REVIEW: Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream Bars

/ / Reviews / 1 Comment

Ben & Jerry's Cookie Dough Ice Cream Bars box

For as long as I have consistently perused the mainstream frozen foods aisle at grocery stores, two things have always stayed true: Ben & Jerry’s makes the best widely available pints, and Häagen-Dazs has the best bars. But that gap may be closing. To kick off the new year, Ben & Jerry’s has an all-new line of ice cream bars, in an array that pays homage to some of your favorite Ben & Jerry’s pints, which include Cookie Dough and Strawberry Cheesecake.

Ben & Jerry's Cookie Dough Ice Cream Bars exterior

If there is any flavor that is now ubiquitous with Ben & Jerry’s, it has to be Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough (I know Cherry Garcia is great too, but, c’mon!). As the first company to put dough into their pints it makes sense that this is the one it is pushing forward with the hardest, as it will be available in both grocery four packs and single servings in convenience stores like 7-Eleven. Ben & Jerry’s Cookie Dough bar is vanilla ice cream with gobs of chocolate chip cookie dough, dipped in chocolatey coating with cookie pieces.

Ben & Jerry's Cookie Dough Ice Cream Bars interior with vanilla ice cream and cookie dough

Ben & Jerry’s has a good, solid vanilla base that comes through in this bar. The decently-sized cookie dough chunks pop up a respectable amount, about four per bar, which gives every other bite a hefty helping of gritty brown sugar flavor and texture. While the base and mix-in are solid, the real surprise element that brings the experience together is the cookie pieces mixed into the chocolate. The little extra bit of grit and nuanced cookie flavor, along with the melty cocoa taste, really elevates it to something more than your typical frozen confection, and it’s great.

Ben & Jerry's Strawberry Shortcake Ice Cream Bars box

On another band of the flavor spectrum, we have the Strawberry Cheesecake bar, which is cheesecake ice cream with strawberry swirls, dipped in white chocolatey coating with graham cracker pieces. I have never personally been a fan of the Strawberry Cheesecake pint, but this bar iteration is absolutely fantastic. The cheesecake ice cream is smooth and only subtly tangy, while the swirls provide a sweet acidity with a sugary finish that truly is a match made in heaven.

Ben & Jerry's Strawberry Shortcake Ice Cream Bars exterior with white creme and graham pieces

Yet again, what really makes this bar shine is the coating. Not only is the white chocolate delightfully sugary and decadent, but the graham pieces bring a bolder crunch and saltiness that make for one of the better ice cream bars from any company I have had in years.

Ben & Jerry's Strawberry Shortcake Ice Cream Bars interior with cheesecake ice cream and strawberry swirls

The concept with these new novelties is simple, but they are executed wonderfully. The Ben & Jerry’s ice cream bars serve as a snapshot of what digging into one of their more storied pints can be in a fraction of the time and calories. And if you’re feeling generous, they’re easy to share, too.

DISCLOSURE: I received free product samples from Ben & Jerry’s. Doing so did not influence my review.

Purchased Price: FREE
Size: 4 2.5-ounce bars
Purchased at: Received from Ben & Jerry’s
Rating: 8 out of 10 (Cookie Dough), 9 out of 10 (Strawberry Cheesecake)
Nutrition Facts: (1 bar) Cookie Dough – 200 calories, 12 grams of fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 30 milligrams of cholesterol, 40 milligrams of sodium, 22 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 17 grams of total sugars, and 3 grams of protein. Strawberry Cheesecake – 200 calories, 11 grams of fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 30 milligrams of cholesterol, 90 milligrams of sodium, 23 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 21 grams of total sugars, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Milano Mango White Chocolate Cookies

/ / Reviews / Leave a Comment

Pepperidge Farm Milano Cookies belong in a very specific, subjective category of accessible snack foods that I have always perceived to be a little fancy. Along with gold-wrapped Ferrero Rocher and snooty French Grey Poupon, Milano cookies have a certain air of elegance even though they share the same grocery store shelf as Oreos and Chips Ahoy. Everyone loves an Oreo, of course, but can they be called distinctive?

Milano’s line of white chocolate flavors has somewhat reinvigorated this stereotype of fanciness for me, and so finding its Mango White Chocolate Cookies felt like striking gold. The line includes Lemon, Strawberry, and Coconut flavors, all of which I have previously enjoyed.

Mango joins their tasty ranks, but with a caveat: the mango flavor is an imposter. There is a floral fruitiness to the cookies that is reminiscent of mango, but it lacks the fruit’s bright, tropical flair. If I were blindfolded (this is Milano, so I imagine the blindfold must be silk), I would guess the fruit flavor to be apricot. The subtle, honeyed flavor reminds me of the apricot jam-filled thumbprint or kolachi cookies available in bakeries, except with added sweetness from the white chocolate. If you manage to taste the orange-colored mango component of the filling separately, the tart pineapple-y notes are more discernible—but you may need to decimate the sandwich cookies to get there.

