Colgate Max Fresh Kiss Me Mint

I need a Monica Lewinsky. I’m not talking about the alcoholic beverage called Monica Lewinsky, which includes blue curacao liquor (representing her infamous blue dress), coconut rum (representing the infamous stain on her blue dress), vodka, stirred with a cigar, and garnished with a mini black thong. Nor am I talking about the ham-filled Monica [...]

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Diet Pepsi Jazz Caramel Cream

I once had a crush in the eighth grade on a girl named Claudia. She was Hispanic, cute, smart, goofy, and dimples appeared on her cheeks when she smiled. She wasn’t the prettiest girl at my school, but I was glad that she wasn’t, because the popular pretty girls were total whores, not only because [...]

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Oral Fixation Mints Variety 6-Pack

I know what you’re thinking. With the word “oral” in the name of today’s review subject, the Oral Fixation Mints Variety 6-Pack, you’re probably wondering how many oral sex references will be in this review. I thought about taking the blowjob approach, but realized going down on that long hard road would be an obvious [...]

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Kellogg’s Special K Chocolatey Delight

Chocolate makes everything better. As a matter of fact, if I was chocolate coated…again, I would be ten times more attractive than I am now, which actually isn’t saying much, because I would be as attractive as Casey Affleck’s older and more popular brother, Ben Affleck…with a goatee. Of course, the women who found me [...]

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Go Girl Energy Drink

Wassup, bitch! I heard from my sister’s hairstylist’s mother’s babysitter’s gynecologist’s grandma that you were talking shit about me, little Ms. Tab Energy. Oh, don’t be actin’ like you don’t know, cuz I know you know. She said that you said I look like RuPaul. Well let me tell you that RuPaul is way better looking than [...]

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Foods From Mexico Product Review Poll!!!

There are TIB readers all around the world. Australia, Japan, the United Kingdom, France, Italy, the Philippines, New Zealand, India, the Netherlands, South Africa, Israel, and Canada are most of the places international TIB readers are from. But this product review poll is dedicated to the TIB reader(s) in Mexico. Anyway, two friends of [...]

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Altoids Dark Chocolate Dipped Mints

Oh, Peppermint Altoids! Your curiously strong powers have thwarted my plans for world domination time and time again. How can I continue to scare away pretty women, make babies cry and make salespeople regret approaching me with you constantly freshening my breath with your curiously strong minty powers? I have attempted to increase my super stench [...]

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Bath & Body Works Aromatherapy Eucalyptus Spearmint Body Wash

This review is dedicated to all the MILFs out there. Because without them, the population wouldn’t grow and the Fountains of Wayne song, “Stacy’s Mom” wouldn’t exist. Let’s face it, MILFs. Raising children can be hard. Sure, conceiving children is fun, but raising them and pushing them out through your vagina…not so much. [...]

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