REVIEW: Smucker’s Up & Apple Uncrustables

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Smucker’s Up & Apple Uncrustables box

Some young hooligan called me “Unc” the other day, and it’s been sticking in my craw ever since.

While his tone suggested it was derogatory, I’m gonna choose to take it another way – Gen Alpha must know about my affinity for Unc-rustables, something I know we have in common. Yeah, I’m still cool.

Speaking of cool, allow me to introduce the most revolutionary handheld Apple product since the O.G. iPod – Up & Apple Uncrustables. Smuckers has blessed us with a new flavor of its amazing frozen PB&J, and it’s arguably its best effort to date.

Actually, I’m not here to argue, I’m here to review. Up & Apple is unequivocally the best Uncrustables “sandwich” ever.

Smucker’s Up & Apple Uncrustables individually wrapped

Have you ever had a peanut butter and apple cinnamon jelly sandwich? If not, I’m telling you now to start eating peanut butter and apple cinnamon jelly sandwiches. I’d never had a peanut butter and apple cinnamon jelly sandwich until now, and I’m not going back. The only thing that’s ever gonna stick in my craw again is, let’s all say it together, peanut butter and apple cinnamon jelly sandwiches!

That said, I only want them in slightly thawed crimped UFO form. The best form.

I’m sure you’re all familiar with the often imitated, never duplicated freezer PB&J at this point. Trader Joe’s made a valiant effort, and there are some decent knockoffs out there, but no one has come close to Uncrustables. Don’t even get me started on the Lunchables “attempt.” Those should be called “Untrustables.”

I didn’t think Smucker’s could improve on its formula, but Up & Apple is the new king.

The apple jelly looks like honey with little specks of cinnamon, and it tastes amazing.

I was always a fan of cinnamon applesauce as a kid, and this really brought me back. The flavor reminded me of Mott’s with the jelly obviously being smoother and stickier than gritty apple sauce. I’d say it’s also less clumpy than the Uncrustables berry-centered counterparts.

Smucker’s Up & Apple Uncrustables unbeatably soft bread medal

Smucker’s Up & Apple Uncrustables unbeatably soft bread

I imagine some people might find these a little cloying, as the jelly is dangerously close to being too sweet and artificial. However, the cinnamon cuts it and melds with the peanut butter and “unbeatably soft bread” to perfection.

Smucker’s Up & Apple Uncrustables filling

I’m an “al dente” Uncrustables enjoyer. I let it sit for about ten minutes to keep the peanut butter a little on the firmer side, and, man, is it good with this jelly. It also made me realize I’d probably enjoy Uncrustables with crunchy peanut butter, so consider this my pitch for “Uncrustables Crunchables,” if that name isn’t trademarked.

Speaking of names, “Up & Apple” stinks to its core, but I’m just reaching for a nitpick because this review is too positive.

Uncrustables were one of my favorite snacks before this, and they’ve only moved up the list.

Smucker’s Up & Apple Uncrustables jelly

I can’t imagine them topping this, but I’m holding out hope for a marmalade flavor. I know I, and that little pantless freak Paddington, would truly appreciate it. Paddington is Unc.

… I’m not cool.

I really don’t like giving out perfect scores. I don’t believe in perfection. It’s too finite for me.

Anyway, these are elite. Ten out of ten.

Purchased Price: $10.46
Size: 2.8 oz. (8 Sandwiches total)
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 10 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 320 calories, 18 grams of fat, 4 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 230 milligrams of sodium, 33 grams of total carbohydrates, 13 grams of total sugars, 4 grams of dietary fiber, 12 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Dunkin’ Cookie Butter Cloud Latte

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Dunkin’ Cookie Butter Cloud Latte with lid

After becoming a popular off-menu item last year, Dunkin’ has made the Cookie Butter Cloud Latte an official member of its 2025 holiday lineup. This is excellent news for us all because this delicious drink might be the best gift of the season, and now we don’t have to worry about ordering it wrong.

The iced latte mixes espresso with milk and cookie butter syrup and tops it with cookie butter cold foam and a sprinkling of cookie butter crumbles. In a year where cookie butter has spread all across the food landscape, it’s truly found its sweet spot with this beverage. If you’ve still never tried cookie butter but you have taken a flight in the last thirty years, you’re probably familiar with the warmly spiced flavor of speculoos cookies. Delightful year-round, they’re especially suited to winter and a perfect pairing with coffee.

Dunkin’ Cookie Butter Cloud Latte close up of cookie crumbles

True to the name, this latte is capped with a cold foam that is wonderfully airy and cloud-like. It’s soft, gently spiced, and not overly sweet. While I’m sure a glance at the nutrition facts will tell me that I’m essentially drinking liquid sugar, it really doesn’t taste that way. The spoonful of crumbles that adorn the foam initially provides some crunchy textural contrast, but soon sinks into the cloud, something I myself would not mind doing. They soften to a sandy, without being gritty mouthfeel like a cookie perfectly dunked in milk.

