REVIEW: 7-Eleven Caramel Bar Made with Twix Donut

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7 Eleven Caramel Bar Made with Twix Donut

I open my review with a quote from pop culture’s most famous convenience store proprietor, Apu Nahasapeemapetilon:

“You’ve clearly taken items from the candy rack and placed them on top of the donut in an attempt to pass them off as sprinkles. A Mounds bar is not a sprinkle! A Twizzler is not a sprinkle! A Jolly Rancher is not a sprinkle, sir. Perhaps in Shangri-la they are, but not here!”

So, is a Twix bar a sprinkle? Did 7-Eleven break the convenience code, or do they use a different rulebook than the Kwik-E-Mart?

I guess a better question is do you care?

You don’t care. You just wanna know if a donut sprinkled with Twix pieces is good. I’ll kill the suspense right here. Yes. Of course a donut covered in Twix pieces is good.

Do you like heavy donuts? Your entire enjoyment of the 7-Eleven Caramel Bar made with Twix Donut might hinge on that question. This donut was almost as big a mouthful as that name.

I personally like really dense donuts, so this was right up my alley. If you wanna know what the texture was like, think of two chocolate frosted Dunkin’ Donuts violently mashed together. This is a heavy piece of pastry. The fact it’s oblong and hole-less definitely added to that density.

Sticking to that comparison, this basically tastes like a chocolate frosted Dunkin’ Donut with caramel added (Note to Dunkin’ Donuts: Sell those.)

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The caramel is painted on top like a standard icing, and definitely tasted authentic to a Twix. I will say that it did get a bit overshadowed due to the chocolate drizzle and candy pieces that were caked on top as well as the dense dough, but it was still tasty.

The Twix bits, which looked like pretzel pieces on first glance, did their job just fine. I probably could have even used more of them. The Homer Simpson approach of just tossing an intact bar atop the donut may have worked better. Instead of chopping Twix up, I would have liked five or six mini Twix on top – one per bite.

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I thought for sure there would be some kind of caramel or chocolate filling, but I cut it open and was proven wrong. That may have been overkill, but I can imagine some people yearning for a little something to cut the dough.

The donut had a pleasant scent, but everything in a 7-Eleven bakery cabinet smells the same over time.

I would recommend the 7-Eleven Caramel Bar made with Twix Donut for sure. I’d also recommend picking up a Twix and chasing each donut bite to really hammer home the Twix experience. Why not? You’ve been good all week.

This is a winner for 7-Eleven in my eye, but it might be too heavy and too skimpy on the Twix pieces for some people. Still, if you’re stopping in for a morning coffee, this beast will hold you over ’til lunch.

Thank you, come again.

(Nutrition Facts – Not available.)

Purchased Price: $1.69
Size: N/A
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: I really like dense, chewy donuts. Fresh. Tasty combination. Can’t go wrong with Twix. Your brain reading that quote in Apu’s voice. There’s a Simpsons reference for everything.
Cons: Caramel gets masked a bit. Not enough Twix pieces. Oblong donuts. Could have come up with a better name. Nutritional facts not available on website.

REVIEW: Limited Edition Cocoa Puffs Ice Cream Scoops Cereal

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Limited Edition Cocoa Puffs Ice Cream Scoops Cereal

I look forward to the day 10 years from now when a young underpaid staff writer for Buzzfeed, HuffPost, Delish, Refinery 29, Epicurious, Thrillist, or some not yet created online publication posts “23 Cereals You Didn’t Know Existed from the 2010s” or “14 Cereals From the 2010s You Might’ve Missed in the Glut Known as the Cereal Aisle.”

On that day I will most likely see one of the photos in this review and read 75-125 words about Limited Edition Cocoa Puffs Ice Cream Scoops Cereal.

For those of you who have read articles on Buzzfeed or HuffPost titled something click baity like “17 Breakfast Cereals From the 1980s We’d Kill To Try Again” or “42 Cereals We’d Go Back in Time For If Time Travel Existed,” you might’ve seen another ice cream-flavored General Mills cereal — Ice Cream Cones. I’d like to think this new variety of Cocoa Puffs is the reincarnation of that cereal I’d kill to try again.