Of course, Milano cookies are known for their delicate, crumbly biscuits. The buttery vanilla cookies lend themselves beautifully to the filling’s flavor. While the filling only insinuates mango, it does yield a balanced, light, and sweet cookie that pairs well with tea. More mango flavor might overshadow the biscuit or rely on an overly artificial, candylike flavor, and how uncouth that would be for a so-called fancy cookie.

Milano Mango White Chocolate Cookies split

Milano Mango White Chocolate Cookies may fall short of the concentrated flavor burst that tropical fruit fans love, but they are still a worthy addition to the white chocolate product line. Of the flavors so far, I like them second best (after the exquisite Lemon variety) and humbly petition for raspberry and blueberry flavors too—please and thank you, Pepperidge Farm! While I should delicately savor these cookies per the line’s elegant aesthetic, I can’t promise I won’t devour them instead.

Purchased Price: $4.69
Size: 7 oz package
Purchased at: Wegmans
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2 cookies) 140 calories, 7 grams of fat, 4.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, less than 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 40 milligrams of sodium, 17 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 9 grams of sugar, and 1 gram of protein.

REVIEW: Cheetos Simply NKD Puffs

/ / Reviews / 8 Comments

Cheetos Simply NKD Puffs bag

Allow me to get political for a second…

Don’t worry, I’ll try to toe (tow?) the line like a spineless coward.

Where are we at with the health administration discourse? Are these food dyes we devour every day really a crisis, or is eliminating them just a gimmicky distraction? Shocking to no one, I’ve heard both arguments.

I’m a little cynical. On one hand, it feels like an absolute bare minimum the food industry can do to pretend they’re feeding us “healthier” food. However, I also see no reason why synthetic food dyes and artificial flavors should exist if there’s even a 1% chance they’re harming us.

No matter your stance, Frito Lay has started the process for you. It’s begun phasing out synthetic food dyes and artificial flavors with a new Simply “NKD” line of snacks, because no one, and I mean NO ONE, likes Cheeto fingers.

That is my nonpartisan way of interpreting this.

Let’s stop arguing about things we should all agree on and focus our energy on real debates, like whether it’s “toe the line” or “tow the line,” because I’ve never been confident and couldn’t commit to either one. I’m sorry, I’m just a moderate on this issue.

“Chee-to the line.” There it is.

Cheetos Simply NKD Puffs naked of dyes

Cheetos Simply NKD Puffs no artificial flavor or dyes

Do you like Cheetos Puffs? Well, hopefully you liked them for their flavor and not their color, because “NKD” might be the wave of the future.

Warning: nudity ahead, this review may be NSFW!

Cheetos Simply NKD Puffs censored

Cheetos are good and will remain good. I can’t say it any more simply … as these are technically “Simply” Cheetos, which I didn’t even know still existed. I thought that was the discontinued line that gave people gastrointestinal issues.

Cheetos Simply NKD Puffs vs regular Cheetos

I reviewed the “NKD” Cheetos against regular old classic puffs, and honestly didn’t taste much of a difference. It was minor, and that was comparing a regular Cheeto vs. a “Simply,” which is marketed as a “cleaner” cheese puff that uses “real” ingredients.

Cheetos Simply NKD Puffs in a bowl

These are devoid of color but still have plenty of flavor. If anyone tells you there’s a big discrepancy, they’re just outraged by change. I think the NKD puffs taste just a little blander, and that’s the “Simply” of it all, as I don’t believe the orange dust was a flavor enhancer, but classics do “pop” with a tiny bit more long-lasting flavor.

If this is how we have to enjoy Cheetos moving forward, we’re gonna be fine. We’ll heal, hopefully together.

I like the puffs, but I don’t love the branding. I can’t help but feel like the bag is designed to trick people into thinking they’re a fancy health food. Don’t slack off on your diet, just because they un-dye it.

Speaking of vibes, I hate the “we’re a hot new start-up” style name, “NKD!” Did they really need to remove the “a-e?” Maybe they’re just holding them back as an “i-o-u.” … and sometimes “y!”

It’s quite literally stripped down, unlike that very complex vowel joke.

Oh, and Chester Cheetah is nude on the bag. He goes by “Chest-hair Cheetah,” now.

Cheetos Simply NKD Puffs Chester naked

Just kidding, that perv has always been naked.

These Cheetos may be a bit less dangerous, but they are, like my comedy stylings, still “dangerously cheesy.”

So, they’re a little less fun looking. Oh well. We’ll live… if the government lets us. Vote or Dye!

Purchased Price: $3.97
Size: 8 oz bag
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (13 pieces) 160 calories, 10 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 140 milligrams of sodium, 16 grams of total carbohydrates, 1 gram of total sugars, 1 gram of dietary fiber, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Bloom Glacier Crush Sparkling Energy Drink

/ / Reviews / 1 Comment

Bloom Glacier Crush Sparkling Energy Drink can

Glacier Crush sounds like a Gatorade flavor.

