It looks like Hershey’s has been on a roll lately. First, it comes out with all those Cookie Layered Crunch Bars. Then, it created those bars of salty-and-sweet perfection appropriately dubbed as “Hershey’s Gold.” And now it’s decided to jump onto the donut-inspired-everything bandwagon with the creation of its new Hershey’s Bites.

Not to be confused with Hershey’s Snack Bites, these are, according to the package, “soft donut bites with a sweet & creamy chocolatey filling.” They seem as if a lava cake and a donut hole met up, had a few drinks together, and ending up with these little guys as a permanent reminder of their drunken love for one another.

Opening the box, I’m happy to see Hershey’s put a flap on it so that you can close it. It always irks me when food companies make multi-serving frozen snacks and then fail to give you any kind of way to re-seal the package. That said, Hershey’s only gets half credit, since it didn’t give you any kind of way to reseal the box’s inner bag, thus dooming the uneaten portion to freezer burn.

Out of the box, the bites don’t look exactly how I expected them to. The sparkly picture gave me the impression that these were going to be rolled in some kind of granulated sugar, kind of like those donuts you find at Chinese buffets. In reality, there’s no such coating, and they look like unappetizing brown lumps.

The box said I could prepare these by either baking them at 350 for eight minutes or by microwaving them for 20-30 seconds. I decided to try both methods so I could give a comprehensive analysis.

The ones baked in the toaster oven had a crunchy outer shell, but the “creamy chocolate filling” wasn’t so much of a filling as it was more like a half-baked center.

As expected, the microwaved ones were softer, but neither one had the texture of a real donut hole. The baked ones were more cookie-like and have chocolate flavor is, ironically, closer to an Oreo cookie than Hershey’s Chocolate. The microwaved ones reminded me of a microwaved snack cake.

Between the two, I liked the baked ones better since they had a little more texture, but both needed more filling. I was expecting something like rich chocolate ganache, but this tasted like undercooked batter.

My primary complaint, though, is that both seem so incomplete without a glaze. Don’t all donuts have it or some kind of sugar coating? I made some to coat mine and it made them taste much more like actual donuts. Hershey’s should have taken notes from Pillsbury on this one and included a glaze packet, like Toaster Strudels.

Valiant effort, Hershey’s, but your newest experiment is a miss.

(Nutrition Facts – 4 bites – 180 calories, 6 grams of fat, 50 calories from fat, 3.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, less than 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 310 milligrams of sodium, 29 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 15 grams of sugar, and 3 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $3.29
Size: 18 bites (8.8 oz. box)
Purchased at: Kroger
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Baked)
Rating: 5 out of 10 (Microwaved)
Pros: Lava cake/donut hole love-child! Re-sealable box! Tastes like Oreo cookies!
Cons: Deceptive picture on the box. Inner bag isn’t re-sealable. More poop-looking snacks. Doesn’t taste like Hershey’s chocolate. No glaze included.

There are certain flavor combinations that are self-explanatory.

Whether it’s in Pop-Tart or donut form, s’mores is going to have elements of graham, chocolate, and marshmallow. While something birthday cake-flavored is going to taste like frosting, vanilla cake, and seven-year-old stale sprinkles.

Triple Chocolate is a bit more ambiguous. I feel like there was a time in my life when triple chocolate meant you were getting blasts of dark, milk, and white chocolate in one bite. Those days are long gone, shattered by internet killjoys armed with an air of self-importance and a Wikipedia link explaining that white chocolate IS NOT chocolate.

Subsequent moralizing about faux white chocolate’s adverse dietary effects, not to mention the gentrification of all things cocoa-related, caused candy companies to shop the free agency market to assemble a dream team of chocolate role players.

Bittersweet, German, ganache, fudge, semisweet, Mexican, nibs, chocolate marshmallow, and “chocolaty” have all had their five minutes of fame in the trifecta, but for Hershey’s latest take on its Cookie Layer Crunch Bars, chocolate cookie pieces and chocolate crème join the milk chocolate rectangles.

Let’s get this out of the way: The graphic designer doing the box artwork should get a raise because the detail on the box is hardly what you see when you bite into each three-square bar.

For example, the box artwork makes the chocolate crème look like the cocoa equivalent of molten lava, but if there’s any ganache-like viscosity to the crème, Hershey’s must have left it in the factory. To be honest, it’s hard to pick out the crème as a distinct textural element at all.

