Hamburger Helper Cheesy Lasagna Microwave Singles

Hi. My name is Marvo. It’s nice to meet you…um, what does your name tag say? Wow. That’s a really long name you have there, Hamburger Helper Cheesy Lasagna Microwave Singles. That’s an unusual name. N-n-no, I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with your name, I just think it’s [...]

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Godiva Milk Chocolate Mocha Belgian Blends

Oh, I feel it! I feel the power from the Godiva Milk Chocolate Mocha Belgian Blends pulsating through my hands, arms, Bowflex-built-chest, hairy runner’s legs, and ballerina twinkle toes. It’s like when Prince Adam holds the Sword of Power above his head and turns into He-Man, except instead of a weak young prince being turned into a [...]

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Back from Vacation

Sorry for the lack of posts here recently. I was in California/Tahoe this past week and did some snowboarding, sledding, freezing my ass off, gambling, wearing thermal underwear, eating an In-N-Out burger, recovering from a little groin pull, shopping at Target, and very little shaving. I bought a lot of things to review, [...]

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Jamba Juice Tahiti Green Tea

Just like closing your eyes to get beyond the extremely crooked teeth, unevenly drawn in eyebrows, and mysterious boils on the skin of the troll you’re getting it on with, closing your eyes while sucking on the new Jamba Juice Tahiti Green Tea smoothie will help you experience it beyond its color, which as you [...]

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Pong A Long 7′ Beer Pong Table

I didn’t participate in any drinking games in college because I spent most of my time using myself as a guinea pig for serious sociology research on intense subjects, like finding out what effects playing Sony Playstation six hours a day has on a college student’s grades, seeing if a student can get a passing [...]

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Rumba Energy Juice

If there is one thing you should know about me it’s that I’m all about obsessive-compulsive cleanliness, so I was totally stoked about finally getting a Rumba vacuuming robot. It’s been the number one thing on my wishlist for the past couple of years, ahead of my desire for a new Steven Seagal movie [...]

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Online Dating Product Review Poll!!! Yes, You Read Right!!!

My mom always tells me that I should hang out at bookstores to meet a nice, smart girl, but I haven’t had any luck, probably because I hang out in the Sex & Relationships section a little too long. Now some of you are probably saying, “Why not meet someone at a bar or club?” I’m a [...]

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McDonald’s Honey Mustard Snack Wrap

I wonder what’s a worse fate for a chicken: To be a grilled or crispy piece of chicken in the new McDonald’s Honey Mustard Snack Wrap. Sure, there are even worse fates for chickens, like bird flu, being used in some screwed up way in a Jackass stunt, Chicken McNuggets, dancing naked in the Peter [...]

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