Limited Edition Cocoa Puffs Ice Cream Scoops Cereal 2

The part of a complete breakfast features strawberry, vanilla, and chocolate flavored corn puffs. So it’s a Neapolitan ice cream-flavored cereal. It’s also a 100 percent strawberrier version of Cocoa Puffs Combos that was on shelves years ago. While Cocoa Puffs is in its name, the chocolate pieces are not actual Cocoa Puffs. They’re smaller and not as spherical. All three corn puffs have dull colors. Thanks no colors from artificial sources!

The aroma that comes out of the bag is all strawberry. All day. All night. 24/7. Actually, its smell reminds me of Cap’n Crunch’s Crunchberries, which is not a bad thing. With a strong berry scent, I thought it would have an overall strawberry flavor. And after eating a bowl, dry and with milk, I was right.

Limited Edition Cocoa Puffs Ice Cream Scoops Cereal 3

Through, I imagine, cereal osmosis, the strawberry attached its flavor to the other cereal pieces. I tried them individually. I ate them mixed with each other. I had them mixed with each other in milk. I tasted them from a box. I consumed them with a fox. I tasted them in a house. I gobbled them with a mouse. But no matter how I ate them, strawberry was the dominant flavor and I detected only a little chocolate and even less vanilla. It’s decent tasting, even though it’s mostly berry flavored and doesn’t remind me of ice cream. But I wouldn’t buy it again.

So if you’re one of those folks who eats all the strawberry from a Neapolitan ice cream container or enjoys berry-flavored cereals, you’ll like this. But if you’re one of those who avoids the strawberry in Neapolitan, you’ll dislike this as much as those who dislike you for eating just the chocolate and vanilla from a Neapolitan ice cream carton.

(Nutrition Facts – 3/4 cup cereal only – 100 calories, 10 calories from fat, 1 gram of fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 120 milligrams of sodium, 50 milligrams of potassium, 23 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 8 grams of sugar, 14 grams of other carbohydrates, and 1 gram of protein.)

Purchased Price: Bought on eBay, so significantly more than you should pay
Size: 10.8 oz. box
Purchased at: eBay
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Not horrible. If you love the strawberry part of Neapolitan ice cream or berry-flavored cereal, you’ll like this.
Cons: If you avoid the strawberry part of Neapolitan ice cream, you might not like this. Weak chocolate flavor. Weaker vanilla flavor. Doesn’t remind me of ice cream.

REVIEW: Limited Edition Jelly Donut Oreo Cookies

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Limited Edition Jelly Donut Oreo Cookies

The scene: Nabisco’s headquarters. Half a dozen marketing executives are sitting at a table.

“Alright, guys, we really, really have to hit this one out of the park,” the leader of the brainstorming session says. “It’s summer, and Walmart demands we outdo the Root Beer Oreo.”

“How about, uh, ice cream-flavored Oreo cookies?” one suit proposes.

“What about, um, a chili pepper Oreo?” suggests another.

“Would it be possible to test a pot brownie Oreo in the Denver market?” inquires yet another.

The rest of the team shakes their heads.

“No, we really have to think outside the box,” the team leader says. “Seriously, what’s something unique and summery we can work with here?”

A long silence follows. Then, at the very end of the table, the newest member of the team speaks.

“Maybe…jelly donut flavored Oreo cookies?”

A mile-wide grin stretches upon the team leader’s lips. “Kid – you’re a genius.”

The room bursts in applause, confetti falls from the ceiling and the celebratory jugs of milk doth spray.

And scene.

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Okay, so I’m not entirely sure that’s how Jelly Donut Oreo Cookies came to be, but it’s probably pretty close. Coming up with an infinity number of twist-top sandwich cookie variations can’t be easy, and it’s way easier to go wrong (cough SWEDISHFISHOREO cough) than go right with the gimmick.

In the rich panoply of limited time only (LTO) Oreo cookies, I’d say these Walmart exclusives are in the top 30 percentile. They’re no match for the pumpkin spice permutation, but they’re definitely superior to B-leaguers like watermelon and cotton candy.

