Author: Vin

REVIEW: Planters White Cheddar Cheez Balls

Vin 4 Comments

Planters White Cheddar Cheez Balls

What are Planters White Cheddar Cheez Balls?

After being brought back from the snack graveyard in 2018, the least appetizingly named food since Dave’s Hot and Juicy, Planters Cheez Balls, now come in White Cheddar!

How are they?

That exclamation point is about as much excitement as you’re gonna get from this review because these stink, exclamation point.

I remember liking Planters Cheez Balls as a kid, but I guess it was just faux nostalgia, or “fauxstalgia” as no one says.

Planters White Cheddar Cheez Balls Bowl

The white cheddar flavor pales in comparison to basically every other white cheddar flavored snack on the market. I’m not kidding. It’s weak, and the flavor dust seems to melt away almost instantly.

If the flavor is bad, I gotta say, the texture is worse. These fall somewhere between slightly stale Cheetos and Cap’n Crunch cereal. I thought I would still inhale ’em despite all this, but I barely ate a quarter of the canister.

I might string the rest up like little snowballs and hang em on the tree, but I’m not sure I wanna smell the odd scent they emit.

Is there anything else you need to know?

Every time I ate more than a couple at a time, I got an almost fishy finishing taste. There’s nothing good going on here.

Planters White Cheddar Cheez Balls with Original

I picked up the original flavor too, and the aforementioned no one was right – it was fauxstalgia. They stink slightly less than white cheddar.

Now I’m terrified Planters might reboot my favorite childhood snack, PB Crisps. I consider them the GOAT, and I don’t think I can handle them not living up to that standard.

With that said, I still need them back in my life, so make it happen Planters.

Conclusion:

Planters White Cheddar Cheez Balls Closeup

There are so many better cheese snacks to buy over these. There are also so many better Planters products to buy over these. Don’t let the marketing fool you. These aren’t Crystal Pepsi. These aren’t Ecto Cooler. Your memory has deceived you. Don’t even bother.

Since this review was a little on the scathing side, I’d like to end with a joke.

Why does Mr. Peanut walk with a cane?

Because he has Planter Fasciitis!

Alright, that joke was cheesier than the actual cheez balls.

BRING BACK PB CRISPS!

Purchased Price: $1.66
Size: 2.75 oz. container
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 2 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 oz.) 150 calories, 8 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 330 milligrams of sodium, 16 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 1 gram of sugar, and 1 gram of protein.

REVIEW: Java Monster Oatmilk Farmer’s Oats

Vin

Java Monster Oatmilk Farmer s Oats

What is Java Monster Oatmilk Farmer’s Oats?

A new vegan-friendly Monster Java flavor using one of 2019’s trendiest beverages – oatmilk.

How is it?

I always avoid reading opinions about products I’m about to review, but I happened to stumble on a few super negative tweets that shocked me because I liked this just fine.

Upon cracking the can, I was met with a heartwarming smell that reminded me of Italian coffee hard candies my Grandmother used to eat, so maybe nostalgia blinded my opinion a little? (BTW, if that isn’t a perfect “Grandma Candy,” I don’t know what is.)

Java Monster Oatmilk Farmer s Oats Glass

The flavor wasn’t too far off from the other Monster coffees I’ve tried and enjoyed. I thought it was sweetened to perfection. The taste was faintly caramel with a little cinnamon – neither of which show up in the ingredients, but that’s what I got.

There’s a Rockstar Horchata flavor that it reminded me of a bit.

Is there anything else you need to know?

This may not sound like a ringing endorsement, but it was way thinner than I expected. The oatmilk I’ve tried had a pleasant viscosity to it, like a thicker almond milk, with a slightly stranger taste that really works.

That goes by the wayside here.

Java Monster Oatmilk Farmer s Oats Closeup

It kinda tasted like an iced coffee that sat around too long and got watered down, but still somehow held the initial flavor.

I got a faint taste of oatmilk, though, and I thought the finish was really nice. There was a non-cloying coating and aftertaste that reminded me of the flavor I get after demolishing a bowl of coffee ice cream.

Java Monster Oatmilk Farmer s Oats Artwork

Oh, and I did get a quick little boost of energy about 10 minutes after the last sip. It was short-lived, but that’s always the case for me and “energy” drinks. It’s not replacing my two morning cups of coffee in that department.

