REVIEW: Frosted Crisp Apple Pop-Tarts

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Frosted Crisp Apple Pop Tarts

What are Frosted Crisp Apple Pop-Tarts?

They’re a Walmart-exclusive variety that’s now a part of the seemingly endless list of Pop-Tarts flavors.

How are they?

Frosted Crisp Apple Pop Tarts 3

Filled with potential but ultimately pretty average. OK, it’s actually filled with apple goo, and that part is tasty. The flavor and consistency reminded me of the hot apple lava that McDonald’s puts in their pies, but not the new, less sugar “healthier” filling it started using a few months ago. It’s more of the previous, full-sugar version.

As an aside, I pity those of you who are not old enough to remember when Mickey D’s would fry their apple pies. Sure, you risked severe burns on the inside of your mouth by eating one, but they were so much better than the baked versions of today.

Frosted Crisp Apple Pop Tarts 2

Back to the Pop-Tarts though, and this version seems kind of like a missed opportunity. Yes, the apple filling is good, but with the standard white Pop-Tarts frosting this doesn’t really distinguish itself from any other regular fruit flavor. Previous members of the apple Pop-Tart family, like caramel apple, cinnamon apple, apple strudel and Jolly Rancher green apple, had something special going on outside with either a flavored and colorful frosting or some type of coating.

This variety is not bad, but maybe the Pop-Tarts people could have tried a little harder to come up with something new and unique. And no, adding “crisp” in front of apple doesn’t count.

Is there anything else you need to know?

It appears that Walmart only offers these in the 16-count “Value Pack” rather than the standard 8-count boxes, so make sure you are prepared for that kind of commitment before purchasing.

Conclusion:

If you are a Pop-Tarts and a crisp apple enthusiast, then you’ll probably enjoy these, but even then it’s unlikely you’ll be itching to stock up before they disappear.

If your goal in life is to try every Pop-Tart flavor ever made, then congrats on setting a pretty awesome goal for yourself and have at it. But if not, there are plenty of other more satisfying and unique flavors out there to try.

Purchased Price: $3.68
Size: 28.2 oz. box/16-pack
Purchased at: Walmart (Exclusive Flavor)
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 pastry) 200 calories, 5 grams of total fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 180 milligrams of sodium, 36 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of dietary fiber, 14 grams of sugars, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Pepperidge Farm Goldfish Epic Crunch

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Pepperidge Farm Goldfish Epic Crunch

Do the kiddos still use the word “epic”? I’m asking for a friend because, obviously, I know the answer because I’m totally cool. Wait. Do the kiddos still use the word “cool”? Anyhoo, Pepperidge Farm is using the word that may or may not be hip to help name its latest crunchy fish-shaped snack —- Goldfish Epic Crunch.

According to the packaging, the snack has a tortilla crunch and big flavor, and that “big flavor” is available in three varieties — Ranch, Nacho, and Honey BBQ. While Ranch and Nacho have graced the surface area of previous Goldfish, Honey BBQ appears to be a first for the snack.

Pepperidge Farm Goldfish Epic Crunch Hollow

The hollow pieces are more massive than regular Goldfish, and they do have an epic crunch that reminds me of rolled tortilla chips, but they don’t have epic flavor.

Pepperidge Farm Goldfish Epic Crunch Ranch Closeup
Pepperidge Farm Goldfish Epic Crunch Ranch

They’re not completely tasteless, but the seasonings are light in flavor, and they fade quickly, leaving behind mostly the whole grain tortilla base to torture my taste buds until I eat more.

The reason why these don’t do it for me is because, with all three varieties, they’re like diet versions of some of my favorite snacks. Ranch reminds me of Cool Ranch Doritos; Nacho evokes Nacho Cheese Doritos; and Honey BBQ brings to mind Fritos Honey BBQ Flavor Twists (the best Fritos, IMO). I’d rather have the tasty goodness of the originals than diet versions.

Pepperidge Farm Goldfish Epic Crunch Nacho Closeup
Pepperidge Farm Goldfish Epic Crunch Nacho

However, much like Cool Ranch and Nacho Cheese Doritos, eating Goldfish Epic Crunch will lead to getting the seasoning on your fingers, which will turn your digits into savory suckers after you’re done eating. Although, it’s not as potent as what you’d get from Doritos. But, if you think about it, whatever seasoning ends up on your fingers won’t be on the Goldfish, which is where it needs to be.

Pepperidge Farm Goldfish Epic Crunch Honey BBQ Closeup
Pepperidge Farm Goldfish Epic Crunch Honey BBQ

My unscientific guess at how much lighter the taste is to those classic snacks would be about 50 percent, which is not strong enough to compel me to keep sticking my hand into the bag to catch more of these Goldfish. I wish they were, to use a Pepperidge Farm trademark, Flavor Blasted.

