What is it?

One of two 4th of July themed treats, the limited release Star Spangled Blizzard mixes blue candy with cherry flavored soft serve topped with a signature DQ ball and curl; red, white, and blue DQ Stars; and a Stripes StarKiss frozen treat.

How is it?

The saying beauty is only skin deep applies to ice cream too apparently. The StarKiss bar is a clever marketing gimmick that adds nothing to the taste experience while making it more difficult to actually eat the Blizzard.

Its rapidly melting form forces you to consume it immediately. Ironically not the star of the show, I’ll briefly say that beyond the cherry stripe there is only a nondescript artificial and substandard sweetness.

After extracting the not so bomb pop, the cherry syrup flavored soft serve is buried beneath the vanilla curl where I wish I had left it. While visually striking, the cherry substrate’s flavor is, in a word, bad. In more words, it is as authentic to cherry as Robitussin watered down with corn syrup.

While the plain, but classic, vanilla helps, at no point did the cherry component enhance the Blizzard. Meanwhile, the blue candy provides a fun crunch but no discernable flavor of its own. Probably a good thing if the rest of the Blizzard is any indication.

Is there anything else I need to know?

I was asked what size I wanted despite the website and menu listing mini as the only option. It could have been asked out of habit, but I also paid $3.99 whereas the menu listed $4.29. Still a premium, but clearly there was a discrepancy.

Conclusion:

It’s a bad sign when I find myself wishing upon a StarKiss bar that this Blizzard was only plain vanilla and blue candy. As I learned with fireworks as a kid, some things are better seen than eaten.

Purchased Price: $3.99
Size: Mini
Rating: 3 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: Unavailable on DQ’s website as of July 4, 2018.

What is it?

July’s Blizzard of the Month, the Oreo Firework Blizzard does not include actual Firework Oreo cookies. Rather, it combines the standard Dairy Queen Oreo cookie pieces with red and blue popping candy in vanilla soft serve.

How is it?

The classic Oreo Cookie Blizzard flavor serves as the night sky to the carbon dioxide based confectionary “fireworks.” The popping candy is abundant without seeming to come at the cost of the cookie mix-ins. Meanwhile, Uncle Sam-themed light red and blue “candy white coating” prevents premature detonation of the pressurized cores. Initially a bit odd to bite into, the almost squishy sheath is starkly contrasted against the crisp crunch of cookie bits and rock centers alike. Once the fuse is lit by puncturing the shell, the candies pop with aplomb.

Unfortunately, I prefer fireworks lighting the night sky to launching from my spoonful of ice cream. What begins as an interesting novelty grows tiresome by the bottom of the cup. To its credit though, the popping candy is more than just a marketing gimmick to elicit “oohs and aahs” from the crowd. The protective candy coating itself is infused with a delicious creme flavor. This is sure to please all of the crème loving Oreo “Twisters” out there, you know who you are.

Is there anything else I need to know?

I almost died bringing you this review. Well, the slick popping candy coating led to mild choking anyway. If you properly chew your treat rather than inhale it like Kirby coming off a 6-month juice cleanse, you should be fine.

Conclusion:

While the creme-flavored candy coating is delicious, I’d rather leave the accompanying explosions to the firework displays than my ice cream. For Oreo and Pop Rock lovers who don’t chase sparkler wielding kids off of their lawn like me, this may be a perfect 10.

Purchased Price: $3.39
Size: Small
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (Small)  660 calories, 25 grams of fat, 15 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 50 milligrams of cholesterol, 320 milligrams of sodium, 98 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 78 grams of sugar, and 13 grams of protein.