Author: Erin

REVIEW: Doritos Late Night Loaded Taco

Erin 12 Comments

Doritos Late Night line is back, inviting us to taste the night with a Loaded Taco flavor in a slick black and purple bag exclusive to Kroger stores. Past offerings in this series include much missed All Nighter Cheeseburger and Tacos at Midnight, which this new edition appears to be a spiritual successor to.

I’m pretty sure I tried Tacos At Midnight, but since a decade has gone by since those bags graced anyone’s beer can-strewn countertops at 2 a.m., I can’t say for sure this is the second coming of that flavor and will judge it on its own merits.

Looking into the Doritos Late Night Loaded Taco bag

Opening the bag, the scent is very reminiscent of what would waft at you from a Taco Bell paper bag, and the flavor is there to match. It’s decidedly “fast food taco” and not “taqueria taco,” and the emphasis is on the loaded part. They taste like the mess that falls out of a haphazardly made Taco Bell item, and as someone who ends up eating those overly sour creamed lettuce shreds, beef bits, and always worthless pieces of tomato, I mean that as a term of endearment and also kind of amazement. See, all the elements you’d expect to taste are here – the crunch like a hard corn shell, taco seasoning, cheese, sour cream, a hint of tomato, but then there’s also…lettuce? Does iceberg lettuce even taste like anything? Apparently, it does, and I’m pretty convinced that slight vegetal note is here, which seems like the kind of achievement Willy Wonka might be proud of. Sure, anyone can make a chip taste like sour cream and paprika, but can they also manage to layer in the suggestion of lettuce? Frito-Lay can.

Doritos Late Night Loaded Taco is lighter than the chip shown on the bag

The next logical step is wondering if you want a chip that I just said tastes like lettuce. I’d be skeptical too, but it turns out it isn’t a bad thing! The iceberg and tomato make subtle appearances, while the predominant flavors are much more in the dairy spectrum, with cream, sour cream, cheddar, butter, and Swiss all getting mentions in the ingredients list. Alongside a classic mix of Americanized-taco spices and sitting on a crunchy corn chip, these really do manage to mimic a fully topped crispy taco surprisingly well. Appearance-wise, the actual chips don’t look much like the very orange one pictured on the front of the bag, but their lighter yellow color reminds me more of taco shells anyway.

Doritos Late Night Loaded Taco bag says "Taste the Night"

Speaking of, would a Doritos Loaded Taco flavored Doritos Locos Taco be too meta or just right for late night? I’ll leave that one up to the fast food gods. In the meantime, enjoy these chips while they last, which, in the case of my bag, was not very long. If you have a Kroger affiliate near you, these chips are worth trying before the neon signs flip off and they disappear into the night.

Purchased Price: $5.49
Size: 9 oz bag
Purchased at: Mariano’s (Kroger)
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (About 11 chips) 140 calories, 7 grams of total fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 150 milligrams of sodium, 17 grams of total carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, less than 1 gram of total sugars, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Mystery Flavor Fruit Roll-Ups

Erin 5 Comments

General Mills is rebranding its fruit snacks to suit the modern era of lunchbox-toting kids and teens, but in the case of these Mystery Flavor Fruit Roll-Ups, it feels like it went with such a ’90s vibe that it’s targeting the parents and not the offspring. This pack leans entirely on a “weird green guys from outer space” theme that I can’t imagine resonating with today’s kids. But what do I know? The packaging is metallic, and I’ll be damned if weird alien cartoons and shiny things don’t intrigue me.

The pack includes two flavors, Mystery and Solar Melon. I was briefly disappointed that half of these were melon because it gives you fewer chances to guess the mystery flavor. If you’re not familiar with Fruit Roll-Ups, I would describe the flavor of all of them as “This is definitely a Fruit Roll-Up,” but if you can tell the difference between a berry one and whatever the Tie-Dye is, you’re a better person than me. Fruit Roll-Ups are a snack to be eaten as quickly as possible because if they’re fresh, they’re so sticky that you can barely get the plastic off before they collapse in your hand. Definitely do not put them on a plate to photograph like I did. The time from thinking you might give it a taste test to the time you’ve determined that you’d better just shove it all in your mouth before you never get it unstuck from you again is about 8 seconds.

Trying the Mystery flavor, I couldn’t get beyond that it just tasted like I expected a Fruit Roll-Up to taste. Delicious, but overall…normal. Maybe this whole alien theme was a ruse? Maybe space tastes like Fruit Roll-Ups? I didn’t have a clue. Luckily part of this rebranding is a focus on trying to interact beyond the eating of the snack, so General Mills wants you to visit its website, where you can vote on what the flavor is.

Thank Area 51, we have some parameters!

