QUICK REVIEW: Trader Joe’s Crunchy Cinnamon Squares Milk Chocolate Bar

Trader Joe s Crunchy Cinnamon Squares Milk Chocolate Bar

What is it?

A new candy bar that uses milk chocolate and bits of Trader Joe’s Cinnamon Toast Crunch-like cereal, which, as you can guess, is called Crunchy Cinnamon Squares Cereal.

How is it?

I haven’t tried Trader Joe’s Crunchy Cinnamon Squares Cereal, but from what I can taste in this bar, I feel as if it’s more cinnamon-y and less sugary. The bits provide a lot of cinnamon flavor, but that’s mostly it, more of which I’ll get to in a moment. If you’ve enjoyed cinnamon-enhanced chocolate bars or Abuelita Mexican-style hot cocoa, I imagine you’ll dig this. As someone who loves the chocolate and cinnamon combination, but doesn’t get to enjoy it too often, this candy bar was a treat. The chocolate has a nice creaminess and a great flavor, although its aftertaste makes my mouth feel as if I’ve been chewing Big Red gum.

Is there anything else I need to know?

The wrapper says “bits of crunchy cinnamon squares cereal” and that can be considered an accurate description of what’s inside the chocolate. But, apparently, my definition of “bits” is different than Trader Joe’s version because they’re not what I hoped for.

Trader Joe s Crunchy Cinnamon Squares Milk Chocolate Bar 2

I expected nice chunks of cereal, but instead it’s as if Trader Joe’s took the crumbs at the bottom of a Crunchy Cinnamon Squares Cereal bag, smashed them to make them smaller, and mixed the specks with milk chocolate. There’s some texture, but I refuse to call it crunchy.

Also, you should read the nutrition facts on the back because it will come in handy when you want to eat the entire bar in one sitting. The 70 percent saturated fat might get you to stop eating before it all ends up in your mouth.

Conclusion:

Trader Joe’s Crunchy Cinnamon Squares Milk Chocolate Bar is a great tasting candy bar, but I do wish there were bigger cereal bits in it.

Purchased Price: Received from a friend
Size: 2.8 oz. bar
Purchased at: Trader Joe’s
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1/3 bar) 130 calories, 8 grams of fat, 5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, less than 5 milligram of cholesterol, 45 milligrams of sodium, 15 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 12 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Market Pantry Unicorn Magic Ice Cream

Market Pantry Unicorn Magic Ice Cream

I am loving this modern resurgence of unicorns. It brings me right back to my pre-teen Lisa Frank sticker collecting days. But since I’m already nursing a Hello Kitty obsession and can only handle one “too old for this” thing without looking like a complete lunatic, I limit my unicorn love to food items.

When I saw Target’s new Market Pantry ice cream was called “Unicorn Magic” AND had glitter candy bits, I was ready. First, glitter – no brainer – yes. Second, magic – I don’t go for the poop and snot falderal that drags down many current unicorn products. We all know unicorns do not poop or have phlegm. They’re all magic, sparkle, and love. Thanks for taking the high road here, Target.

The description of the ice cream itself was a bit vague – pink fruity? What does that mean?

Market Pantry Unicorn Magic Ice Cream 2

On prying open the tub, I was a little disappointed by the visual – a muddled pastel pinky-blue that looked more My Little Pony spackling compound than unicorn magic.

Market Pantry Unicorn Magic Ice Cream 3

I breathed in a barely-there fruity aroma. As I scooped down into the frozen mass, the colors differentiated and I could see a more vibrant pink with bright blue and white streaks. Getting better…

Market Pantry Unicorn Magic Ice Cream 4

On the taste front, this ice cream was a delight. “Pink fruity” was definitely cherry – a GOOD cherry. It was very light, not the nightmare medicinal cherry that haunts us all. The blue raspberry stripes gave it a little Jolly-Ranchers-esque flavor pop.

Market Pantry Unicorn Magic Ice Cream 5

I’m not sure why the white swirls are billed as frosting. They screamed marshmallow in taste and texture. Is marshmallow passé now? It was a perfect Fluff-like addition to the creamy fruitiness. I found myself eating more of this ice cream than anticipated.

Market Pantry Unicorn Magic Ice Cream 6

“What about the glitter candy bits” you ask? Well, here is Unicorn Magic’s epic fail. There were plenty of them, but they were barely distinguishable in a scoop. They’re basically shards of white Magic Shell with tiny flecks of color. Come on, people. What about this thing says “glitter”? Confetti, yes. Glitter, NO. What a disappointment.

