yet I can’t get enough of them in ice cream.

This was one of the better McFlurries I’ve had in ages. It also acted as a delicious neutralizing dessert for the Spicy McNuggets (I’d give them a 7 out of 10) I ate before it.

I went in knowing it would be decent at worst. Vanilla ice cream, chocolate chip cookies, and caramel, how could it be bad? I came out shocked at just how good it was. Usually, a “snack size” McFlurry hits the spot just fine, but I was actually bummed I didn’t opt for at least a medium.

I plan on trying the McNuggets again, so you better believe I’ll be chasing them with another Chips Ahoy McFlurry, exclamation point. I hope the ice cream machine is operational next time you hit up Mickey D’s because you need to give this a try.

Purchased Price: $2.79
Size: Snack
Purchased at: McDonald’s
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 460 calories, 13 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 210 milligrams of sodium, 77 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 53 grams of sugar, and 9 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Domino’s Cheeseburger Pizza

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Domino s Cheeseburger Pizza Whole

There is a semi-large, local to Kansas City pizza chain that makes a really fine cheeseburger pizza. I just thought I’d throw that out there to let it be known that a tasty cheeseburger pizza is within the realm of possibility.

What this local chain does right, it’s worth noting, is add pickles (you know, sliced pickle “chips”) and gobs of mustard. Now, I’m not even a mustard and pickle person on my REGULAR cheeseburger, let alone when I consume a pizza masquerading as a cheeseburger. But on this particular pie, it works.

Sadly, unless you are in the KC Metro area, you can’t have this unorthodox delight. Instead, I present to you, Domino’s depressing new cheeseburger pizza. According to the chain, their pizza is made with “a ketchup-mustard sauce, American cheese, beef, fresh onions, diced tomatoes, shredded provolone and cheddar cheese.” Opening the box, I was pleasantly surprised to see how well it had been constructed. The smell was appealing, too, but only in a generic, “yep, that smells like a pizza, alright” sort of way.

The visual and olfactory positives would be the high points of this forgettable dining experience.

Domino s Cheeseburger Pizza Plated

The first thing I noticed when taking a bite was the overpoweringly obnoxious falsity that is American cheese. I’ve unwittingly ended up with American cheese on another Domino’s pizza at some dark point in the past, and all I really want to know is why? American cheese has its place in the world, sure – on an actual cheeseburger, mixed up in some scrambled eggs, melting messily atop a McDonald’s breakfast sandwich – but the desire to include it on a pizza is peculiar, no matter what the pizza purports to be.

The next thing I noticed was that I DIDN’T notice the sauce. As previously stated, the pizza was supposed to have a ketchup-mustard sauce. There was something under the cheese, I think, but all I really detected were subtle notes of slightly tangy wet.

Onions were present, but there were few and they added little, and the beef was your standard pre-formed, pre-cooked, straight-from-a-box, hamburger pellet that seems to find its way onto any national chain pizza when “beef” is involved. (Somewhere there is a beef pellet factory churning out hundreds of thousands of pounds of this product annually, I’m sure.)

Domino s Cheeseburger Pizza Closeup

Two things surprised me in a good way: the diced tomatoes added a pleasant and necessary juiciness to the proceedings (and I say this as someone who is generally anti-hot tomatoes in most situations) and the hand-tossed crust tasted fresh and flavorful, with a buttery, crunchy exterior and a soft, pillowy interior.

Domino s Cheeseburger Pizza Floppy

In fact, the crust was so enjoyable, and the construction and freshness of the overall pizza so impressive, I found myself excited to try Domino’s again at some point in the near future. Only, you know, not this particular pizza. And okay, probably not for full price. But the next time they run one of their 50% off specials? I will definitely consider probably giving them another shot. Maybe.

Purchased Price: $11.99 (promo price)
Size: Large
Rating: 4 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 slice) 380 calories, 19 grams of fat, 9 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 50 milligrams of cholesterol, 880 milligrams of sodium, 35 grams of carbohydrates, 1 grams of fiber, 4 grams of sugar, and 15 grams of protein.

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