REVIEW: Red Baron Fully Loaded Pepperoni Pizza

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Red Baron Fully Loaded Pepperoni Pizza Box

What is Red Baron Fully Loaded Pepperoni Pizza?

Red Baron’s new “Fully Loaded” product line is named for its generous toppings. This pepperoni variety promises two kinds of pepperoni tossed among mozzarella cheese and a zesty tomato sauce. Also available are Five Cheese and Supreme varieties.

How is it?

As an avid fan of both junk food and the written word, I like to luxuriate in product descriptions. Finding just the right word can evoke glorious imagery. As I read the official Fully Loaded descriptions on Red Baron’s website, certain phrases characterizing this new product line’s toppings appealed to my inner word nerd: “loaded,” “mounds,” “piled high.”

What bounty! What splendor!

Red Baron Fully Loaded Pepperoni Pizza Frozen

Unpackaged, the pizza is unfettered from those lofty expectations. Contrary to the product’s name, the Fully Loaded Pepperoni Pizza isn’t overloaded with toppings, although it offers enough to deliver great flavor.

Red Baron Fully Loaded Pepperoni Pizza Toppings

Slices of crisp, lightly spicy pepperoni pair with chewy, salty little pepperoni cubes to ensure each piece of pizza gets a hit of meat. Mozzarella covers the pizza but is too spare to achieve cheese-pull status. Flecks of cheddar are also present, but their flavor is largely lost among the mozzarella and pepperoni spices. The tomato sauce is a nice surprise: thick in texture with hints of sweetness and smoky paprika.

Red Baron Fully Loaded Pepperoni Pizza Crust

The real bounty of this pizza lies in the crust, which may be the most successful of all the Red Baron products I’ve tried. Moderately seasoned and buttery, it’s not too greasy. Thick and chewy, it somehow manages to remain airy and light. My only complaint is its tendency toward gumminess in the middle of the pizza, where the lightest part of the crust absorbs the sauce.

Red Baron Fully Loaded Pepperoni Pizza Cooked

The crust’s edges are crisp — and I mean crisp. Have you ever watched a cooking show where the host bites into their final creation, turns to the camera, and asks the viewer, “Did you hear that?” I was tempted to recreate that for you, but this is a written review and so you can’t hear the satisfying crunch of my pizza cutter rolling through this crispy, crispy crust. I’m sorry for that.

And I’m sorry to demote your star status, toppings.

Anything else you need to know?

Red Baron Fully Loaded Pepperoni Pizza Side

This pizza reminds me a lot of DiGiorno’s Crispy Pan Pizza because they have similarly thick, yet airy crusts at comparable price points. I like both products equally.

Conclusion:

Red Baron’s Fully Loaded Pepperoni Pizza is hearty, flavorful, and among the brand’s stronger offerings. The product’s name sets high expectations that the toppings themselves don’t fulfill, but its thick, crispy crust helps to deliver an abundant bite.

Purchased Price: $7.99
Size: 27.85 oz (1 lb and 11.85 oz)/789 g
Purchased at: Giant Eagle
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (per 1/6 pizza) 380 calories, 19 grams of fat, 9 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 680 milligrams of sodium, 37 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 6 grams of sugar, and 15 grams of protein.

SPOTTED: Reese’s Popcorn

/ / Spotted on Shelves / 4 Comments

Reese s Popcorn

Look, I’m all for Reese’s Popcorn, Cocoa Puffs Popcorn, and Cinnamon Toast Crunch Popcorn. But you know what sounds better? Reese’s Potato Chips, Cocoa Puffs Potato Chips, and Cinnamon Toast Crunch Potato Chips. Come on, potato chips companies! If Reese’s can come out with potato chip stuffed Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, then why can’t we have Reese’s drizzled (or dipped) potato chips? (Spotted by Robbie at Sam’s Club.)

REVIEW: Popeyes Chocolate Chip Cookie

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Popeyes Chocolate Chip Cookie Wrapper

What is Popeyes Chocolate Chip Cookie?

As the smoke finally clears from the drawn-out and bloated chicken sandwich wars that it started, Popeyes has set its sight on something many of its competitors already offer — chocolate chip cookies. Chick-fil-A, Wendy’s, McDonald’s, and even KFC, all who were challenged by Popeyes’ titan of a chicken sandwich in 2019, have all offered cookies for years, and this time it’s Popeyes showing up fashionably late to the party.

How is it?

What set Popeyes’ chicken sandwich apart from the rest was its hand-breaded freshness. While I know it’s a fast food sandwich, it still felt like a step above the price point and an experience that lived up to and exceeded the hype.

Popeyes Chocolate Chip Cookie Top

It’s with that mindset that I was immediately let down when handed a chocolate chip cookie inside of a cellophane bag, clearly not baked on-site and far from fresh.

Popeyes Chocolate Chip Cookie Split

Maybe my expectations for Popeyes are too high, but this cookie tastes about as generic and nondescript as you can imagine. The base has a typical brown sugar and vanilla flavor with a less than desirable amount of semi-sweet chocolate chips throughout. It’s a bit dry and crumbly, not stale per se but a far cry from the soft and fresh texture of a place like Subway. This cookie isn’t awful, but for such a late entrant into the cookie space, it’s wholly unremarkable.

Anything else you need to know?

