REVIEW: Nabisco Limited Edition Gingerbread Oreo

Limited Edition Gingerbread Oreo

Only a few genes separate humans from apes. And only a few ingredients separate ginger snaps from gingerbread cookies. But those differences stop me from throwing my poop at others and prevent me from liking ginger snaps, but enjoying gingerbread cookies.

So if these Limited Edition Gingerbread Oreo cookies were Limited Edition Ginger Snap Oreo cookies, I wouldn’t be writing this review.

For those of you who’ve lived under a rock for the past year, 2012 was Oreo’s 100th birthday and Nabisco made it rain new limited edition Oreo flavors up in here.

Limited Edition Birthday Cake Oreo began the celebration. Then Limited Edition Ice Cream Oreo Rainbow Shure, Bert! were at Walmarts all across the nation. Limited Edition Candy Cane Oreo cookies were a Target exclusive. While Limited Edition Lemon Twist Oreo weren’t in national chains and proved to be elusive. Limited Edition Triple Double Chocolate Mint Oreo was by far the least exciting of the bunch. And now the year ends with Limited Edition Gingerbread Oreo cookies for us to munch.

Personally, I find it a bit weird Nabisco produced a cookie that tastes like another cookie. I also would’ve preferred an egg nog-flavored Oreo cookie instead. However, if next year Nabisco releases as many new limited edition flavors as they did this year, there’s a very good chance we’ll see Egg Nog Oreo cookies. Or they could be douchebags and just re-release all the limited edition flavors from this year.

Limited Edition Gingerbread Oreo Closeup

Limited Edition Gingerbread Oreo cookies are made up of Golden Oreo cookies with an artificially flavored gingerbread creme, which comes in a color usually seen on pantyhose. After twisting off the top cookie and licking the soft pantyhose-colored creme, visions of limbless gingerbread men began dancing around my head because the creme tasted much like the arms and legs I violently ripped off their bodies with my teeth. In my visions, I could also see the pain they were in thanks to their sad faces drawn with frosting.

Then I imagined them shaking and thrusting their hips.

Damn you, Magic Mike!

While the creme itself was sweet and had a pleasant gingerbread flavor, the sandwich cookies are much better when eaten as sandwich cookies. The crunchy Golden Oreo cookies slightly diminish the gingerbread creme’s flavor, but the two complement each other very well, creating a delightful treat.

The Limited Edition Gingerbread Oreo cookies are almost good enough to make me forget about the Egg Nog Oreo cookies Nabisco didn’t make this year. But they are good enough to prevent me from harming gingerbread men…Until I run out of them.

(Nutrition Facts – 2 cookies – 150 calories, 60 calories from fat, 7 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 1 gram of polyunsaturated fat, 3 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 80 milligrams of sodium, 15 milligrams of potassium, 21 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 12 grams of sugar, and less than 1 gram of protein.)

Item: Nabisco Limited Edition Gingerbread Oreo
Purchased Price: $9.59*
Size: 15.25 ounces
Purchased at: eBay
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Wonderful gingerbread flavored creme. Crunchy Golden Oreo cookies complement the creme. Ripping off the limbs of gingerbread men. Gingerbread cookies.
Cons: A cookie that tastes like another cookie. Walmart exclusive. Might be hard to find. Ginger snaps. Having to spell creme instead of cream. Magic Mike ruining my violent gingerbread men visions. No egg nog Oreo this year.

*Since none of the stores near me carried it, I had to order it on eBay. If you can find them at Walmart, you will pay much less.

REVIEW: Limited Edition Smoked Cheddar Cheetos Puffs

Limited Edition Smoked Cheddar Cheetos Puffs

Smoked cheeses usually have a brownish exterior, but these Limited Edition Smoked Cheddar Cheetos Puffs don’t have any similar color characteristics of smoked cheese. Instead they’re just noticeably less radioactive orange than regular Cheetos.

Of course, because of the shape of Cheetos Puffs, if they did have a brownish exterior, they would look like poop.

It seems whenever Frito-Lay wants to get fancy with Cheetos Puffs, they break out different cheddar varieties, like white cheddar. And if they want to go the opposite of fancy, they create pizza-flavored Cheetos. There are dozens of cheeses they could’ve gone with, but they stuck with what they know (and can pronounce) — cheddar.

I mean, there are so many cheeses with butcherable names they could flavor their cornmeal puffs with.

Here’s a list. Say them out loud and give your mouth a workout. Then guess which one of them is completely made up…without help from the internet.

There’s Gruyère, Boerenkaas, Taleggio, Montcabrer, Scamorza, Robiola della Alta Langa, Courgherst, Fium’Orbu, Neufchatel, Rauchkase, Camembert de Normandie, Nevat de Oveja, and Époisses.

