REVIEW: Chocolate Peanut Butter Pie Oreo Cookies

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Chocolate Peanut Butter Pie Oreo Cookies

Oreo is the Star Wars of cookies. While I’m always excited about the new flavor announcements, I feel like they come out too frequently these days, and I may be coming down with a case of “cookie fatigue.”

Seriously, how many peanut butter varieties can Nabisco possible pass off as new? We’ve already had the standard Peanut Butter, PB&J, and Reese’s in recent years. Was Chocolate Peanut Butter Pie necessary? Doesn’t this kinda feel like a slight swerve on an established flavor?

Will Chocolate Peanut Butter Pie be the Solo of the Oreo Snackematic Universe?!

Better question – What the heck am I talking about?

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I’m talking about Chocolate Peanut Butter Pie Oreo Cookies. The biggest difference between these and the aforementioned Peanut Butter flavors is the graham cookie, which I somehow overlooked even though it makes perfect sense to the pie it’s mimicking.

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Upon ripping open the annoying Oreo packaging, I was hit by the pleasant scent of Nutter Butter, and all my worries flew out the window. It was comforting and akin to seeing that nostalgic “a long time ago in a galaxy far far away” pop up on screen.

I’ll stop trying to make this Star Wars parallel now and start the review.

Everything about this cookie is grittier than your normal Oreo. The Graham cookies have a slightly harder and sandier texture, which again, reminded me of Nutter Butter.

The crème also chews like it has bits of cookie crumb, but there was no indication of that on the package.

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As for the taste? It’s nice. They would have really had to screw up for it not to be though, right?

I wouldn’t say the crème flavors explode. In the end, I was left thinking the graham was the lead of the movie. I’m not sure that’s gonna make too many people happy to hear, but the chocolate and peanut butter, while good, were a little masked by the cookie flavor.

The aftertaste was heavily graham, with peanut butter on the back of my tongue. I keep coming back to it, but these do remind me of Nutter Butter, so I guess the chocolate kinda gets a bit lost.

With all that said, I like these. They aren’t better than the Reese’s Oreo, but they’re better than the standard Peanut Butter Oreo, which I’ve always found to be disappointing.

These aren’t as cloying as the last few Oreo flavors I’ve tried, so that was a nice change of pace. The grittiness did, however, dry my mouth out, so maybe keep a glass of milk nearby.

So, like Solo, Chocolate Peanut Butter Pie: An Oreo Story was pretty much a fun little detour that will probably be ultimately forgettable. These aren’t gonna be anyone’s favorite Oreo cookie.

I was ready to write them off as unnecessary, but they ended up standing on their own well enough. I would recommend picking up a bag if that’s even what you call Oreo packaging.

(Nutrition Facts – 2 cookies – 140 calories, 6 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 90 milligrams of sodium, 21 grams of carbohydrates, 11 grams of sugar, less than 1 grams of fiber, and 1 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: 12.2 oz. package
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: A nice blend of the three flavors involved. Not as disgustingly sweet as the previous flavors. You’ll like these if you like Nutter Butter. Solo was a decent movie, I guess.
Cons: A gritty reboot of the normal Peanut Butter Oreo. Dry. A little too Graham heavy. Chocolate gets outshined. Oreo may be running out of ideas soon. Cookie fatigue.

QUICK REVIEW: The Simpsons Donut, Bubble Gum, and Blueberry Tic Tacs

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The Simpsons Tic Tacs

What are they?

The Simpsons and Tic Tac have partnered on three new flavors – Donut (Homer), Blueberry (Marge), and Bubble Gum (Bart). Each package contains yellow mints with various expressions of each character. In the spirit of the show, we’ll call them “meh-mojis.” Or “e-DOH-jis!” Or, “shut up and get on with the review, Vin.”

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How are they?

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Donut is probably the flavor you’re wondering about most, so I’ll go more in depth on it. It smells like maple and is the least “minty” of the three. My flavor parallel might sound weird, but it reminds me of Toasted Marshmallow Jelly Belly with a touch of chocolatey leaning sweetness. Don’t expect the flavor of Homer’s favorite pink (Strawberry?) glazed donut. Once you chew ’em, a little menthol mint kicks in.

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Blueberry is along the lines of Tic Tac’s normal fruit efforts, starting out authentic and sweet but then getting bitter. There is more of a lingering minty-ness to these that I could’ve lived without.

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Bubble Gum is the best of the three by a decent margin. It tastes exactly like the Orbit Bubblemint chiclet style bubble gum if you’ve ever had those. There is a big menthol finish that cools the mouth and is the most successful mint integration of the bunch.