Faced with the choices of Cosmic Citrus Swirl, Stellar Strawberry Peach, Galactic Grape, and Mango Martian, things started to make sense, and I felt pretty confident choosing Strawberry Peach. The strawberry is the classic and dominant flavor, but there’s a little more there, and it will remind you of Peach Rings.

To its credit, the unmysterious Solar Melon is a perfect shade of alien-green and a welcome addition to the box. It manages to taste like a blend of fruits with a melon focus but not in an overly artificial way like many watermelon candies.

The sheets are printed with tongue tattoos in various alien, UFO, and space designs. Because eating a Fruit Roll-Up inherently involves playing with your food, I went ahead and applied a UFO-XING sign to my tongue. It worked like a charm, and by that I mean it left my tongue with an unintelligible giant blue blob on it. You can thank me later for not including that photo. It might not be the most original attempt at a mystery flavor, but eating these is a fun and tasty way to spend two minutes, and who knows, you might win a galactic fanny pack before you’re beamed back up to the mothership.

Purchased Price: $2.29
Size: 10-count box of 0.5 oz rolls
Purchased at: Mariano’s
Rating: 8 out of 10 (Mystery Flavor), 7 out of 10 (Solar Melon)
Nutrition Facts: (1 roll) 50 calories, 1 gram of total fat, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 50 milligrams of sodium, 12 grams of total carbohydrates, 7 grams of sugar (including 7 grams of added sugar), and 0 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Wendy’s Ghost Pepper Ranch Chicken Sandwich

Erin 5 Comments

Before every fast food chain and its brother started making chicken sandwiches that were actually good, Wendy’s had it figured out. It had the logistics of a solid chicken breast fillet and a spicy version essentially perfected, at least by drive-thru standards.

A few years ago, it introduced a Ghost Pepper Ranch dipping sauce, but this is the first time that sauce has graced a chicken sandwich (unless you were savvy enough to do it yourself), and it’s now being joined by several other layers of heat and flavor. The much-loved spicy chicken breast is topped with ghost pepper-infused American cheese, ghost pepper and ranch-seasoned crispy onions, lettuce, tomato, and ghost pepper ranch sauce.

My first impression of this sandwich, both times I tried it, was that it looked exceptionally well put together. The buns were glossy and not squashed, the cheese nicely melted, the mostly unnecessary vegetable toppings fresh looking, the fried onions abundant and still crispy, the chicken breast devoid of any weirdness, and everything properly sauced with a little extra spilling out onto the wrapper for good measure. Ghosts can be tricky things though, so let’s not get caught up in appearances. Sure, it looks good and innocent enough, but how does it taste?

I’m happy to report it tastes as good as it looks! It probably isn’t as spicy as the moniker sets you up for, but I’m not sure that’s a bad thing. This isn’t a demon sandwich; it’s more of a gentle haunting, and did we really expect anything more from Wendy’s? The heat never smacks you in the face, nor does it linger long. It’s pleasantly spicy and might make you want to sip your drink, but if you happened to eat it in the absence of any beverages, it wouldn’t leave you with your mouth on fire.

Since my sandwiches were evenly sauced, it wasn’t easy to try the ghost pepper cheese on its own, but from the small unsauced portion I got, I did think the cheese was flavorful and not your standard American. There’s a generous portion of onions that also aren’t particularly spicy, but they are crunchy, zesty, and a welcome addition. I have nothing against ranch, but it isn’t something that typically calls to me. It’s not my preferred dipping sauce or even salad dressing, but I really enjoyed this version. It has a nice buttermilk taste, and the ghost pepper plus extra herbs take it in a more interesting direction.

For as many times as “ghost pepper” is mentioned in the description, I could see people being disappointed in this if they wanted serious spice. If you temper your expectations and if you’re a fan of Wendy’s spicy chicken, consider this a very solid, kicked up version that won’t give you nightmares.

Purchased Price: $6.89
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 690 calories, 35 grams of total fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 0.27 grams of trans fat, 90 milligrams of cholesterol, 1650 milligrams of sodium, 61 grams of total carbohydrates, 3 gram of dietary fiber, 7 grams of total sugars, and 32 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Minecraft Suspicious Stew Pringles

Erin 1 Comment

Mr. P has donned his gaming headset and teamed up with Minecraft for a limited edition flavor based on something you can cook up in the game, Suspicious Stew. Due to having a ten-year-old nephew, I’ve spent more hours playing Minecraft than I care to admit. For those not in the know, or those like me who probably should be in the know by now but can’t be asked to care, suspicious stew is something you concoct from mushrooms and flowers. In addition to restoring your hunger points, it also gives a temporary status effect. This could be something positive like night vision or something negative like…poison. Let’s find out if these Pringles make me jump higher or cause temporary blindness.