(The answer can be found in the Cons section of this review)

But the fine food scientists at Frito-Lay didn’t pick a cheese with a tongue twister for a name, they decided to combine the flavor of smoked cheddar with their iconic snack to create the Limited Edition Smoked Cheddar Cheetos Puffs.

Limited Edition Smoked Cheddar Cheetos Puffs Closeup

Regular Cheetos Puffs have a strong cheesiness and it’s what makes them so great. But these Limited Edition Smoked Cheddar Cheetos lack that, even though they’re flavored with smoked cheddar, regular cheddar, blue cheese, and parmesan. Instead these crunchy puffs had a mild cheese and equally mild, slightly off-putting artificial smoke flavor.

The lack of cheesiness made me hesitate when it was time to decide whether or not to suck the Cheetos dust off my fingers. However, because I was too lazy to grab a napkin or to walk to a sink, I sucked my fingers clean. But I didn’t enjoy it.

The superimposed smoke that surrounds the Limited Edition Smoked Cheddar Cheetos on the front of the packaging makes each one look like it’s losing its soul. The image is fitting because the lack of cheesiness make these Cheetos taste like they’ve lost their souls.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 ounce/about 13 pieces – 150 calories, 90 calories from fat, 10 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 250 milligrams of sodium, 13 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, less than 1 gram of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.)

Other Limited Edition Smoked Cheddar Cheetos Puffs reviews:
Junk Food Guy
Chip Review

Item: Limited Edition Smoked Cheddar Cheetos Puffs
Purchased Price: $4.39
Size: 9 ounces
Purchased at: Foodland
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Crunchy. Not colored like smoked cheddar. Less radioactive looking. How easy it was to come up with a fake cheese name.
Cons: Not cheesy enough. Artificial smokiness was a little off-putting. Cheddar being the default cheese flavor for snacks. Made me hesitant to suck my fingers clean. Courgherst.

REVIEW: McDonald’s Baked Pumpkin Pie

McDonald's Baked Pumpkin Pie

Last year, I tried the McDonald’s Baked Pumpkin Pie and thought it was pretty good for what it was — namely, one of McDonald’s many pie varieties — although it had a lackluster crust and weird textured filling.

Well, I tried the fast food pumpkin pie again this year and all I have to say is that it appears McDonald’s is in cahoots with Paula Deen.

How else can one explain the flaky pastry crust adorned with warm cinnamon and buttery taste, and the warm, unctuous texture of the spicy yet rich filling that’s bursting with robust pumpkin flavor and a none-to-sweet finish that will make you swear off Pumpkin Pie Pop-Tarts for the remainder of your November?

A pumpkin junkie in my own right, I’ve had the autumnal rite of pumpkin pie flavored stuff in just about every conceivable form – and even some inconceivable ones. Pumpkin donuts. pumpkin pie yogurt. pumpkin muffins and ice cream and yes, even that standard, how-the-heck does it taste this artificially awesome pumpkin mousse that every Weight Watcher’s household has run-across. There have been some hits. There have been a lot of misses. But the McDonald’s Baked Pumpkin Pie is one of the few edible goodies that have been able to live up to any semblance of that traditionally rich and wholesome pumpkin pie your grandma bakes each Thanksgiving.

McDonald's Baked Pumpkin Pie Innards

My local McDonald’s wasn’t quite inclined to recreate the Thanksgiving experience by serving me my pumpkin pie on a recliner in front of a picture-in-picture HDTV with both the Cowboys game and Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade highlights on the screen, but my store did serve it to me piping hot and in a cute little orange box which made me feel like I was getting an early Christmas present, and not just one with a buttload of saturated fat in something the size of my phone.

McDonald's Baked Pumpkin Pie Innards 2

Adorned with a cinnamon glaze and three tiny slits on top, the pies themselves won’t win any beauty contests. Nor will they intoxicate you with the kind of siren-like aroma that causes even the most grotesquely stuffed post-Thanksgiving dinner guest to make a beeline for the dessert table. Yet for what the pie lacks in visual sophistication or intoxicating aroma, it somehow makes up in balance of taste and remarkable authenticity.

I don’t know if they changed the recipe from last year but the crust is much better from what I remember and isn’t just an afterthought to contain the warm and delicious filling. It has a delicate crumb and an enjoyably flaky texture, but it’s the buttery, croissant-like taste and baked-in cinnamon flavor which make it an enjoyable and dare-I-say sophisticated foil to the filling.