Overall, Pepperidge Farm’s Goldfish Epic Crunch is something I wouldn’t try again. With regular cheddar Goldfish, the salty and cheesiness makes me want to keep stuffing my mouth with them. But I don’t want to do that with these. They do have an epic crunch, but their flavor is wiggity wiggity wack.

Do the kiddos still use “wiggity wiggity wack”?

DISCLOSURE: I received a free sample of the product. Doing so did not influence my review in any way. Although, you probably guessed that while reading this review.

Purchased Price: FREE
Size: 5.5 oz. bags
Purchased at: Received from Pepperidge Farm
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (26 pieces) Ranch – 130 calories, 4 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 180 milligrams of sodium, 22 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 1 gram of sugar, and 2 grams of protein. Nacho – 130 calories, 4 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 230 milligrams of sodium, 22 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, less than 1 gram of sugar, and 2 grams of protein. Honey BBQ – 130 calories, 4 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 230 milligrams of sodium, 22 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 1 gram of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Cap’n Crunch’s Chocolate Berry Crunch Cereal

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Limited Edition Cap n Crunch s Chocolatey Berry Crunch Cereal

What is Cap’n Crunch’s Chocolate Berry Crunch?

It’s Cap’n Crunch’s newest creation and ode to Valentine’s Day – Chocolate Berry Crunch. According to the box, this cereal is “decadence – if you like the taste of chocolate – Love. This. Crunch.” Combining the Cap’n’s classic red crunch berries with a choco-fied version of his usual yellow lined rectangles, this is a cereal that wants to lure you seductively into its milky bowl.

How is it?

Limited Edition Cap n Crunch s Chocolatey Berry Crunch Cereal 2

Truth be told it’s not nearly as sexy as the Cap’n wants us to think, but it’s also far from bad. The leading flavor is the very familiar nondescript fruit and sugary pop of red crunch berries, which comes along with a solid fluffy yet firm texture that soaks pretty easily in milk.

The chocolate pieces seem to be outweighed by the berries at around a 1-to-3 ratio, being much less dominant in most bites. The pieces themselves carry a mild cocoa flavor without any bitterness or sharp notes like in Cocoa Puffs. A little chocolate comes through the berry-forward mix, but even on spoonfuls of mostly crunchy rectangles, the chocolate is gentle, almost to a fault.

Is there anything else you need to know?

Limited Edition Cap n Crunch s Chocolatey Berry Crunch Cereal 3

The chocolate pieces stay firmer and soak up less milk than the berries, which towards the bottom of the bowl creates an interesting textural contrast. I also noticed that the leftover dairy carried a more chocolaty flavor than most of the eating experience, which made for a nice finish.

Conclusion:

This is a tasty cereal that falls right in line with the things most people love and expect from Cap’n Crunch, but it isn’t anything super new or groundbreaking you need to rush out and get before some new version of the Cap lines the shelves.

Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: 12.5 oz. box
Purchased at:
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (3/4 cup) 100 calories, 1 gram of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 160 milligrams of sodium, 22 grams of carbohydrates, 0grams of fiber, 11 grams of sugar, and 1 gram of protein.

REVIEW: Post Hostess Honey Bun Cereal

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Post Hostess Honey Bun Cereal

We seem to be in the midst of a cerealssance.

Not only are the permanent fixtures beefing up their flavor varieties, but brands not usually known for cereal keep sneaking their way into the aisle. Hell, at this rate of expansion, they may LITERALLY beef up the aisle with a McDonald’s hamburger flavored cereal soon.

You cringe, but you’d probably be morbidly curious enough to try a box. Don’t lie.

Anyway, the point is, new cereals be droppin’.

After its recent venture into the frozen section, Hostess has partnered with Post to transform two of its most iconic snack cakes into a different form of breakfast treat – Powdered Donettes and Honey Bun Cereal.

In an effort to stick to my “chill on the sweets” New Year’s resolution, I decided only to buy the flavor I’d prefer in snack cake form – Honey Bun.

Right from the jump, a pleasant and familiar scent hit me that I didn’t necessarily associate with Honey Buns, despite really trying. I did however immediately think of ripping the seal off a carton of fresh vanilla icing, so I wasn’t too disappointed.

Post Hostess Honey Bun Cereal Holes

The cereal pieces have an interesting shape completely authentic to the look of Honey Buns, except they’re holier. I’m not just referring to the holes, I also mean “holier” in the religious sense, because HOLY CRAP, this cereal is good!

I imagine some people might say it tastes a bit like sugar cookies, but I’m gonna throw a flavor combination at you because it’s all I could think about while eating these – General Mills Oh’s meets Waffle Crisp. (French Toast Crunch also works.)