Market Pantry Unicorn Magic Ice Cream 7

Overall, Unicorn Magic is a tale of two promises – the taste delivered the magic, but the appearance was Unicorn Sedative. I mean, look at the color difference between the container and the product! I have to ding them two rating points for this since the style of the thing is half (or more) of the appeal of unicorn products.

Market Pantry Unicorn Magic Ice Cream 8

Since I liked the taste, I decided to repurpose this ice cream into something that would highlight that but hide the visual. I made bite-sized frozen cookie sandwiches. 3/4 teaspoon scoops of pre-made sugar cookie dough dyed with food coloring, baked. Press a tiny scoop of ice cream between two cookies and roll sides in fun sprinkles.

Market Pantry Unicorn Magic Ice Cream 9

(Nutrition Facts – 2/3 cup – 220 calories, 11 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 30 milligrams of cholesterol, 65 milligrams of sodium, 28 grams of carbohydrates, 0 gram of dietary fiber, 24 grams of total sugars, 20 grams of added sugars, and 2 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: 1.5 qts.
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Great combination of light cherry, intense raspberry and smooth marshmallow fluff. No poop or snot to be found.
Cons: My eyes did not experience magic. I’m spearheading legislation to regulate the use of the word glitter in food products, with a maximum of life in prison for not bringing the sparkle if you advertise it.

QUICK REVIEW: Lay’s Poppables Honey BBQ

Lay s Poppables Honey BBQ

What is it?

A new flavor of the popular Lay’s Poppables, which debuted last year. This product also brings the number of Lay’s honey-flavored potato snacks introduced this year to two. The other being Lay’s Kettle Cooked Honey Chipotle Potato Chips.

How is it?

Although the bag says “Honey BBQ,” with every crunchy nugget I put into my mouth all I could think about was how they exactly taste like regular Lay’s Barbecue Potato Chips. They have a sweet and tangy flavor, but the heavily seasoned pieces have a pronounced smokiness to them.

Lay s Poppables Honey BBQ 2

But, despite honey being listed in the ingredients, it’s not noticeable like it was when I tried the Kettle Cooked Honey Chipotle Potato Chips recently. It makes me feel sorry for the bees who worked so hard to make the honey. All that buzzing around and I can’t even taste it. Let that be a lesson for everyone. Sometimes hard work doesn’t pay off.

Is there anything else I need to know?

These have the same satisfying crunch as the other Popppables varieties. They’re so crunchy that I sometimes like to chew them with my mouth open to try to amplify the crunch.

They’re good, but there’s something about them that prevents them from not being as addictive as the Sea Salt ones. I mean, I have an unhealthy relationship with the Lay’s Poppables Sea Salt. When I buy a bag there’s a 100 percent chance that I’ll empty it out within the next 12-24 hours. But my relationship with this flavor would make my therapist proud. It’s been 24 hours and I haven’t finish the bag.

Conclusion:

If you like Lay’s Barbecue Potato Chips, but want to eat it in a different form factor, here you go.

Purchased Price: $2.50
Size: 5 oz. bag
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (about 28 pieces) 150 calories, 8 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 220 milligrams of sodium, 17 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 1 gram of sugar, and 1 gram of protein.

REVIEW: Taco Bell Strawberry Skittles Freeze

Taco Bell Strawberry Skittles Freeze

Few fast food corporations seem to truly love their customers the way that Taco Bell does.

Let’s be honest: with the kind, loving hand of a well-meaning father, everything and anything the Bell creates is done simply to make us, the fickle consumer, in the broadest of generalities, happy. Very happy. They just want to see a satisfied smile on our faces by consistently going above and beyond our culinary dreams in ways the other fast food joints either can’t or refuse to.

From their now-legendary forays into the Tex-Mex beyond with items like the long-forgotten Bell Beefer sandwich and the heat-punishing Volcano Taco, to recent developments like the blockbuster Doritos Locos Tacos and those omnipresent Nacho Fries, if you can dream it, then the kitchen witches at Taco Bell can probably make it a reality.

Case in point, their latest liquidic offering is the absolutely transcendent Strawberry Skittles Freeze, a tart and tangy frozen sojourn into absolute tooth-rotting bliss. Even more so than their Air Heads or Starburst variations, this chilly elixir perfectly captures the very essence and aura of a strawberry Skittle — everyone’s favorite flavor, right? — and pulverizes it down into a sweetly-sour near-solid that is worth the numerous brain-freezes that should occur from sip after fruity sip.