Dunkin’ Cookie Butter Cloud Latte side view

Once the foam has sadly subsided, you’re left with my favorite sort of holiday coffee, which is one that actually tastes like coffee. So often these beverages can be over-the-top sweet and feel more like a melted sundae than a latte, but this stays firmly in the coffee zone. You can taste the espresso, and it’s nicely complemented by the creamy milk and buttery, brown sugar cookie notes. It smells and tastes just like you think the holidays should, with a warm spice blend that’s like a complex but less aggressive gingerbread. From the first whiff of the cookie bits and cold foam to the last sip, the aromas and flavors of cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves, and brown sugar make this drink taste like Christmas in a cup.

I don’t know who first decided that Biscoff cookies were the perfect in-flight snack (okay, the internet tells me it was Michael McGuire who tasted them in Europe and pitched the idea to Delta – Thanks, Europe and Mike!). But Dunkin’ has convinced me that its Cookie Butter Cloud Latte is the perfect holiday drink. Thanks to a recent promotion, I paid less than three dollars for this drink and liked it so much I had it three times in one week. At its regular price of $5.69, I probably won’t purchase it every day, but I would like to, because it’s that good. Dunkin’ gift cards are going straight to the top of my wishlist this year. Santa reads The Impulsive Buy, right?

Purchased Price: $2.22 (with a $2 deal in the app, regular price $5.69)
Size: Medium
Rating: 10 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (Medium Iced) 370 calories, 12 grams of total fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 210 milligrams of sodium, 56 grams of total carbs, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 56 grams of total sugar, and 9 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Pop-Tarts Protein Boostin’ Brown Sugar Cinnamon

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Pop-Tarts Protein Boostin' Brown Sugar Cinnamon box

There will come a time, likely at the beginning of next month if history is any indicator, where many of us in the junk food community — myself included — will find ourselves standing in front of a bathroom mirror, or on an unforgiving bathroom scale, lamenting the devious being who invented Chex Party Mix, puppy chow, and those delightfully sinful temptations that haunt my dreams, Oreo balls. We will pledge to right the ship in the new year by eschewing things that weren’t grown in dirt or on trees, by taking walks over our lunch breaks, and by avoiding sugar like it’s the door handle of a grade school bathroom.

We know how to eat healthy, sure. The problem is eating healthy isn’t always delicious, and as human people, we like to eat delicious things. Kellogg’s is trying to up its share of the health food market by cramming its beloved breakfast pastries with extra protein. Okay, so “cramming” is doing a lot of heavy lifting here. And make no mistake, despite the increased amount of protein, these are still far from healthy food.

I’ll be the first to admit that I’m a pretty harsh Pop-Tart critic. Over the last several years, Pop-Tarts, as much if not more so than any other food, seemed to have suffered from shrinkflation. With each passing package, they seem to lose frosting coverage, and, much like my joy while consuming, the filling has diminished. I just can’t justify the sugar and the calories when I get so little happiness in return. The new extra protein version, however, was a markedly different experience.

Pop-Tarts Protein Boostin' Brown Sugar Cinnamon icing

Each pastry was covered in frosting, with only the barest edge of crust untouched. There seemed to be more filling than I’ve grown accustomed to, too. I had Protein Boostin’ Brown Sugar Cinnamon (Brown Sugar Cinnamon being the best all-time regular Pop-Tart, of course), and each bite was full of that familiar cinnamon-y goodness. (These also come in Bumpin’ Blueberry and Slammin’ Strawberry, because, in the name of health, food must be bumped, slammed, and/or boosted, obviously.)

The only difference I could notice from a regular Pop-Tart was the texture; these were chewier than usual, but not to the point of distraction. What I mean is, if you haven’t had a normal Pop-Tart in several years, the textural difference probably won’t even be noticeable.

Pop-Tarts Protein Boostin' Brown Sugar Cinnamon filling

I enjoyed the box I bought enough to want to try the other varieties. I’d be surprised if they remain on shelves, though. People looking for gainz won’t find many here — 10 grams for two tarts from milk protein concentrate and wheat protein, isn’t exactly incredible, and only double the original, plus you’re ingesting 31 grams of sugar along the way — and the regular Pop-Tart consumer probably won’t be bothered to spend an extra buck.

Purchased Price: $3.48
Size: 14.3 oz box/8 pastries
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2 Pop-Tarts) 400 calories, 11 grams of fat, 3.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 20 milligrams of cholesterol, 290 milligrams of sodium, 67 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 31 grams of sugar, and 10 grams of protein.

6 Other Things I Consumed This Week: 12/12/2025

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Yes Honey Sweet Apple Soda

Yes Honey Sweet Apple and Strawberry Sodas

These definitely taste like they’re sweetened with honey. I picked up the Sweet Apple one first, and when I tried it, I didn’t taste apple. All my taste buds could pick up was the honey, which Winnie the Pooh would be all over and shaking his honey pot-shaped belly in euphoria. But I really wanted more of apple.

Yes Honey Strawberry Soda

Because the honey was so strong with the Apple one, I wondered if it would be the case with another Yes Honey flavor. So I ended up spending another three dollars for the Strawberry version, which had a more noticeable fruity flavor. The honey still comes through strong, but at least my tongue can taste the strawberry.