Limited Edition Jelly Donut Oreo Cookies 3

According to Nabisco, these things are supposed to taste like an amalgamation of custard and raspberry. Oddly enough, the cookies at first bite taste indistinguishable from the rank-and-file Golden Oreos – and technically, they are save that smidge of raspberry goop (which I thought tasted more like grape than anything else) in the middle. I didn’t really get a distinct custard flavor from the creme, but I certainly got a mouthful of artificial fruit flavoring, which – to my taste buds, at least – tasted remarkably similar to the molten jam stuffed inside a Frosted Wild Grape Pop-Tart.

I guess the best LTOreo to compare this one to is the fruit punch version from a couple of years back. It has that same sugary-yet-still-quasi-believable fruit taste, except slightly more tart. So if you were a fan of that one and have been desperately, direly praying for the product’s return, this is probably as close as you’ll ever get to reliving the wonder and whimsy of 2014.

Granted, it may not taste too much like your favorite Dunkin’ Donuts staple, but it’s nonetheless pretty yummy. And regardless how you feel about the deluge of seasonal Oreo cookies hitting the store shelves, we can at least take some comfort in Nabisco appearing to pursue more subdued flavors than in years past – sorry, those of you still patiently waiting for those Limited Edition Macaroni and Cheese Oreo Cookies.

(Nutrition Facts – 2 cookies – 150 calories, 60 calories from fat, 7 grams of total fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 80 milligrams of sodium, 10 milligrams of potassium, 21 grams of total carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 12 grams of sugar, and less than 1 gram of protein.)

Purchased Price: $2.79
Size: 10.7 oz. package
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: The artificial jelly flavor is pretty good. The interior creme has a rich taste and texture. The Golden Oreo “toppers” allow you to eat it without your teeth looking like a collapsed coal mine.
Cons: The “donut” flavor is faint. It doesn’t taste that much different from a few previous LTOreos. Burning your fingertips trying to dip ‘em in a cup of piping hot extra-dark roast coffee…over and over again.

REVIEW: DiGiorno Pepperoni Pizza Buns

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DiGiorno Pepperoni Pizza Buns

DiGiorno’s Pizza Buns are like mini cinnamon buns. Except instead of cinnamon, sugar, and frosting, there’s meat, cheese, and sauce.

When I first saw these, I thought it was a silly and horrible idea. But that’s based on my experience with a similar product — Target’s Market Pantry Pizza Spirals. They. Were. Horrible. They didn’t heat up well, even in an oven, the dough was chewy, the pizza filling was mushy, and they made me cry.

So let’s find out if DiGiorno’s Pizza Buns will make me do the opposite of crying, which is shaking my buns.

DiGiorno Pepperoni Pizza Buns 2

It’s available in many varieties, but I decided to go with pepperoni. The snack also features mozzarella cheese, a chunky tomato sauce, and preservative free dough. The cheese is on top, while the pepperoni pieces and sauce are between the layers of spiraled dough. Each bun is about two inches wide and, as you can see above, pre-burnt on top.

DiGiorno Pepperoni Pizza Buns 3

Like products that come with microwave and conventional oven instructions, the latter always does a better job. But the microwaved ones are above decent. They don’t have a slight crispy exterior, like the oven prepared ones, but they don’t end up tough or dried out either. The microwaved dough is soft and easy to bite through.

Usually, I’d say, if you’re willing to wait, go for the oven. But for these Pizza Buns, the time spent waiting might not be worth it.

Now I’m happy to report they’re 100 times better than Market Pantry’s Pizza Spirals. They’re good enough that I don’t want to throw them away or write an angry letter to Target corporate soaked with my tears.

DiGiorno Pepperoni Pizza Buns 4

The pepperoni has a slight spicy kick and the sauce, while not chunky, does have a nice sweet tomato flavor. Since the cheese is on top, it’s pre-burnt. So no gooey cheese.