McDonald's Baked Pumpkin Pie FIlling

The filling itself is tough to describe outside of the prerequisite “mmmmmmm,” but I’ll do my best to exploit my non auditory vocabulary ability. Texturally speaking, it’s a bit more viscous than solid packed pumpkin filling, with specks of fall spices breaking up the bright orange. Despite looking like it might have come from a can, it tastes developed and rich, as if it’s been baked with the addition of brown sugar and evaporated milk – two staples of many a pumpkin pie recipe. The sweetness seems remarkably restrained, a pleasant surprise which allows the spices and pumpkin to shine while still providing enough textural contrast with the flaky crust.

I just don’t get it, I really don’t. I’m not suppose to enjoy a McDonald’s pie this much. A hamburger? Possibly. Fries? Certainly. But a one dollar pie exemplifying all that is right and good about autumn foods? As dumbfounded as I am at this apparent coup aimed at the family Thanksgiving table, McDonald’s Baked Pumpkin Pie cannot be denied it’s due deliciousness, especially not when it’s fresh baked and piping hot.

Thank you, Ronald and company. Whether it was Paula Deen and her Botox enhanced grins or just an assembly line of conscripted grandmothers, you’ve managed to create an affordable slice of the Holidays that’s as delicious as it is simple.

(Nutrition Facts – 240 calories, 110 calories from fat, 12 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 150 milligrams of sodium, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 30 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 11 grams of sugars, and 3 grams of protein.)

Other McDonald’s Pumpkin Pie reviews:
Foodette Reviews
Brand Eating

Item: McDonald’s Baked Pumpkin Pie
Purchased Price: $1.00
Size: N/A
Purchased at: McDonald’s
Rating: 9 out of 10
Pros: Flakey, buttery crust with warm cinnamon flavor. Filling has enjoyably viscous and warm consistency with classic warming spices and brown sugar sweetness. Not cloying. Comes in a cute box. Trans fat free. Tastes new and improved. Vitamin A!
Cons: Small, as in, three bites and your done small. Super source of saturated fat. Potential cultural ramifications of McDonald’s making a better pumpkin pie than my own grandmother. My grandmother reading this review and forcing me to sit at the kids table for Thanksgiving. Not available nationwide.

REVIEW: McDonald’s Holiday Mint McFlurry

Holiday Mint McFlurry

Usually, the McFlurry add-ins are mixed with the soft serve, but as you can see in the photo on the right that wasn’t the case with the McDonald’s Holiday Mint McFlurry I received.

It wasn’t a problem because I have opposable thumbs and extremely strong wrists to mix everything.

Also, I like the add-ins dumped on top like that because seeing all the red and green peppermint candy pieces made the McFlurry look more holiday-ish than if they were blended with the vanilla soft serve.

Having the candy pieces floating on the quickly melting soft serve also made the top of my McFlurry look like regurgitated crayons, a color blindness test, and the bottom of a fish bowl.

I originally thought the red and green pieces were minty candy coated chocolate, but after reading the ingredients list, it turns out they’re not chocolate and one-third of their ingredients are food dyes.

Here’s the ingredients list for those of you who are totally into food dyes: sugar, fractionated palm kernel oil, nonfat milk, corn syrup, corn cereal, modified food starch, partially hydrogenated soybean oil, degerminated yellow corn meal, soy lecithin, Red 40 Lake, natural flavor (botanical source), Yellow 5 Lake, salt, Blue 1 Lake, Turmeric Extract (Color), Red 40, Blue 1.

Mmm…degerminated yellow corn meal and Red 40.

Holiday Mint McFlurry Closeup

After using my opposable thumbs and strong wrists to combine the reduced fat vanilla soft serve, mint syrup, and peppermint candy pieces, my mouth soon discovered how minty the McDonald’s Holiday Mint McFlurry was. There were no bursts of peppermint going off in my mouth, which would’ve make the cold soft serve feel even colder and make my mouth feel like it’s hosting a ski resort. The peppermint candies were equally minty and sweet, and reminded me of Wrigley’s Doublemint Gum.

The peppermint candy pieces weren’t really what I would call crunchy, but had a firmness to them. Even though they were made with corn cereal and corn meal, they surprisingly didn’t get soggy while sitting in my half-melted McFlurry. I hope whatever processed food voodoo McDonald’s is doing to prevent them from getting soggy ends up in our breakfast cereals.

One last thing about the peppermint candy pieces. I thought they were harmless, nutritionally, because they’re made with bunch of corn products, dyes, and no chocolate, but they provide eight of the 15 grams of saturated fat in this McFlurry.

The vanilla soft serve and mint syrup was a nice combination, so much so that I’d like to do a McHack that involves adding the mint syrup to an Oreo McFlurry.

Overall, McDonald’s Holiday Mint McFlurry was a delightful treat, and if I’m feeling the holiday spirit, my opposable thumbs and strong wrists could see themselves mixing another.

