REVIEW: Limited Edition Pumpkin Pie Rice Krispies Treats

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Limited Edition Pumpkin Pie Rice Krispies Treats

“I’m not sure.”

Those three words have popped into my head a few times while eating Limited Edition Pumpkin Pie Rice Krispies Treats.

So far, I’ve eaten 13 of the 40 bars that are in the box, but I’m not sure my mass consumption is a full you-must-buy-these endorsement. First off, 40 treats is A LOT for one or two people. I’m at 14 (yes, I ate another one while typing this paragraph), and I’m getting kind of tired of them.

When I first gazed upon the rectangular treat, I thought it had an orange hue. But as I stared at it, I wondered if my eyes were playing tricks on me and that its wrapper is influencing its color. When I look at one in the light and away from any wrappers, it looks like a usual pale Rice Krispies Treat, but at the same time, I’m not sure about that because it also looks orangey. My eyes and brain are so confused.

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Dried pumpkin and pumpkin pie spices are ingredients. There’s cinnamon. Yay! Ginger. Yay! Nutmeg. Yay! Allspice. Yay! Acetylated monoglycerides. I’m not sure what that is!

Those ingredients do give the treats an almost authentic pumpkin pie flavor, albeit a bit mild. I recently tried the Pumpkin Pie Kit Kat and they have a bold flavor. If those SHOUT pumpkin pie, these are more like a normal conversation in a quiet room. At first, I thought it was a bit too light because the flavor of a regular Rice Krispies Treat comes through with each bite. But after eating so many of them, I think snack Stockholm syndrome has kicked in and now it’s just right.

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But the thing with the pie flavor is that I’m not sure where it’s coming from. I know the icing has it because when I take a bite with the white drizzle, my taste buds get that mild pumpkin pie flavor. But when I take a bite from its undercarriage, sans icing, I sometimes get spices and other times it tastes like I’m biting into a regular Rice Krispies Treat.

I have 25 left (yes, I ate another). They’re good, but not I’m-going-to-eat-all-40 good. Hopefully, next year they’re available in a less Costco-like size. But if you can pawn them off to your co-workers, friends, or kid’s classmates to gain brownie points, I mean, Rice Krispies Treats points, go ahead and buy a box, and then give the rest to others after you’ve eaten your share.

Thanks to Impulsive Buy reader Carla for sending a box to me!

(Nutrition Facts – 1 bar – 90 calories, 2.5 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 95 milligrams of sodium, 16 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 8 grams of sugar, less than 1 gram of protein.)

Purchased Price: N/A
Size: 40-pack
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Good, but not eat-all-40 good. Almost authentic pumpkin pie flavor. Made with real pumpkin, cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg, and allspice.
Cons: Only available in 40-pack. Not sure if it has an orange hue. Not sure if the pumpkin pie flavor also comes from the Rice Krispies.

QUICK REVIEW: Kellogg’s Despicable Me Chocolatey Chip Banana Eggo Wafflers

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Kellogg s Despicable Me Chocolatey Chip Banana Eggo Wafflers

These Kellogg’s Despicable Me Chocolatey Chip Banana Eggo Wafflers aren’t shaped like Minions. That’s sad because, like Tic Tacs, their pill-like shape SCREAMS Minions.

So no Wafflers shaped like Bob, Carl, Chris, Darwin, Dave, Donnie, Eric, Henry, Jerry, John, Jorge, Josh, Ken, Kevin, Lance, Larry, Mark, Mel, Mike, Norbert, Phil, Paul, Steve, Tim, Tom, or Tony.

But I’m forgiving the brand a little because these Wafflers are not bad, with or without syrup. Now, if you’re familiar with Eggo Wafflers, you know they’re packed with flavor. In this case, it’s chocolatey chips and banana purée, so syrup isn’t necessary. Sure, you could add some, after all, they’re waffles with pockets to hold syrup, but they’re fine without.

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They don’t make your toaster’s immediate vicinity smell like the yellow-skinned fruit while between the heating elements. But if you bring it up to your nose like you’re a monkey determining whether or not you have a banana in your hand, it’ll have a natural overripe banana aroma. The fruit puree baked into the waffle gives the breakfast item a pleasing natural flavor. So you fist-shaking Banana Runts haters, might not hate this.

The chips are exactly like what you’d taste with Chocolatey Chip Eggo Waffles — a slightly unnatural chocolate flavor. They’re not evenly spread across each waffle bar (yes, that’s what Kellogg’s called them), so some bites will be all banana.

I like these Chocolatey Chip Banana Eggo Wafflers, and I’m sure Bob, Carl, Chris, Darwin, Dave, Donnie, Eric, Henry, Jerry, John, Jorge, Josh, Ken, Kevin, Lance, Larry, Mark, Mel, Mike, Norbert, Phil, Paul, Steve, Tim, Tom, and Tony would also like them.