Is there anything else I need to know?

A donut-flavored Tic Tac is a cute little gimmick, it serves as much purpose to me as that “single serve” indentation on the Tic Tac lid. Blueberry is decent, but it falls near the bottom of Tic Tac’s fruit efforts.

Conclusion:

For a show that has been on for approximately 63 years, the only food brands I can even remember The Simpsons pairing with without looking are Butterfinger and 7-Eleven, so I’m glad I bought these. I’m enough of a Simpsons nerd that I’m keeping the boxes as “collector’s items,” because why not? Grab the Bart Bubble Gum pack.

Purchased Price: $1.19 each
Size: 1 oz.
Purchased at: Harmon Drug
Rating: 5 out of 10 (Donut)
Rating: 6 ouf ot 10 (Blueberry)
Rating: 8 out of 10 (Bubble Gum)
Nutrition Facts: (1 mint) They are usually 2 calories per mint without much else.

REVIEW: 7Up Cream Cheese Cake Bites

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7Up Cream Cheese Cake Bites

When I mentioned to friends that I was trying 7Up Cream Cheese Cake Bites, at least 3 of them said “Ew!” I couldn’t understand this reaction. 7Up is just lemon-lime – how is that a revolting cake? Cream cheese and citrus isn’t a new combo.

The soda-cake thing isn’t groundbreaking, either – Cola cake has existed for more than half a century. Why were they acting like I was volunteering to each live cockroaches? Have people become so conditioned by coffee potato chips and strawberry-flavored cheese that their Pavlovian reaction to any new flavor variety is to make a face and groan? I, for one, was excited about 7Up Cream Cheese Cake bites.

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On first glance, I saw two things I liked: streusel topping (I love streusel. Haven’t found a way to make an all-streusel coffee cake yet, but I’m working on it!) and a very prominent “Freshness Date” – great, they aren’t shelf-stable until the end of time. When I opened the package, the smell was lacking in lemon-lime-essence. White cake and cream cheese were dominant, with a little shred of lemon way in the back.

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My first bite was a continuation of the aroma experience – not much in the way of lemon-lime. The base was a simple yellow cake. It was tasty, but didn’t scream citrus. The cream cheese topping added a nice tang, but again, not much 7Up flavor. I tasted the streusel alone and realized it wasn’t actual streusel. I think it’s re-baked cake crumbles. Bummer. I wish the package had pointed that out in advance.

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While lemon peel zest is 8th on the ingredients list, lemon oil and 7Up concentrate are 11th and 12th, under “2% or less.” No lime listed at all. That just about sums up this experience – there’s 2% or less of 7Up in this product. I find lemon in particular a flavor that’s hard to skimp on – it’s so powerful, even a little makes itself known. I suspect employee #9145 at the industrial baking plant dozed off for a couple minutes (he’s got a newborn, after all) and forgot to add in the 35-lb. bag of powdered citrus extract.

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The cake is moist and the texture is a nice middle ground – not too light, not too dense.

They’re not bad little cakes, which has earned them some points, but they’re not what they claim to be, which has lost them some points. I would enjoy these on a dessert table at a party, without knowing they’re supposed to be soda-flavored, but I wouldn’t buy them again.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 cake bite – 120 calories, 7 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 15 milligrams of cholesterol, 70 milligrams of sodium, 14 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 9 grams of sugars, and 1 gram of protein.)

Purchased Price: $5.97
Size: 16 cake bites/box
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Decent cake, cream cheese topping is good. “Freshness Date” lets me live the illusion these aren’t mass-produced fake food.
Cons: Lemon-lime taste? In the immortal words of Geoffrey Holder – “Never had it, never will.” Drink an actual 7Up with these if you want the titular experience. And don’t ever tease me with fake streusel. I can’t take it.

QUICK REVIEW: Limited Edition Cap’n Crunch’s Beach Bash Crunch Cereal

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Limited Edition Cap n Crunch s Beach Bash Crunch Cereal

What is it?

As sad as it is to say, eating a bowl of Cap’n Crunch’s Beach Bash Cereal is as close as I’m going to get to actually going to the beach this summer.

Jokes about my current status as a dirt-poor student aside, Cap’n Crunch’s Beach Bash is Quaker’s newest nautical adventure, and combines beach-themed crunch pieces with magical milk-color-changing-sorcery to bring the ocean to your breakfast table!

How is it?

Visually, Beach Bash is about what you’d expect for a beach-themed cereal. Eighty percent of the pieces are standard Cap’n Crunch squares, which happen to look like water wings. The other 20 percent are shaped like stereotypical beach stuff — starfish, floaties, and sharks.