Popeyes Chocolate Chip Cookie Bottom

Did this cookie come from Safeway? Costco? KFC? If I didn’t walk into Popeyes and buy it with my own two hands, I would never be able to tell — it’s the definition of underwhelming and basic.

Conclusion:

For a chain that delivers an apple pie with a legitimately crispy crunchy fried outer shell and pulled off freshly fried chocolate-filled beignets, this cookie feels like the definition of an afterthought and not one worthy of capping off a meal that starts with Popeyes’ fantastic sandwich.

Purchased Price: 79 cents
Size: One Cookie
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 cookie) 190 calories, 08grams of fat, 5 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 25 milligrams of cholesterol, 130 milligrams of sodium, 29 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 17 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Limited Edition Strawberry Banana Cheerios Cereal

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Limited Edition Strawberry Banana Cheerios Cereal Box

What is Limited Edition Strawberry Banana Cheerios Cereal?

After the Strawberry Cheerios and Banana Nut Cheerios of yesteryear, both have joined forces. There are also heart-shaped pieces, which makes me wonder if they’re trying to get a jump on Valentine’s Day. Bold move, General Mills.

How is it?

To me, Honey Nut Cheerios might be the perfect cereal. There’s a kind of spectrum that runs from bran flakes on the healthy end to Cocoa Puffs on the other, and Honey Nut Cheerios artfully balances right in the center like a world-class gymnast. The taste is just sweet enough that you feel like you’re getting a bit of a treat. Now I don’t know if Honey Nut Cheerios would really be considered healthy by nutritionists (who would probably recommend a breakfast of wild-caught salmon instead) but darnit, it FEELS healthy.

So the question here is whether or not these are as good as HNC. Short answer: no.

Limited Edition Strawberry Banana Cheerios Cereal Bowl

Strawberry Banana Cheerios have two types of pieces, pink and plain: they’re also in the shape of either hearts or traditional Cheerios “Os.” The pink are strawberry flavored, while the plain are, in theory, banana-flavored. While the pinks provided that standard artificial strawberry flavor you’ve encountered elsewhere, the plains had an aftertaste of popcorn, which is weird.

When I had the cereal in a bowl, I was able to taste a little bit of banana flavor. The pieces kept their integrity while I was eating and didn’t turn to mush, but considering how fast I can scarf down cereal, that’s a low bar to clear.

Limited Edition Strawberry Banana Cheerios Cereal Real Banana

I put a banana down next to my cereal knowing that next time, this cereal was going to get banana-fied, whether it wants to or not. This may be a crime.

Anything else you need to know?

Limited Edition Strawberry Banana Cheerios Cereal Back

From the back of the box I have learned that, sadly, a car powered by strawberry juice did not in fact drive across the state of Texas. Disappointing.

Conclusion:

Strawberry Banana Cheerios are inoffensive, but they are lacking in flavor. That’s okay though, because BYOB (Bring Your Own Banana).

Purchased Price: $4.88
Size: 14.9 oz box
Purchased at: Stop & Shop
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 cup) 140 calories, 2.5 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 150 milligrams of sodium, 30 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 11 grams total sugar, and 3 grams of protein.

ANNOUNCEMENT: New Impulsive Buy Reviewer Karen

/ / Announcement / 7 Comments

Hi everyone, I’m Karen. Now I know what you’re thinking: as a Karen, I must be one of those women who gives every cashier a hard time and constantly asks to see the manager. Do not believe what the internet has told you: most Karens are completely harmless, even in a retail environment. It’s just a few soccer moms with delusions of grandeur that give all Karens a bad name.

I’ve always been a sweets lover. When I was a little kid, my Mom often had Ring Dings around the house, and I got to eat them as an afterschool snack. Ever since then, it has been my sole occupation in life to acquire more sweet treats. I got married and had a kid somewhere in there, but that just means I can steal my kid’s snacks. Okay, I don’t actually do that, but she has a whole basket of leftover Halloween candy right now…she doesn’t even look at it…what would be the harm…anyway, I like salty snacks from time to time too, but on the whole I’m a sugar lover. I’m also a coffee lover, although I went through a brief, intensive tea-head phase in 2019 that I still don’t understand. My main areas of food interests include bread, cakes, cookies, and cereals; if that seems incredibly broad to you, you’re not wrong.

I’m a professional writer, but I haven’t always been able to choose my subjects. I worked in newspapers for a couple of years, and while I wanted to write about boxed pie and Chips Ahoy varieties, the bosses wanted me to write about sewer management and school board meetings. It wasn’t always fun, but on the plus side, if you ever need someone to write cogently about legislative redistricting while eating an entire cake, I’m your girl. Nowadays I write fantasy novels, so I can write about vampires eating cake instead. I like this better than newspapers, although I do kind of miss the cookies they would put out at school board meetings. Some of the wealthier districts put out a good spread, no joke.

What else is important about me? I’m a big fan of comics and anime, but that’s largely because I need something for my eyeballs to do while I’m eating. X-Men>>>Avengers, I’m just saying. I’m also finishing up a Master’s degree in literature, because there’s nothing left to do once you’ve already made the mistake of majoring in English than to go hard-core. My favorite boxed snack is Little Debbie’s Nutty Buddies, which my husband claims taste like cardboard; the weird thing is, I actually agree with him on this, yet I still love them. It’s sort of cardboard-y but it’s got some cool textural thing going on that my mouth just loves. I’m a New Yorker, I say “soda,” not “pop,” and I am happy to be your new snack food guinea pig.

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