(Nutrition Facts – 570 calories, 190 calories from fat, 21 grams of fat, 15 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 45 milligrams of cholesterol, 170 milligrams of sodium, 84 grams of carbohydrates, 76 grams of sugar, 0 grams of fiber, 12 grams of protein.)

Other McDonald’s Holiday Mint McFlurry reviews:
Brand Eating

Item: McDonald’s Holiday Mint McFlurry
Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: 12 ounces
Purchased at: McDonald’s
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Delightful. Pleasant mintiness. Colorful, if the peppermint candies are dumped on top. McHacks. Peppermint candy didn’t get soggy in melted soft serve. Opposable thumbs and strong wrists.
Cons: Awesome source of food dyes. Awesome source of saturated fat. Peppermint candy pieces created using processed food voodoo. The candy pieces on top looked like the bottom of a fish bowl.

REVIEW: Limited Edition Milky Way French Vanilla and Caramel

Limited Edition Milky Way French Vanilla and Caramel

“Limited Edition.”

The mere phrase has the power to transform, taking common fare and turning it into a full-on, hands-down life experience so that, 50-or-so years from now, you can sit on your porch and bang a cane on the ground as you tell some young band of whipper-snappers, “I remember, when I was your age, we used to have good ol’ fashioned Limited Edition French Vanilla Milky Ways!” Oh, the fulfillment that will come from such a pronouncement.

And, indeed, this was the thought that graced my mind as I perused the aisles of my friendly 24-hour pharmacy, searching in vain for those Halloween white chocolate M&M’s only to find the shelves empty as the Arizona duck ponds in the middle of July. As I felt myself drowning in a candy-induced crisis, a single wrapper reached out its hand. It was my rock. My salvation. And it came in the form of a 1.72-ounce bar.

Limited Edition Milky Way French Vanilla and Caramel Pre-Consumption

(Cue the angelic chorus from above!)

The wrapper is nothing short of mind-controlling genius. Did you see that caramel curl? The swirly background? The thick design of chocolate enveloped by vanilla flora? That’s how you do mind control, people.

The Milky Way and I have had a fond affair over the past years, spending many-a-summer’s day in its various deliciously sweet forms (half-melted, frozen, in ice cream, in cookies, and so forth), thus made it the perfect companion for my pillow-fort-and-mid-90s-movie marathon this past weekend.

In many ways, this Milky Way harkens back to the classic. The milk chocolate coating is still the thick shell it’s always been and caramel is still that welcoming stretchy goo of sweetness. The marked difference in this limited fare is in the vanilla nougat.

Just upon opening the bar, the smell of vanilla poofs into the air. After taking a bite, I wouldn’t describe it so much as a “French Vanilla” as I would a “Vanilla Flavoring” (think along the lines of vanilla pudding or Vanilla Coffee-mate Creamer), and is it just me or is the texture fluffier than usual? Yes, yes indeed. Pleasantly reminiscent of a marshmallow, too.

This sweet-on-sweet-on-sweet is something I happen to enjoy. However, I have a certain resilience that transcends the average sweet tooth, so this may be too sweet for some. If you need a little bitter to accompany your sweet, I could see this making for a stellar coffee stirrer (or, in honor of its francophone title, perhaps dip it in a little espresso cup while dining at a petite café). Of course, you could also whip out some graham crackers, toss the bar in the microwave for a few seconds, and boom! You have insta-s’more.

Glancing over the ingredients, I would recommend suppressing the whole “hydrogenated oils” and “30 percent of your recommended intake of saturated fat” jibber jabber. What really matters is hidden…

Limited Edition Milky Way French Vanilla and Caramel Ingredients

Do you see it?

Indeed! That’s skim milk! And egg whites! And more skim milk! These are the essential ingredients in a balanced breakfast! Watch out Wheaties. Milky Way is on your tail.

Limited Edition Milky Way French Vanilla and Caramel Goo

(The perfect way to start the day)

This Milky Way may not have sparks and whistles and buzzes. Heck, it doesn’t even have sea salt, but it does have yumminess, and maybe that’s why this Limited Edition Milky Way was put on this Earth: to remind us that it’s okay to not be revolutionary. Yummy is just fine.

(Nutrition Facts – 220 calories, 80 calories from fat, 8 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 65 milligrams of sodium, 35 grams of carbohydrates, 0 gram of dietary fiber, 30 grams of sugars, and 2 grams of protein.)

Item: Limited Edition Milky Way French Vanilla and Caramel
Purchased Price: $1.49
Size: 1.72 ounces
Purchased at: Walgreens
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Marshmallow-like nougat. Sweet. Mixing of old and new. Milky Way for breakfast. Pillow forts. S’more-related experiments.
Cons: Sweetness may be too much for some. Not very good for you. The unknown origins of “Vanilla Flavoring.” Mind control. Dried up duck ponds.

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