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Taste-wise, it’s Cap’n Crunch. Sweet, crunchy, slightly corn-y, and not much to write home about on its own. If you like regular Cap’n Crunch, then you’ll probably like this, because this doesn’t taste any different.

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The real fun happens after you pour milk into your bowl. Beach Bash has the same milk color-changing technology featured in Halloween Crunch, and uses it here to make your boring old milk turn into an entire miniature ocean! Call me simple-minded, but I like to play with my food, and there’s something about chasing cereal-sharks around a little cereal bowl ocean with my spoon that I find to be both really fun and oddly satisfying.

Is there anything else I need to know?

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Since the cereal has to soak for a couple of minutes in order to make the milk change color, Beach Bash’s quality is contingent on its ability to not instantly turn into mushy cereal-gruel after getting wet. Luckily, this IS Cap’n Crunch that we’re talking about here, so milk viability isn’t an issue. The cereal in my bowl remained pleasantly crunchy after ten minutes of soaking, which was more than enough time for my milk to turn bright blue.

Conclusion:

While I probably won’t make a special trip out to the one Walmart in my area that has this to buy it again, I’d say Cap’n Crunch’s Beach Bash is worth trying, even if it’s only for the novelty factor.

Purchased Price: $2.98
Size: 20.3 oz. box
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (3/4 cup) 100 calories, 15 calories from fat, 1.5 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 190 milligrams of sodium, 40 milligrams of potassium, 22 grams of total carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of dietary fiber, 11 grams of total sugars, 1 gram of protein.

REVIEW: Sparkling Ice Mystery Fruit Flavor Sparkling Water

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Sparkling Ice Mystery Fruit Flavor

Flavor innovation is all the rage recently. From mystery Peeps and Oreo to the ever-popular public vote or creation like Lay’s and again Oreo.

Now enter Sparkling Ice’s new Mystery Fruit Flavor Sparkling Water. With so many of the recent mystery entries being food it’s nice to see a beverage brand decide to follow this trend.

This mystery sparkling water has a cloudy-white appearance as to not offer any hints to the correct flavor. A trick color would have been pretty fun, though, as it would play with your mind as you wonder about its true purpose.

Upon opening the bottle, you get an immediate whiff of just citrus. It definitely smells like it could be lemon-lime like (how lame would that be or absolutely genius depending on how you look at it) but it also does have a little something extra as if maybe another fruit is thrown in there. While executing the sniff test, I couldn’t quite put my finger on it.

Before drinking I decided to examine the bottle for any clues to see if the mystery gods dropped any breadcrumbs for us. Look at the back, for example, the question mark graphic contains line art of different fruits.

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There’s a lemon or lime or orange, a strawberry, a blackberry or raspberry, some cherries and then one that looks to me like a tomato. Remember a tomato is a fruit, not a vegetable, so it totally counts! How clever!? However, I’m not holding my breath that’s the flavor.

The others are your most basic fruits. LAME. The ingredients list shows lemon juice and green tea extract but they are both trumped by natural flavors as an ingredient. So not much help there either.

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Taking my first sip I’m completely underwhelmed. It tastes like, umm, fruit? Again there are the citrusy undertones but it’s hard to pinpoint what else it actually is. I was initially thinking something kiwi but Sparkling Ice already has a kiwi strawberry flavor so it can’t be a recycled one.

Then it hit me.

What’s exotic and different but also kinda kiwi-like? A dragonfruit! As I kept drinking that’s all I thought of, and once I started thinking about it, that’s all I could taste. So that’s my guess.

Overall, it’s a nice tasting zero sugar sparkling water, but I was expecting something more captivating. Just be warned it definitely tastes diet-y as in you can make out the artificial sweeteners from a mile away, but nothing worse than a diet cola.

When the flavor is revealed, I hope it is something more trendy or out there like avocado toast. Just please don’t be lemon-lime coupled with generic fruit, unless it’s an official Sprite or Mist Twist partnership because we all know brand mashups are pretty hot right now. It would be neat and almost make up for the boring flavor.

Almost.

(Nutrition Facts – 8 fl. oz. – 0 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 grams of sodium, 0 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $1.00
Size: 17 fl. oz. bottle
Purchased at: Giant
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Liquid mystery item for once. No color trickery. Pretty good citrus fruity beverage.
Cons: Packaging and ingredients offer no help. Tomatoes and avocados are in fact fruits. TBD for when the flavor is revealed and it’s a huge let down.

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