Purchased Price: $4.49*
Size: 16 waffle bars/10.7 oz. box
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2 waffles/4 waffle bars) – 230 calories, 80 calories from fat, 8 grams of fat, 3 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 10 milligrams of cholesterol, 320 milligrams of sodium, 60 milligrams of potassium, 35 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 11 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein.

*Because I live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, things are a bit pricier here. You’ll probably pay less than I did.

REVIEW: Keebler Cereal

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Keebler Cereal

Those crafty Keebler elves!

Not content with just a good portion of the snack aisle (they make Town House crackers, too?!) or hollowing out trees for mass cookie production, they have decided to expand their reach by entering my morning time with the debut of their eponymous cereal. They are so excited by it, actually, it doesn’t need any wildly descriptive title as it is simply just called Keebler Cereal.

Thank goodness the packaging shows the actual product so you know that it is chocolatey cookie based like their Chips Deluxe line rather than Sandies shortbread. PHEW! However, there is a red flag on the top flap noting that I need to “SHAKE IT UP!” as the “Cookies may have settled.” Uh-oh. Upon opening the box it is worse than I imagined as there is nary a cookie in sight even after examining all sides of the inside bag.

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After a good, hearty shake the “real mini chocolate chip cookies” do reveal themselves as promised but the ratio is off. They are present but not predominantly and this is in addition to the fact that they are nearly half the size of the chocolatey puff pieces they are paired with. I wonder what kind of math curriculum the elves have in school because whatever it is it needs to be reevaluated.

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The taste of the cookies is okay with a nice milk chocolate richness that definitely comes through upon chewing, even though they are probably better suited for a snack mix than a breakfast cereal. The other pieces are mediocre, just kind of generic chocolate puffs that are very similar to those in other kid’s cereals. They remind me of the bagged bargain ones you have to buy on the bottom shelf while waddling like a penguin through the aisle as the memorable commercial dictated.

Eating the cereal with milk offers a better experience as you get a nice blast of chocolate every time you stumble upon one of the cookies amongst the puffs. However, I noticed that while eating my way through the bowl there seemed to be even fewer cookies than I had started with.

I did a test by putting one cookie and one puff in milk and stirring vigorously. Upsettingly, the cookie started to dissolve while the puff stayed intact. I was expecting Keebler magic, but not like this!!!

Better luck next time elves.

(Nutrition Facts – 3/4 cup – 130 calories, 30 calories from fat, 3.5 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 140 milligrams of sodium, 24 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 11 grams of sugar, and 2 gram of protein.)

Purchased Price: $5.39
Size: 11.2 oz. box
Purchased at: ShopFoodEx.com
Rating: 3 out of 10
Pros: Rich chocolate flavor from real cookies. Keebler venturing into other grocery aisles.
Cons: Questionable elf math skills. Boring chocolate puff pieces that make me think about waddling like a penguin in a grocery store. Unintended cookie disappearing acts.

REVIEW: Exclusive Villains Edition Frosted Chocolate Sugar Cookie Printed Fun Pop-Tarts

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Exclusive Villains Edition Frosted Chocolate Sugar Cookie Printed Fun Pop-Tarts

If you ever wondered whether or not this is the greatest time to be alive in human history, chew on this: each and every one of us can now waltz on into the local Walmart and buy The Joker, Lex Luthor and a whole host of other fictitious mass murderers and megalomaniacs in breakfast pastry form.

Capitalizing on the success of last year’s D.C. Superhero Printed Fun Pop-Tarts, these Wally World exclusives give us the downright surreal pleasure – no, the absolute privilege – of being able to eat such obscure comic book bad guys as Cheetah and Captain Cold for breakfast. And when I mean “obscure,” I’m talking super-duper-mega-hyper-obscure: if you would’ve told me this time last year Kellogg’s would be putting Atrocitus on its flagship toaster pastries, I probably would’ve tried to get you committed.

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Serving as the breakfast equivalent of trading cards, each of the 16-pack boxes (there are two in each metallic sleeve, as always) contain a random grab-bag of iconic and not so iconic rogues, including but not limited to Sinestro, Two-Face, Scarecrow, Poison Ivy and Catwoman.

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By and large, the “Tartwork” varies in quality – some Tarts look pretty smooth and colorful while others look blurred to the point of being Rorschach tests. I’m not sure how many different characters got the Pop-Tart treatment, but if anybody out there finds a Gorilla Grod, please email me ASAP.