While tasty, a serving of Pizza Buns isn’t a filling snack. A serving is two buns and there are three individually wrapped pairs per box. A pair is a lot lighter than a Hot Pocket and a little bit less than a serving of six Pizza Rolls. Also, the Pizza Buns don’t have as bold of a flavor as the other two frozen pizza snacks.

Well, at least it doesn’t have a molten filling that burns my mouth like the other two.

So I’m kind of torn about DiGiorno’s Pizza Buns. They taste fine, but they’re not exciting enough to make me shake my buns.

(Nutrition Facts – 2 pizza buns – 200 calories, 80 calories from fat, 9 grams of fat, 3 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 10 mud 410 milligrams of sodium, 23 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 3 grams of sugar, and 7 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $4.49
Size: 8 oz. (3 pairs)
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: A decent amount of pepperoni per bun. Nice sweet tomato sauce. Better than okay when microwaved. No molten filling to burn my mouth. 100 times better than Market Pantry’s Pizza Spirals.
Cons: Doesn’t have as bold of a flavor as other frozen pizza snacks. Comes pre-burnt. No gooey cheese. Not a filling snack. Doesn’t make me shake my buns.

REVIEW: Arby’s Pizza Slider

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Arby s Pizza Slider

Simple is good. You don’t need to reinvent the proverbial wheel for a limited time product to work – you just have to switch up the core idea of a product and present it as aesthetically and gustatorily pleasing as possible.

Arby’s all-new Pizza Sliders are a great example of fast food minimalism. It’s not too ambitious, it’s not too gimmicky, and it doesn’t try to be anything bigger or better than it really is. It’s just a gloriously uncomplicated minor tweak to the chain’s tried-and-true Sliders formula and that makes for a great value-priced (read: dollar menu) offering.

Arby s Pizza Slider 2

It’s basically a miniature version of your classic Italian sub sammich. There’s a big chunk of pepperoni, several meaty chunks of Genoa salami, a hearty smattering of melted provolone cheese and a dollop of roasted garlic marinara sauce wedged in between the “mini-buns,” which are actually much larger than you’d expect them to be (for comparative purposes, I’d say they’re about twice the size of the mini-burgers at White Castle and Krystal.)

Arby s Pizza Slider 3

If you’re trying to stretch a dollar, you’re definitely going to get your money’s worth here. Don’t let the “miniature” gimmick fool you, these things are remarkably dense and surprisingly filling. I ordered three of them and by the time I put down the third Slider I felt as if I had crammed down a full-sized meatball hoagie.

Arby s Pizza Slider 5

But not all is well in Pizza Slider Town. The sandwich is also very salty, packing a walloping 930 milligrams of sodium. That’s about half the sodium content you’d find in something like Hardee’s/Carl’s Jr.’s Baby Back Rib Thickburger, a competing LTO burger easily three times the slider’s girth. So if you tear into these things sans a beverage on the side, don’t say I didn’t try to warn you.

Arby s Pizza Slider 4

It’s a minor point of contention, but I also thought the marinara sauce could’ve been better (and, believe it or not, it’s not the same stuff Arby’s uses for its mozzarella sticks.) The sauce here is less tangy and more watery, and could really benefit from a pulpier blend and just a wee bit more garlic or oregano. It’s no deal breaker, though – and since the burger is only a buck, I suppose I can let it slide (get it, because it’s called a Slider?)

Terrible puns aside, these things are just dandy. They’re yummy, satisfying and super-duper affordable — essentially, everything you want out of a seasonal fast food item. And as far as imitation pizzas go, these things beat the susceptor-coated sleeves off Hot Pockets’ wannabe pizza sandwiches in overall quality and price.

(Nutrition Facts – 300 calories, 150 calories from fat, 17 grams of total fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 930 milligrams of sodium, 23 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 2 grams of sugar, 13 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $1.00
Size: N/A
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: The sandwiches have a LOT of pepperoni and salami on them. The melted mozzarella is fairly flavorful. Despite their stature, they are astonishingly filling.
Cons: The marinara sauce is kinda’ weak. All that sodium will have you chugging Aquafina like your uvula is on fire. Having no idea which packet of sauce to ask for to accompany the sandwich.

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