Post Hostess Honey Bun Cereal in a Bowl

Oh’s are one of my favorite cereals of all time, but I always kinda hated the rough texture. Waffle Crisp was a cereal that laid dormant in my memory until now, because a nostalgia flavor wave, or “flave™” if you will, hit me as soon as I ate a spoonful of Honey Bun cereal. While there isn’t maple, something about the level of sweetness and the texture instantly brought Waffle Crisp right back into my brain.

Post Hostess Honey Bun Cereal Close Up in Milk

The odd shape of this cereal lends itself to an excellent textural experience. They aren’t teeth-shatteringly crispy while dry, but also don’t sog into mush as they settle in the milk.

Now with all this said, I do still think the flavor is true to the iced goodness of Honey Bun snack cakes, which just makes it all the better.

In case you are wondering, the cereal leaves behind a “Honey Nut Cheerio-esque” milk, which is a perfect capper to the experience.

In the end, Honey Bun cereal might be a little too sweet, but that’s me nitpicking and trying to find a negative.

I wasn’t excited about the prospect of a powdered donut cereal, but you better believe I’ll be snatching Donettes up soon. I cannot wait until every last Hostess snack cake becomes a cereal. At this point, that seems inevitable. Don’t miss out on these.

Purchased Price: $3.69
Size: 11.5 oz. box
Purchased at: ShopRite
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (3/4 cup) 110 calories, 2 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 115 milligrams of sodium, 24 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 14 grams of sugar, and less than 1 gram of protein.

REVIEW: Jello Play Monster Slime and Unicorn Slime

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Jello Play Monster Slime and Unicorn Slime

I remember slime back in the ’90s when every kid’s dream was to be covered in it on national television or when you had it at home and it was called GAK.

Unless you have been living under a rock, you know that slime has made a comeback in a big way. So big it’s even jumping to entirely different parts of the store. Forget the toy aisle and please welcome slime to the food aisle! It’s 100 percent edible and from Jello Play the makers of, well, Jello.

There are two versions available. There is the Monster version that is neon green and lime flavored. And, Jello managed to loop in another trend with a unicorn version that is bright pink and strawberry flavored.

Jello Play Monster Slime and Unicorn Slime 2

The super fine powders are white with just the slightest tinge of green and pink and have a noticeable smell of their associated flavor. However, as the canister alludes to the creation will be neither solid nor liquid as it shifts back and forth between the two.

Jello Play Monster Slime 1

Jello Play Unicorn Slime 1

For example “Its firm if you squeeze it, but it can also pour and drip like a liquid!” My thoughts are similarly on different sides of the spectrum in that I was both wowed with this product but also horribly disappointed. Let inner child Leonard and current adult Leonard share more about how this went down:

Inner child Leonard: “Ooooh, monsters and unicorns, so fun!! Look it comes with its own scoop and you just add water. WOW, this is SO EASY to make. It’s turning a bright green and pretty pink, how cool!!! OMG MOM, look at THIS. It breaks apart when you pull on it, OMG!!!!!!!!! It’s melting and dripping!!! Now, it’s tough and firm as I’m pushing on it. MOM, feel it, this is SO NEAT. OMG, WOW, SO FREAKING COOL!!!!!!!! And you can eat it. I can’t wait to TRY IT!!!!!”

(Plays with it for another hour)

Jello Play Monster Slime 2

Current adult Leonard: “Wow, this is incredibly messy. The powder is getting everywhere. Let’s try the directions. It seems to be too thick, let’s add more water. Now it’s too runny, add some more powder. This is kind of more like oobleck, that stuff they make for science experiments, rather than slime. I wish it was more translucent and slimy. Now I have to eat it when my hands have been literally all over it? Oh boy.”

Jello Play Unicorn Slime 2

“Yikes, this is disgusting, like pretty gross. It does have a faint lime (or strawberry) flavor, but I thought it would taste better coming from Jello. It tastes like crushed up chalk or a pastry where I hit a large pocket of nothing but unbleached flour. The sweetness of the strawberry definitely fares better than the sourness of the lime with the starchy vehicle. What do I do with it now?”

(Proceeds to dispose of it in the trash can.)

Jello Play Monster Slime 3

I had a lot of fun with these as it’s not every day you get to play with your food and even if you are not a kid the kid in you will surely get immense pleasure out of it. The execution, though, isn’t 100 percent there and don’t expect your guests to fill up on it as your next party’s DIY dessert.

Purchased Price: $5.49 each
Size: 14.8 oz. canister
Purchased at: Giant
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1/2 cup prepared) Monster – 290 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 115 milligrams of sodium, 70 grams of carbohydrates, 20 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein. Unicorn – 290 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 105 milligrams of sodium, 70 grams of carbohydrates, 20 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein

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