Fast Food – Page 131 – The Impulsive Buy

REVIEW: McDonald’s Sweet N’ Spicy Honey BBQ Glazed Tenders

Adam / September 4, 2018 / Reviews / 8 Comments

I love the insolence of Honey BBQ.

Think about it. In an oversaturated food landscape where barbeque has become hyper-regionalized, all about the smoke, and increasingly shaped by other cuisines, Honey BBQ announces itself as unapologetically one-note.

Where other barbecue sauces hit you with a variety of flavors from fruity to tangy to smoky to hot, Honey BBQ essentially announces itself as the potluck contribution of Winnie the Pooh.

At the risk of glancing over the “Spicy” in McDonald’s new Sweet N’ Spicy Honey BBQ Glazed Tenders, that’s basically the story with the latest LTO from the Golden Arches. Sure, there’s a slight kick of cayenne on the backend of the tenders, but it’s more “hmm” than anything else.

Heatseekers be warned, these are not a reincarnation of Chick-fil-A’s unicornish Spicy Chicken Nuggets. If you’re looking for genuine heat, these are not the tenders you’re looking for.

The thing is, they don’t have to be. The first bite of the first tender was chicken tender heaven. Suddenly, marketing buzzwords like “crispy,” “juicy,” and even the highly suspect, if not potentially reprehensible, “finger licking” carry meaning beyond a 30-second radio spot cliché.

For chicken tender aficionados, that first bite is less a taste sensation and more a moment, as if the combined flavors of every horrible-for-you food came together and created a slow-motion music video of you chomping away.

The glaze, meanwhile, is a double-edged sword, one that invites you to lick the sticky-sweet goo as you would a popsicle, but at the cost of precious crispiness on the part of the tender’s breading. While excellent as far as Honey BBQ goes, the sauce was inconsistently applied.

While I’d avoid sticking the c-word label on the tenders, I’ll be the first to admit that to some taste buds they may seem cloying. Such is the biological reductionism of Honey BBQ, which functions at its best when paired with crispy, fatty foods like those $1 Wise Honey BBQ potato chips it sells at Dollar General, or, as I’ve found, boneless all-white meat chicken strips at McDonald’s.

If you can make peace with this, you will like these tenders. If not, well, there’s always a petition to get Chick-fil-A’s spicy nuggets to go national.

(Nutrition Facts – 4 pieces – 640 calories, 27 grams of fat, 4 grams of saturated fat, 0 gram of trans fat, 105 milligrams of cholesterol, 1780 milligrams of sodium, 63 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 35 grams of sugar, and 39 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $4.19
Size: 4-piece
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Nails the Honey BBQ flavor. Addictively saucy. Tenders stay fairly crispy despite excess moisture. Gives “all-white meat” a good name.
Cons: Spice is modest and not exactly caliente. Inconsistent saucing. Terribly, terribly messy to eat.

REVIEW: Carl’s Jr. Froot Loops Mini Donuts

Sean / August 31, 2018 / Reviews / 8 Comments

I love hip-hop.

And I love junk food.

Those may seem like unrelated interests, but truth be told, they have a lot more in common than you think. They both have very high highs – Travis Scott’s Astroworld and Krispy Kreme’s Reese’s Outrageous Doughnut, and very low lows – Hostess’ Cotton Candy Twinkies and the general existence of Lil Pump. They both simultaneously flourish and hurt themselves with excessive output.

Like Nabisco’s continual push to release more Oreo flavors than the year before with only a few true gems, or when E-40 released “The Block Brochure,” with nearly 60 songs and only a handful worthy of repeat listens. But the shining light of commonality between these two separate things is their ability to thrive in collaboration. Hip-hop tracks that bring together three or four of the hottest MC’s in the game are almost always bangers, and when junk food titans join forces to create a cohesive product, it isn’t always great, but at the very least it’s fun.

Welcome to the world, Carl’s Jr’s Froot Loops Mini Donuts!

First things first, the packaging is fantastic. So much of the allure of limited time junk and fast food lies in the bag or box that it comes in, and this Froot Loops-branded carton that looks like it could house mozzarella sticks or jalapeno poppers sets the stage for a wonderful fulfilling experience before the eating even begins.

Opening the box is a sight and smell to behold, with five different colored donuts that mimic Froot Loops’ signature rings perfectly and carries the bold, strong scent of the cereal with absolute precision. It’s a sensory symphony of artificial fruit flavor and sugar. Some of the donuts have a thicker coating like a layer of frosting, and some have a thinner, more dissolved look like a traditional glaze.

My hypothetical rule of collaborative truth continues to thrive as these donuts taste as good as they look and smell. Super soft and slightly crispy, the donuts burst with a perfect fruity citrus-forward flavor that tastes EXACTLY like the love child of Little Debbie and Toucan Sam. This revelation leaves me with some pretty haunting visuals, but it’s the absolute realest description possible.