My initial impression was that these looked and smelled fairly innocuous. Most of the crisps had only a slight smattering of seasoning on one edge, and the scent was familiar, although I couldn’t place it. After tasting the first few, I wondered how much effort was put into constructing a flavor here. I decided to take a different approach and act like a kid no one wants to sit by in the cafeteria; I consciously left a chip on my tongue to gather max flavor on my taste buds and then went ahead and straight up licked the seasoning off another to get a better idea what I was dealing with.

I was genuinely surprised by the difference, there IS flavor here, and it’s very interesting! It’s zesty, almost spicy even, but not the kind that packs any real heat. I abandoned my gross tactics and ate a few more normally. Maybe the first chips in my tube were just under seasoned because as I kept eating them, I no longer had any difficulty picking up on the flavor – they definitely tasted like broth. They’re salty and deeply savory. The more I ate, the more they reminded me of bouillon or a packet of instant ramen seasoning, which I mean as a compliment.

They also have the curious effect of leaving my lips feeling slightly tingly. There’s no way they put Szechuan peppercorns or something in here, is there? It’s not exactly a numbing sensation, but there’s a certain je ne sais quoi, and I’m into it. I don’t know why it surprises me that a snack labeled “stew” actually tastes like stew. The “suspicious” part threw me off, and I expected them to be more of a muddy mystery flavor. Kudos to Pringles for having some fun while also really nailing the profile of a stew.

I’ll gladly reach for a can of these and be happy Kellogg’s decided to make them taste good and not like spider eyes the next time aunt duty calls and I’m busy asking naive questions like, “How did all these skeletons get in my house?” and “If I’m starving, is it bad to eat this rotten flesh?”

Purchased Price: $3.48
Size: 5.5 oz can
Purchased at: Jewel-Osco
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (14 crisps) 150 calories, 9 grams of total fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 200 milligrams of sodium, 17 grams of total carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of dietary fiber, less than 1 gram of total sugar, and 1 gram of protein.

REVIEW: Apple Jacks Pop-Tarts

Erin 1 Comment

We’ve seen Kellogg’s mash-up its breakfast brands before with Eggo and Froot Loops flavored Pop-Tarts, so it’s only natural it would try an Apple Jacks version. Apple Jacks is a curious choice to use as a flavor for something else though because what really is its flavor besides “Apple Jacks”? They famously don’t taste much like apples, and there isn’t a lot of cinnamon, either.

If you were to blindly taste Apple Jacks, you’d probably say they seem like a sugary cereal, and if you were to rip open the foil on any Pop-Tart, they’re first and foremost going to give off a general Pop-Tart aroma and flavor. This is really what they have in common: they both taste like breakfasts of your youth that are pretty unremarkable, but damn if you don’t love them anyway. Kellogg’s knows this, which is why Apple Jacks has the slogan, “We eat what we like!” So, do we like these Pop-Tarts?

I like Apple Jacks, and I like Pop-Tarts, so it should be a winning formula. All they need to do is taste like a breakfast I would have eaten in 3rd grade. After opening a pouch, my initial expectations were met. These have the classic bland pastry base that may or may not be discarded (depending on how hungry you are) in favor of the more coveted middle section with frosting and sugar goo. The frosting is less generously applied than the box indicates, and there are sugar sprinkles in colors corresponding to Apple Jacks. They have that classic Pop-Tart smell and are visually kind of cute, although maybe I only think that because the last Pop-Tarts I reviewed looked like they’d been dropped in dirt.

Breaking one open, I was struck by how orange the filling was. If Kellogg’s ever wants to make a carrot-flavored variety, it should keep this dye combo in mind. The untoasted tarts taste pretty much like you’d think, sweetly nondescript. I don’t pick up on any apple, which should make all those kids from the 90’s era Apple Jacks commercials proud. If I’m trying to hone in on a flavor, the main one I get is cinnamon, and this is where things go awry for me.

It’s not a gentle cinnamon; it’s a hot cinnamon candy taste. If you’ve had Red Hots or Atomic Fireballs, this is akin to that but not nearly as strong. I usually think toasting Pop-Tarts improves them by taking away some of the flouriness and boosting the flavors, but this isn’t a flavor I want amplified. When heated, the hot cinnamon is definitely more pronounced. This is a negative for me because I dislike the flavor, and it doesn’t remind me of the cereal. It isn’t so overpowering that I think it would bother everyone, but it’s enough of a turnoff that I wouldn’t consider buying them again. Perhaps it only makes sense that if Apple Jacks doesn’t taste like apples, Apple Jacks Pop-Tarts shouldn’t taste like Apple Jacks.

Purchased Price: $4.29
Size: 8 count box
Purchased at: Mariano’s
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2 pastries) 370 calories, 9 grams of total fat, 3 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 210 milligrams of sodium, 70 grams of total carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 28 grams of total sugars, and 4 grams of protein.