Fruity Cheerios

Cheerios are enjoyed by so many people and I think the reason why Cheerios are beloved is because there are so many varieties. Just like 24-hour news networks, reality shows, and crazy publicly drunk celebrities to hate, there’s a type of Cheerios for everyone. The varieties include, Honey Nut Cheerios, Apple Cinnamon Cheerios, [...]

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Axe Dry Clix

I didn’t realize how hard it was to find someone to smell my armpit. What’s wrong with a complete stranger, walking up in a trenchcoat, baseball cap and sunglasses to another person, and ask them if they would like to smell an armpit? It’s not like I’m asking them to lick it, there are people [...]

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Purple S’Creme Slurpee

Oh thank heaven for 7-Eleven Slurpees, which are not only cold and refreshing, they can also turn your tongue into colors that are usually only made possible through sexually transmitted diseases. For example, the Coke and Pepsi Slurpees can turn your tongue brown or black like herpes. If you’ve ever had either a banana or [...]

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Quaker Breakfast Cookies

I’m not of big fan of the future, or its friends Miss Cleo and Dionne Warwick. They’ve disappointed me so many times, like at 12:01 a.m. on January 1, 2000 when everyone thought the world was going to end because of Y2K. Just to let you know, I’m still eating the canned food I stocked [...]

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Mazola Pure Butter Cooking Spray

Over the years, I have learned an important lesson: When alcohol and silicone are taken away from something, they instantly lose their fun factor. For example, a party at the Playboy Mansion wouldn’t be any fun without alcohol and silicone. Strip clubs would be less enjoyable minus alcohol and silicone. Finally, [...]

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Kleenex Expressions Oval Collection

Despite my extremely macho exterior, I’m not afraid to admit that sometimes I feel like crying. I’m not talking about a tear drop falling down my cheek, like I’m a Native American in a littering commercial or I’m listening to emo rock. I’m also not talking about my eyes getting watery like I [...]

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Happy Second Anniversary!!! (Or Happy Blogiversary!!!)

(Editor’s Note: I thought with it being The Impulsive Buy’s second anniversary today, I would take the time to let you know more about The Impulsive Buy via an interview with someone who knows me quite well. As a matter of fact, I’ve slept with this person so many times that this person [...]

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Tastykake Butterscotch Krimpets

Oh, hello there. Benjamin Franklin here, but please feel free to call me “Benji.” Being a founding father of America and having my signature on both the United States Constitution and The Declaration of Independence, I get some perks here in heaven. For example, because I loved doing experiments with lightning when I was [...]

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McDonald’s Ranch Snack Wrap

Are your young, hyperactive, and easily-influenced children singing shouting the lyrics to Wiggles songs over and over again like they were drunk at a kiddie karaoke bar? Is the fellow movie patron sitting behind you with their feet constantly kicking the back of your chair yelling things at the screen, like “Don’t open that door!” or [...]

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