Thankfully, there is some truth in advertising.

The crème, although chameleon-like in appearance, has a rich dark chocolate flavor that dissolves on your tongue and finishes each bite. It works especially well because it’s a nice contrast to the crunchy Dutch chocolate taste of the cookie pieces, which remind me of Chips Ahoy! Double Chocolate Cookie Thins.

As much as I like the cookie pieces and the crème, I couldn’t help but think the bar gets dragged down by the run-of-the-mill chocolate shell. There’s nothing wrong with the taste and texture of Hershey’s milk chocolate per se, but its familiarity and rather pedestrian chocolate taste frame the entire bar in an air of, well, averageness.

Average chocolate shell aside, Hershey’s Triple Cookie Layer Crunch Bars are a cool upgrade from the original bar. It also makes a strong case that triple chocolate (the flavor, that is) should keep cookie pieces and crème around for another season.

(Nutrition Facts – 2 pieces – 210 calories, 13 grams of fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, less than 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 85 milligrams of sodium, 23 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 18 grams of sugar, and 3 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $3.49
Size: 6.3 oz. package/9 pieces
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Awesome crunchy cookie taste in candy bar form. Chocolate crème gives the filling a rich dark chocolate complexity. Premium aesthetic in the packaging.
Cons: Chocolate crème is underrepresented and doesn’t have the gooey texture it does in the promo pic. Hershey’s milk chocolate feels pedestrian alongside other chocolate elements. The inability of candy and snack companies to assemble a triple chocolate dynasty.

HERSHEY’S GOLD – IT’S THE FIRST NEW HERSHEY BAR FLAVOR IN 20 YEARS!!! At least that’s what the press release and news articles screamed.

But didn’t I review a new Hershey’s Cherry Cheesecake bar flavor. a few months ago? And wasn’t I snarfing down Candy Corn and Candy Cane flavors recently? Yes, but Hershey’s says it’s the first non-chocolate flavor release since Cookies ‘n’ Creme in 1995. Like the C&C bar, Hershey’s Gold is a creme-based bar.

How is that different than a flavored white chocolate bar? I fell into a rabbit hole of internet research on what’s considered real “chocolate” and comparing ingredients from various Hershey’s bar flavors.

Three hours later, I realized there was a candy bar next to me, being NOT eaten. Focus! Let’s just say it’s a new Hershey’s bar flavor and consume it already.

This bar is a deep golden hue, as promised. The peanut and pretzel bits mixed in were tiny shards. I expected larger peanut chunks and hoped for crunchy pretzel balls in the style of the Cookies ‘n’ Creme cookie balls.

A fun surprise was the new pip layout (yes, that’s what those squares are called, apparently). Instead of the standard uniform rectangles, these are offset with some larger ones. The design initially looked asymmetrical, but came together to satisfy my sense of geometric justice.

On first smell, this thing is ALL peanut butter. On first taste, same thing. Overwhelmingly peanut butter. I can’t discern any pretzel taste beyond a slight burst of salt. Same with the caramelized creme – a little toasty sweetness. These are flavors I associate already with peanut butter and PB-flavored foods, however, so to me they’re hard to separate out. What they do is blend seamlessly to make a really nice peanut butter bar. It’s creamy and salty and sweet, but not too much of any of those things.

The texture was slightly crunchy, but a far cry from what I’d expect from peanuts and pretzels. As a big pretzel fan, I was disappointed in their shallow presence here. Had this been billed just a peanut butter bar, I’d say this was a great entry.

But the larger issue was — was it s’moreable? I grabbed some holiday Peeps and graham crackers and headed to the microwave. (Yeah, I’m one of those.)

18 seconds later – Holy peanuts, Batman. These are great. I think this bar is far more interesting as s’mores than as a candy bar.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 bar – 220 calories, 14 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 85 milligrams of sodium, 22 grams of carbohydrates, 20 grams of total sugars, 17 grams of added sugars, and 3 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $1.39
Size: 1.4 oz. bar
Purchased at: Duane Reade
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Good peanut butter flavor. New artsy pip design. Incredibly S’morable.
Cons: Are you there pretzels? It’s me, Rachel. Still haven’t figured out the whole “first non-chocolate bar in 20 years” thing.