The peanut butter and jelly sandwich has grown with me throughout the years. Sometimes it would pop up in my bright green lunch bag. During high school it would find its way in a brown lunch sack. I would like to think my palate has matured since then, but due to my lack of culinary expertise and being a broke-ass college student, I’m finding out that a good ol’ PB&J (cut in quarters) can qualify as a hearty meal.

I’m definitely a chunky peanut butter girl, and I prefer grape over strawberry jam, unless I’m in a bind and the only jam I have left comes from one of those tiny Smucker’s packets you get at a diner (I also take Splenda and swizzle sticks). So why would I even try the new Strawberried Peanut Butter M&M’s?

Look at Red M&M on the packaging. The come hither look on that horny bastard’s face tempting you with not only peanut butter, but with the sweet taste of strawberry as well. It’s like he’s saying, “Hey, don’t worry, Green M&M won’t be home. She works nights at that club off of Interstate 95. It’s just going to be me, you, this here strawberry and a smooth as silk jar of peanut butter.”

As awful as it sounds, I gave into the Red M&M and his Strawberried Peanut Butter candies. What can I say; I’m a sucker for cartoon product mascots. The M&M’s come in three autumn inspired colors and are roughly the same size as your standard Peanut Butter M&M’s. I was a little disappointed to find out that there wasn’t any strawberry jam inside each piece, instead the shell is supposed to be strawberry flavored, but I didn’t find the taste potent enough. But it could be my taste buds, because my mother thought they had a strong taste of strawberry. To me, peanut butter made strawberry their bitch and I think strawberry wanted that as long as it got top billing when it came to naming this circular confection.

After reviewing the so-called M&M’s Premiums, I realized there’s no difference in quality between the two. It just shows you how pretty packaging can make something more expensive even if it tastes or looks like crap. Kind of like the Kardashian sisters.

The Strawberried Peanut Butter M&M’s are a limited edition, but I don’t think I will stock up, because they’re mediocre at best. Maybe it’s because I have fond memories of the old school Peanut Butter M&M’s, or maybe it’s the grudge I’ve been holding with M&M’s after they yanked the Crispy and Mini ones off the shelves a few years ago. Those little Minis tubes were useful when it came to holding your crack, paperclips, pushpins or other small office supplies.

I would buy the Strawberried Peanut Butter M&M’s again if they came in that tube, but I guess I’d also have to deal with the Red M&M on the package making bedroom eyes at me.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 bag – 230 calories, 14 grams of fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 85 milligrams of sodium, 22 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 19 grams of sugar, 4 grams of protein, 2% calcium and 2% iron.)

Item: Strawberried Peanut Butter M&M’s
Price: 78 cents
Size: 1.40 ounces
Purchased at: That-Store-Which-Has-A-Creepy-Smiley-Face-Mascot
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Nice peanut butter flavor. Green M&M bringing home a decent income by working 3 days a week. Never needing to buy Splenda or swizzle sticks. Melts in your mouth quite nicely.
Cons: Strawberry flavor is only on the shell and it isn’t strong enough. Red M&M giving you bedroom eyes. The death of both Crispy and M&M’s Minis. Really high in saturated fat.