Adding honey to a strawberry soda creates a unique flavor that’s also quite good. If you happen to see Yes Honey sodas, they’re worth a try.

Yes Honey Soda also comes in Ginger Ale, Watermelon, Berry, and Peach flavors. The latter two flavors have 50 milligrams of caffeine from green tea.

RYSE Sunny D Energy Drink

Ryse Sunny D Energy Drink

I went into my local 7-Eleven to during my run jog brisk walk sloth-paced walk to pick up something to pick-me-up. I had intended to purchase a Monster Ultra, but a can was almost FIVE DOLLARS. So I ended up buying the RYSE Sunny D Energy Drink, which was almost two dollars cheaper.

Does this energy drink taste like Sunny D? I don’t know. It’s been a VERY long time since I’ve had Sunny D, and I’m trying to remember what it tastes like. All I remember is that it was SUPER sweet, and I don’t get that with this sugar-free drink with 200 milligrams of caffeine. It definitely has an orange flavor, but no wave of nostalgia washed over me, reminding me of Sunny D. It’s fine tasting energy drink, and it’s made me curious enough that I might give other RYSE flavors a try.

Pop & Bottle Double Cold Brew Oat Milk Latte

Pop & Bottle Double Cold Brew Oat Milk Latte

This one is not for me. After trying it, I would not repurchase it.

What got me curious about it was that this coffee drink is sweetened with dates. As someone who likes RXBars and Larabars, I thought it might surprise me. As I drank it, RXBars and Larabars definitely came to mind, although too much. It’s not awful, but the date flavor distracts my taste buds from the coffee and cold brew. If I were into niche alternative sweeteners, this would be one of the few coffee drink choices I have.

A can does have 120 milligrams of caffeine. However, the can’s 8-ounce size bothers me. Before I knew it, it was gone.

Starbucks Iced Banana Protein Cold Foam Matcha

Starbucks Iced Banana Protein Cold Foam Matcha

When Starbucks rolled out its protein drinks and protein cold foams, this version that it promoted was the only one I wanted because, if you’re a regular reader here, you know I go bananas for bananas. Anyhoo, this drink was highly disappointing to my banana-loving taste buds.

The foam’s banana flavor was almost non-existent, except for occasional moments when a banana chunk ended up in my mouth. But other than that, all I could taste was the matcha, which isn’t an awful thing because, if you’re a regular reader here, you know I go mmmm for matcha. Well, at least I got a good amount of protein that day.

Alani Nu Winter Wonderland Energy Drink (2025)

Alani Nu Winter Wonderland Energy Drink (2025)

Alani Nu’s Winter Wonderland got rebuilt in Santa’s workshop this year. I didn’t try the previous version, which had a coconut element. However, this updated flavor with a stronger fruity taste is delicious. Out of all the cranberry-flavored holiday beverages I’ve had over the past few weeks, I think this one stands out as my favorite. However, that could be the caffeine talking. But it has a tasty cranberry flavor that’s neither too sweet nor too tart, making it easy to drink. It’s definitely something I’d drink again next year unless Alani Nu changes the recipe again. Which I hope it doesn’t do.

REVIEW: Starbucks Eggnog Cream Cold Foam

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Starbucks Eggnog Cream Cold Foam cup

If there’s something more highly anticipated than the Starbucks bear tumbler (too soon??), it’s the eggnog-flavored beverages. The last time we saw eggnog at Starbucks was in 2020, and for some, that was a long five years. Along with the iced or hot latte, there’s now an Eggnog Cream Cold Foam that can be mixed and matched with other drinks to your liking.

I decided that the best drink to pair with the Eggnog Cream Cold Foam was a standard cold brew. I wanted the cold foam to shine and have a blank canvas for me to work with.

Well, let me tell you, folks, if you want eggnog, stick to the lattes. I was so excited… and then very disappointed.

Starbucks Eggnog Cream Cold Foam top layer

Starbucks Eggnog Cream Cold Foam from top

The cold foam’s flavor was good on its own. If you gave me a cup of that and a spoon, I think I’d kick my rating up a couple of notches. I appreciated the slightest sweetness and how it made the cold brew creamier. However, the flavor died just as quickly as the cold foam dissolved into the drink. I don’t think I’ve ever seen the cold foam dissipate as quickly as this one. Within 10 minutes, it was completely gone from the top. And the eggnog flavor I got while it was alone did not come through once it disappeared. Perhaps the cold brew was too strong, overpowering the foam’s flavor? I’m honestly still willing to give this one another shot, and a regular iced coffee with it might be on the horizon…

I could also see this working if you wanted to jazz up a vanilla latte and didn’t want the full eggnog flavor – just the cold foam. But if you do try, just be prepared that it might not live up to the flavor potential.

Purchased Price: $5.50 ($4.25 for a tall cold brew + $1.25 for the Eggnog Cream Cold Foam)
Size: Tall
Purchased at: Starbucks
Rating: 4 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: No nutrition numbers available for cold foam.

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