Taco Bell Strawberry Skittles Freeze 2

Available in a 16 oz. size for $2.39, you’d think that this would be a prime example of sickly-sweet overkill as many of these experiments often tend to be, but the flavor wizards at TB have managed to get the perfect balance, creating a frozen beverage that is finally without a sour, throaty aftertaste from the sweeteners or, even worse, the archetypical queasy stomach from the massive fructose overload. I ordered two —- one with my meal and one for the road and it was an oh-so-smooth ride the whole time.

This leads the door wide open, hopefully and blessedly, for the Bell to create even more candy-inspired frozen drinks; a lemon-lime Skittles frozen lemonade would be quite bomb, especially in the summertime on a rather sultry Sunday right after mowing the yard. But why stop there? How about a Sour Patch Kids Watermelon freeze to sneak into the movies or, por mi gente, a tamarindo or mango con chile concoction of some sort, maybe with a Tajin seasoning packet for the experts. The Bell’s the limit!

But, until then, I will be happily sipping and slurping the rainbow with every limited-time only moment of refreshing romance I have with the Strawberry Skittles Freeze, thanking my pals at Taco Bell from the very bottom of my enlarged heart for, once again, thinking outside the bun and making my most edible of dreams come true like an overweight (and far more watchable) version of the movie Inception. ¡Cómpralo ya!

(Nutrition Facts – 160 calories, 0 calories from fat, 0 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 40 milligrams of sodium, 43 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 43 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $2.39
Size: 16 oz.
Rating: 9 out of 10
Pros: Tastes like frozen Skittle juice. No sickly-sweet stomach ache. ice cold and refreshing.
Cons: Limited-time only.

REVIEW: Coca-Cola Georgia Peach and California Raspberry

Coca Cola Georgia Peach and California Raspberry

Coca-Cola Georgia Peach and California Raspberry sound like Coke Freestyle machine selections.

Actually, according to the Coke Freestyle website, Coke Raspberry is an option, but peach isn’t.

The two flavors also continue the U.S. state shoutout trend that’s similar to what Hershey’s has been doing with its Flavors of America and what Dreyer’s/Edy’s did with its Slow Churned ice cream regional flavors from 2016.

Sadly, Georgia Peach and California Raspberry are currently the only varieties available. So no Hawaii Pineapple, Arizona Prickly Pear, or Idaho Potato. Maybe later this year or next year?

The first thing that comes to mind after tasting the California Raspberry is Lipton’s Brisk Raspberry Iced Tea. So imagine that with the flavor of Coke to get an idea of what the raspberry one taste like. That’s Brisk, baby! That’s also kind of weird since PepsiCo distributes Lipton’s Brisk Iced Tea.

As for the Georgia Peach, it also has a flavor that tastes similar to me — Haribo Gummy Peach Rings. They’re a little floral, but I love those gummies. The peach is a bit artificial, but it goes well with Coke.

Both are made using natural flavors and cane sugar. The use of cane sugar, like all other products I’ve tried with the sweetener, makes it smoother and easier to drink than those that use high fructose corn syrup.

Unfortunately, they’re available only in glass bottles 4-packs. So if you buy a pack and don’t like it, you’re stuck with the other three. Although, you might find some sucker on eBay who runs a junk food blog to buy two bottles from you at a price that’s equal to what you paid for both 4-packs. Or you could not buy the raspberry one and instead visit your nearest Coke Freestyle machine and try a raspberry-flavored Coke.

Coca-Cola Georgia Peach and California Raspberry are both pleasant flavor variations and definitely worth a try, especially the peach one. I have a feeling a lot of drinkers won’t agree with me about the peach, but I prefer it because its flavor reminds me of my beloved Haribo Peach Rings and I like the uniqueness of it. It’s not every day we see a peach cola.

And maybe, someday, we’ll see more Coke flavors like these.

(Nutrition Facts – 12 oz. – 140 calories, 0 grams of fat, 35 milligrams of sodium, 37 grams of carbohydrates, 37 grams of sugar, 0 grams of protein, and 34 milligrams of caffeine.)

Purchased Price: Paid too much for them on eBay
Size: 12 oz. bottles
Purchased at: eBay
Rating: 8 out of 10 (Georgia Peach)
Rating: 7 out of 10 (California Raspberry)
Pros: Both are pleasant flavored Coke variations. Made with cane sugar. California Raspberry reminds me of Lipton Brisk Raspberry Iced Tea. Georgia Peach reminds me of Haribo Peach Rings.
Cons: Available only in glass bottle 4-packs. Only two flavors. Not a lot of caffeine.

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