The rings with a thicker, more visible layer of icing unsurprisingly pack a heftier taste bud punch, but the lighter glazed ones still get the point across, just a bit less convincingly. Like the actual cereal pieces, despite the glaringly different colors schemes, they all taste the same, like “froot.”

In the vast land of junk and fast food collabs I can safely declare Froot Loops’ appearance at Carl’s Jr. a super hot feature. It’s such a natural and well-done pairing that I can’t believe one of the bigger companies like Dunkin’ or Krispy Kreme didn’t get to it first, but as a company known for welcoming bigger brands into their home with open arms, Carl’s Jr. just earned themselves another gold star.

(Nutrition Facts – 5 donuts – 320 calories, 15 grams of fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 20 milligrams of cholesterol, 360 milligrams of sodium, 44 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 24 grams of sugar, and 3 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: 5 donuts
Rating: 9 out of 10
Pros: Perfect Froot Loops flavor packed into a soft mini donut. Great box art. Awesome vivid colors
Cons: Slight inconsistency in the glaze/coating that leaves some donuts a little less spectacular than others. $2.99 is a bit high for 5 donuts, but I saw in other markets it’s $1.99, which seems perfect

Carl's Jr. Cereal Fast Food

QUICK REVIEW: Taco Bell Caramel Apple Freeze

Meghan / August 29, 2018 / Reviews / 1 Comment

What is it?

According to Taco Bell’s website, it’s a less messy and just-as-delicious drinkable alternative to the overpriced caramel apples sold at county fairs nationwide. In reality, though, it’s just a cup of green apple-flavored slush with a couple of pumps of caramel syrup thrown in.

How is it?

Do you like Green Apple Jolly Ranchers? If so, this the freeze for you. Everything about this drink reminded me of them, and I felt the apple flavor’s slight tartness helped to keep the degree of sweetness from reaching tooth-aching levels. Better yet, I found the fruity flavor and ice to be refreshing on the hot and humid day I bought it.

In stark contrast to the fruity forwardness, the caramel syrup wasn’t nearly as potent here. Maybe it was the way my particular drink was made, but I only had a small puddle of barely-detectable caramel sauce at the bottom of my cup, and I found that stirring it around caused it to get lost in a sea of bright green slush.

Is there anything else I need to know?

If you do decide to order one on a hot day like I did, be prepared to guzzle it down fast, because mine started to melt before I had even walked halfway back to my car. By the time I got to work, I basically had a cup of neon green apple juice, which prompted one of my coworkers to quip smartly, “That’s not a green juice,” to which I ended up replying, “It is, but it’s not the sort that you’re used to.”

Conclusion:

Even though I would have appreciated a couple more pumps of caramel sauce, I still ended up liking this drink overall, and, considering it’s only a dollar during Happy Hour, I think it’s worth a try if you like green apple candy.

Purchased Price: $1.00 (purchased during Happy Hour, $2.39 regular price)
Size: 16 oz.
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (16 oz.) 190 calories, 50 calories from fat, 0.5 grams of total fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 80 milligrams of sodium, 47 grams of total carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 42 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.

Fast Food Taco Bell

REVIEW: Taco Bell Double Cheesy Gordita Crunch

Louis / August 28, 2018 / Reviews / 4 Comments

After months of waiting — those Nacho Fries can only take me so far, guys — our buenos amigos at Taco Bell are finally back with a new menu item that weighs blissfully heavy, both on the stomach and soul.

It’s called the Double Cheesy Gordita Crunch — not to be confused with the Cheesy Gordita Crunch or the Doritos Cheesy Gordita Crunch, natch — and it is, basically, a whole tasty crunchy taco with spicy ranch sauce, gently placed inside a hot Gordita, layered lovingly with their quintessential three-cheese blend and, get this, a whole ‘nother layer of that spicy ground beef.

I mean, c’mon: it’s always great to have a Taco Bell taco and a Taco Bell gordita separately on most trivial days, but to have both, combined, completely slathered with a whole heck of meat and cheese, it’s starting to look like we’ve entered a whole new realm of Border-based deliciousness in the fast food Tex-Mex market. I’m kinda surprised the Bell hasn’t come up with this winning concept sooner.

A glorious mix of startlingly crunchy and indefatigably soft, the Double Cheesy Gordita Crunch is a beautiful mix of the best of what the Bell has to offer, all in one treat. The cheesy portion is hot and gooey, the meat area is the right amount of spicy heat and the breads — both taco shell and Gordita tarp — are fresh and delicious, the perfect placeholders. The addition of a spritz of some unexpected spicy ranch only doubles down with the nice bonus of a slight kick, playing very well with the other flavors.

The Double Cheesy Gordita Crunch, besides being quite tasty is, additionally, packed with so much of that good stuff, that it actually creates one of TB’s thickest items in quite a while. Come hungry when you try one; once you get to the halfway point, you’ll start to question whether you can go any further but, like a true culinary warrior, you must go on, you must continue, you must finish that Double Cheesy Gordita Crunch, son.