Conclusion:

Java Monster Oatmilk Farmer s Oats Copy

Ignoring the cliché Vegan joke on the can – “Haha, Vegans always be talkin’ bout how they Vegan!” – I’m a fan, and probably a repeat buyer. It may not be the best Java Monster flavor, but it’s still a worthy addition to the team.

Maybe those tweets are right and I’m nuts, but this is worth a shot, and I will definitely be trying oatmilk in my coffee soon.

Purchased Price: $2.14
Size: 15 fl. oz.
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (15 fl oz) 150 calories, 4 grams of fat, .5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 480 milligrams of sodium, 31 grams of total carbohydrates, 5 gram of dietary fiber, 25 grams of total sugars, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Skittles Dips

Vin 4 Comments

Skittles Dips Creamy Yogurt

What are Skittles Dips?

Skittles now come dipped in a creamy yogurt flavored coating.

How are they?

Do you enjoy “yogurt” coated raisins? Are you a Skittles fan? Well, that’s really all you have to ask yourself. If you answered “yes” to both questions like I did, then you’re in for a treat because I love these.

Skittles Dips Creamy Yogurt Package

The creamy yogurt dip is very similar to what you’re probably expecting. It has that sugary white chocolate flavor and texture, which interact well with each of the classic Skittles flavors – Strawberry, Grape, Green Apple (R.I.P. Lime), Lemon, and Orange. I think I liked Orange best, but they’re all great.

Skittles Dips Creamy Yogurt Closeup

There’s a nice thick layer of the coating that brings the size of each Skittle up from an M&M to slightly smaller than a peanut M&M.

Is there anything else you need to know?

Look, as with yogurt covered raisins, it’s best not to question the “yogurt” of all this. This “yogurt” isn’t turning your Skittles into a healthy snack. You hear “yogurt” and immediately think, “Wellll, look at me eating all healthy and responsible.” Still, we all know it’s essentially a sugar dip – an absolutely delicious sugar dip coating one of the greatest fruit-flavored candies in history.

Skittles Dips Creamy Yogurt Colors

Oh yeah, and I have to mention they look cool as hell, with little black “S’s” on the translucent white coating with each flavor’s color bleeding through. These rule on every level.

Conclusion:

If I have one dumb complaint, it’s that the Skittles seem extra hard and chewy after the coating melts away. They’re amazing, but I still prefer the textural experience of yogurt covered raisins or those Welch’s yogurt coated fruit snacks.

I’ve long questioned why there have never been Chocolate Covered Skittles, and with these being called “Skittles Dips,” and not “Yogurt Dipped Skittles,” it leads me to believe there might be plans to expand the product line.

If so, awesome, if not, I’m just pumped these exist. Make sure to pick these up.

Purchased Price: $2.98
Size: 11.20 oz. bag
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 oz.) 130 calories, 4.5 grams of fat, 4 grams of sat fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 mg of cholesterol, 15 milligrams of sodium, 23 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 20 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Dunkin’ Holiday Eggnog Signature Latte

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Dunkin Holiday Eggnog Signature Latte

What is Dunkin’s Holiday Eggnog Signature Latte?

From my experience, eggnog is a pretty divisive beverage. You either love it, or you think it’s Krampus saliva. I happen to think it’s absolutely delicious, so you better believe I’m all about Dunkin’s new twist on the holiday favorite.

How is it?

I apologize for getting your hopes up with the word “twist,” because this is just straight eggnog.

Dunkin’ claims their signature lattes are “steamed milk poured over espresso,” which one would assume, but I’m pretty sure I drank a glass of iced eggnog.

Is that a good thing or a bad thing? On the one hand, I love it, on the other, why go to Dunkin’ for a normal glass of eggnog?

This “latte” looks like eggnog, smells like eggnog, and tastes like watered down eggnog. Mission accomplished?

Is there anything else you need to know?

Clearly, there’s no hint of espresso here. The milk I understand, it’s definitely thinner than the usual gloppy stuff you’d get in a carton, but there’s no coffee taste or buzz.

Dunkin Holiday Eggnog Signature Latte Whipped Topping

While the flavor is almost dead on, there was slightly less of that nutmeg/cinnamon spiced flavor. I chalk that up to the barista forgetting to sprinkle the whipped topping with cinnamon sugar. I didn’t get the caramel drizzle either, but I don’t care even a little bit about that.