I assumed, with “glacier” in its name, that Bloom Glacier Crush Sparkling Energy Drink would probably be blue or white in color, but that name doesn’t give me a hint as to what it’s supposed to taste like. Thankfully, by law, there has to be an ingredient list, and within that lineup of ingredients that end with -ine, -ate, -ide, -ine, -vin, and -min, there was “patented lychee fruit extract.”

In my mind, I’m like, “awesome,” a lychee-flavored energy drink, which there needs to be more of. Then I thought the white in the can’s design must represent the lychee’s flesh, and the liquid would come in a pleasant, opaque white color. However, it turned out to be yellow, like pee-in-the-glacier-snow-yellow. Definitely not lychee-colored.

Bloom Glacier Crush Sparkling Energy Drink color

Confusing to my eyes? Yes. But this energy drink is also confusing to my taste buds because, while there’s lychee extract, the beverage’s flavor reminds me of blue raspberry. A delicious blue raspberry, mind you, but still not lychee. But I imagine if Bloom ever decides to create a proper lychee-tasting energy drink, it would be pretty good, because the two drinks I’ve had from the brand, including this one, have been delightful.

Not only does the drink have 180 milligrams of caffeine from green coffee extract, but it also has galactomannan prebiotic fiber, which sounds like something from alien plants. However, that alien-sounding nutrient provides only one gram of fiber. Come on! Instagram tells me I need more fiber! Please give it to me!

Much like I’m amazed at how great Monster Ultra flavors taste despite having zero sugar, I’m equally surprised at how great these Bloom Energy flavors are, even though they are also sugar-free and have apple cider vinegar mixed into them. Poppi needs to do whatever Bloom is doing to hide the apple cider vinegar in them.

Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: 12 fl oz can
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 10 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 milligrams of sodium, 2 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 0 grams of sugar, 0 grams of protein, and 180 milligrams of caffeine.

REVIEW: Pillsbury Limited Edition Candy Cane Sugar Cookie Dough

/ / Reviews / 4 Comments

Pillsbury Limited Edition Candy Cane Sugar Cookie Dough packaging

If the media has taught me anything, it’s that regular sugar cookies are the default cookies left out for Santa. But after a lifetime of delivering gifts, I’m pretty sure, much like Santa’s whole body is tired after a night of chimney sliding, present slinging, turbulent sleigh riding, reindeer arguing, and a low iPhone battery, his taste buds must be equally as tired as the rest of his body from sugar cookies.

I’m gonna mix it up for Santa this year and offer him something new. Crumbl? I’m not spending six bucks for one cookie. Chips Ahoy? I don’t want to be on his naughty list next year. Cookies baked from scratch with love? I don’t have the time or love for that.

I’m leaving out for him Pillsbury Candy Cane Sugar Cookies that I got for free from General Mills, which I’m going to try to pass off as baked from scratch. I’m also including a nice, cold, tall glass of a Monster Ultra Energy Drink. SHHHH! Don’t you be telling Santa that I put zero money and barely any effort into turning this pre-made, pre-cut cookie dough into cookies for him. You know what they say, “Snitches get stitches” and “Informers, something something something. I lick he boom-boom down.”

Pillsbury Limited Edition Candy Cane Sugar Cookie Dough baked up close

In my mind, being labeled “candy cane” meant there were crunchy candy cane bits in the dough, and when I examined the baked cookie closely through my nearsightedness, I noticed red and white bits, which made me think there were tiny shards of minty candy. However, my teeth didn’t register any crunchy bits; instead, it had the texture of a regular Pillsbury sugar cookie, soft and slightly chewy.

But the lack of candy cane bits did not equal a lack of peppermint flavor. There’s a mild Sensodyne toothpaste-like mintiness in every bite. Even if you don’t chomp on one of those red or white bits, the dough has mint baked into it.

While I’m disappointed I didn’t experience crunchy candy cane bits and a strong minty flavor from the cookies, these Pillsbury Limited Edition Candy Cane Sugar Cookie Dough cookies are decent. They’re different enough from Pillsbury’s standard sugar cookies that Santa might let out a quiet ho ho ho when he shoves them between his red, rosy cheeks. However, they aren’t outstanding enough to make The Big Guy forget all the illegal trespassing, storm avoiding, tip-toeing, fireplace fire avoiding, and elf attitude he needs to deal with for the rest of the night.

DISCLOSURE: I received a free product sample from General Mills. Doing so did not influence my review.

Purchased Price: FREE
Size: 12 oz/makes 12 cookies
Purchased at: Received from General Mills
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 cookie) 150 calories, 7 grams of fat, 3.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 85 milligrams of sodium, 20 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 13 grams of sugar (including 13 grams of added sugar), and 0 grams of protein.

Scroll to Top