Watch on iTunes
Subscribe to RSS FeedArchive | March, 2006
Jockey Next to Nothing Thong/Wearing a Thong
Thongs…They’re usually worn by women, European male sunbathers, and male strippers. I think they look totally hot on women, but as for European male sunbathers and male strippers, not so much. You may think I’m a little biased about that because I’m straight, but I have female friends who also think men in thongs aren’t [...]
Continue reading...Rockstar Juiced
26 March 2006
“Being juiced” is usually only reserved for some Olympic athletes and baseball players, but thanks to Rockstar Juiced, now everyone can be juiced too. Although, by drinking Rockstar Juiced we can’t have the increased athletic performance, premature baldness, severe acne, enlargement of the heart, increased body hair, liver damage, elevated blood pressure, abnormal breast development (in [...]
Continue reading...Apple Strudel Pop-Tarts
25 March 2006
I don’t know if Kevin Federline likes Pop-Tarts, but I do know that he has a rap album coming out. If K-Fed does like Pop-Tarts and if he wrote lyrics about Pop-Tarts for his album, I think they would go something like this: My name is K-Fed, I’m richer than you. Although it’s Britney’s money, I [...]
Continue reading...Quiznos Prime Rib Sub
22 March 2006
Mmmm…Prime rib. It’s one of the staples of the all-you-can-eat dinner buffet, along with soft serve ice cream, a salad bar with your choice of ranch, thousand island, and Italian dressing, soggy corn on the cob, belts that need to be opened up a notch, and smelly, smelly restrooms. The prime rib stop always holds [...]
Continue reading...Sparks
20 March 2006
“Don’t worry, Jen. I’ll make you forget Brad and Vince with my tender lips. Get out of the way Ron Livingston! You’re ruining the moment.” After drinking the entire 16-ounce can of the Sparks alcohol energy drink, it was like romantic sparks were flying everywhere. For some reason, probably because of my [...]
Continue reading...Double Zipper Ziploc Storage Bags
16 March 2006
You know what I hate? I hate having to sometimes stuff cocaine-filled condoms up my ass. It’s amazing that I can stick ten of them up there. Although they say the large intestine is about five feet long, so technically I could probably fit a whole lot more. Each one is worth $10,000 [...]
Continue reading...Eggo Cereal
15 March 2006
Maple syrup is great for pancakes, French toast, and embarrassing your family name for fifty dollars by participating in a coed kiddie pool maple syrup wrestling match at a nightclub for a Girls Gone Wild DVD. They are also great on waffles, especially frozen waffles. Actually they’re even better on burnt frozen waffles [...]
Continue reading...March Prize Drawing!!!
13 March 2006
Saint Patrick’s Day is coming up and it’s a great day to get drunk, get pinched, and get caught urinating in public. However, no one gives gifts for Saint Patrick’s Day. So this month two lucky readers will each receive a Saint Patrick’s Day gift from The Impulsive Buy. These two lucky readers will each win [...]
Continue reading...Tab Energy
12 March 2006
Once upon a time there was a pretty pretty pink pop princess named Tab, who preferred to be called the Pretty Pretty Pink Pop Princess. The Pretty Pretty Pink Pop Princess was a diet soda pop pioneer, appearing in 1963. Over the years, the Pretty Pretty Pink Pop Princess had gone through plenty of [...]
Continue reading...Vault
7 March 2006
Whenever something comes back from the dead and rises out of its grave, I usually expect flesh-eating zombies or a new Tupac Shakur album. However, this time around what came back from the dead was a citrus soda called Surge, which now has the witness protection agency-like name of Vault. After Surge was killed off, [...]
Continue reading...The Impulsive Buy is licensed under Creative Commons. Based on Thrilling Theme from FreelanceWP.
Proudly powered by WordPress 
29 March 2006
47 Comments