In all honesty, I’m pretty sick of whipped topping. It melted immediately, and I don’t think it enhances anything.

Conclusion:

This probably should have been a Coolatta to set it apart, but I can’t complain too much.

Dunkin Holiday Eggnog Signature Latte Closeup

Despite being bummed about the lack of coffee flavor, I love eggnog, and this was my first of the season. The stupid non-festive Yankees cap tried to ruin it, but I was in my holiday glory while sipping this. It almost felt like I was…sing it with me, folks:

Nog, nog, noggin on heaven’s doo-oo-rrr…

You’re not singing, are ya?

It’s all good, like eggnog, my horrific musical puns are an acquired taste.

Purchased Price: $3.69
Size: Small
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 320 calories, 11 grams of fat, 7 grams of sat fat, 0 grams of trans fat,90 mg of cholesterol, 190 milligrams of sodium, 47 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 41 grams of sugar, and 7 grams of protein.

Wondering about Dunkin’s other holiday Signature Lattes? Click the following links for our reviews for the Toasted Gingerbread and Merry Mocha Mint Signature Lattes.

REVIEW: Dunkin’ Beyond Sausage Sandwich

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Dunkin Beyond Sausage Sandwich

It seems like only yesterday when I first heard rumblings that mad scientists were attempting to create “meat-less” meats, and here I am, getting it at Dunkin’.

That’s right, Dunkin’ has jumped into the plant-based protein fray with the new Beyond Sausage Sandwich.

According to the official press release, this sausage from Beyond Meat is “made with 100% plant-based proteins and a mix of spices crafted especially for Dunkin.” So far, I’ve only tried plant-based burgers, so I was pretty pumped to see what breakfast had to offer.

Dunkin Beyond Sausage Sandwich Closeup

Well, right out of the gate, the Beyond sausage patty looked pretty gross, evoking memories of the “hamburgers” I used to get in my school lunches.

It smelled familiar, but it took me a few bites before I nailed the scent down.

The aforementioned press release mentioned the following are used to construct the patty, “peas, mung beans, rice and sunflower to provide the protein and coconut oil to ensure juiciness.” Now you know how the “sausage” is made. Who doesn’t love a good mung bean?!

Along with the sausage, the sandwich had that typical plasticky egg, a piece of cheese, and a super floppy English muffin that has a flavor like an Egg McMuffin. When I bit in, nothing tasted amiss.

The “meat” itself was pretty chewy, but the texture wasn’t that far off from what I expected from prior Dunkin’ breakfast sausage. I snipped a piece off to try solo, and it tasted like slightly over spiced, low-grade meat, but that’s honestly how I’d describe all Dunkin’s meats.

Now getting back to the smell, because it finally dawned on me what the meat seasoning smelled and tasted a bit like – stuffing.

Dunkin Beyond Sausage Sandwich Split

What’s the main spice in stuffing? I could easily Google it, but I’d rather ramble on until it pops in my brain. I remember when I reviewed the Lay’s Biscuits and Gravy chips, the main takeaway was that it tasted like Stove Top. This sandwich brought back memories of those which brought back memories of that!

Is it sage? I think it’s sage and some onion powder. That’s the best I can do, with Dunkin’ being all Colonel Sanders secretive on its spices. For all I know, it could also have parsley, rosemary, and thyme, and the recipe could have been concocted while listening to Simon and Garfunkel.

If I had any sage advice, it would be to ease up a bit on the spices.

Beyond that, they succeeded. For what this is, it’s pretty remarkable, most definitely edible, and enjoyable. I’m not a big cheese on breakfast sandwich’ guy, but that slice helped here. The generic egg and the slightly weird protein would have made for a worse sandwich without it.

In the breakfast pantheon, it’s middle of the road at best. I’m not sure I’ll be a repeat customer. While I appreciate the nutritional improvements, it doesn’t taste quite as good as real meat to a heathen such as myself. For a vegetarian, though? This is an excellent option.

Purchased Price: $4.49
Size: N/A
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 470 calories, 24 grams of fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 910 milligrams of sodium, 38 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 3 grams of sugar, and 24 grams of protein.