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As for the flavor, we’re working with something Kellogg’s calls “frosted chocolate sugar cookie.” That may sound a little vanilla, but as soon as these things touch your taste buds, you’ll probably start doing backflips. Folks, these are basically OREOS-flavored Pop-Tarts, right down to the taste, texture, aroma and even mouthfeel of the interior creme. Really, it does a better job of aping Nabisco’s beloved twist-top sandwiches than even the Cookies & Creme Pop-Tarts, and those things were still pretty spot-on.

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These Tarts are good fresh out of the box, but if you really want to get your $4 worth, you have to eat them heated. The interior creme practically liquefies in the shell, and this is without question one of the best tasting fillings Pop-Tarts has ever trotted out.

I’ve got to give Kellogg’s major props here. With the D.C. character angle, it would’ve been so easy to just churn out a bland product, but they actually went the extra mile and made sure the food itself was grade A stuff.

Fast food/junk food marketers, take note: THIS is how you do a “tie-in” gimmick right.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 pastry – 190 calories, 40 grams from fat, 4.5 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 1.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 1 gram of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 190 milligrams of sodium, 36 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of dietary fiber, 14 grams of sugar and 2 grams of protein..)

Purchased Price: $3.68
Size: 28.2 oz. box/16 pastries
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 9 out of 10
Pros: The Oreos-esque flavor remains excellent, cold or heated. the interior creme is absolutely delicious. The sheer awesomeness of being able to snap Bane in half and eat him for breakfast.
Cons: Having to buy five or six boxes until you find a mint condition Solomon Grundy. Getting two Harley Quinns when you’d settle for just one Killer Croc. The way your girlfriend looks at you when you tell your toaster to “kneel before Zod.”

REVIEW: Limited Edition Dunkin’ Donuts Frosted Chocolate Mocha Pop-Tarts

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Limited Edition Dunkin' Donuts Frosted Chocolate Mocha Pop-Tarts

Pop-Tarts were never my first choice of breakfast pastry as a kid. Toaster Strudel always seemed more exciting to me, with the interactive DIY frosting packet and an ochre canvas to create masterpieces such as improved superhero emblems and schematics for a homework-completing robot. Toaster Strudel also seemed fancier thanks to an effective marketing campaign that trash talked Pop-Tarts more than a Ronda Rousey opponent.

Pop-Tarts, challenging the notion of Toaster Streudel being more “upper crust,” has introduced two coffee-inspired flavors.

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The Chocolate Mocha packaging created immediate skepticism, as the tie-in with Dunkin’ Donuts did not scream sophisticated. Furthermore, the Pop-Tarts Arts Peeps were not worthy of my failed palindrome attempt, as they appear to have re-purposed rejected images from their A&W Root Beer Float flavor.

The packaging lead to a revelation: Rather than using the toaster, the microwave directions called for just three seconds on high. Three seconds for fully cooked food? Is this the Tang of the 21st century? Call Elon Musk and tell him that, while his efforts were greatly appreciated, we have no reason to venture to Mars anymore.

Before you go selling your Tesla stock, however, please know that it took much longer before the pastry was actually warm. Although they largely tasted the same from the microwave and from my brand-new Toastation (thanks Staci Claus!), the toasted version seemed crispier on the less desirable outer crust, and should still be the preferred version for anyone living on this side of the asteroid belt.

The light brown pastry exterior does not impart as much chocolate as other choco-heavy varieties of Pop-Tarts, but the subtle cocoa flavor is far more effective than the silent B in “subtle.” I didn’t wince when biting into the center from the “sweetsplosion” that is typical with Pop-Tarts. The flavor of the filling isn’t muted like in the pastry crust, but rather more complex, featuring the bitter coffee notes. It was the most balanced Pop-Tart I can remember and tasted great.

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I purchased the drink that inspired the product to enjoy alongside it. As a guy who aspires to someday film a “most expensive Starbucks drink ever” video for YouTube, I had to restrain myself in ordering a simple Dunkin’ Donuts mocha, but it was worth it. The similarities between the products were very evident, with complimentary chocolate and coffee flavors moving in unison like a Tour de France team.

I was impressed with the effort as something different from the standard Pop-Tart fare. Despite the reduced sweetness, my kids also scarfed these down happily. I guess their plans for soda-spewing garden sprinklers and dragon winged bunnies will have to be drawn in notebooks moving forward.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 pastry – 190 calories, 40 calories from fat, 4.5 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 1.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 1 gram of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 230 milligrams of sodium, 35 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 18 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $2.00
Size:
Purchased at: Food Lion
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Believable mocha flavor. Less sweet than most Pop-Tarts. The Flash’s timeless logo. Enjoyable with real coffee. Drinking Starbucks out of a vase for internet glory.
Cons: Strange packaging choices. Silent consonants. May not be chocolate enough for chocolate Pop-Tart lovers. Like everything else about him, Aquaman’s logo is a letdown.

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