You see, and this would be my one issue, the afternoon I ordered this item, I got the five dollar box, thinking it was no big deal, that I would finish it in mere minutes as I had done in the past, numerous times with numerous Taco Bell items. Boy, was I wrong.

So, I guess what I’m saying is skip the five dollar box, because unless you’re a competitive eater in training, it’s just way too much food for one person. Go for the single Double Cheesy Gordita Crunch and wallow in comparative élan. There’s always more tomorrow. Much more. Cómpralo ya!

(Nutrition Facts – 570 calories, 32 grams of fat, 12 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 70 milligrams of cholesterol, 1110 milligrams of sodium, 44 grams of carbohydrates, 7 grams of fiber, 5 grams of sugar, and 25 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $3.49
Size: N/A
Rating: 9 out of 10
Pros: Combines the two best products on menu. Huge portions.
Cons: Have to eat fresh—do not refrigerate and microwave.

Fast Food Taco Bell

REVIEW: Burger King Jalapeno King and Spicy Crispy Jalapeno Chicken Sandwich

James / August 27, 2018 / Reviews / 3 Comments

As a huge fan of both authentic and inauthentic Tex-Mex cuisine, I’ve always had a penchant for jalapeno peppers. While a few chains add them as ingredients to their limited time only burgers, they nonetheless remain one of the less heralded toppings in the fast food cosmos. Needless to say, if I had it my way, jalapeno rings would be as ubiquitous as burger toppings as onion rings.

Thankfully, Burger King has come along with two newfangled, LTO sandwiches that seek to bring a little sweet heat to palates across America. First up in our dainty double feature of foodstuffs, it’s BK’s latest addition to the Big King family, the Jalapeno King.

As soon as you unwrap this monstrous burger, the powerful aroma of jalapeno hits your olfactory glands like a punching bag. The mammoth double-decker sandwich comes with half a pound of grilled beef, several strips of crispy bacon, a coating of pepper jack cheese, a green chile aioli (more on that in a bit) and, of course, a smattering of jalapeno rings.

If you’ve got a penchant for super filling, ultra-beefy burgers this one ought to satisfy you and then some. You get a TON of meat in this thing, and that aforementioned aioli is delicious (it’s basically a chipotle mayo dressing, with a subtle hint of lime thrown into the mix … I think.)

On the downside, though, the sandwich might be a bit too big for its own good. As much meat as they packed in this sucker, at least a quarter of the sandwich is just sesame seed bun on sesame seed bun action, and all that white (wheat?) space means some of the subtler flavors (like the bacon and the pepper jack cheese) get lost in the gustatory shuffle.

The considerably lighter Jalapeno Spicy Crispy Chicken Sandwich may not have the bulk of its beefy sibling, but overall I’d consider it the better one.

For starters, BK appears to have amped up their breading spices for this one, and for once, a fast food burger marketed as “spicy” actually TASTES respectably spicy. There’s a unique BBQ/Creole spice flavor I detected on the chicken rubbings, which makes it feel unlike anything you’ve probably tried at one of the major fast food chains before.

It has pretty much all of the same toppings and fill-ins as the Jalapeno King (save for the toasted potato bun), but the more condensed package allows the ingredients to meld quite a bit better than it does on the JK. You can feel the cheese and bacon gel together here, and the combination of pepper rings and BBQ spices might get your eyes to water a trickle or two. Of course, its smaller size also means it’s going to be a sloppier meal, so as always, we here at The Impulsive Buy encourage you to snack smart and ALWAYS opt for an extra napkin or two.

With both sandwiches costing north of $5 as standalone offerings, they’re probably not the best option for economically-minded diners. Still, you have to give BK props from at least trying to provide fast food consumers something outside the norm — as well as crafting two spicy LTOs that might get your nose running.

(Nutrition Facts – Jalapeno King – 990 calories, 65 grams of fat, 24 grams of saturated fat, 3 grams of trans fat, 205 milligrams of cholesterol, 1550 milligrams of sodium, 46 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 7 grams of sugar, and 55 grams of protein. Spicy Crispy Jalapeno Sandwich – 760 calories, 45 grams of fat, 11 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 95 milligrams of cholesterol, 1720 milligrams of sodium, 58 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 8 grams of sugar, and 32 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $6.29 (Jalapeno King)

Purchased Price: $5.49 (Spicy Crispy Jalapeno Chicken Sandwich)
Size: N/A
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Jalapeno King)
Rating: 8 ouf to 10 (Spicy Crispy Jalapeno Chicken Sandwich)
Pros: Both sandwiches are ridiculously filling; unlike most “spicy” fast food sandwiches. They’re genuinely spicy. The green chile aioli is superb.
Cons: The pepper jack cheese doesn’t taste that intense. Getting sauce and oil all over the place while you’re eating them. Trying to mathematically figure out how the chicken sandwich has more sodium than the Jalapeno King.

Burger King Fast Food